marriage
-
hmm..i am working in a law firm rite now.. it's a very nice environment except for the fact that i would suffer from a little depression everytime when i deal wif a divorce case..
just 2 days ago, there come this couple who look v young to me.. the ger was just 25 and the male is 33. they are filing for seperation which gradually proceed to divorce after 3 years..
when i read the file, i realise that just one more day, which means tomorrow(from the day they file for seperation) was their 2 years marriage anniversary..i started to think wat was the reason for their seperation..
both of them were v calmed when signing the papers, silence throughout the whole process..
after that, i realise that they had a quarrel in early Feb. then they started to live seperately.. so the wife filed for divorce.. my colleague who was in charge of the case said that she saw the husband weeping outside the toilet leaning against the wall before signing the papers.. was v sad when i heard that.. she gave him a pat on the shoulder to encourage him but that was all she could do.. the wife insisted to file for divorce although the husband doesnt want to..
cannot recall how many cases of divorce i have dealt with, but really start to ponder.. couples that were married for more than 30 years are also filing for divorce.. wat happened then? mostly it's the guys that commit adultery.. there were even cases where the male commit adultery n still insisted on a divorce when the wife chose to forgive n keep mum abt the whole matter..
wat is the signficance of marriage then? young couples are usually impulsive, but older couples are just the same.. marriage is no longer happily ever after.. it's just like i will be wif u when i need u, when i find someone else, i will give u up.. it's like a game where one will win n one will lose.. so unfair rite?
there is this even more ridiculous one.. this lady called to ask if she can nullify her marriage.. she claim that she hasn't stayed wif her husband n hasn't had a 'chinese banquet' yet.. she had ROM only 6 months.. now she wants to nullify the marrige.. Wat the hell?? there is no such thing as nullify the marriage.. who cares if u had ur chinese dinner already anot! in the law side, once ROM then u are married!~
gosh.. really scary.. if u can really 'happily ever after' ah, i think it's equivalent to striking TOTO a million times...
sorrie for the long long post!~ -
Well...as I always think...nowadays hard to find long lasting marriage...not that dun have but getting lesser and lesser. As people get more and more educated, their sense of responsible towards family is become less and less too. Unlike people in the past...marriage is forever. Marriage bonds the husband and wife till death. But now...no longer the case. People are much more selfish and think only about themselves. They dun even care if they had children or not. They not happy, they divorce...sometimes they never think, can the problem be solved in another way other than divorce? If divorce, what happens to the children? Will the divorce affect the growth of the children? These people can be really selfish and think of only themselves. Some fight for custody of their children, but I'm sure there are some we push the children to each other...both also dun want the custody. Really sad that this is happening.
-
Erm though i wish i could live "happily ever after", but i dun mind to strike TOTO..haha..Originally posted by joanne:hmm..i am working in a law firm rite now.. it's a very nice environment except for the fact that i would suffer from a little depression everytime when i deal wif a divorce case..
just 2 days ago, there come this couple who look v young to me.. the ger was just 25 and the male is 33. they are filing for seperation which gradually proceed to divorce after 3 years..
when i read the file, i realise that just one more day, which means tomorrow(from the day they file for seperation) was their 2 years marriage anniversary..i started to think wat was the reason for their seperation..
both of them were v calmed when signing the papers, silence throughout the whole process..
after that, i realise that they had a quarrel in early Feb. then they started to live seperately.. so the wife filed for divorce.. my colleague who was in charge of the case said that she saw the husband weeping outside the toilet leaning against the wall before signing the papers.. was v sad when i heard that.. she gave him a pat on the shoulder to encourage him but that was all she could do.. the wife insisted to file for divorce although the husband doesnt want to..
cannot recall how many cases of divorce i have dealt with, but really start to ponder.. couples that were married for more than 30 years are also filing for divorce.. wat happened then? mostly it's the guys that commit adultery.. there were even cases where the male commit adultery n still insisted on a divorce when the wife chose to forgive n keep mum abt the whole matter..
wat is the signficance of marriage then? young couples are usually impulsive, but older couples are just the same.. marriage is no longer happily ever after.. it's just like i will be wif u when i need u, when i find someone else, i will give u up.. it's like a game where one will win n one will lose.. so unfair rite?
there is this even more ridiculous one.. this lady called to ask if she can nullify her marriage.. she claim that she hasn't stayed wif her husband n hasn't had a 'chinese banquet' yet.. she had ROM only 6 months.. now she wants to nullify the marrige.. Wat the hell?? there is no such thing as nullify the marriage.. who cares if u had ur chinese dinner already anot! in the law side, once ROM then u are married!~
gosh.. really scary.. if u can really 'happily ever after' ah, i think it's equivalent to striking TOTO a million times...
sorrie for the long long post!~
now damn tight up... =( -
Values have changed. Now, if you not happy, can divorce, so all try try. People know they can afford to choose.
