Wat should i do....
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My boyfriend and i have been together for 3 months. Whenever, i flew out, i feel a sense of emptiness and loneliness. I have drinking habit, and can't control my limits. My boyfriend had been kind of worried that i'll be drunk when he's not around. I told him before i won;t get drunk without him around. But alas, i failed to deliver what i promised. I got dead drunk when i'm overseas. He got worried, keep calling me on my handphone. I was drunk and behaving unreasonably. I forgot what i had said, i only remembered i can't even talk properly, and i'm crying at the same time talking to him. I remembered saying something about breaking up.
When i'm sober the next morning, i recalled parts of the last night. I felt so regretful. I smsed him, telling him i'm sorry for the hurt i inflicted on him and for throwing a nonsensical temper. I even made up my mind to quit drinking. He replied, but he doesn't want to talk about it yet. He doesn't want to talk with me over the phone. I felt so foolish. I admit i went drinking was to gain some attention from him. Cause i was spiteful. Before he went Zouk that night, he knew i was feeling lonely again, and he asked if i wanted him to stay at home and chat with me. I said no... that he should carry on with his plans. I don't want to be a spoiler. So he went. While he's there, i smsed him, asking him how's zouk. He replied briefly.. saying he'll sms me later. Acting like a poilt brat, i went drinking, hoping to get some of his attention back, but i overdid it.
I was drunk.
And now, i think back abt it, i feel like giving myself a tight slap. He's a good bf, but i'm the lousiest gf. I admit my mistake and am sincerely hoping to make amends by quit drinking. But he doesn't want to talk to me yet. He says he's nt angry, just disappointed and sad. He says i dun have to quit drinking, i just dunno where my limits are n its not about drinking. There's more to it. This sentence makes me confused and sad at the same time. I'm afraid i'll lose him forever.... I know i deserve it but i really want to salvage this... what am i going to do? -
If he's understanding he'll be willing to listen to you.
If you're understanding, you should get a grip on your life and start making amendments. Don't think, don't procrastinate. Make changes. Do them. Talk is cheap. -
He said he got cheated by his gf big time. It left a scary scar in him and the way i reacted makes him feels like it's all coming back....
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oh great, your guy is insecure
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He's insecure because i did something awful...
but i felt he's carrying the emotional baggage over... and i felt unfair -
Talk to him. Sincerely apologised for what has transcended, then talk slowly about reparations that you will make up. And make sure you're not talking about it only.Originally posted by shirurinu:He said he got cheated by his gf big time. It left a scary scar in him and the way i reacted makes him feels like it's all coming back....
It doesn't make sense to him if he decide to trust you all the time and you break his trust all the time. He will definitely need time to understand you, and you have to slowly convince him and don't touch the drink again if you're not able to hold your liquor.
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I did.. and i'm sincere in quitting the habit.. He said he's confused.. he needed time. Then he started to sound quite cold.. like just toking to a normal friend. I know i had to be patient.. but i'm confused now also.. what does he means that he needs time...Originally posted by Otingocni:Talk to him. Sincerely apologised for what has transcended, then talk slowly about reparations that you will make up. And make sure you're not talking about it only.
It doesn't make sense to him if he decide to trust you all the time and you break his trust all the time. He will definitely need time to understand you, and you have to slowly convince him and don't touch the drink again if you're not able to hold your liquor.
When i asked him, are u confused about carrying on this relationship. He said he dunno. -
Love is not like a machine. There is no handbook or guide to really help you. Human are not machines, there is no way to know what a person wants or thinks he wants.Originally posted by shirurinu:I did.. and i'm sincere in quitting the habit.. He said he's confused.. he needed time. Then he started to sound quite cold.. like just toking to a normal friend. I know i had to be patient.. but i'm confused now also.. what does he means that he needs time...
When i asked him, are u confused about carrying on this relationship. He said he dunno.
Maybe you should respect him and give him breathing space, let him think about it.
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apologize to him lor, then go c a doc....
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Originally posted by BrUtUs:apologize to him lor, then go c a doc....
