Interesting story...How would u solve it?
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This story actually is more for gals, guys can also comment...
Let say u got a best friend, she is ur best friend in the world, u all do things together since young, adore the same guys in school, join the same club, etc etc
Then when u all grew older, she found the love of her life - a boyfren. She is soon gonna be married to this guy.
But u know, this guy is the worst scum the world ever produced. He has done lots of bad things before, mabbe flirting around, have a second gal, while still having the first gal, terrible stuff
u know she is gonna suffer if she is gonna get married to this guy.
What would you do? -
talk to her lo.. the gopod n bad stuff about the guy.. den leave it to her to decide
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can intro croco to her
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by the way there is no one right solution, all suggestions welcomed..including sending a buaya to her...
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Advice will fall into deaf ears.
Left her to experience the pain herself instead.
She will came to know the light one day. -
x2, she most likely wont listen since she is blinded by love... Best is to hope and pray that she realise her mistake soonOriginally posted by Oyster Omelette:Advice will fall into deaf ears.
Left her to experience the pain herself instead.
She will came to know the light one day.
..or maybe the guy has changed for the better? -
She may suffer in the future according to what we think might happened. However, what we think is not important to her cos it is afterall her own life and judgment that she decides to have her future with this guy.Originally posted by laurence82:This story actually is more for gals, guys can also comment...
Let say u got a best friend, she is ur best friend in the world, u all do things together since young, adore the same guys in school, join the same club, etc etc
Then when u all grew older, she found the love of her life - a boyfren. She is soon gonna be married to this guy.
But u know, this guy is the worst scum the world ever produced. He has done lots of bad things before, mabbe flirting around, have a second gal, while still having the first gal, terrible stuff
u know she is gonna suffer if she is gonna get married to this guy.
What would you do?
What we can do is to give her our most sincere blessing and forget about the entire thing. I would rather hope that everything goes fine for her than it doesn't.
But I'll keep a distance from the love of her life.
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Since she is my good friend & wanna prevent her from making a mistake, I'll try gather evidence or witnesses to his bad deeds.
If she don't listen after this, then will let it be cos it is her life.
At least I've tried & my conscience is clear. -
Yah, I would get evidence too to show her....that would speak more clearly than anything I would have to say.....and then let the final decision be hers........it is her choice, her life....I would try and be as supportive as possible in whatever she decides and be there for her...
through thick and thin,
through sick and sin..... -
Not an alient topic.. been thru somthing like dat.. I am a guy and I do have a close female friend. The situation is somewhat different in that she knows that the guy is the worst scum the world has produced cos she did catch the guy in bed with someone else and openly flirting (in her presence). But still she stuck with him.. took a great deal of effort to talk sense into her and paint her real dark and glommy images of her doomed "marriage" with this guy if she continues til marriage.. Well she bought into the idea and so decided to not continue the relationship. She's with someone else now (no not me) but she still pines (occassionally for this guy)..Originally posted by laurence82:This story actually is more for gals, guys can also comment...
Let say u got a best friend, she is ur best friend in the world, u all do things together since young, adore the same guys in school, join the same club, etc etc
Then when u all grew older, she found the love of her life - a boyfren. She is soon gonna be married to this guy.
But u know, this guy is the worst scum the world ever produced. He has done lots of bad things before, mabbe flirting around, have a second gal, while still having the first gal, terrible stuff
u know she is gonna suffer if she is gonna get married to this guy.
What would you do?
So my point is the victim must see for herself and preferably witness some of these accounts. The best friend can (at best) psycho her continuously. But at the end of it, it can be exasperating cos the choice is really hers.. -
talk to her.. if she refuses to listen, be there for her when she finally realise her mistakes.
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Actually no one can judge somebody else with whatever they thought.Originally posted by laurence82:But u know, this guy is the worst scum the world ever produced. He has done lots of bad things before, mabbe flirting around, have a second gal, while still having the first gal, terrible stuff
Those who say someone else is scum, jerk or whatever, are worm with lowest life.
They are worst then those jerks.
And those who teach people how to avoid or let go those jerks are even worst than worm.
They are rubbish.
This is a world about freedom, let her decide, let her dream, and let her wake up by herself.
Only suckers teach people this and that, and judge people this and that.
They sucks.
So, why care about those suckers said?
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You can advise and show the evidence but remember one thing:
The messenger gets the blame.
It is a common thing for someone who does not want to know to blame and kill the messenger. So be prepared that for her happiness you might unwittingly sacrifice the relationship you have with her. -
agrees... esp when she's so in love with that guy...Originally posted by elindra:You can advise and show the evidence but remember one thing:
The messenger gets the blame.
