advice needed
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Good day all,
I would like so opinions of things which has happened to me these few weeks.
I am currently a student on an exchange program in the US. Before i left i got to know this wonderful gal. We kept in contact through the MSN even after i came to the states. There was one point of time in MSN where i was joking asking her to date some of our common friends.However this was a mistake, She got kinda cheesed off and said something along the line of If u want me to date him i will do so because u said so. Well that kinda shrunk my balls that nite and i confessed to her of my liking for her. Eventually she told me that she missed me too .As days went by she even told mi that she liked me and stuff.At one point she even said she wants to join mi backpacking in the states after her exams and also after my exchange program which is around june. Coincidentally her bday falls on the 13th of june which she said that she wana spend that day with a special someone which is apparently me.However at one points things seem to cool down. I was rather sick and tired, thus i ceased all contacts with her to which i went to do some thinking and re- evaluate whether i shld try and mantain this unstable so called relationship.After 2 days i couldnt take it and came back online.Her respone was that i am heartless for not contacting her n smsing her . Things heated up again and she was doing really sweet things for mi...leaving sweet emails for me...2 nites ago she wrote something for me .She knew i was a utada hikaru fan and she penned her feelings using songs title from hikaru.In case u all want to know the content of the letter , some of the song titles she used were,addicted to u,eternally etc. If i can i will post the letter in a later post cos i i am currently in the uni library and that file is in my laptop. Last nite i smsed her whether she reached home safely and guess what her reply was?she said that i shldnt worry so much bout her since we are just friends and even best frens dun do that. That pretty much left me blue....i felt so led on.. even as i write this... can u guys give mi ur comments n insights?i feel so lost..... i am not some immature guy who is irrationale , i just need opinions. so pls dun flame me... i am feeling worse as it is...lonely in a foreign country n yet i get this type of treatment...
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I understand how you feel in a way. Cos I just got out from a r/s where a guy just led me on and then told me he doesn't love me the way I loved him. I know how it is like to feel lonely overseas because I am studying in US as well, and I have been here for 2 years ++ le. But you will have to get used to it, even if you are away from home, dat doesn't mean you wun get this kinda treatment, life isn't fair that way.
since she already said she treated you as frens only, then just treat her as one lor...If you find it difficult, just avoid doing things for her for now...
i.c.y -
Well, don't jump to any conclusions yet. You said you talked with her everyday so by today you may get a different feeling again. Some people just have mood swings and say contradictory things sometimes (it happens to all of us). Must feel terrible when you're alone so far away - I've had the experience too. Take it easy pal....and good luck.
I learn something new everyday. You SMSed her last night (US time)? I didn't even know we could sms between US and Singapore. -
hahahahaha! steady lah...
She's an online player! 
well dude... I'm surprise you don't see the games of a player, she's playing hot and cold, like tugging at the fishing rod with you sadly... chasing her bait.
It's a thing many of us do when we... try to get someone. Many recognise it, a few do it without realising it.
many find this a refreshing way to heat up a drying relationship... and many like you.. end up getting burnt. You sound like a kuala bear hugging to this relationship. so dance around it instead. Else sooner you both might fall asleep in this relationship.
Either way... maybe she just needs some time off from this net relationship, so chill Maybe you can do the same, spice things up a little. -
yah...every sms sent cost $0.50 leh...kill people set fire
but since u sms her at nite...i think different time zone...so she may be sleeping n u asked whether she reached home le...she might be pissed off naturally... -
haha thanks all....
brad: i used the singapore timing to sms her....i am here for like one month at most , therefore my laptop timing is still singapore time
as for the online player thingy...i am kinda aware too....thanks alot all
even if the whole world is against mi, i will find some strength within myself -
Okay, before I start giving advice, let me first address your statement.Originally posted by Faded82:Good day all,
I would like so opinions of things which has happened to me these few weeks.
I am currently a student on an exchange program in the US. Before i left i got to know this wonderful gal. We kept in contact through the MSN even after i came to the states. There was one point of time in MSN where i was joking asking her to date some of our common friends.However this was a mistake, She got kinda cheesed off and said something along the line of If u want me to date him i will do so because u said so. Well that kinda shrunk my balls that nite and i confessed to her of my liking for her. Eventually she told me that she missed me too .As days went by she even told mi that she liked me and stuff.At one point she even said she wants to join mi backpacking in the states after her exams and also after my exchange program which is around june. Coincidentally her bday falls on the 13th of june which she said that she wana spend that day with a special someone which is apparently me.However at one points things seem to cool down. I was rather sick and tired, thus i ceased all contacts with her to which i went to do some thinking and re- evaluate whether i shld try and mantain this unstable so called relationship.After 2 days i couldnt take it and came back online.Her respone was that i am heartless for not contacting her n smsing her . Things heated up again and she was doing really sweet things for mi...leaving sweet emails for me...2 nites ago she wrote something for me .She knew i was a utada hikaru fan and she penned her feelings using songs title from hikaru.In case u all want to know the content of the letter , some of the song titles she used were,addicted to u,eternally etc. If i can i will post the letter in a later post cos i i am currently in the uni library and that file is in my laptop. Last nite i smsed her whether she reached home safely and guess what her reply was?she said that i shldnt worry so much bout her since we are just friends and even best frens dun do that. That pretty much left me blue....i felt so led on.. even as i write this... can u guys give mi ur comments n insights?i feel so lost..... i am not some immature guy who is irrationale , i just need opinions. so pls dun flame me... i am feeling worse as it is...lonely in a foreign country n yet i get this type of treatment...
You said this -There was one point of time in MSN where i was joking asking her to date some of our common friends.However this was a mistake, She got kinda cheesed off and said something along the line of If u want me to date him i will do so because u said so. Well that kinda shrunk my balls that nite and i confessed to her of my liking for her.
Yes! That was a mistake. I agree with you. But what puzzled me was, why did you do it in the place? Since you know it was a mistake, why proceed?
If you know you like this girl, it's best if you can do things like creating an atmosphere of tension over at her side when speaking with you, or you can be humorous, cheeky, friendly or whatsoever to build the tension of sexual attraction.. rather than moving the topic into that one mentioned above by you. This stupid topic will eventually backfires and causes you to express your feelings to her. Once you confess your feelings too fast too soon, GAME OVER!
You got that? Good.
Now, back to the present. A few things you can really do now: -
1) Be strong. I know it's easier said than done, but I've got faith in you. If I could do it before, I know that you can do it too. It's your decision. Choose whether you want to be strong and move on, or choose to be weak and fail all of your exams.
2) Time to socialize. As you said you are feeling lonely there. I guess this is not only because she's rejected you or somewhat, but I think you may need to make some friends there. In that way, you won't feel so lonely and depressed.
3) Stop contacting her for a while. Do this for your own sake. Hey, I'm not telling you to be selfish. But I want you to defend your own emotions at this time and sort them out before you can face her online.
4) Focus on more important stuffs at this time. Since you are studying overseas, why don't you start focusing on your studies more often now? In time, if you do well, you would have a bright future ahead. I know you will. So all I need you do now, is to focus; focus; and focus. The more you focus on one object, the greater presence of that object will engulf you. Try this. And don't let yourself be distracted!
Hope these tips can help you.
Any problems, you can PM me. I'll try my best to help.
Best of hope.
S.H.I.N. -
actually.. there's a lot of.. "online players" around.
i felt that u shouldnt take her too seriously.
or rather leave her alone to clear ur mind.
i afraid if u continue this, u might be the one getting hurt.