Is it normal to feel this way...
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Well... initiately when we were together, whenever he went clubbing, he will sms me or call me at clubbing. It makes me feel that i was remembered even when he was having fun. It makes me feel good. But now, all these has stopped. And now i wonder if i'm still on his mind while he's having fun. Is it normal to feel this way? Or when a relationship starts to go into the stablization mode, guys tend to stop these gestures?
I wanted to ask him to do it again, but it becomes meaningless isn't it? Coz i'm always overseas when he's clubbing. I dun have a problem of him going clubbing. But i just need that little security ba.
Should i tell him this? WIll he thinnk that i'm an insecure freak? -
You already say when he goes clubbing you are overseas.. well.. maybe he thinks that overseas calls are expensive.. that's why he didn't? You can talked to him about this.. you aren't an insercure freak.. you jus need assurance.. jus let him know thateven he cant call.. drop msg telling you how's his doing this and that..Originally posted by shirurinu:Well... initiately when we were together, whenever he went clubbing, he will sms me or call me at clubbing. It makes me feel that i was remembered even when he was having fun. It makes me feel good. But now, all these has stopped. And now i wonder if i'm still on his mind while he's having fun. Is it normal to feel this way? Or when a relationship starts to go into the stablization mode, guys tend to stop these gestures?
I wanted to ask him to do it again, but it becomes meaningless isn't it? Coz i'm always overseas when he's clubbing. I dun have a problem of him going clubbing. But i just need that little security ba.
Should i tell him this? WIll he thinnk that i'm an insecure freak?
Speak up to him. and open up.. if not this issue will continue to frow bigger and bigger until one day you couldn't take it and you erupt! You never tell him.. he'll never know.. Mostly all guys are insensitive creatures.. you need to tell them straight and direct what you want..
Don't worry gal.. Its fine..
Cheers..
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He don't have to report to u everytime he is out. Let him have his fun.
As long as he calls u when he is home/ is free.
When a r/s matures, the calls & SMS will get lesser.
If u miss him, take the initiative to call/ SMS. Don't wait for him to do so.
Don't do it as though u are checking on him.
Remember the more u control him, the more he wants to break free.
Both of u have to give each other space to do their own thing. -
Nice...Originally posted by gerrykoh:He don't have to report to u everytime he is out. Let him have his fun.
As long as he calls u when he is home/ is free.
When a r/s matures, the calls & SMS will get lesser.
If u miss him, take the initiative to call/ SMS. Don't wait for him to do so.
Don't do it as though u are checking on him.
Remember the more u control him, the more he wants to break free.
Both of u have to give each other space to do their own thing. -
if my gf were to take the initiative and send me a "any chio bus there tonite?" sms,
i would reply with "plenty, but they all dun look at me cos scared you humtum them" (or some SHIAT like that...)
but then again... i never go clubbing.
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There's nothing really wrong with totally absorbed into an activity which one really enjoys, especially if your bf's a party animal... You can't expect him to be thinking of you 24 hours around the clock, as that'll be too artificial... All you really need to know is that he do love you... And by giving him his appropriate freedom and be more understanding to his circumstance, it'll only show that you love and respect him as much too....Originally posted by shirurinu:Well... initiately when we were together, whenever he went clubbing, he will sms me or call me at clubbing. It makes me feel that i was remembered even when he was having fun. It makes me feel good. But now, all these has stopped. And now i wonder if i'm still on his mind while he's having fun. Is it normal to feel this way? Or when a relationship starts to go into the stablization mode, guys tend to stop these gestures?
I wanted to ask him to do it again, but it becomes meaningless isn't it? Coz i'm always overseas when he's clubbing. I dun have a problem of him going clubbing. But i just need that little security ba.
Should i tell him this? WIll he thinnk that i'm an insecure freak?
I understand that you're one who often has to be separated by countries apart from your bf... It's only natural for you to think of him and hence at the same time thinking if he's doing the same... But often, things don't equivalent and recipocate in that way... At one moment you could be free and thinking of him yet he's occupied with something.. Another moment when you're busy with your work, he might be thinking of you... It's only mature to understand that someone has their own various commitments and activities... And as you've said, asking him to do something like that would probably be too superficial... Not forgetting the other facts like phone calls can be expensive when you're overseas etc. like what Sunrise has brought up...
You can certainly let him know about how you feel towards things.. Yes.. In a relationship it's always nice to share things and feelings... But remember the idea is not to pressurise him and expect him to do anything out of it... Should let him understand that while expressing yourself at the same time... Rather, see if he might be expressing his love for you through other more appropriate means...? -
That's what i've always been doing...Originally posted by gerrykoh:He don't have to report to u everytime he is out. Let him have his fun.
As long as he calls u when he is home/ is free.
When a r/s matures, the calls & SMS will get lesser.
If u miss him, take the initiative to call/ SMS. Don't wait for him to do so.
