Need Advice :( ??
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hey guys...i would like to hear your views on my problem. I do hope you guys be patient with what i'm gonna say
. I'm currently interested in one of my close female frenzs, but sadly she's attached. Couple of wks ago, I told her about how i feel after 6 mths of bottling my feelings up. Intially, i wasn't really expecting anything by telling her the truth but to actually make feel me better and move on since she has a bf. However after i have told her the truth, she would call me everyday and we somehow grew closer. But i oso realise that this isn't getting anywhere. Hence, i asked for her opinion later on, she told me that she's isn't the type who would get into relationship without knowing the person for a long time. ( apparently, we know each other for abt a yr n i like her abt 6 mths ago) haizz...i realise that all she wants frm the start is attention rite ?? Recently, she only calls me when she needs someone to confide in her problems. She hardly asked anything about me like how i have doing but all she mentioned was what problems she facing n how she has been doing.
Well, another pt to add is that she has all along been keeping her options open though she's with her bf. She purposely refused to tell other ppl that she's attached for self reasons. well, guys what opinions do u have ? -
She's not a good girl.
But that's just me.
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haha...hey i think so too, "needles". i guess i was blinded by my affection her then. I failed to understand her well and ended up hurting myself. Actually she's pretty good as a frenz lar. Just that she's just too attention seeking ( she herself admits so) and probably too selfish, do you guys think so? well, i tried not to have any negative feelings about her intially because it would seem i'm being petty after rejection, but somehow, i began to analyse the situation and realise perhaps i have been made used by her whenever she needs attention
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Some people are just like that.
Anyway,
any girl that doesn't acknowledge her relationship with her current bf, just so she could leave herself open to better 'opportunities', isn't worthy.
And I believe many are guilty of this.
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I'll not love my gf if she doesn't acknowledge her relationship with me.. What's the point of loving her so much when she's still keeping herself l open to better opportunities..
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SHE cheated on her bf.
YOU are a selfish brat for going after her knowing she has a bf.
you two deserve each other. -
she sounds like my ex crush. except that I am a girl and my ex crush is a guy. he only came to me when he needs help with his problem, well he still does now, but it is better when dealing with people like this, to keep your hopes and expectations as low as possible. It is better if both of you can remain as frens.Originally posted by joai28:hey guys...i would like to hear your views on my problem. I do hope you guys be patient with what i'm gonna say. I'm currently interested in one of my close female frenzs, but sadly she's attached. Couple of wks ago, I told her about how i feel after 6 mths of bottling my feelings up. Intially, i wasn't really expecting anything by telling her the truth but to actually make feel me better and move on since she has a bf. However after i have told her the truth, she would call me everyday and we somehow grew closer. But i oso realise that this isn't getting anywhere. Hence, i asked for her opinion later on, she told me that she's isn't the type who would get into relationship without knowing the person for a long time. ( apparently, we know each other for abt a yr n i like her abt 6 mths ago) haizz...i realise that all she wants frm the start is attention rite ?? Recently, she only calls me when she needs someone to confide in her problems. She hardly asked anything about me like how i have doing but all she mentioned was what problems she facing n how she has been doing.
Well, another pt to add is that she has all along been keeping her options open though she's with her bf. She purposely refused to tell other ppl that she's attached for self reasons. well, guys what opinions do u have ?
i.c.y -
I think she's great. In this era, this day,
Loyalty does not equate to a good marriage.
Thus, she gave herself options and choices.
My applause.
Sorry guys, you guys are always leaving your options open, so why not? -
nbzzz....both of you are make for one another.......be together and dump one another after
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I would say to forget abt this gal.
Seriously if she can go around telling pple she is not attached or doesn't disclose it. She can also do it to u if u are attached to her. Make sense?
End up, there won't be any trust in the r/s. -
If you don't mind your life being put on hold everytime she has a problem
If you enjoy the girl treating you as a shoulder for her to cry on
And you also don't mind wasting a couple of years with no future perhaps
And you also don't mind being used
You're the best judge of how you wanna spend your time and make of your life. Be careful with people who play with your heart.
I don't advice on putting up with people who play hearts. -
harsh, baby...harsh. But true.Originally posted by Fuqua:SHE cheated on her bf.
YOU are a selfish brat for going after her knowing she has a bf.
you two deserve each other. -
Well.. There are many kinds of people in this world.. What opinions do you wish to know.. i believe you already have the answers yourself.. but you jus wanna make sure whether you're making the right move anot.. I will suggest that you both stay as friends better than as an item...Originally posted by joai28:hey guys...i would like to hear your views on my problem. I do hope you guys be patient with what i'm gonna say. I'm currently interested in one of my close female frenzs, but sadly she's attached. Couple of wks ago, I told her about how i feel after 6 mths of bottling my feelings up. Intially, i wasn't really expecting anything by telling her the truth but to actually make feel me better and move on since she has a bf. However after i have told her the truth, she would call me everyday and we somehow grew closer. But i oso realise that this isn't getting anywhere. Hence, i asked for her opinion later on, she told me that she's isn't the type who would get into relationship without knowing the person for a long time. ( apparently, we know each other for abt a yr n i like her abt 6 mths ago) haizz...i realise that all she wants frm the start is attention rite ?? Recently, she only calls me when she needs someone to confide in her problems. She hardly asked anything about me like how i have doing but all she mentioned was what problems she facing n how she has been doing.
Well, another pt to add is that she has all along been keeping her options open though she's with her bf. She purposely refused to tell other ppl that she's attached for self reasons. well, guys what opinions do u have ?
