relationship related prob haiz
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my BF has been ultra busy and distracted these few months... i am feeling somewat neglected and depressed... to make matters worse... i am developing feelings for a married colleague of mine.... maybe cos i am feeling vulnerable, and i appreciate his attention (i am quite a good looker) but i know
his heart is with his wife and I shouldn't be harboring any silly thoughts..
how i wish i am dead...
wat should i do? I love my BF and I wish he wont be so distracted when he is with me... and i hate to keep thinking about this other guy..!!! -
hmmmm.....dun be 3rd party, bad karma
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i know.. that;s why i say cannot harbor silly thoughts... why is this happening to me!!Originally posted by chunyong:hmmmm.....dun be 3rd party, bad karma
?! thanks for replying.. it helps to see people shpwing some sort of concern... -
Dont be tempted, this time use your head instead of your heart, and do what you need to do to get yourself out of this situation.
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i also have the same prob as u.. my bf has neglect me..
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Hi ramona,Originally posted by ramona:my BF has been ultra busy and distracted these few months... i am feeling somewat neglected and depressed... to make matters worse... i am developing feelings for a married colleague of mine.... maybe cos i am feeling vulnerable, and i appreciate his attention (i am quite a good looker) but i know
his heart is with his wife and I shouldn't be harboring any silly thoughts..
how i wish i am dead...
wat should i do? I love my BF and I wish he wont be so distracted when he is with me... and i hate to keep thinking about this other guy..!!!
Don't jump into the bandwagon too fast. You will most likely end up being implicated in a lot of unwanted problems if you develop anything with your colleague.
Remember, the problem is between you and your boyfriend so you have to speak up to him. It is inevitable that one party may be too busy and neglect the other. Ask yourself, there are times when you are just too preoccupied with so many things on hand to bother about him too.
Try to be understanding and talk things out. Meet up with your own circle of friends, preferably girls, and watch some movies, drink some coffee or something. At this point in your life now, it is very dangerous if you start meeting up with strangers of the opposite sex because you just don't know what you may get yourself into.
Good luck!
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jz be go tell your bf that u r feeling lonely.... or go out with your friends... or go learn more skills and show it to your bfOriginally posted by ramona:my BF has been ultra busy and distracted these few months... i am feeling somewat neglected and depressed... to make matters worse... i am developing feelings for a married colleague of mine.... maybe cos i am feeling vulnerable, and i appreciate his attention (i am quite a good looker) but i know
his heart is with his wife and I shouldn't be harboring any silly thoughts..
how i wish i am dead...
wat should i do? I love my BF and I wish he wont be so distracted when he is with me... and i hate to keep thinking about this other guy..!!! -
Have a heart-to-heart talk with your boyfriend. Tell him what's on your mind - that you feel neglected. At the same time, show concern for him. Understand that as much as you want it to be true, his life does not solely revolve around you. He also has parents to care for, a job to do, and in general, a life to live.
Meanwhile, if you're thinking of being the third party in another relationship, I have a one-word advice for you:
DON'T.
You'll end up hurting a lot of people. You'll hurt your boyfriend by cheating on him, you'll hurt the guy's wife by cheating with her husband, you'll hurt the guy's children by showing them that papa has loose morals and you'll hurt the guy by straining his relationship with his wife.
In the end, you're going to end up really hurt with the realisation that you had hurt so many people. -
thanks guys... i will try..
sometimes i tell my BF i feel neglected, he says i am taking him for granted... how?
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say that u already thankful that he is around, but unfortunately it still caused u to feel negleccted. but as i said u can go out with your galfriends enjoy time.Originally posted by ramona:thanks guys... i will try..
sometimes i tell my BF i feel neglected, he says i am taking him for granted... how? -
Avoid spending time alone with your married colleague.
Lunch with the gals.
It is flattering that a guy is interested but don't forget he is married.
Think of his kids & wife + your bf's feeling.
Try & be more independent & get involved in some hobbies/ take up some courses/ aerobics/ makan sessions with your gfs. when your bf is busy.
U need to lead your own life & not be so dependant on him. -
that's what r/s is all about. you tell him wats bothering you, he do likewise.Originally posted by ramona:thanks guys... i will try..
sometimes i tell my BF i feel neglected, he says i am taking him for granted... how?
if what he want no longer matches urs, maybe it's time to end the r/s.
BUT don't CHEAT .....
incidentally, u still young wat, easy enuff to change the course of ur life. -
That's perfectly normal, ramona. There's nothing wrong with feelings like this...cos all girls will feel the same way as you if they are in your situation.Originally posted by ramona:my BF has been ultra busy and distracted these few months... i am feeling somewat neglected and depressed... to make matters worse... i am developing feelings for a married colleague of mine.... maybe cos i am feeling vulnerable, and i appreciate his attention (i am quite a good looker) but i know
his heart is with his wife and I shouldn't be harboring any silly thoughts..
how i wish i am dead...
wat should i do? I love my BF and I wish he wont be so distracted when he is with me... and i hate to keep thinking about this other guy..!!!