-
it just show how irresponsible they are.Originally posted by Crysania:Values have changed. Now, if you not happy, can divorce, so all try try. People know they can afford to choose. -
That is how people are becoming. And the situation is only going to get worse. Why do I say this? Look at the children nowadays. They so pampered and selfish. At my estate, a lot of families got maids...I see little kids scolding their maids, treating them like dirt...making the maid carry so many things and the poor maid, carrying so many things had to catch up with the child...and the child leh? Run fast fast then, scold the maid say she so slow, ask the maid to walk faster.Originally posted by joanne:it just show how irresponsible they are.
And my friends have seen little kids, around pri 1-2 age, scolding their mothers in public. One of my friend's neighbour will scold her kid for being naughty, then what the kid do? The little gal grabbed her baby brother by the hand and walked out of the house screaming, 'You are not my mother. I dun have a mother like you!'. The children nowadays are becoming more and more ill-mannered.
I give tution to pri sch children...and the children are no longer respectful to teachers even though I'm only tution teacher. I remember I used to be so polite to my tutor and so afraid of them. Now leh? The kids are 'ridding on our heads'. My friend the other day went tution at 7:30. The kid wanna watch tv till 8pm, ask my friend wait, my friend angry, so she told her off...the little gal started screaming and crying and went back to her room and lock herself up...the maid so scared cos she dun dare to go ask her come out..scared kana scolded by the little gal. In the end, the little gal call her mom and say she that night no want tution though next day got exam. My friend was so fed up. She went all the way there and got sent back. The mom didn't even scold her or say her daughter was wrong...even allowed her to do such a thing. What has the world become? I cannot imagine what kind of people these younger generation will become in the future. I think, it'll be worse than now. -
and i've seen pri 1-2 kids shouting vulgarities in public
dont see tat in my time ... -
In economics, we also learnt that humans are selfish by nature. Of cuz according to Adam's Smith Theory of Moral Sentiments, humans stil haf some heart, but the truth is most care abt themselves. They do not haf the heart to care and feel for others. Those who do are a rare lot already. Divorce nowadays is more common. Pple has the knowledge and money to go for divorce. Most can support themselves, no need for a partner to add in to the house income. If not happy, then divorce, they thought.
But what's the use of marriage in the first place if they not happy wif each other? Shouldn't they know each other inside out b4 marriage, and noe they can live wif each other's pros and cons forever? Y only discover that it is not possible after marriage, making both parties unhappy, and pple at ROM work harder? Unfair, isn't it? They juz think that it easier for them, but they haf created work for many others, more problems for many others, etc.
------------------
Thomas Edison definition of genius :
"1% inspiration, 99% perspiration"
************************************
The Eagle
He clasps the crag with hooked hands:
Close to the sun in lonely lands,
Ringed with the azure world, he stands.
The wrinkled sea beneath him crawls;
He watches from his mountain walls,
And like a thunderbolt he falls.
************************************ -
You mean you don't know that divorce rates are increasing in Singapore, pple just married for the sake of liking each other and not considering the fact that they will be living together and spending their troubles and woes with their life partner.Originally posted by joanne:it just show how irresponsible they are.
------------------
Hope to b your frd forever, Mike signing off -
marriage not necessary mean u have found the right one..
some married in a haste..resulting in divorce..
some couples were bery loving b4 marriage...but after marriage and living under one roof...they start to find the faults in each other
there are many circumstances leading to unhappy marriages...
of cos..there are happy couples who are bery contented eben without the marriage cert..
life is full of uncertainties
------------------
~~Evi|Ger~~
more affectionately known as...
tHe eXtrA-oRdiNaRy eCCenTriC PaRanOid BiTch wiF thE PaiZaBor aTTiTudE
(who is a Prata-natic...and a loyal supporter of Quickly and Qoo~)
A hiaK~ is a sarcastic laugh
***It's a sin to be unobjective*** -
Just wanna say, got marriage then got break up. it's just a part of life, if u find u cannot stay your partner after u have tried all ways to save the marriage then u have to let go.
nothing in this world stays the same forever
everything changes wif time -
hunter ...
