Home > Aunt Agony

Lost and confused in the midst of pain...

Wind
23 Apr 02, 04:28

I used to think that it is quite funny to post out messages like this and made your own problems known to everyone. I think I have no one to turn to now except facing my 17' monitor...

I love her very much, deeply...and she is a year older than me.

We were together for 4 months plus. Yes, a very short period to the majority of you. But you don't understand how I had gave in for this relationship. I was so afraid of falling into it and when I have decided to be with her, I gave everything all out.

In the end, she chose to left me at my most vulnerable period. Her decision came 6 days after we knitted back our misunderstandings... 6 days ago, I waited for her 3 days...from morning to night at her void deck. I waited for her. I never eat. It wasn't my fault for this situation. It is tough to explain. It was her antics which made me flared up a bit...and instead she wanted to give up.

3 days later, she came down and talked to me. She told me her mind is made up. I thought...it is all over. When I went home, she messaged me and told me to give her more time to think. Of course, I was so happy then. Yes, she finally picked me up again. Next day, she came to my house for dinner and we resumed back to normal.

6 days later, which I never do anything or made her angry...she gave me up. Why!? I never understand...I really can't. Not even till now which is already 4 months after...

You know how it feels like? I was climbing my way up a mountain, just when I thought I was about to reach the summit, she pushed me down. Just in time, she grabbed me and urged me to climb again. I did. Yet, she pushed me down again. She pushed me down 3 times...in which only once was my own fault. The other 2 isn't! Whenever there was a slight chance, I am willing to climb again.

I am devastated. I did everything for her, from courting her to pleasing her. I gave in everything. She was the one who is receiving... I even gave up my future and yet how does she treat me? I finally understood that certain things cannot be forced.

The more I gave in, the more hurt I have in return. Deep inside, I know I really need her...I can't let go.

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Everytime I think I've hit bottom, somebody throws me a shovel.
^FeRRoCiOuS^
23 Apr 02, 04:40

Time will heal ur pain buddy.. u'll juz have to stop looking back n put urself back to 1 piece..

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*~DuN CaRe DuN GiVe a DaMn~*

[This message has been edited by ^FeRRoCiOuS^ (edited 23 April 2002).]
Devil1976
23 Apr 02, 12:50

Originally posted by Wind:
I used to think that it is quite funny to post out messages like this and made your own problems known to everyone. I think I have no one to turn to now except facing my 17' monitor...

YOU, I think.... Is a SENSIBLE guy...? Try to learn from this lesson well... But avoid restricting yourself to only the NEGATIVE views and impacts of a broken relationship...

I love her very much, deeply...and she is a year older than me.

We were together for 4 months plus. Yes, a very short period to the majority of you. But you don't understand how I had gave in for this relationship. I was so afraid of falling into it and when I have decided to be with her, I gave everything all out.

COMMON 'mistake'....?

In the end, she chose to left me at my most vulnerable period.

It doesn't matter when she choose to leave you... Even if she's still with you today, there's still no guarantee that she won't choose to leave you one day? And to be frank with you (no hard feelings...), from the way that you're 'giving EVERYTHING' to her in a relationship... Chances are it WON'T last in the future... Not that you're not a good guy... GIVING can be also considered as a BURDEN in a relationship... An OVERLOADING PRESSURE.... Unless in some SPECIAL CASES, most of the time the relationship would just naturally die down... Be glad that this relationship doesn't nurture itself too long that is might be even more UNBEARABLE to part when the time comes?

When your partner choose to leave you, you'll USUALLY be 'vulnerable'....

Her decision came 6 days after we knitted back our misunderstandings... 6 days ago, I waited for her 3 days...from morning to night at her void deck. I waited for her. I never eat. It wasn't my fault for this situation. It is tough to explain.

I can understand your LOVE for her... Maybe this is what you did which touched her and made her had that swift of heart...? But remember, a relationship like this is about LOVE... Not sympathy... No offence, but perhaps you'd just planted your own seed...?

And also, nobody ask you to do that.... Such things are NOT always appreciated... It works when you're trying to overcome some 'misunderstandings'.... But don't when the decision is more or less finalised... Such tactics only lengthen PAIN in such instances...?

It was her antics which made me flared up a bit...and instead she wanted to give up.

3 days later, she came down and talked to me. She told me her mind is made up. I thought...it is all over. When I went home, she messaged me and told me to give her more time to think. Of course, I was so happy then. Yes, she finally picked me up again. Next day, she came to my house for dinner and we resumed back to normal.

6 days later, which I never do anything or made her angry...she gave me up. Why!? I never understand...I really can't. Not even till now which is already 4 months after...

DON'T BOTHER to figure that out? If a woman can reject you, there can usually be SO MANY possible reasons... Not to mention the ABRUPT ones and some..? NO REASONS... Just 'feel like it'...? You're not getting yourself anywhere by INSISTING on 'what went wrong'...? If you figure it out, 'good' for you and perhaps your next relationship(s) to come... If you doesn't, just let it go...? I know you might have given ALOT in this relationship, but in life... Not all things pay off in equal or direct return.... (Some don't at all?) Most probably ain't gonna help much anyway....?

You know how it feels like? I was climbing my way up a mountain, just when I thought I was about to reach the summit, she pushed me down. Just in time, she grabbed me and urged me to climb again. I did. Yet, she pushed me down again. She pushed me down 3 times...in which only once was my own fault. The other 2 isn't! Whenever there was a slight chance, I am willing to climb again.

I am devastated. I did everything for her, from courting her to pleasing her. I gave in everything. She was the one who is receiving... I even gave up my future and yet how does she treat me? I finally understood that certain things cannot be forced.

Welcome to LIFE man....

The more I gave in, the more hurt I have in return. Deep inside, I know I really need her...I can't let go.

You NEED her? You NEEDED her...? Can't let go? You don't have a CHOICE? Just like when someone's dead, you can carry on to hold on to his/her body... But that's not gonna retrieve her....

Unless some 'miracles' happen (but don't count on it..), take your life as it is now... I'll advise you to pick things up as an experience and just carry on with your life...?