A question for all
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I got to know this girl for more than half a year liao during which we became quite close and i admit i liked her and the feeling is getting stronger.... but too bad she has a bf currently.. even though the r/s doesnt seem strong.....
Recently while having a chat, we ventured into the topic of virginity.... and she told me she isnt.... and confess that her prev bf had forced himself on her.... however she feel nothing abt it even though i consider it an act of violation... she feel that its just some body contact only and happen to all others also...
truth is i feel confused now.... is she really telling her true feeling? or just trying to hide it? do girls treat this things so lightly? be glad to hear any comment from u guys.... -
Perhaps her thoughts are like mine.
Something has been done.
Whether its good or bad, its all in the head.
If we tell ourselves its a traumatic experience, then it will be.
If we told ourself it didn't matter, and we should move on, then it will be.
Perhaps its her way of saying, what's done is done, one shouldn't cry over spilled milk after all.
But i sure hope that doesn't scar her future sexual experiences with her future husband.. -
I feel that there's no right or wrong..as in..whether she is a virgin or not.
it's all in you mentality. can you accept it?
so many similar threads in AA recently..I tot nowadays people are more liberate..most pple are already not V during teenage days..
What she told you might be the truth. Once two people gets too physical, things just happen. But then..so what if she's telling you the truth or not? If the truth is more unexpected than this..can you accept it or not?
It's not a gender issue..do girls treat this lightly? It depends on individual. -
does virginity really matter so much now?
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Hi pal.Originally posted by blackburn:I got to know this girl for more than half a year liao during which we became quite close and i admit i liked her and the feeling is getting stronger.... but too bad she has a bf currently.. even though the r/s doesnt seem strong.....
Recently while having a chat, we ventured into the topic of virginity.... and she told me she isnt.... and confess that her prev bf had forced himself on her.... however she feel nothing abt it even though i consider it an act of violation... she feel that its just some body contact only and happen to all others also...
truth is i feel confused now.... is she really telling her true feeling? or just trying to hide it? do girls treat this things so lightly? be glad to hear any comment from u guys....
I agree with the forumites here that posted their comments.
As they've said, it's your mentality. Let me share with you what I've been through.
When I was having s.e.x. with my ex years ago, which was the first time I ever did such a thing as far as I remembered. But the moment when she uttered something to me... something that goes like this, "..honey, I'm not fresh anymore." I was shocked. I paused for a while and that day on, I gave myself some time to think it through.
Days passed, and I realized that I should get over it and accept her for what she was then. From that day onwards, I made a decision to get over it at once and I did!
As they all said, it's all in your mind. Also, it's your choice whether you choose to accept or condemn that person.. But as far as I understand, you wouldn't condemn a person you love right? So, get over it bro!!!
Best of hope!
S.H.I.N. -
Why should what she did with her bf and how she see of it matters to you...Originally posted by blackburn:I got to know this girl for more than half a year liao during which we became quite close and i admit i liked her and the feeling is getting stronger.... but too bad she has a bf currently.. even though the r/s doesnt seem strong.....
Recently while having a chat, we ventured into the topic of virginity.... and she told me she isnt.... and confess that her prev bf had forced himself on her.... however she feel nothing abt it even though i consider it an act of violation... she feel that its just some body contact only and happen to all others also...
truth is i feel confused now.... is she really telling her true feeling? or just trying to hide it? do girls treat this things so lightly? be glad to hear any comment from u guys....
Different girls would take this kinda thing with different level of 'severity'.... -
Virginity has lost its meaning in this world.
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Would any 1 wants their wifes or husband not a virgin? Used items are also sold cheaper in shops.. The world is full of women, full of men.. why brood over something like this? Take ur time, u'll find the 1 perfectly for u.. The world is so that unfair..
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i dun think this is true. depends on which generation you're talking abt. even fur the current generation, i wouldn't say MOST. MOST = more than 50% which i dun think soOriginally posted by LilO gIrL:I feel that there's no right or wrong..as in..whether she is a virgin or not.
it's all in you mentality. can you accept it?
so many similar threads in AA recently..I tot nowadays people are more liberate..most pple are already not V during teenage days..
What she told you might be the truth. Once two people gets too physical, things just happen. But then..so what if she's telling you the truth or not? If the truth is more unexpected than this..can you accept it or not?
It's not a gender issue..do girls treat this lightly? It depends on individual. -
Hi Blackburn,
If she indeed tried to hide her feelings, that is even more a signal not to bring it up and make her get reminded of it. Let her get successful.
Do u understand what I mean?
All the best. -
just do it!
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well... thanks for all the views so far... actually i am quite open minded one lah... agree that virginity has lost its meaning.... i can accept both lah... got a bit shocked initially but is okay now....
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Virginity is no more a virtue than malnutrition.
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Human beings are not goods that are sold in shops.Originally posted by just_a_boy:Would any 1 wants their wifes or husband not a virgin? Used items are also sold cheaper in shops.. The world is full of women, full of men.. why brood over something like this? Take ur time, u'll find the 1 perfectly for u.. The world is so that unfair..
Virginity is a virtue, but not a must. The must here is to find someone u love, vice versa...not someone who is a virgin.
From experiences (not many), virgins does nothing for you during sex...and i mean practically nothing...nb...totally no fun at all....unless u like blood...u od not need to find a virgin...besides...what with the lame excuse of, "I ride bicycle everyday..."
You don't even get to see blood lo. -
You're 'YOUNG' BOY... STEP DOWN before you lost your way....Originally posted by blackburn:well... thanks for all the views so far... actually i am quite open minded one lah... agree that virginity has lost its meaning.... i can accept both lah... got a bit shocked initially but is okay now.... -
Yup, as long as she doesn't start sleeping around when she's with you. Now that's the real problem that you'd like to not have.Originally posted by Devil1976:Why should what she did with her bf and how she see of it matters to you...