query...
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greetings...
just wondering if any guys here who doesnt want to settle down even thou there's a gal that u like n she likes u too? the only thing bugging u is tat u dun wana settle down... u dun wan to go into a relationship...
i just wana ask WHY? wat makes u think this way?
pls share ur experiences here ya? tx...
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Your idea of settling down is being in a relationship(BGR) or Marriage?
A person could have a relationship but never tot of settling down.
In your opinion, being settled down means tied down? -
I guess prolly the guy tinks tt he nids a bit more time to get to noe the gal better and to prepare himself for commitments and responsibilities..
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Good question. Applies differently to different people.
Everybody's concept of marriage is different. Everybody's ability to accept different consequences and choice of thinking is different.
I can state a few reasons but may not be true.
Has other options:
(1) Decides it is not time to settle down until he's affirmative that he made the correct choice.
(2) Intends to settle down with other options.
(3) Never wanted to settle down with any options.
(4) Never interested in current option.
(5) Intends to keep all options available and thus rejects suggestions since he does not want to lose any single option.
Does not have other variable options
(1) Thinks it is not right time to work on it.
(2) Have to listen to opinions of friends.
(3) Have to listen to opinions of family.
BRB work! -
Nelstar has more or less listed out the popular reasons.
But there are some uncommon ones, like:-
1) Not sure he can take care of the girl.
2) Not sure whether he can support her financially.
3) Not sure whether can give her happiness.
4) Not sure whether his heart will be broken, if he gives his heart away.
5) Not sure whether the girl's feelings for him is true.
6) Not sure whether can take another heartbreak (linked to 4)
That's all i can think of for now. The main point here though, is uncertainty holding him back.
Hope it helps~ -
May I ask how old are you??Originally posted by me|:greetings...
just wondering if any guys here who doesnt want to settle down even thou there's a gal that u like n she likes u too? the only thing bugging u is tat u dun wana settle down... u dun wan to go into a relationship...
i just wana ask WHY? wat makes u think this way?
pls share ur experiences here ya? tx...
Or had you any bad past experiences??
Probably your reluctance to commitment is due to something that hinders you from progressing..
At times of our lives, we all have to take up responsibilities.
If you think you`re mature enough to handle all these, why the reason not to follow your heart??
Sometimes we wait our lives just to meet the `real`one..
Once missed, she might never come back again..
Think twice before you do anything,
who know you may meet a better person in the future??
take these things w strides, one step at a time
if you don`t wanna commit,
i`ll suggest you not lead her on,
or perhap you could have given your self somemore time to `see` if the gal is all u ever wanted while u remains as frens or even good frens 1st.
There`s no right or wrong in love. -
yupOriginally posted by _Aaron_:Nelstar has more or less listed out the popular reasons.
But there are some uncommon ones, like:-
1) Not sure he can take care of the girl.
2) Not sure whether he can support her financially.
3) Not sure whether can give her happiness.
4) Not sure whether his heart will be broken, if he gives his heart away.
5) Not sure whether the girl's feelings for him is true.
6) Not sure whether can take another heartbreak (linked to 4)
That's all i can think of for now. The main point here though, is uncertainty holding him back.
Hope it helps~
exactly the word on my mind -
Yeah... Personal preference or personal experience...Originally posted by me|:greetings...
just wondering if any guys here who doesnt want to settle down even thou there's a gal that u like n she likes u too? the only thing bugging u is tat u dun wana settle down... u dun wan to go into a relationship...
i just wana ask WHY? wat makes u think this way?
pls share ur experiences here ya? tx...
What do you mean by 'settle down'? If you can be happy together forever, why should there be a need to 'settle down'? And if you can't be... What's the point of remaining attached and 'settling down'? -
I totally appreciate everyone's advises... when i say settle down, i mean as in a stable gf, not marriage... sorry if im misleading anyone.Originally posted by Devil1976:Yeah... Personal preference or personal experience...
What do you mean by 'settle down'? If you can be happy together forever, why should there be a need to 'settle down'? And if you can't be... What's the point of remaining attached and 'settling down'?
such a thing indeed happened to me recently.. i believed i made the gal totally devasted.
apparently she's still able to take it quite ok, perhaps its just a strong front that she put up to make me feel better... she is a nice gal, and i duno how to appreciate her. damned!
im sincerely echoing for gals to post their comments here... i just wan to hear from their point of view, whether a guy like me, doenst deserve a good gf rite? im just unable to give gals a sense of security...
everyone, pls enlighten me with your humble comments... i need it... tx -
at least u told the girl that u don't want a relationship instead of taking advantage of her feelings for u and going into a relation when u don't have the intention to...that's being responsible for ur own actions, nothing wrong with that. It may bring sadness to the girl, but if she realli likes u, i guess she should understand and be thankful that u're not taking advantage of her feelingsOriginally posted by me|:I totally appreciate everyone's advises... when i say settle down, i mean as in a stable gf, not marriage... sorry if im misleading anyone.
such a thing indeed happened to me recently.. i believed i made the gal totally devasted.
apparently she's still able to take it quite ok, perhaps its just a strong front that she put up to make me feel better... she is a nice gal, and i duno how to appreciate her. damned!
im sincerely echoing for gals to post their comments here... i just wan to hear from their point of view, whether a guy like me, doenst deserve a good gf rite? im just unable to give gals a sense of security...
