He wun love you if he does not,ever
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It was in 2002 that i met Y .The me then was unambitious, overly laid back and the kind who had no goals..jus living one day at a day type.He was the exact opposite.Intelligent,very soft spoken and gentle.A executive with a great future.But it was not til the third date til i fell for him.Our relationship was very intense.Y was very very affectionate and sweet.He was perfect.
About two to three weeks into our relationship,he started becoming distant.I was too afraid to ask y til we stopped all contact.Then when i could not stand it anymore,i called him.His reply was that there was just something lacking in our relationship but he just did not know what exactly.And that he felt his feelings for me were just not strong enough.By then i was crying and pleading for one more try.After a long talk,he agreed.So everything seemed fine for awhile...We even went to Genting( i think he would agree too:We had the time of our lives)He was still sweet but no longer very affectionate.But i really felt he was really trying hard to accept me.On our second day back in S'pore,he hid a diamond bracelet in his car which he gave to me later rather shyly
.Around that same period of time,he gave up his stable job to start a small business with a friend.No more shirt,pants and ties.No more 9-6 comfy airconditioned job.Instead a supplies 'uncle' job carrying heavy cartons,wearing slippers ,working 5am to around 10pm!!! However, both of us could not avoid the fact that somethings were missing.Especially after i saw the old letters his ex(es) had given him,and those he had given them(they had returned them to him).Those letters showed another side of Y.How he was when he did love someone,how a giver rather than taker he was.He was capable of loving.Those letters were like a wake up call for me.The truth was he did not love me.
Soon after seeing those letters,i became very insecure.This led to our first quarrel.In a moment of rebell,i told him i would agree to a break-up.Very surprisingly,he hugged me and told me no,he would try his best to love me.In our fights that followed on later,our fights would be always about he telling me he had tried his best but we had to end.Then the fight would always end with me kneeling on the floor asking for yet another try.It would end with his heart softening.The soft spoken,gentle man was no longer there.I had pushed him to the limits,forcing him to love me.
Once he kicked me in my stomach til i flew far away,cos i was clinging to his legs in an attempt to retain him.For sometime,i was staying at his place.Despite all,we were just like any normal couple.holding hands,watching movies.One thing both he and i would agree is the fact that with or without love,we were very very close.We were like perfect soulmates if not for the fact that he did not love me.He once told me:"How i wish i did love you.''I never did give up then,hoping that one day he would.I was his secretary,his best friend.
This seemingly hopeless relationship dragged on til 2003.After a million i-dun-luv-u(s) from him i still could not let go.Til the day a fight so big erupted,he in turn begged me to let go.So we could both live again.I realised how selfish i had been.While we were together,i had given unconditionately.And he had cared for me endlessly,knowing he could not repay me with his love.I had changed a gentle man into a man into a man who could turn vulgar and a little violent.With the support of friends,i let go.I was really over him,so i thought...............
Around 6 months after we broke up,some how we met up again.I had met someone i quite liked at that time.Y started calling me very often and he was different to me.The way he treated me felt like the way i hoped he would in the past.He told me he had a galfriend of about 2 weeks,that really really was a galfriend in name only.I knew they saw each other and spoke very rarely.They were really nothing.We became closer and closer and my feelings once again grew again...
He told me he missed our past.I He felt something for me really this time,but to give him time to break off his other so called relationship.I was so in love again.I mean, he was so so sure of his un-love to me the first time.If he can tell me this later,surely its true cos its after alot of serious thought???I thought lucky me,heaven is fair after all.So i happily continued to be by his side,supporting him,doing all i could while waiting for him to settle the other woman.
Haha..so i waited n waited til he told me (again):"i broke off with her.But sorry,i realised that i really dun luv you.sorry.''
how would u feel in my position?.Around this time,he had a serious offence pending.His business faced financial difficulties.I was so worried and felt the only way was to be hostess. I was selected but(luckily?) was kicked out by the 1st customer cos he said i was too decently dressed like a nun!I ran out and was thinking what had i degraded me to.So i worked in a nightspot trying to save some $ in case he needed it.