But avoid this married colleague as you will never have a future with him. Such feelings and thoughts are not easily brushed off, so you will need to avoid him like a plague.
Try and must have more communication with your bf everyday. Else, keep yourself busy with other things...or get some more sleep everyday.
Good luck, I hope you don't drift away from your bf. -
its ur fault if u harbour thoughts abt other guys...esp when he is married...even if ur bf treat u bad...
did u find out how come he is like tis? maybe theres sth wrong with his career? or maybe he also feel that u neglect him?
nv go outta track b4 he does...bcos it wil be ur fault..so if u wanna go outta track did it after he did. -
Why is that so? Care to elaborate on that?Originally posted by ramona:my BF has been ultra busy and distracted these few months... i am feeling somewat neglected and depressed... to make matters worse... i am developing feelings for a married colleague of mine.... maybe cos i am feeling vulnerable, and i appreciate his attention (i am quite a good looker) but i know
his heart is with his wife and I shouldn't be harboring any silly thoughts..
how i wish i am dead...
wat should i do? I love my BF and I wish he wont be so distracted when he is with me... and i hate to keep thinking about this other guy..!!! -
Ask him nicely, what makes him think so...?Originally posted by ramona:thanks guys... i will try..
sometimes i tell my BF i feel neglected, he says i am taking him for granted... how? -
Hi ramona,
My advice to you is don't ever be a thrid party. My husband had cheated on me, so I can understand how your colleague friend wife and children feel if they find out your existence.
Honest, if you think that your present relationship with your bf is no good, end it and start a new one, don't go distrubing people family life. -
Originally posted by ramona:my BF has been ultra busy and distracted these few months... i am feeling somewat neglected and depressed... to make matters worse... i am developing feelings for a married colleague of mine.... maybe cos i am feeling vulnerable, and i appreciate his attention (i am quite a good looker) but i know
his heart is with his wife and I shouldn't be harboring any silly thoughts..
how i wish i am dead...
wat should i do? I love my BF and I wish he wont be so distracted when he is with me... and i hate to keep thinking about this other guy..!!!
I seriously hope you are not someone I know.
/me count fingers.
Nah, I know you are not
*** These are two separate issues coming in conjunction to fuse into one ultimate emotional annihilation operation. The factors are such that:
I) You are currently being neglected in your current relationship
II) Falling for a married man.
By observing (I), it seemed to me that it's more about having to-fill-up-the-void context. Say one fine day your boyfriend treats you better, would you be liking the other man less? Or say if the married man chase after you, would you accept him and dump your relationship? Would you be able to answer the questions without hestitation?
Not likely.
Confusion swarm around you.
Flipping through Yunnie's Book of CloUdiSm, there is this paragraph about the Mirror Law. It's pretty long, but to sum up: here it states about the psychological/emotional state of a person being mirrored when he/she falls for another person, sharing similar status as him/her.
To explain your case in simple words: when we talk about people who cannot commit themselves into relationship for any reason, they often find themselves facing opportunity/encountering uncommitted relationship. (E.g. you are attached, but your relationship is weakening from negligence. You are falling for a man who cannot be committed into a relationship with you). I have my best friend, always lamenting about not being able to find the right mate. She have everything a guy would seek and when potentials floods in - everyone were eliminated mentally.
Deep down inside, it is her who cannot commit and she knows it. Her past relationship wound her deeply and she prefer to keep things this way.
Next thing? An affair with a married man.
*** Learn to remove obstacles in a manner where it wouldn't leave regrets and marks on your life forever. Since you are in relationship, until the day it fails you, you ought to upkeep what is neccessary in your relationship as a girlfriend. You can pursue for the kind of relationship you want, even if he is married, but terminate whatsoever bonds you have first.
Or if you have persisted in your relationship and earn insight in how to make them better - you would have level up your relationship to the next level.
P.S: Never choose alternatives by leaping ships. Always attempt to repair damage first. Of course, unless you chose to abandon ship.
Cheers -
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a few thing ... work, lost some money on stocks etc.. hmm.. haizOriginally posted by Devil1976:Why is that so? Care to elaborate on that?
However, I DECIDED to TRY harder!!!!! I will not give in to temptation!!! Thanks guys!!
I will try to be more understanding and try to put more positive energy into my r/s... i dun wan bad karma.. i dun be to be bad woman....
thanks!!