The Humiliation and Harsh Criticism I must bear...:(
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As I expected one day this will happen. But I did nor expect it will happen so badly. My Relatives started to call to enquire about my results.
My Mum answered their calls in a manner that left me speechless and betrayed.
Firstly she ranted on and on on my inability to score, after that she rub sulphur in my wound by cricticising me badly. Not once did she put an unbias word about me to my relatives. When I heard the conversation...I was stunned. I never imagined that she could say such things. Its really unbelievable yet it is something that I expected. 
Suddenly my doubts are back to haunt me...My relationship with my mum has now taken a steep dive.
I used to be able to chat so merrily with her. Now, she doesnt even want to talk to me and I feel that I have nothing to say to her also....oh well..all good things must come to an end. Now, Im starting to believe that Im accursed Nowadays I just stay out late with my friends...I feel much better when hanging out with them at least I dun have to bother about what my mum has to say about me. I recall the times when my mum would be happy to sit and listen to me talk...but its not gonna happen anymore Im now quite an introverted person. Its a shocking change to my life just becos of one result slip Sadnees and Grief seems to be revolving me right now...its so morbidly depressing to hear the sarcarstic comments by the person whom you love most... Im so upset and dissapointed... But I really cant blame my Mum for this cos most of my cousins score 250 and above for their PSLE and are in The top 5 schs. Even my older cousin is In VJC...and what am I? Applying into a poly? What a joke man... And to think everyone thought I had so much potential to excel...I think I cant take it anymore... -
Im losing sight of the light....its fading away....
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ignore lor..why shld u let ur mother criticism or judgement hurt u?
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u're kidding me. wats ur o level score? how many points?
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Bcos Im shocked...what she said almost amounted to betrayal...Im very close to her and suddenly this happens...Originally posted by laurence82:ignore lor..why shld u let ur mother criticism or judgement hurt u? -
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\Originally posted by dumbdumb!:u're kidding me. wats ur o level score? how many points?
19 pts for L1R4 and no distinctions...I have no idea why my mum keeps repeating the "NO DISTINCTIONS" to me... -
Don't feel sad anymore! Your mom is acting wrongly...she doesn't know how to handle your relatives. Dun blame her. She is probably at a loss too and she have to handle your relative, not you.
So long as you have a place to study, do it. A lot of rough things in life are a blessing in disguise. I have encounter ppl who graduated with Honours turn out to be nothing but scumbags. Their educational certificate only mean one thing. They can study and pass exams, Thats all!!
Its what you can do to make a different in your life and other ppl's life........not what grade you get and how much you earn.
Cheer up and make the best of it !
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Halt! There's always a light at the end of the tunnel. Now, I want you to hold and keep that faith.
Do you know that everyone has a purpose in life? And that everyone of us has to fulfill that purpose? Your relatives may be doing better than you as your mom has perceived. However, there is still hope.
Right now, all you can do is to go for what interest you most and do the things you like to do. You are still young, so it's not too late to go all out to explore and discover your potential and talents.
Be brave; be strong. And you must have an objective of what you want to do or achieve in life, otherwise you are no better off than just a dead person. The reason why you are alive is an opportunity for you to dream big dreams and achieve great things, and making a difference in people's lives and contributing to the society.
I'm sure we'll all be proud of you when you are actually fulfilling your dreams and purpose, and living your life to the sweetest. Including those that love you as well. I believe that you can do it. The only way to go now is ahead. No turning back kid.
Remember, you only live once. So make every second in your life count.
Best of Hope,
S.H.I.N. -
I dont know...now I feel damn loss...my mum isnt proud or happy with me anymore...I think I gave her false hope...I wish I had never existed...Im a bane to her life. Now my mum wants to take back wht she gives me like handphone and all that...Originally posted by Troy437:Don't feel sad anymore! Your mom is acting wrongly...she doesn't know how to handle your relatives. Dun blame her. She is probably at a loss too and he have to handle your relative, not you.