Y soon got a letter to inform him of his re-service soon.His business partner had longed been out of the business.So he had for a long time been doing everything by himself.So it was decided that i would help me,and also hire a driver cos i could not drive.He said he would give us a try after he settled his things.Anyway,He did not have the time to teach me his business..From 6am to 11pm,i worked like hell.Carrying goods heavier than me.I was 44kg,the goods could be as heavy as 60kg.I told myself i had to hold on.
Besides the physical torture,there was mental torture.Cos i had no experience at all,alot of things were fxxxed up.Over the phone,Y would scold me sometimes.When the driver did not turn up one morning,i really wanted to end my life.Y's re-service was 2 weeks.After a few days,a lady called(Y had diverted all calls to my phone).Without me even asking,she said she was his gf rudely and hanged up.I was like,feeling so dumb..I had been hanging on cos of the chance he promised.....But i put it aside cos there was no time to think about these.
2 weeks later,he was out of camp.I was so hopeful u would show some appreciation by at least bringing me for a movie.But no,he said he was tired.So i went out with my friends instead.We were going to a night-spot and imagined my hurt when i saw his car in the car park,at 3am.......All these time there had been traces of someone else.His paper work had been done by someone,i knew cos of the handwriting.He admitted it was indeed a woman's writing,but jus a friend.I brushed all my negative thoughts becos he was soon to be with me again.i strongly believed that cos despite everything he had not lied to me before.If he had someone he would tell me..
One morning i called him and there was no
response.After a few tries,a girl answered.I was in a state of shock
when she said:"Y is sleeping.I'm his girlfriend."I jus hanged up.I took a cab to his place immediate.I did not know what i wanted myself to see,or not see.I was in a daze,not daring to go up.Upon reaching,i called my friend.She said:''Go.I want u to go up to see the truth.After seeing it,face it bravely and walk away.Dun shed a tear."I did. I banged on the door til my palm bruised.But they did not open even though there were whispers.Her ugly shoes were outside.Finally Y called me.From the background i heard her shout:''The REAL GF is here!Wat more to talk about?"
I told him to talk it over but i did not want to see her.He came out to the staircase.Yes, he had a gf all the while while re-service.I asked y he had promised me a chance?Was it cos he jus needed me to help him??He kept silent.He said:''I have more chemistry with her.''I was very calm.My heart was dead.3 yr of love was over.So,i walked away slowly.Telling myself not to look back(in the past,i would often turn back n hug him).No,walk on..I did not turn back even once.Think even he was surprised i did not.Only upon reaching downstairs,i allowed myself to cry.Cry cos i had been replaced.The one playing with his dog,joking with his mum,packing his things...She now could do all that. While i had been downgraded to sitting outside his house,she was now queen.Y had given her that authority
Being replaced in someone's life is a feeling i think only ppl who gone through know.I had always adored his parents and wished to bring his mum to concerts and dinners.Now that will forever remain a wish...Wonder y his taste changed,cos he never liked loud speaking rough types like his GF now,but ppl do change.For his offence,he was in jail for 5weeks.
My heart pains when i think of him in jail.Good life pampered boy,how to tolerate drinking toilet water?But he is out now.I do feel hatred to him whenever i think of his string of lies,his broken promise..But the other day i sent him a sms:"If u want we can remain friends.The past is the past."Cos i feel that if i continue to feel hatred,i can never move on.
If someone does not love you,even a million dollars or years or sacrifice will not move his heart.If someone loves you,u don't have to do anything (or you can do anything)but he will still love you . -
sad story... forget abt it and move on...
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thank thank
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go join the outings here and meet more new ppl...Originally posted by snobbish:thank thank -
he dun deserve u.
move on..A man who hit a woman is not a real man..
he was only making use of you. why waste your time and youth on him?
you deserve someone much better. -
me quite a quiet gal jus afraid u all here will find me borin
Tried 2 move on a long time but failed..feelings still as strong as 1st day 2gether..Have 2 jia you jia you more i think 
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Originally posted by snobbish:me quite a quiet gal jus afraid u all here will find me borin Tried 2 move on a long time but failed..feelings still as strong as 1st day 2gether..Have 2 jia you jia you more i think
once loved, can't possibly forget.
However, tell yourself you deserve someone better..hopefully some day..u will meet the right guy..
