ABSTAIN FROM INTERCOURSE?
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Have known my gf for more than a year nw. We are in the mid 20s. We developed from heavy petting to one day, had intercourse. It was her first and the moment we tried, she felt sharp pain. I know it's natural as it was her first. But even after a few times, it was still painful to her. She was so tensed up even though we were relaxed during foreplay before intercourse. It seems she's very stressed.
After a while, she told me not to try anymore as she's too scared. We were very relaxed during foreplay and it's only when intercourse, she's so tense up. I had 'counselled' her before, but to no avail. Anyway, since she is so scared, I decided to respect her and abstain from intercourse totally.
Have the following questions to enquire:
a) When I had intercourse with my ex before, I was also her 1st. During the first two times of intercourse, she felt pain. But after that, it was 'smooth sailing'. However for my current gf, even after a few times, she felt so much pain even though we were well 'lubricated'. Is it because of her size, as she is quite small size?
b) I know I have to respect her wishes to abstain from intercourse, as i don't want to hurt her. But to be frank, as a guy, I have my own urges and sometimes I find it hard to control. Just like to know, whether anyone here has been a couple but never had intercourse with his gf during the relationship? How can you control? I know love not only encompass the physical self..but to be frank, how to ccntrol the urge then?
Thanks! Hope to receive frank and sincere views.
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Hehe, dumb idiots like you must have went into the wrong hole no wonder it hurts so much..
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She could have a condition
should see doctor
there a condition whereby the female privates is very tight making intercourse too painful -
see a doctor this is quite a common problem just have to go real slow with more lube.
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ok, at least have some respect to her decision... a) cant help on that, go c a doc mayb when u moving towards marriage, no need to rush now right...? b) how to control? either u diy or both of u help each other do it..... but talk to her about it... be frank la...Originally posted by Guru78:Have known my gf for more than a year nw. We are in the mid 20s. We developed from heavy petting to one day, had intercourse. It was her first and the moment we tried, she felt sharp pain. I know it's natural as it was her first. But even after a few times, it was still painful to her. She was so tensed up even though we were relaxed during foreplay before intercourse. It seems she's very stressed.
After a while, she told me not to try anymore as she's too scared. We were very relaxed during foreplay and it's only when intercourse, she's so tense up. I had 'counselled' her before, but to no avail. Anyway, since she is so scared, I decided to respect her and abstain from intercourse totally.
Have the following questions to enquire:
a) When I had intercourse with my ex before, I was also her 1st. During the first two times of intercourse, she felt pain. But after that, it was 'smooth sailing'. However for my current gf, even after a few times, she felt so much pain even though we were well 'lubricated'. Is it because of her size, as she is quite small size?
b) I know I have to respect her wishes to abstain from intercourse, as i don't want to hurt her. But to be frank, as a guy, I have my own urges and sometimes I find it hard to control. Just like to know, whether anyone here has been a couple but never had intercourse with his gf during the relationship? How can you control? I know love not only encompass the physical self..but to be frank, how to ccntrol the urge then?
Thanks! Hope to receive frank and sincere views. -
Originally posted by Guru78:Have known my gf for more than a year nw. We are in the mid 20s. We developed from heavy petting to one day, had intercourse. It was her first and the moment we tried, she felt sharp pain. I know it's natural as it was her first. But even after a few times, it was still painful to her. She was so tensed up even though we were relaxed during foreplay before intercourse. It seems she's very stressed.
After a while, she told me not to try anymore as she's too scared. We were very relaxed during foreplay and it's only when intercourse, she's so tense up. I had 'counselled' her before, but to no avail. Anyway, since she is so scared, I decided to respect her and abstain from intercourse totally.
Have the following questions to enquire:
a) When I had intercourse with my ex before, I was also her 1st. During the first two times of intercourse, she felt pain. But after that, it was 'smooth sailing'. However for my current gf, even after a few times, she felt so much pain even though we were well 'lubricated'. Is it because of her size, as she is quite small size?
b) I know I have to respect her wishes to abstain from intercourse, as i don't want to hurt her. But to be frank, as a guy, I have my own urges and sometimes I find it hard to control. Just like to know, whether anyone here has been a couple but never had intercourse with his gf during the relationship? How can you control? I know love not only encompass the physical self..but to be frank, how to ccntrol the urge then?
Thanks! Hope to receive frank and sincere views.
imagine one guy ram your as s and u feel shiok , den another ramp ur as s and u feel pain. den always remember that guy who gave u a bad ramp pain as s and u will know the solution to your problem. why the guys ramp u because as your frens they need to releive stress orso since chi cken need to pay and not clean, gal frens must respect and they need to relieve their tension. as 4 ur gf, let me conole her for u.
