Seems to me like a clash in personalities and expectations of a relationship between 2 individuals.Originally posted by Mian_Hua_Tang:I just initated to break with my bf. I sent him an sms for i wont be able to tell him my decision verbally. I find that our social life is different. He is one who used to frequent nightclubs and pubs. I dont know why but i also have the feeling that he does still go to such kind of places with his friends for he and his friends like to go and hug those nightclubs girls and drink and chat with them.
We have been together for a couple of months and i dread having to suspect him. Recently he has started to quit smoking and drinking so he stayed away from his friends but his friends always come and pester him to go to such places again. He even dared to tell me if his friends are willing to pay for the tips for the girls and the beer he dont mind going.
I mean if he's really determined to quit all these why reply that to his friends, there is a possiblilty that his friends will really pay for those and does it mean he can do such acts behind my back. When we are outside and he sees a beautiful girl, he will keep looking at that direction even if i was talking to him. He said it will be a fool to not look at beautiful girls.
Now while still in the process of quitting smoking and drinking his friends all blame me. They questioned him as in "why are you quitting all the smoking and drinking just for a girl? She's not pretty, no figure, bad temper, is it worth it?" Though he told them its not because of me but his friends still blame me.
Am i doing the right thing to break off with him? Though i should be supporting him in quitting smoking and drinking but i really feel very tired of all these guesses and his actions. I dont feel any security at all. To him, a relationship must have sex then there will love. This is even more unacceptable to me, i asked him back is there really no love if there is no sex and he said yes.
From then on, i really lose faith and trust in this relationship, am now very sad.
Originally posted by Mian_Hua_Tang:I just initated to break with my bf. I sent him an sms for i wont be able to tell him my decision verbally. I find that our social life is different. He is one who used to frequent nightclubs and pubs. I dont know why but i also have the feeling that he does still go to such kind of places with his friends for he and his friends like to go and hug those nightclubs girls and drink and chat with them.
We have been together for a couple of months and i dread having to suspect him. Recently he has started to quit smoking and drinking so he stayed away from his friends but his friends always come and pester him to go to such places again. He even dared to tell me if his friends are willing to pay for the tips for the girls and the beer he dont mind going.
I mean if he's really determined to quit all these why reply that to his friends, there is a possiblilty that his friends will really pay for those and does it mean he can do such acts behind my back. When we are outside and he sees a beautiful girl, he will keep looking at that direction even if i was talking to him. He said it will be a fool to not look at beautiful girls.
Now while still in the process of quitting smoking and drinking his friends all blame me. They questioned him as in "why are you quitting all the smoking and drinking just for a girl? She's not pretty, no figure, bad temper, is it worth it?" Though he told them its not because of me but his friends still blame me.
Am i doing the right thing to break off with him? Though i should be supporting him in quitting smoking and drinking but i really feel very tired of all these guesses and his actions. I dont feel any security at all. To him, a relationship must have sex then there will love. This is even more unacceptable to me, i asked him back is there really no love if there is no sex and he said yes.
From then on, i really lose faith and trust in this relationship, am now very sad.
You can either... Ask his mindset 1st, then ask him to change his social circle of friends... Or ask him to change his social circle of friends then change his mindset... Either way, it won't be easy...Originally posted by Mian_Hua_Tang:I just initated to break with my bf. I sent him an sms for i wont be able to tell him my decision verbally. I find that our social life is different. He is one who used to frequent nightclubs and pubs. I dont know why but i also have the feeling that he does still go to such kind of places with his friends for he and his friends like to go and hug those nightclubs girls and drink and chat with them.
We have been together for a couple of months and i dread having to suspect him. Recently he has started to quit smoking and drinking so he stayed away from his friends but his friends always come and pester him to go to such places again. He even dared to tell me if his friends are willing to pay for the tips for the girls and the beer he dont mind going.
I mean if he's really determined to quit all these why reply that to his friends, there is a possiblilty that his friends will really pay for those and does it mean he can do such acts behind my back. When we are outside and he sees a beautiful girl, he will keep looking at that direction even if i was talking to him. He said it will be a fool to not look at beautiful girls.
Now while still in the process of quitting smoking and drinking his friends all blame me. They questioned him as in "why are you quitting all the smoking and drinking just for a girl? She's not pretty, no figure, bad temper, is it worth it?" Though he told them its not because of me but his friends still blame me.
Am i doing the right thing to break off with him? Though i should be supporting him in quitting smoking and drinking but i really feel very tired of all these guesses and his actions. I dont feel any security at all. To him, a relationship must have sex then there will love. This is even more unacceptable to me, i asked him back is there really no love if there is no sex and he said yes.
From then on, i really lose faith and trust in this relationship, am now very sad.
Originally posted by Mian_Hua_Tang:I accepted him initally for i thought he might change after he had me. I can accept him drinking and smoking but not to those places where there are other girls for them to hug and kiss and drink with. Who can allow to such tolerances? Furthermore he do it behind my back, its like betrayal to me.
I do like him but i just find it stressful to be together with him, i want a happy, secured relationship not those which i have to worry where he might be going with his friends tonight and etc since i cannot be with him every minute. He may tell me things like he love me and etc but i find that i cant trust him every now and then.
