help!
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yo ppl, i need sum help on this issue, thanks in adv.
my stead..
-she's vulgar (cussing:f**king hell!, son of a b**ch!,etc.)
-moreover, she's a prefect of high ranking in school
-possessive over me, (doesnt allow me to stand near/chat with girls)
-has good grades, so she xpects me to be just like her, thus she whole day turning back in class..stare at me whether i got study.. lyk every 5-15 minutes or so.. (same claSs in skool)
so here's the thing;;
-frenx around me veri irritated by her constant staring (veri frustrating)
-these frenx, more or less, are telling me i'm a fool to put up with her attitude
-they're telling me, i'm wasting my time
-this fact, i do know, but i believe there's still hope in changing her back to the way she was (of all the girl friends i met back then, she had the best attitude [2 years back] )
however//
`she doesn't think there's anything wrong with her possessiveness/vulgarities/staring/cussing at ppl/etc.
`she feels tho she may not be perfect, others are not too, so why the "HELL SHOULD I CHANGE?!" (as quoted)
`she thinks that i'm just taking their side,helping em nag her
here's e drill``
+ *i dont know how to help her get out of her ego, herself!
+ *i dont wanna see her doom herself/ put her own friendships at jeopardy, after all we've been together for so long, it pains me to see her like that.
+ *and yes, miraculously, we're still together. im rather tolerant, i must say.
+ *but yes, i did cheat on her before. once. just once. but i know it's bad enough. however i feel she's just using that as a excuse to get at me.
+ *i still care for her very much and everything, and hope she'd just listen to me. -
i honestly think the problem doesnt lie with her. it is you.
can you change someone who isnt willing to change. dont waste your time. she has already told you that she thinks she doesnt need to change.
what is making you do this?
1. ego? believing you can actually change her?
2. guilt from the cheating? will this help ease the guilt? do you think this caused her to act the way she does?
3. low self-esteem? that there is nobody else you can move on to?
sometimes the best thing to do in any situation is to let go.
you are holding her back by trying to change her (back).
most of all, you are holding yourself back by not moving on with your life as you do this.
you need to give both of you a chance to be free to be the persons you want to be.
every day is a new day. move on ! -
on the contrary..i'm not being egoistic, but just the opposite;;
i'm trying to change her.like i said earlier.
for i know that she's just gonna risk isolation the way she's going, even people from other streams (i.e. NA) dislike her cause of all she've done and demands of me.
i feel it's like being pushed into a corner. me being pushed.
not that i'm guilty or wadever, but ppl do tell me that i'm too soft and sensitive to do what my common sense would tell me to do. maybe?perhaps. but i still believe in her.
don't take care & concern (perhaps love, if u agree) for ego and guilt.
no offense pal =)
EDIT: sorrie, i missed out on one point.
no one else to move on? quite the opposite actually. there's quite a few good catches (girlx) i hang out with after skool and stuff. their characters' better than hers, too.
BUT i'll stick by all that i said.
i Believe in Her. -
Originally posted by teasixten:on the contrary..i'm not being egoistic, but just the opposite;;
i'm trying to change her.like i said earlier.
for i know that she's just gonna risk isolation the way she's going, even people from other streams (i.e. NA) dislike her cause of all she've done and demands of me.
i feel it's like being pushed into a corner. me being pushed.
not that i'm guilty or wadever, but ppl do tell me that i'm too soft and sensitive to do what my common sense would tell me to do. maybe?perhaps. but i still believe in her.
don't take care & concern (perhaps love, if u agree) for ego and guilt.
no offense pal =)
EDIT: sorrie, i missed out on one point.
no one else to move on? quite the opposite actually. there's quite a few good catches (girlx) i hang out with after skool and stuff. their characters' better than hers, too.
BUT i'll stick by all that i said.
i Believe in Her.
How old are the both of you? -
Do not attempt to change a person, especially when she thinks her behavior and personality is perfectly fine. On the contrary, ask yourself this question..
why are you changing her? for her own good?
in a relationship, both parties shd try to accept each other's gd points and bad points, and NOT TRY TO CHANGE EACH OTHER INTO THE PERSON THEY DESIRE.
if you can't accept him/her, leave.. for the good of both parties... rather than suffer everyday, thinking abt his/her flaws and how to change him/her into a better person(the person you desire). 
people do change.. if she used to be very gd 2 yrs back, there might be a chance for her to become who she used to be..
BUT... the problem now is that she doesn't find anything wrong with herself, understand? 
that's the toughest part... -
if you really want to be with her, then accept all her flaws...Originally posted by teasixten:on the contrary..i'm not being egoistic, but just the opposite;;
i'm trying to change her.like i said earlier.
for i know that she's just gonna risk isolation the way she's going, even people from other streams (i.e. NA) dislike her cause of all she've done and demands of me.
i feel it's like being pushed into a corner. me being pushed.
not that i'm guilty or wadever, but ppl do tell me that i'm too soft and sensitive to do what my common sense would tell me to do. maybe?perhaps. but i still believe in her.
don't take care & concern (perhaps love, if u agree) for ego and guilt.
no offense pal =)
EDIT: sorrie, i missed out on one point.
no one else to move on? quite the opposite actually. there's quite a few good catches (girlx) i hang out with after skool and stuff. their characters' better than hers, too.
BUT i'll stick by all that i said.
i Believe in Her.
there's no use being together when you are unhappy abt her... it'll make you feel miserable... as i mentioned before, when that person thinks that he/she is perfectly fine, no changes will be made... even if there were, those bad habits will come back again... trust me... i used to tell myself and my friends that, I HAVE FAITH IN HIM. I BELIEVE ONE DAY HE'LL CHANGE. TO CHANGE INTO A BETTER PERSON. in the end? i waited miracles to happen for 1.5 yrs.... luckily i gave up... now, im very happy with my present bf... 
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good for u...Originally posted by sunny_day:if you really want to be with her, then accept all her flaws... there's no use being together when you are unhappy abt her... it'll make you feel miserable... as i mentioned before, when that person thinks that he/she is perfectly fine, no changes will be made... even if there were, those bad habits will come back again... trust me... i used to tell myself and my friends that, I HAVE FAITH IN HIM. I BELIEVE ONE DAY HE'LL CHANGE. TO CHANGE INTO A BETTER PERSON. in the end? i waited miracles to happen for 1.5 yrs.... luckily i gave up... now, im very happy with my present bf...
aiya...can compromise then togther...cannot then break lo...now tis century harden can find a gal or guy tat can totally endure others' bad ting. -
She changed after you betrayed her??she might still be blaming you for it..thus her attidute..its hard to gain ones trust back once it is broken before..this might be her punishment for you..
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Congratulations, seems like you are made for each other.
Well, so far it seems to me that you are able to accept her for who she is. What your friends commented are not important, what is important is how you actually felt towards her. If you still can put up with her all this while and in the future, you could consider having a future with her.
You can't change a person who doesn't want to change.
Just continue to love and care for her like you usually does, her poor character doesn't usually mean doom...so don't worry about it. In fact, I guess she is fiercely independent herself. Correct?
Think what you could do now is to adjust yourself and get used to her for who she is.
If you love someone, you will subconsciously change to suit him/her whether you realise it or not. I guess you will need to wait for her to subconsciously change for you.
Make her fall deeper in love with you if you really desire changes in her. Be more independent than her. Good luck.