So long as you have a place to study, do it. A lot of rough things in life are a blessing in disguise. I have encounter ppl who graduated with Honours turn out to be nothing but scumbags. Their educational certificate only mean one thing. They can study and pass exams, Thats all!!
Its what you can do to make a different in your life and other ppl's life........not what grade you get and how much you earn.
Cheer up and make the best of it ! -
To think that when I was young... everyone had high hopes on me...its all just an illusion..what was all that "Best in Science" trophy and "Good Progress Award" I earned in Sec 2 and 3? Its nothing anymore...I cannot bear the humiliation. This is worse than doing sales
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WHAT? 19 POINTS? YOU LOUSY NO GOOD SON OF A.... nah kidding
i think ur mum is over-reacting. my friend got 31 points leh. u like that so upset shouldn't he go commit suicide?
relax la 19 points u go a course, scarly taht course someone of 12 points enter, u 2 will study afresh wat. start anew. then it will all depend on ur hardwork liao
dun worry -
Tell her each human being is talented in each of their own way.So wha tif you have academically inclined cousins and relatives, their path goes differently for them.Academia is not the only thing in sight.Me?I got 23 for L1R5.End of the world, I thought, especially when I entered JI.But now, I'm still heading for NUS/college like anyone of my peers that I know.Turns out that I'm only one year behind those from the JCs and I realise that life takes its own path.Right now, I enjoy photography and writing poetry a lot, things I got to love while in JI.Originally posted by shade343:I dont know...now I feel damn loss...my mum isnt proud or happy with me anymore...I think I gave her false hope...I wish I had never existed...Im a bane to her life. Now my mum wants to take back wht she gives me like handphone and all that...
So the lesson here is, there is no dead end in your road.Show your mum that you are good in other areas, but don't live a life for others as a primary reason to live or study.I wish you the best of luck yeah. -
this would have been funny if not for the fact that it is a reality...Originally posted by dumbdumb!:WHAT? 19 POINTS? YOU LOUSY NO GOOD SON OF A.... nah kidding
i think ur mum is over-reacting. my friend got 31 points leh. u like that so upset shouldn't he go commit suicide?
relax la 19 points u go a course, scarly taht course someone of 12 points enter, u 2 will study afresh wat. start anew. then it will all depend on ur hardwork liao
dun worry I was thinking of jumping but then, I saw the light. Now it seems that it is fading....... -
Don't do anything that destroy your life. Future is never certain!
I went to a good JC but have been failing my subjects like mad. Super lousy and demoralized. Some of my friends went to poly and Institute, and they end up in NUS and NTU. Got a friend who is only an ITE grad but now have a car and good job. My uncle (quite young) only have O levels, now a sales mgr and earning more than $5000 a month.
Life is a roller coaster. Some time we peaked and sometime we are down. It is just that at this junction you are not doing well only. Press on, because after every down side means that you are going up again.
Jia You! With regards to your mum, don't worry. It would be over soon. After she mumble for a while she would quiet down. The closeness both of you have is not fake. She would soon talk to you and discuss with you about the future moves. -
seriously, what to do, this is what singapore's social conditioning has done to people. and u wonder why our kids nowadays feel so disheartened about studying.
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Don't worry, I guess every Asian parents have this tendency to put too much on academic result, so if you don't score well, they will go on and on and on about it...
Mine does too. In fact my mom is still harping on me not being able to do well here, and the words she used was so harsh it feels like they are cutting into my heart at times. I keep feeling like they dun understand me, as if they just treat me as a studying machine and nothing more. I even have to resort to counselling because of this...
But I am still surviving.
I guess what I am trying to say is, to believe in yourself that one day, you will make it. Once you have that belief in you, once you are sure of what you want in life, nothing that others said to you will matter...
In the end, it is still your life you are talking about, not your parents. They are just worried about you right now I guess, and once you show them that you are capable of handling your own life, they will be rest assured...