everyone, pls enlighten me with your humble comments... i need it... tx
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Siaobell, u made me feel better...Originally posted by Siaobell:at least u told the girl that u don't want a relationship instead of taking advantage of her feelings for u and going into a relation when u don't have the intention to...that's being responsible for ur own actions, nothing wrong with that. It may bring sadness to the girl, but if she realli likes u, i guess she should understand and be thankful that u're not taking advantage of her feelings 
hopefully this gal is able to find a better guy, someone who will care for her sincerely and who is serious, unlike me ya... -
Originally posted by me|:Siaobell, u made me feel better...
hopefully this gal is able to find a better guy, someone who will care for her sincerely and who is serious, unlike me ya... -
Personally I think you yourself should know better why you don't want to go into a relationship, people here can only assume or guess but they can never know what your actual thinking is. You should be thinking what is it that is stopping you or holding you back from starting a relationship with her.Originally posted by me|:greetings...
just wondering if any guys here who doesnt want to settle down even thou there's a gal that u like n she likes u too? the only thing bugging u is tat u dun wana settle down... u dun wan to go into a relationship...
i just wana ask WHY? wat makes u think this way?
pls share ur experiences here ya? tx...
No one has the right to judge whether you deserve her or not but only herself.
To her you may be her happiness but if she's not yours then too bad.
If you have already made up your mind, no point hoping that she will find someone better, serious about her, etc... bcos it does not concern you anymore. -
me|, i'm sorry but i have to say. F*CKER, YOU ARE A JERK!Originally posted by me|:I totally appreciate everyone's advises... when i say settle down, i mean as in a stable gf, not marriage... sorry if im misleading anyone.
such a thing indeed happened to me recently.. i believed i made the gal totally devasted.
apparently she's still able to take it quite ok, perhaps its just a strong front that she put up to make me feel better... she is a nice gal, and i duno how to appreciate her. damned!
im sincerely echoing for gals to post their comments here... i just wan to hear from their point of view, whether a guy like me, doenst deserve a good gf rite? im just unable to give gals a sense of security...
everyone, pls enlighten me with your humble comments... i need it... tx
Like you, i had this girl whom i liked and she likes me too. Like you, i think that im unable to commit fully to the relationship and thus initiate to end the relationship. What you are going thru now, i been there before. Like you, im a jerk too.
There are some questions, are you the one who initiate this relationship?
Did you went steady with her before telling her that you cant commit?
Do you keep in contact with her still?
After i told her that, i didnt keep in contact with her. I thought it would be the better for both since im not able to commit or watever. Its only when years later that i chanced upon the sadness i bought to her and regretted. Its only thru a friend that i realised how much pain i bought to her due to my selfishness. I did feel hurt making that initial decision, but i believe i recovered shortly after.
While im living normally soon after, she is suffering. While i feel i am justified in making that decision, she is suffering from the pain i caused her. While all these happened a long time ago, i do feel guilty sometimes and keep minimal contact with her.
mel, as i read your post it just reminds me of my past.
[quote]Originally posted by me|:
i believed i made the gal totally devasted.
apparently she's still able to take it quite ok, perhaps its just a strong front that she put up to make me feel better...
[quote]
Does she really feels ok?
Have you talk to her since then? I hoped so, if not you are just a fu*cker (as i am).
Giving up the relationship because you fear that you cant commit to, it is foolish. That is, did you ever try trying at all? For you to say (me to say) is easy, but hav you thought of the girl's feeling. Put yourself in her shoes, how would you feel? A girl that you love so much say suddenly she have to break off just because she cant commit, can you take it easily? If not, how would you expect her too?
Came across in a website before and find it meaningful.
Love is not about finding the perfect woman. Instead love is learning to see an imperfect woman to be perfect.
There is nothing in this world such as perfect woman (maybe except mother). Nobody is perfect including me and you (and her).
Take time to think about this. It may takes you minutes or days to come out with that decision, but it may takes her years to forget you. Don't let your decision take the joy off someone else. Its just isnt fair to her (and my her too). At the very least, be there by her side and knows what she is going thru now. If not, making a decision and leaving her alone will not be the most responsible thing to do in the world.
Maybe you are right (like most of the people here), or maybe you are not so right. Maybe you should not even start at all. I may be wrong but maybe there is just something more for the both of you. Maybe you just shouldnt give up so early. Maybe, well just maybe...
That is all i want to say. Please don't let another girl suffer silently in pain (again).
Good luck for you (and for her). -
Have u tried talking to her abt ur fears n apprehension? MAybe after tt she'll understand u better n be more patient.. porbably u'll lay ur fears down at ease n eventually change ur mind.. other den interacting with us n seeking views.. u should also sit down n talk to her..
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it's sth special n rare when two pple r attracted to each other.. so u should try to work things out n not give it up.. seems like she's willing to do sth abt it while u r not.. it takes 2 hands to clap..
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Not necessary oni applied to guys, there r gals who dun wan to settle down so fast...tis all depends on individual thking n pattern of livingOriginally posted by me|:greetings...
just wondering if any guys here who doesnt want to settle down even thou there's a gal that u like n she likes u too? the only thing bugging u is tat u dun wana settle down... u dun wan to go into a relationship...
i just wana ask WHY? wat makes u think this way?
pls share ur experiences here ya? tx...
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Strongly felt that he/she is not the right person for you...just that he/she is the only person that is available for you and therefore you try to go into a relationship with that person.Originally posted by me|:greetings...
just wondering if any guys here who doesnt want to settle down even thou there's a gal that u like n she likes u too? the only thing bugging u is tat u dun wana settle down... u dun wan to go into a relationship...
i just wana ask WHY? wat makes u think this way?
pls share ur experiences here ya? tx...