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Everyday,i m(without realising) looking 4 some1 like him in looks n personality..We all have 2 find e one who is fated 2 give us happiness . Along e way somehow we lost our way n end up wth some1 who was sent 2 hurt us,so tat we can learn how 2 love..My friend really believes in recarnation,past lives all tat stuff.Guess somehow its true,tats y this life i must pay him back cos maybe last life i was bad 2 him????????
Know some1 like him?Let me noe Just kidding!!!!!
Broad swimmer shoulders n V shaped body
Wear specs
Hairy
Intelligent soft spoken -
hiz..you have been through quite alot..me quite pei fu you..but think maybe you should find someone that does not remind you of him..if you really find one that looks like him or reminds you of him..then you might be be reminded of all those unpleasent memories..hope you can find someone that love you and derserve you..good luck and JIA YOU in forgeting him..
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Last week he had 2 return me someting.He was sick so i went up 2 his place.He did not even open e main gate.Jus pass me n eager 2 close door.......................... After tat my heart very very pain.I tout i am fine already..But y after seeing him....
2day: called him cos needed his advice on someting..Heard her voice behind..
Like a thousand knives stabbed into me
I was once his everything.....He once said i was his 1st piority now e way he talk 2 me is like so casual.........He has left my world yet i am dead stuck in his..e yr of memories,words spoken,promises made----------all gone.
Never mind.....Jia you... -
jia you... 3 years plus not that easy to let go... i noe cos i experienced it b4.. 1 year lo... still haven completely let go... ah hahahaOriginally posted by snobbish:Last week he had 2 return me someting.He was sick so i went up 2 his place.He did not even open e main gate.Jus pass me n eager 2 close door.......................... After tat my heart very very pain.I tout i am fine already..But y after seeing him....
2day: called him cos needed his advice on someting..Heard her voice behind..
Like a thousand knives stabbed into me
I was once his everything.....He once said i was his 1st piority now e way he talk 2 me is like so casual.........He has left my world yet i am dead stuck in his..e yr of memories,words spoken,promises made----------all gone.
Never mind.....Jia you... -
aiya, its ok la... or can join smaller group lo... or pickup a new interest, or go into hobbies u never imagine u may do, ask around can find kaki to join u.... dont think too much.... y not just find a different but better looking one, rather than finding a replica... u have to get out of your world if u want to move on... gd luck...Originally posted by snobbish:me quite a quiet gal jus afraid u all here will find me borin Tried 2 move on a long time but failed..feelings still as strong as 1st day 2gether..Have 2 jia you jia you more i think -
good post
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Nothing fixes a thing so intensely in the memory as the wish to forget it. well...the more you want to forget him...the more you will think of him....just, like everyone says, pick up a new hobby or go out with your friends and have fun....you will eventually forget him(it may take a long time)....no point thinking of someone who don;t belongs to you.... and....TRY not to find someone who looks like him or has the same charateristics/personalities as him....if you do this....you might just be treating that someone as 'him'....this will not do any good to you and that someone....
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M© pat pat snobbish.
I totally understand how you feel.
Be strong k? -
thanks
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/me pat patOriginally posted by M©+square:M© pat pat snobbish.
I totally understand how you feel.
Be strong k?
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Karmic relationship.
It made you walk around in cycles. Like a vicious snake, constricting you in coils. Until the tension strikes and the rope snaps, you will be trapped within. Love is often blind in first person view and ordinary folk wouldn't simply just understand how this karmic thingy works.
However, you gain lessons that will build you. You will definitely grow stronger.
Cheers -
Where Do Broken Hearts Go - Whitney Houston
I know it's been some time
But there's something on my mind
You see, I haven't been the same
Since that cold November day...
We said we needed space
But all we found was an empty place
And the only thing I learned
Is that I need you desperately...
So here I am
And can you please tell me... oh
Chorus:
Where do broken hearts go
Can they find their way home
Back to the open arms
Of a love that's waiting there
And if somebody loves you
Won't they always love you
I look in your eyes
And I know that you still care, for me
I've been around enough to know
That dreams don't turn to gold
And that there is no easy way
No you just can't run away...