It is a common thing for someone who does not want to know to blame and kill the messenger. So be prepared that for her happiness you might unwittingly sacrifice the relationship you have with her.
advice will fall on deaf ears.... -
wow, great discussion
yah, its true, when someone trust or love someone else deep enuff, no matter what third party say, the advice will fall deaf ears...there might be even quarrels and breakdown in friendship
this question was thrown up during a discussion with frens, and one of the really good solution i heard was this
'well let him or her be, but as a friend, if you really cherish your friendship, dont forget abt him or her, there will be one day when she or he will regret it, and might be even be in trouble, but what u can do is to have the door open always, a door which your friend come through to u in times of trouble" -
and another thing... when u r talking to her in times of trouble, dun say "I told u so" kind of wordings.... will only be rubbing salt on her wounds nia...Originally posted by laurence82:wow, great discussion
yah, its true, when someone trust or love someone else deep enuff, no matter what third party say, the advice will fall deaf ears...there might be even quarrels and breakdown in friendship
this question was thrown up during a discussion with frens, and one of the really good solution i heard was this
'well let him or her be, but as a friend, if you really cherish your friendship, dont forget abt him or her, there will be one day when she or he will regret it, and might be even be in trouble, but what u can do is to have the door open always, a door which your friend come through to u in times of trouble" -
she will be very du lanz oso.. den she will remember never to approach u for advice or wateva..Originally posted by coolger03:and another thing... when u r talking to her in times of trouble, dun say "I told u so" kind of wordings.... will only be rubbing salt on her wounds nia...
how i noe? i'm like that! -
It's no use talking if the recipient isn't listening or isn't ready to accept a different point of view.
Some lessons have to be learnt the hard way -
Either have a heart to heart talk with her. Or show some evidence to her. Maybe even have a lady frd to tell her.Originally posted by laurence82:This story actually is more for gals, guys can also comment...
Let say u got a best friend, she is ur best friend in the world, u all do things together since young, adore the same guys in school, join the same club, etc etc
Then when u all grew older, she found the love of her life - a boyfren. She is soon gonna be married to this guy.
But u know, this guy is the worst scum the world ever produced. He has done lots of bad things before, mabbe flirting around, have a second gal, while still having the first gal, terrible stuff
u know she is gonna suffer if she is gonna get married to this guy.
What would you do?
It's for her good n future too. -
I will try talk first. Then look out for a incident for herself to actually "see" what the other party is doing behind....
Better to let 1st party see ... then let them decide. -
My friend oso lidat!! That guy was a jailbird summore!! I told she can get better guy she turn deaf ear! I wonder what's so good about the guy.. I think she took pity on his background.. But then, pity not love mah.. He's the worst of the worst, not only jailbird but oso chao ah beng, loads of "cartoon" on his body, piercing, bad family background, poor. I truly believe that a leopard can't change his spot lor.. You know what law he breaks? Selling pirated vcds!!! Not once or twice, but tio caught liao still sell again, that's why put to jail. This kinda person no good lah!! Tell her she dun wanna listen!! Wait till she got pregnant by this jerk, see what she will do! This person actually got a girl pregnant b4 oso! KNS!!
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as a good fren u have to let her know wat u know...Originally posted by laurence82:This story actually is more for gals, guys can also comment...
Let say u got a best friend, she is ur best friend in the world, u all do things together since young, adore the same guys in school, join the same club, etc etc
Then when u all grew older, she found the love of her life - a boyfren. She is soon gonna be married to this guy.
But u know, this guy is the worst scum the world ever produced. He has done lots of bad things before, mabbe flirting around, have a second gal, while still having the first gal, terrible stuff
u know she is gonna suffer if she is gonna get married to this guy.
What would you do?
as final decision is still hers, just wish her luck....
just let her know u will be by her side if she really needs u... -
Let her be...Originally posted by laurence82:This story actually is more for gals, guys can also comment...
Let say u got a best friend, she is ur best friend in the world, u all do things together since young, adore the same guys in school, join the same club, etc etc
Then when u all grew older, she found the love of her life - a boyfren. She is soon gonna be married to this guy.
But u know, this guy is the worst scum the world ever produced. He has done lots of bad things before, mabbe flirting around, have a second gal, while still having the first gal, terrible stuff
u know she is gonna suffer if she is gonna get married to this guy.
What would you do?
Maybe just curious then ask her what she see in that guy lor... That's it?> -
since the guy can get a second gal while with ur best fren, y not b the second girl, make ur best fren break up wif him (tis way she si xin), then a few months later, u dump the guy
better ur best fren suffered tis b4 marriage rather than after marriage where they hv children -
since she's a very good fren, enlighten her & do not keep her in the dark. if she's willing to listen & discover the true him, great. otherwise, be prepared to lend her the emotional support during the bad times.