You will face many people who will say things you do not like to hear in this world. They won't just come from your parents. So I guess what you need to do is to learn how to listen to your own thoughts and be sure of what you want. The rest can give opinions and criticism, but your life is still your own to manage in the end.
i.c.y -
......Originally posted by shade343:As I expected one day this will happen. But I did nor expect it will happen so badly. My Relatives started to call to enquire about my results.
My Mum answered their calls in a manner that left me speechless and betrayed. Firstly she ranted on and on on my inability to score, after that she rub sulphur in my wound by cricticising me badly. Not once did she put an unbias word about me to my relatives. When I heard the conversation...I was stunned. I never imagined that she could say such things. Its really unbelievable yet it is something that I expected. Suddenly my doubts are back to haunt me...My relationship with my mum has now taken a steep dive.
I used to be able to chat so merrily with her. Now, she doesnt even want to talk to me and I feel that I have nothing to say to her also....oh well..all good things must come to an end. Now, Im starting to believe that Im accursed Nowadays I just stay out late with my friends...I feel much better when hanging out with them at least I dun have to bother about what my mum has to say about me. I recall the times when my mum would be happy to sit and listen to me talk...but its not gonna happen anymore Im now quite an introverted person. Its a shocking change to my life just becos of one result slip Sadnees and Grief seems to be revolving me right now...its so morbidly depressing to hear the sarcarstic comments by the person whom you love most... Im so upset and dissapointed... But I really cant blame my Mum for this cos most of my cousins score 250 and above for their PSLE and are in The top 5 schs. Even my older cousin is In VJC...and what am I? Applying into a poly? What a joke man... And to think everyone thought I had so much potential to excel...I think I cant take it anymore...
This is just the beginning.. The rest is just what ya make out of it.... -
Dear Shade343,
I was in the same situation as u, & @ tt time, I felt as u did. Yrs later, this is wat I've learnt:
1. Ur mum expected u to do well, cosh she believed in u. She can't help being disappointed in ur results, cosh she was looking fwd to telling her frens abt ur results.
2. My mum did the same thg. Yrs later, she realised how I broke under pressure from her. I really went haywire
She's now more supportive of Bro, & even when she's disappointed, she does her best to support him.
Moral of the story:
Parents do make mistakes, juz as we children do. Yrs later, when ur mum sits down & has a tok wif u, explain to her how u felt. That was wat I did. Tell her u miss those days when u were able to speak to her freely. Understand her disappointment, & assure her u'll work harder, & do it.
These r thgs u'll need to face for awhile, perhaps yrs. I noe I did. My dad was horrible in those yrs But now we haf a gd r'ship, & he's finally proud of me : )
FeowFeowOriginally posted by shade343:As I expected one day this will happen. But I did nor expect it will happen so badly. My Relatives started to call to enquire about my results.
My Mum answered their calls in a manner that left me speechless and betrayed. Firstly she ranted on and on on my inability to score, after that she rub sulphur in my wound by cricticising me badly. Not once did she put an unbias word about me to my relatives. When I heard the conversation...I was stunned. I never imagined that she could say such things. Its really unbelievable yet it is something that I expected. Suddenly my doubts are back to haunt me...My relationship with my mum has now taken a steep dive.
I used to be able to chat so merrily with her. Now, she doesnt even want to talk to me and I feel that I have nothing to say to her also....oh well..all good things must come to an end. Now, Im starting to believe that Im accursed Nowadays I just stay out late with my friends...I feel much better when hanging out with them at least I dun have to bother about what my mum has to say about me. I recall the times when my mum would be happy to sit and listen to me talk...but its not gonna happen anymore Im now quite an introverted person. Its a shocking change to my life just becos of one result slip Sadnees and Grief seems to be revolving me right now...its so morbidly depressing to hear the sarcarstic comments by the person whom you love most... Im so upset and dissapointed... But I really cant blame my Mum for this cos most of my cousins score 250 and above for their PSLE and are in The top 5 schs. Even my older cousin is In VJC...and what am I? Applying into a poly? What a joke man... And to think everyone thought I had so much potential to excel...I think I cant take it anymore... -
I was an a student... but big deal. My dad's first line when he see report book is : you fail again ah, when you coming out to work ar?