Don't do it as though u are checking on him.
Remember the more u control him, the more he wants to break free.
Both of u have to give each other space to do their own thing.
When he's having fun with his frenz, tendency of forgetting to call/msg u's rather normal..totally agreed with gerrykoh of controlling & checking on him...
Give him some space to be with his frenz...
I've never wait for my gf to call/msg me when she's out chionging with her frenz, normally she'll call/sms me that she has reached the place n that's all...at least i would feel kinda safe...however, i would nv keep sms-ing her or call her...she's there to have fun with her frenz and so let her enjoy the fun throughly...of coz, once she has finished her partying with her frenz, a sms will be droppped to me, juz to make sure that i know she's safe...we do the same to each other...
Truth's in between us...and i believe you do have the same trust in your bf..but like what you've mentioned, you somehow feel lack of security when he didn't call/sms you..it's normal..like what the others had mentioned earlier, it could be becoz you're overseas n making a call/sms would be quite expensive...
Sometimes, when i had a drop too much, i actually forgot to call/sms her when i finished partying...too tired n dizzy..but i'll make sure the next morning when i woke up, i'll call/sms her...so does she...
Well....talk to your bf abt how you feel abt this feelings of yours, make him known to your problem, i'm sure he'll understand...
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/Clap clap clapOriginally posted by Devil1976:There's nothing really wrong with totally absorbed into an activity which one really enjoys, especially if your bf's a party animal... You can't expect him to be thinking of you 24 hours around the clock, as that'll be too artificial... All you really need to know is that he do love you... And by giving him his appropriate freedom and be more understanding to his circumstance, it'll only show that you love and respect him as much too....
I understand that you're one who often has to be separated by countries apart from your bf... It's only natural for you to think of him and hence at the same time thinking if he's doing the same... But often, things don't equivalent and recipocate in that way... At one moment you could be free and thinking of him yet he's occupied with something.. Another moment when you're busy with your work, he might be thinking of you... It's only mature to understand that someone has their own various commitments and activities... And as you've said, asking him to do something like that would probably be too superficial... Not forgetting the other facts like phone calls can be expensive when you're overseas etc. like what Sunrise has brought up...
You can certainly let him know about how you feel towards things.. Yes.. In a relationship it's always nice to share things and feelings... But remember the idea is not to pressurise him and expect him to do anything out of it... Should let him understand that while expressing yourself at the same time... Rather, see if he might be expressing his love for you through other more appropriate means...?
Well said
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Originally posted by Devil1976:There's nothing really wrong with totally absorbed into an activity which one really enjoys, especially if your bf's a party animal... You can't expect him to be thinking of you 24 hours around the clock, as that'll be too artificial... All you really need to know is that he do love you... And by giving him his appropriate freedom and be more understanding to his circumstance, it'll only show that you love and respect him as much too....
I understand that you're one who often has to be separated by countries apart from your bf... It's only natural for you to think of him and hence at the same time thinking if he's doing the same... But often, things don't equivalent and recipocate in that way... At one moment you could be free and thinking of him yet he's occupied with something.. Another moment when you're busy with your work, he might be thinking of you... It's only mature to understand that someone has their own various commitments and activities... And as you've said, asking him to do something like that would probably be too superficial... Not forgetting the other facts like phone calls can be expensive when you're overseas etc. like what Sunrise has brought up...
You can certainly let him know about how you feel towards things.. Yes.. In a relationship it's always nice to share things and feelings... But remember the idea is not to pressurise him and expect him to do anything out of it... Should let him understand that while expressing yourself at the same time... Rather, see if he might be expressing his love for you through other more appropriate means...? 
anyway well said! -
Good devlish stuff.Originally posted by Devil1976:There's nothing really wrong with totally absorbed into an activity which one really enjoys, especially if your bf's a party animal... You can't expect him to be thinking of you 24 hours around the clock, as that'll be too artificial... All you really need to know is that he do love you... And by giving him his appropriate freedom and be more understanding to his circumstance, it'll only show that you love and respect him as much too....
I understand that you're one who often has to be separated by countries apart from your bf... It's only natural for you to think of him and hence at the same time thinking if he's doing the same... But often, things don't equivalent and recipocate in that way... At one moment you could be free and thinking of him yet he's occupied with something.. Another moment when you're busy with your work, he might be thinking of you... It's only mature to understand that someone has their own various commitments and activities... And as you've said, asking him to do something like that would probably be too superficial... Not forgetting the other facts like phone calls can be expensive when you're overseas etc. like what Sunrise has brought up...
You can certainly let him know about how you feel towards things.. Yes.. In a relationship it's always nice to share things and feelings... But remember the idea is not to pressurise him and expect him to do anything out of it... Should let him understand that while expressing yourself at the same time... Rather, see if he might be expressing his love for you through other more appropriate means...? 
Cheers