He just called me back and asked if i have gone haywired again, he doesnt seem to believe i would want a break up. But i seriously do want to put an end to this torture. Im afraid i may become more and more paranoid as the days goes by.
Well.. just take it tat you choose the wrong guy.. Someone you think who will change be cos of you.. SOmeone who wants your body only and not you.. Good that you have shaken him off.. Yes, there will be pain in you.. But if you keep this r/s going on.. do you think he will still chang afterall this is his kind of lifestyle.. and he enjoyed!Originally posted by Mian_Hua_Tang:I just initated to break with my bf. I sent him an sms for i wont be able to tell him my decision verbally. I find that our social life is different. He is one who used to frequent nightclubs and pubs. I dont know why but i also have the feeling that he does still go to such kind of places with his friends for he and his friends like to go and hug those nightclubs girls and drink and chat with them.
We have been together for a couple of months and i dread having to suspect him. Recently he has started to quit smoking and drinking so he stayed away from his friends but his friends always come and pester him to go to such places again. He even dared to tell me if his friends are willing to pay for the tips for the girls and the beer he dont mind going.
I mean if he's really determined to quit all these why reply that to his friends, there is a possiblilty that his friends will really pay for those and does it mean he can do such acts behind my back. When we are outside and he sees a beautiful girl, he will keep looking at that direction even if i was talking to him. He said it will be a fool to not look at beautiful girls.
Now while still in the process of quitting smoking and drinking his friends all blame me. They questioned him as in "why are you quitting all the smoking and drinking just for a girl? She's not pretty, no figure, bad temper, is it worth it?" Though he told them its not because of me but his friends still blame me.
Am i doing the right thing to break off with him? Though i should be supporting him in quitting smoking and drinking but i really feel very tired of all these guesses and his actions. I dont feel any security at all. To him, a relationship must have sex then there will love. This is even more unacceptable to me, i asked him back is there really no love if there is no sex and he said yes.
From then on, i really lose faith and trust in this relationship, am now very sad.
Originally posted by Mian_Hua_Tang:I just initated to break with my bf. I sent him an sms for i wont be able to tell him my decision verbally. I find that our social life is different. He is one who used to frequent nightclubs and pubs. I dont know why but i also have the feeling that he does still go to such kind of places with his friends for he and his friends like to go and hug those nightclubs girls and drink and chat with them.
We have been together for a couple of months and i dread having to suspect him. Recently he has started to quit smoking and drinking so he stayed away from his friends but his friends always come and pester him to go to such places again. He even dared to tell me if his friends are willing to pay for the tips for the girls and the beer he dont mind going.
I mean if he's really determined to quit all these why reply that to his friends, there is a possiblilty that his friends will really pay for those and does it mean he can do such acts behind my back. When we are outside and he sees a beautiful girl, he will keep looking at that direction even if i was talking to him. He said it will be a fool to not look at beautiful girls.
Now while still in the process of quitting smoking and drinking his friends all blame me. They questioned him as in "why are you quitting all the smoking and drinking just for a girl? She's not pretty, no figure, bad temper, is it worth it?" Though he told them its not because of me but his friends still blame me.
Am i doing the right thing to break off with him? Though i should be supporting him in quitting smoking and drinking but i really feel very tired of all these guesses and his actions. I dont feel any security at all. To him, a relationship must have sex then there will love. This is even more unacceptable to me, i asked him back is there really no love if there is no sex and he said yes.
From then on, i really lose faith and trust in this relationship, am now very sad.
Well, u go girl!Originally posted by Mian_Hua_Tang:I just initated to break with my bf. I sent him an sms for i wont be able to tell him my decision verbally. I find that our social life is different. He is one who used to frequent nightclubs and pubs. I dont know why but i also have the feeling that he does still go to such kind of places with his friends for he and his friends like to go and hug those nightclubs girls and drink and chat with them.
We have been together for a couple of months and i dread having to suspect him. Recently he has started to quit smoking and drinking so he stayed away from his friends but his friends always come and pester him to go to such places again. He even dared to tell me if his friends are willing to pay for the tips for the girls and the beer he dont mind going.
I mean if he's really determined to quit all these why reply that to his friends, there is a possiblilty that his friends will really pay for those and does it mean he can do such acts behind my back. When we are outside and he sees a beautiful girl, he will keep looking at that direction even if i was talking to him. He said it will be a fool to not look at beautiful girls.
Now while still in the process of quitting smoking and drinking his friends all blame me. They questioned him as in "why are you quitting all the smoking and drinking just for a girl? She's not pretty, no figure, bad temper, is it worth it?" Though he told them its not because of me but his friends still blame me.
Am i doing the right thing to break off with him? Though i should be supporting him in quitting smoking and drinking but i really feel very tired of all these guesses and his actions. I dont feel any security at all. To him, a relationship must have sex then there will love. This is even more unacceptable to me, i asked him back is there really no love if there is no sex and he said yes.
From then on, i really lose faith and trust in this relationship, am now very sad.