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Originally posted by Guru78:Have known my gf for more than a year nw. We are in the mid 20s. We developed from heavy petting to one day, had intercourse. It was her first and the moment we tried, she felt sharp pain. I know it's natural as it was her first. But even after a few times, it was still painful to her. She was so tensed up even though we were relaxed during foreplay before intercourse. It seems she's very stressed.
After a while, she told me not to try anymore as she's too scared. We were very relaxed during foreplay and it's only when intercourse, she's so tense up. I had 'counselled' her before, but to no avail. Anyway, since she is so scared, I decided to respect her and abstain from intercourse totally.
Have the following questions to enquire:
a) When I had intercourse with my ex before, I was also her 1st. During the first two times of intercourse, she felt pain. But after that, it was 'smooth sailing'. However for my current gf, even after a few times, she felt so much pain even though we were well 'lubricated'. Is it because of her size, as she is quite small size?
b) I know I have to respect her wishes to abstain from intercourse, as i don't want to hurt her. But to be frank, as a guy, I have my own urges and sometimes I find it hard to control. Just like to know, whether anyone here has been a couple but never had intercourse with his gf during the relationship? How can you control? I know love not only encompass the physical self..but to be frank, how to ccntrol the urge then?
Thanks! Hope to receive frank and sincere views.
She could be suffering from Vaginismus. A common thingy that strikes in woman especially if she was brought up in a strict asian environment that input negative message about sex when she was young. Or simply she has some hidden psychological fear about making love.
Regardless, to answer your question: yes. I have a good friend who abstain completely.
Cheers -
well, from the start of the r/s we agreed on a "no sex" policy. it wasn't hard to abstain if we both knew where the line was drawnOriginally posted by Guru78:b) I know I have to respect her wishes to abstain from intercourse, as i don't want to hurt her. But to be frank, as a guy, I have my own urges and sometimes I find it hard to control. Just like to know, whether anyone here has been a couple but never had intercourse with his gf during the relationship? How can you control? I know love not only encompass the physical self..but to be frank, how to ccntrol the urge then?
Thanks! Hope to receive frank and sincere views. -
U RE THE MOST SELF CONFESS J*EK, BAS*ARD THAT EVER APPEAR ON THIS FORUM...THIS IS THE MOST SINCERE COMMENT GIVEN BY ME SO FAR
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a) No.Originally posted by Guru78:Have known my gf for more than a year nw. We are in the mid 20s. We developed from heavy petting to one day, had intercourse. It was her first and the moment we tried, she felt sharp pain. I know it's natural as it was her first. But even after a few times, it was still painful to her. She was so tensed up even though we were relaxed during foreplay before intercourse. It seems she's very stressed.
After a while, she told me not to try anymore as she's too scared. We were very relaxed during foreplay and it's only when intercourse, she's so tense up. I had 'counselled' her before, but to no avail. Anyway, since she is so scared, I decided to respect her and abstain from intercourse totally.
Have the following questions to enquire:
a) When I had intercourse with my ex before, I was also her 1st. During the first two times of intercourse, she felt pain. But after that, it was 'smooth sailing'. However for my current gf, even after a few times, she felt so much pain even though we were well 'lubricated'. Is it because of her size, as she is quite small size?
b) I know I have to respect her wishes to abstain from intercourse, as i don't want to hurt her. But to be frank, as a guy, I have my own urges and sometimes I find it hard to control. Just like to know, whether anyone here has been a couple but never had intercourse with his gf during the relationship? How can you control? I know love not only encompass the physical self..but to be frank, how to ccntrol the urge then?
Thanks! Hope to receive frank and sincere views.
b) DIY. -
U've just tell us wat an ArSe u r,... I believe u hitch up w a girl each time just for the hole.
Just go D.I.Y. I can help u realise wat an ass u can be by doing tt...
Good Luck, dun shrink the testerone factory... Cool!! -
Seems like some idiots just enjoy throwing their weight around and vehemently express their houlier-than-thou attitudes.
It's his Life, so unless you have a legal claim to it, don't show your aggression.
Alright, back to the topic. Your girl might be having some psychological tense-ups, which would in turn cause her to feel panicky, that there's something wrong with sexual intercourse. Besides, you guys aren't married right? Premarital sex in her opinion might be something negative, but she's giving in to you as well, she likes/loves you.
Talk to her about the process, i.e. when/how does it hurt, what do you think you can do to lessen her pain and increase her enjoyment, et cetera. Don't just focus on the physical aspect, but concentrate on the feelings as well. Communication is the key to a wonderous physical and emotional relationship between a couple.
Hope this helps.
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Hey Guru78,
why do girls always feel the pain??? How big is ya d...k?
And come on, if that is the case, she still have hands and so do you.... you just got to wait, that's all!!!! -
The solution is to get married.
Since u are in your 20s, u should act responsible & start making plans to get hitched. Then u don't have to abstain from sex.
The stress of premarital sex might be the cause of her pain.
After marriage, if she still experience pain, then bring her to a gynae for checkup.