Take with a pinch of salt and know what you want to do and where you want to go and what you want to be... Parents are not perfect and faultless. Its really for us to lear from their mistakes. -
wot JI? jemiah islamia terrorist group?Originally posted by LazerLordz:Tell her each human being is talented in each of their own way.So wha tif you have academically inclined cousins and relatives, their path goes differently for them.Academia is not the only thing in sight.Me?I got 23 for L1R5.End of the world, I thought, especially when I entered JI.But now, I'm still heading for NUS/college like anyone of my peers that I know.Turns out that I'm only one year behind those from the JCs and I realise that life takes its own path.Right now, I enjoy photography and writing poetry a lot, things I got to love while in JI.
So the lesson here is, there is no dead end in your road.Show your mum that you are good in other areas, but don't live a life for others as a primary reason to live or study.I wish you the best of luck yeah.
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then tell ure mother to take o levels arh
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wow.. ouch..
honestly i dont know why she is so upset...
cos.. your results aren't all that bad what
the summit is always there for you to conquer
different people walk different ways up..
doesnt mean only one way...
Prove to your mom that this is a temporary set back to you
and you won't let your results stop you from achieving in life
there's SO MANY poly grads who do well
and honestly, I am a JC student who went to uni with a lot of poly grads
and you notice that many poly grads who are focused, tend also to be
a lot more resourceful and efficient.
i think it must hurt a lot...
hiding from your mom and letting the frustrations bottle up
isnt a solution... cos ur mom will also be more resentful
Moms will start to hink "results so bad still got mood go out play with friends"
that's how their minds work
they dont understand that you are feeling so hurt cos of what she said
also.. when she say all those tthings to the relatives
perhaps she also under pressure by them to be self effacing until too much liao.
Let her know how you feel honestly,
and tell her what's over is over.. what she want you to do?
Just make the best of it lah. and her support is integral to that.
if she still upset.. well at least you tried to bridge the problem
ultimately mother is mother ba..
sometimes just tendency to be emotional...
but u know she still loves u -
I know it's easier said than done, but the best idea is to ignore what your mother said.
My father has always looked down on me because I never could do as well as my elder siblings. While my siblings got 251 and 268 respectively for their PSLE, I could 'only' get 226. In addition, I often got bullied and picked on by bullies.... all this gave him the impression that I'm weak, useless, and a good-for-nothing.
Once when I was 12, he shouted at me, 'What's wrong with you? Why can't you be like everyone else?!?!?!'
Translation: 'I'm ashamed of who you are.... It's wrong to be the person you are.'
That was 10 years ago. I'll be 22 this coming June. I still found that comment really hurtful.
I grew up thinking that my father was right all along and that I was indeed slow and weak. Maybe I am indeed too slow to figure out that he was wrong.
Anyway, I ended up thrashing both my siblings at both the GCE O and A Levels. Perhaps that'll give him some food for thought.
I just hope that I can have the strength to forgive my father for what he said on that day in 1995. I pray that someday, I can be forgiven too for thinking badly of my father.
Don't listen to your mother and end up like me.... -
my older bro was considered a genius.....
but my dad didnt really make an example out of him nor did he run me down becos i was average........i was good with my hands and had an analytical mind
even when relatives start parading their children during hari raya...my dad just gave them the couldnt be bothered kinda attitude...even if u are so smart...are u really happy for ureself?find that happiness in u rather than always making people happy..
u shouldnt worry of wat people think...there are blessings in disguise...
failing is not merely failing...
it just makes u better inside...