And what we have is so much more
Than we ever had before
And no matter how I try
You're always on my mind
chorus
And now that I am here with you
I'll never let you go
I look into your eyes
And now I know, now I know... -
IThanks 4 e advice ( ^ ^ ) it takes 2 hands 2 clap.I made lotsa silly mistakes in e relationship too.Now i learn from these mistakes hopefully n wun make them in e future.... Very painful experience,grew up lots from it too.From it i learnt how 2 luv care e sacrifice..End up i got nothing but it ok cos he would always remember me as e gal who (Besides his family) e only one who would never never lie or hurt him.Tat is enough.He has made her his choice...Hope he is happy tats e most most important thing 2 me.I now choose 2 love him in a different way........from a distance..
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Now the problem is We don't know when it'll snap. At some relationship it'll take a miserablely long time to end the karmic r/s.Originally posted by Yunhaier:/me pat pat
*** Karmic relationship.
It made you walk around in cycles. Like a vicious snake, constricting you in coils. Until the tension strikes and the rope snaps, you will be trapped within. Love is often blind in first person view and ordinary folk wouldn't simply just understand how this karmic thingy works.
However, you gain lessons that will build you. You will definitely grow stronger.
Cheers -
That's just the way it is.
I met a woman a few years ago, we dated... was just about to fall in love (found myself thinking of her more and more during my day, couldn't wait to see her etc...), then I found out she was sleeping with someone else behind my back.
Tried to move past that, but the feelings just dried up. Kept trying but the feelings were just dead. We finally broke up.
She's been through a couple of bad relationships since and we're friends now.
She made a mistake when we were together, but she is a nice, caring person. She keeps trying to get back with me, but I can't love, her as much as I try.
I constantly have to remind her that we're nothing more than friends now. She claims that she loves me and I keep breaking her heart with rejection... but that's the way it is. Sometimes love can grow, but usually... it doesn't. -
I read your thread and it is very sad...
Time can heal all wounds...
Take your time to move on...
Who knows, maybe one day, you might meet someone better...
In life, nothing is for sure...
People changes as time passes...
What you once had, just cherish those memories but live your life and move on because what is done can never be undone...
Hard to forget but you have got to try...
Wish you all the best... -
......
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Originally posted by shinta:jia you... 3 years plus not that easy to let go... i noe cos i experienced it b4.. 1 year lo... still haven completely let go... ah hahaha
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A long time ago
there was once someone i loved this way too
for almost ... 6 years, I could not let him go
and in a very warped way, everytime I felt I was moving on
neither could he
perhaps as he said, i m the only person he knows loves him this way
and EVEN if he is attached, he still found it hard to let me go
EVEN if ... he knows he could never love me
and each time he 'returns' i give up whoever I may be with
cos I thought, well, perhaps THIS time his heart would be touched
At any rate, I carried on with my life. Pursued my hobbies, determined whatever it is that my love life is screwed up, doesn't mean the rest of my life needs to be.
Anyway, eventually one day, I realised
I dont love him anymore either!
it just happened. I knew I didn't need him anymore
and suddenly, I just couldnt care less.
I enjoyed my life a lot just being by myself
and I didn't need a self centred, weak man like him
who needed me to boost his ego
I no longer need to be the pathetic tragic girl in this melodrama of my own.
Yet I was worried. I hadnt really held on to my rships, and not very confident in keeping them. However, after all this time, it's as if we have become a bad habit for each other. He know he no longer have any control over me. We still talked occasionally. The emotional angst was over, but I still feared my own inclination to temptation - i still WANTED to prove tt I can make that stupid man love me. Stupid i know, but after all that's been invested - so anyway I kept my distance.
Life went on and finally, while being involved in my own passions and hobbies, I met someone. He is everything I can possibly be looking for. and its like I know he is someone I can be with happily forever.
I told him I was getting married, and he gave me his blessings and best of all a wedding gift - He stepped out of my life altogether.
That is the best thing he ever did for me. Cos I know finally, rather than a weak interdependent mutually destructive relationship with each other, we have BOTH moved on and now leading independent lives which is probably much more fulfilling. At least that is what I hope for him.
So snobbish... u CAN move on. You don't NEED a self destructive relationship but you got to be strong and believe that it is OKAY. so that rship is screwed up, big deal. You can eventually be friends but right now, maybe you need to just focus on your OWN life and build it up again. Fill the empty gaps with activities and friends so you dont keep on thinking about 'what might have been'. You already know you have this great capacity for love, you just need to find the right person!