Father's Rights-of-decision for an Infant
-
Im a HK citizen, and PR is Singapore, My husband is a Singaporean. I jus got my PR approved which is about 9 mths ago. That was my 1st attempt, with my husband as a sponsor, whos income is not more than 32,000 anually.
I give birth to a son, he is now 7mths old. I love him more than anything else. He is my courage, with everyday in SG. I got no frens in SG,. Jus me, husband and my son.
I have always try to giving my best to my son. cos i love him. Financially, I cant support my son, partly becos im not working in SG, since my stay in SG for about 1.5 years. So I have been rely on my husband's finance, and i do my part to take care of my son. However, to give the best to my son, I have this thought to apply for HK's Right of Abode (ROA) http://www.immd.gov.hk/ehtml/hksarvepid.htm .
Its easy to apply, probably no need any application fees, or at the most a small sum of money. I always wanted to do this. Because he is infant, it is more eaiser and better to apply early. Its for my son benefits. like free medication. and hopitalisation in HK. Furthermore, when he grows up as a working person, He has a choice to decide where to work or reside.
I discuss this with my husband. He reply to me, "at this moment, we dont need this application yet, there is no hurry. Even if 5 o 10 years time, Its still not too late to apply this ROA"
I was very angry, and breakdown over his reply. Trying to imply that he rules everything. Its make me think that he is selfish, and inflexible in thoughts. The fact is, neither I got intention to keep my son in HK throughout his life, nor thinking that my husband object me from applying.
But does he sound selfish and arrogant? Does he has this rights to decide for my son? OR to restrain me from doing it?
pls advise -
why not be singaporean?
-
Hi Mother of One,
There is actually no issue to this. Why not you wait for a couple more years first. You just gave birth to a baby boy now and what's more importance is the care and love of the new born.
There is actually no need to label your husband as selfish...etc. Are you implying that you have shifted all your love to your baby and no longer love or care as much for your husband? Ask yourself this question?
The baby is a treasure to both of you. You care for the baby and so do your husband. Why create all the unnecessary disturbances at this time? If both parties love the child, why is their a conflict of love on the child?
Take good care of yourself and the baby and continue to love your husband as always.
And if you need any consellors, there is always one avaliable for free in Singapore.
Take care
-
Hello,
I think you and your husband should communicate more with each other and try to understand each other. Since u feel that he is selfish, something is already wrong with the communication. Try to talk to him again. -
Ermmm... if he is as arrogant and selfish as you made him to be... he would not have provided for you to come over as a PR... $32,000 per annum is not much... if he is selfish and arrogant as you say... he could have just dump mother and child in the streets and let you both fend for yourself.
Lady, you could be suffering from post-natal blues... I suggest you fix an appointment with your gyno -
Another thing... kept noticing that you refer your child to "my son" rather than "our son". It really does not abode well for you....
I mean I am making assumptions that he is the biological father. But even he is not, I will think he is not selfish at all, in the fact that he is willing to bring you down her with your son.
You may have your concerns...but perhaps it is wise to give some concerns to your husband as well since he is the sole bread winner.
I suggest that you seek professional medical help -
when you say does he has the right to decide for your son, doesn't it clearly indicate that you are deciding for your son too when you insist on applying. The two of you should have a heart to heart talk instead of blaming one another
-
Try more gentle chats and approaches... Talk slowly over things...Originally posted by young_mother_of_one:Im a HK citizen, and PR is Singapore, My husband is a Singaporean. I jus got my PR approved which is about 9 mths ago. That was my 1st attempt, with my husband as a sponsor, whos income is not more than 32,000 anually.
I give birth to a son, he is now 7mths old. I love him more than anything else. He is my courage, with everyday in SG. I got no frens in SG,. Jus me, husband and my son.
I have always try to giving my best to my son. cos i love him. Financially, I cant support my son, partly becos im not working in SG, since my stay in SG for about 1.5 years. So I have been rely on my husband's finance, and i do my part to take care of my son. However, to give the best to my son, I have this thought to apply for HK's Right of Abode (ROA) http://www.immd.gov.hk/ehtml/hksarvepid.htm .
Its easy to apply, probably no need any application fees, or at the most a small sum of money. I always wanted to do this. Because he is infant, it is more eaiser and better to apply early. Its for my son benefits. like free medication. and hopitalisation in HK. Furthermore, when he grows up as a working person, He has a choice to decide where to work or reside.
I discuss this with my husband. He reply to me, "at this moment, we dont need this application yet, there is no hurry. Even if 5 o 10 years time, Its still not too late to apply this ROA"
I was very angry, and breakdown over his reply. Trying to imply that he rules everything. Its make me think that he is selfish, and inflexible in thoughts. The fact is, neither I got intention to keep my son in HK throughout his life, nor thinking that my husband object me from applying.
But does he sound selfish and arrogant? Does he has this rights to decide for my son? OR to restrain me from doing it?
pls advise -
Get your husband to take time to listen to all options and why you want the ROA. Reassure him. If all fails, get the roa for your son quietly but it will hamper the trust between ur husband and u . Better to have a fire exit just in case Singapore does not pan out well. 2 doors are better than 1 - so that you can run!Originally posted by young_mother_of_one:Im a HK citizen, and PR is Singapore, My husband is a Singaporean. I jus got my PR approved which is about 9 mths ago. That was my 1st attempt, with my husband as a sponsor, whos income is not more than 32,000 anually.
I give birth to a son, he is now 7mths old. I love him more than anything else. He is my courage, with everyday in SG. I got no frens in SG,. Jus me, husband and my son.
I have always try to giving my best to my son. cos i love him. Financially, I cant support my son, partly becos im not working in SG, since my stay in SG for about 1.5 years. So I have been rely on my husband's finance, and i do my part to take care of my son. However, to give the best to my son, I have this thought to apply for HK's Right of Abode (ROA) http://www.immd.gov.hk/ehtml/hksarvepid.htm .
Its easy to apply, probably no need any application fees, or at the most a small sum of money. I always wanted to do this. Because he is infant, it is more eaiser and better to apply early. Its for my son benefits. like free medication. and hopitalisation in HK. Furthermore, when he grows up as a working person, He has a choice to decide where to work or reside.
I discuss this with my husband. He reply to me, "at this moment, we dont need this application yet, there is no hurry. Even if 5 o 10 years time, Its still not too late to apply this ROA"
I was very angry, and breakdown over his reply. Trying to imply that he rules everything. Its make me think that he is selfish, and inflexible in thoughts. The fact is, neither I got intention to keep my son in HK throughout his life, nor thinking that my husband object me from applying.
But does he sound selfish and arrogant? Does he has this rights to decide for my son? OR to restrain me from doing it?
pls advise