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Okay girl. What I'm gonna say may not be what you really expect to hear or accept. But I'm just doing my part here as an online friend to all of you guyz to help out the best I can. Moreover, this is also for your own good.Originally posted by shirurinu:My boyfriend and i have been together for 3 months. Whenever, i flew out, i feel a sense of emptiness and loneliness. I have drinking habit, and can't control my limits. My boyfriend had been kind of worried that i'll be drunk when he's not around. I told him before i won;t get drunk without him around. But alas, i failed to deliver what i promised. I got dead drunk when i'm overseas. He got worried, keep calling me on my handphone. I was drunk and behaving unreasonably. I forgot what i had said, i only remembered i can't even talk properly, and i'm crying at the same time talking to him. I remembered saying something about breaking up.
When i'm sober the next morning, i recalled parts of the last night. I felt so regretful. I smsed him, telling him i'm sorry for the hurt i inflicted on him and for throwing a nonsensical temper. I even made up my mind to quit drinking. He replied, but he doesn't want to talk about it yet. He doesn't want to talk with me over the phone. I felt so foolish. I admit i went drinking was to gain some attention from him. Cause i was spiteful. Before he went Zouk that night, he knew i was feeling lonely again, and he asked if i wanted him to stay at home and chat with me. I said no... that he should carry on with his plans. I don't want to be a spoiler. So he went. While he's there, i smsed him, asking him how's zouk. He replied briefly.. saying he'll sms me later. Acting like a poilt brat, i went drinking, hoping to get some of his attention back, but i overdid it.
I was drunk.
And now, i think back abt it, i feel like giving myself a tight slap. He's a good bf, but i'm the lousiest gf. I admit my mistake and am sincerely hoping to make amends by quit drinking. But he doesn't want to talk to me yet. He says he's nt angry, just disappointed and sad. He says i dun have to quit drinking, i just dunno where my limits are n its not about drinking. There's more to it. This sentence makes me confused and sad at the same time. I'm afraid i'll lose him forever.... I know i deserve it but i really want to salvage this... what am i going to do?
Now, this is what you said -He says he's nt angry, just disappointed and sad. He says i dun have to quit drinking, i just dunno where my limits are n its not about drinking. There's more to it.
Indeed! He's disappointed in you. Now, if you ask me why? Simple.
1) You are an alcoholic. If you don't start making ur own decision to limit ur drinking habits, you'll always be disappointed in yourself. Excess drinking makes ur mind messy, and in turn reflects badly on ur image to others. This is one point u have to change.
2) You r still immature. Judging from the way u long to get ur bf's attention. Not only are u immature, u are terribly insecure. You have had to find a way to improve on ur character and self-image. Go get a life as some would say.
3) You are lonely. This is the killer personality that kills all Boy-Girl Relationships. If you are lonely, please, don't find a mate and hurt him in the long run. I suggest you make some worthy friends whom you can turn to and mingle with. Loneliness is the fruit of insecurity. Never let loneliness rule you!
4) Learn to be discipline enough to keep your promises. If you break your promises, how would u expect the other party to trust u easily again? Promises are meant to be kept, and don't make foolish promises that u can't keep! Remember, when u love someone, he deserves ur sincerity.
Well, you may find my words a little harsh, but I really hope you would reflect it through and come to your final decision to change. This is so much I can do for you for now.
Choice is yours. "Change" or "Remain where you are". This is YOUR LIFE!!!
yours sincerely,
S.H.I.N. -
Irregardless of what happens between you and your bf... Quit drinking.. It's always a WISE CHOICE...Originally posted by shirurinu:He's insecure because i did something awful...
but i felt he's carrying the emotional baggage over... and i felt unfair
The emotional baggage... Not completely fair but you also can't totally blame him... You put up a piece of his 'imagination', he comes up with the other...
My personal advice is,
1. Start by quitting the drinks.
2. Work on being a better gf.
3. Is travelling overseas (often?) creating a problem for both of you? If it so, take a note on and and try to work something (perhaps something relatively simple to follow but effective)?