-
not that i dunno.. but that i just dun understand y can't they gif each other a chance to salvage the marriage just like the case i mentioned above.. the ger doesnt even want to speak to the guy n decided to file for divorce already.. u mean this is the rite way?? dun like then divorce?? i am glad that there is no kids to the marriage if not the person who will suffer eventually is the kid!Originally posted by mikegk_76:You mean you don't know that divorce rates are increasing in Singapore, pple just married for the sake of liking each other and not considering the fact that they will be living together and spending their troubles and woes with their life partner.
-
WHAT DO YOU KNOW?Originally posted by Crysania:Values have changed. Now, if you not happy, can divorce, so all try try. People know they can afford to choose. -
WHAT DO YOU KNOW?Originally posted by eagle:But what's the use of marriage in the first place if they not happy wif each other? Shouldn't they know each other inside out b4 marriage, and noe they can live wif each other's pros and cons forever? Y only discover that it is not possible after marriage, making both parties unhappy, and pple at ROM work harder? Unfair, isn't it? They juz think that it easier for them, but they haf created work for many others, more problems for many others, etc. -
WHAT DO YOU KNOW?Originally posted by mikegk_76:You mean you don't know that divorce rates are increasing in Singapore, pple just married for the sake of liking each other and not considering the fact that they will be living together and spending their troubles and woes with their life partner. -
There are NO SECURED rules in life... Just like FireIce have suggested, Life works on the PRINCIPLE of UNCERTAINTY....
There are MENTALITY and BELIEFS that life SHOULD go this way and that... But out of the decisions of SHOULD & SHOULD NOT, the ULTIMATE ANSWERS are DOs and DON'Ts....
WHY do people have to do this and that...? Try sailing in their shoes... Perhaps you can enjoy the scenery...? OR just see the PICTURE...?
"I want to be with you FOREVER... I want you to be ALL in my life... To give EVERYTHING UP for you... Through THICK and THIN... I would sacrifice my life for you.... Give me a chance... Give me a chance..." -
To : Old man
yeah.....?
wat isit ? -
i can see that sg couples are going the western way... he de lai qu, bu he ju san
------------------
-_-'' -
We are indeed drifting towards the West where marriage is concerned. My colleagues in the US and European offices do not have spouses. They have partners and children. Some children from him, some from her, and others from dunno where.
Abandoning a spouse, or even being abandoned, is a shame you almost cannot bear in recent past Asia. But we have grown used to words like "divorcee" and "single parent" now.
How shall we go forward then ? As I type this post my heart is still aching from a severe quarrel with my wife. The second in this week. It was so bad I took a walk to the car park and wept in car privately so that my children will not see.
I asked God why my marriage does not look as rosy as those of my friends. But we hang on. Marriage is an institution. If you cannot change your spouse (as we all try to do all the time), we change ourselves a little more first. Learn a little humility, a little more respect for the other person.
It is hard. But never walk away. You walk out of one marriage, you will walk out of another. But if you try hard enough, long enough, he or she will notice and be touched.
No one lives happily ever after without trying very hard.
[This message has been edited by kentan (edited 07 March 2002).] -
Perhaps you shouldn't always compare your marriage to the LOVELY couples like a typical human's mind...? Perhaps you should compare your marriage with the more MISFORTUNATE ones...?Originally posted by kentan:I asked God why my marriage does not look as rosy as those of my friends. But we hang on. Marriage is an institution. If you cannot change your spouse (as we all try to do all the time), we change ourselves a little more first. Learn a little humility, a little more respect for the other person.
It is hard. But never walk away. You walk out of one marriage, you will walk out of another. But if you try hard enough, long enough, he or she will notice and be touched.
No one lives happily ever after without trying very hard.
[This message has been edited by kentan (edited 07 March 2002).]
As much as I would like to agree that people's mentality for marriage might be changing, but this is the NEW MILLENNIUM... It's NO EXCUSE for one to be AN ASSHOLE, but you have to admit that the world is constantly evolving.... IF such a CONCEPT don't have its PROs or reason(s) it would not exist in the 1st place....?
No doubt in a marriage, TRYING is VERY IMPORTANT... Just like in ANY BGR... But people learn to THINK, and people learn to WEIGH... LOVE is NOT about weighing.. But sometimes LOVE decays.... Is it all that worth it when your other partner is laughing at you like you're a fool? What's LOVE? What's rationality....?
....... -
If there were no quarrels or disagreements in a realtionship, one of them is unnecessary.
If you dun quarrel while you were in a relationship(before you get married), you may not be able to take it when you do quarrel in the marriage...
So maybe everyone shld argue more before they get hitched. -
You might not want to put marriage as the first piority in life... ???
------------------
I awake to see that no one is free,
We're all fugitives,
Look at the way with it.
Down here, I cannot sleep from fear no.