She knows how you feel towards her.. To say it bluntly.. she's taking you for granted.. She likes to be in the centre of attraction of everyone.. That includes you too! She likes being loved by people.. and get all the care and concerns from people too.. Like what you mentioned.. she's a attention seeker.. what is the reason of her refusing to tell anyone about her relationship?? Is it really that awful or bad?? If she were to be with you.. would you also experience such things too.. Since you know how she's like.. If you really wanna be with her.. you have to withstand her doings.. llike what she did to her bf... and to you..
Stay as friends would be the best choice for you both.. They only look for you for a reason.. cos she knows that you definitely will not reject her in any ways.. Cos reason simple.. You like her!
Cheers.. -
Such kind of girl doesn't deserve your love. Go ...go to someone else.
The facts are already posted b4. How can some1 be so vain. Already attached still deny.. what is she up for ? u say
If u now "pa-tor" with her then another girl ask u attach? U said "no haven't"...Then what do you think you heart is telling you?
haha...
No result one lah... forever you are looking... -
well.. i can understand y she did it. People always wanted to be with the best. Mayb she did love her bf, but felt he wasn't the one. So she wanted to keep her options open. When she found someone whom she really felt he's the one, she will not keep a lookout anymore.
my 2 cents worth... coz it's my own experience -
well if since she call u, talk to her lor... tink shes wan to do some flirting... oso keep ur options open...Originally posted by joai28:hey guys...i would like to hear your views on my problem. I do hope you guys be patient with what i'm gonna say. I'm currently interested in one of my close female frenzs, but sadly she's attached. Couple of wks ago, I told her about how i feel after 6 mths of bottling my feelings up. Intially, i wasn't really expecting anything by telling her the truth but to actually make feel me better and move on since she has a bf. However after i have told her the truth, she would call me everyday and we somehow grew closer. But i oso realise that this isn't getting anywhere. Hence, i asked for her opinion later on, she told me that she's isn't the type who would get into relationship without knowing the person for a long time. ( apparently, we know each other for abt a yr n i like her abt 6 mths ago) haizz...i realise that all she wants frm the start is attention rite ?? Recently, she only calls me when she needs someone to confide in her problems. She hardly asked anything about me like how i have doing but all she mentioned was what problems she facing n how she has been doing.
Well, another pt to add is that she has all along been keeping her options open though she's with her bf. She purposely refused to tell other ppl that she's attached for self reasons. well, guys what opinions do u have ? -
If you want her, expect to wait long long (> 8 years) before any hope of marriage. Also, even if she agrees to be with you as gf, expect that she may still break up with you if she finds a better option.
Is that what you want? -
I don't think she's taking her relationship seriously for now.
That's why she's not declaring her status, and looking out for better guys.
Quite a lot of people do it, they look for a boyfriend, or may already be in a relationship, but at the same time, they're looking for a wife/husband.
Some people who are good boyfriend/girlfriend material may not be a good husband/wife.
What advice can i give at this stage?
Depending on whether you want to endure the emotional turmoil that will continue to take place for some time.. you could:
1) Prove yourself to be the alpha male, and BE that husband material.
2) Give up and look for another girl
There are many other options too, but i'm just listing a few. Hope you can clear your mind soon~ -
Friend is good. Until she shows that she's not suitable for it, then forget the whole thing lor...Originally posted by joai28:haha...hey i think so too, "needles". i guess i was blinded by my affection her then. I failed to understand her well and ended up hurting myself. Actually she's pretty good as a frenz lar. Just that she's just too attention seeking ( she herself admits so) and probably too selfish, do you guys think so? well, i tried not to have any negative feelings about her intially because it would seem i'm being petty after rejection, but somehow, i began to analyse the situation and realise perhaps i have been made used by her whenever she needs attention -
ha~ we actually have the same problem. except tt i have yet to tell the ger about my feelings for her... maybe i shall tell her the truth also... but she is definately screwing my life....
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Thanx for the advice guys in fact, i have already started to move on though we r still remaining as close friends. I tried not to let my negative feelings abt her affect our friendship. I can understand why she's opening her options Afterall, she wants to be fair to hereself but on the expense of others. Anyway, i think its kinda contradicting or maybe ironic that to let her know that i'm still ard as a frenz and she can always look for me when she has problems but i dun wanna give her the attention i used to in the past. Just wondering if i'm narrow minded in this matter.
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of cos not... u are just protecting yourself only... wat's more she has attached... u dun really have tt obligation to give her all the attention...
It's easier for me to say... but... whether u can do it or not is another problem... -
My advise to you is just move on in life and find a new chick. You are being controlled by her and is not a good thing. It's like having sex and she's taking the lead. You confessed your feelings to her and *pop* you end up hurting yourself. Now the best thing u could do is to "act" busy when she calls you or sms you. Whenever you are on the phone with her, pretend that you got something to do and have to put her down. ignore her for a week or so. make her miss you. dont call her on valentines day, see if she calls you.
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hey joai,
i'm in the same predicament as you.
the only difference is that i'm still hanging on. hanging on a very slim hope that she may one day accept me.
i know that i should not be a 3rd party. however, she told me that her bf treated her like dirt. she even said that we can be together provided both of us are single.
i tried my best to treat her good. cheer her up when she is sad. do silly things. i even broke up with my gf. everytime i chat with her, my face is smiling, but my heart is bleeding.
but up till today...haiz
i know i am silly. i even told myself not to wait for her anymore. haha. juz kidding myself.
so cheer up la. at least u saw light already -
I think that being her listening ear should be all you should do at this stage, knowing she has a bf.
Just friends, and nothing else.