she lied...and i found out..
-
she lied and she was so good at it i was convinced..but i found out that the fact was otherwise..and i love her very much..but it seems that i'm getting cautious when is her next lie..
And everything she does or speak seems to me that it may not be the truth afterall..what should i do? It affecting the other parts of my life!!
But i treasure her and this relationship so much i want to work things out but....!!
How can i trust her again? I dont trust easily but i was so dam convinced for that previous incident now i'm feel scare of trusting her...
How to trust her again? Help me please!! -
I guess its within yourself, you have to see whether your love for her is deep enough to overcome the lies that she had committed, and trust her again.
-
I guess its within yourself, you have to see whether your love for her is deep enough to overcome the lies that she had committed, and trust her again.
-
Tell her u found out she lied. Let her know u are very upset & u want her to be truthful.
If she cannot do that, then no point continuing the r/s. -
agreeOriginally posted by gerrykoh:Tell her u found out she lied. Let her know u are very upset & u want her to be truthful.
If she cannot do that, then no point continuing the r/s. -
if u truely love her, i think u should give her another chance no matter wat she has done
-
x2.Originally posted by gerrykoh:Tell her u found out she lied. Let her know u are very upset & u want her to be truthful.
If she cannot do that, then no point continuing the r/s.
U decide if you want to give her another chance, if nt, just move on. -
thks ppl for all yr precious inputs..
I have told her i know she had lied...and she told me the truth in tears and apologised for keeping from me, reason being she's afraid i might not be able to handle it and also its unnecessary for me to know...
i have since forgiven her but cant seem to forget and the incident is affecting me...and i could sense strains between us due to my fears of being lied again..
i would nt want to give her up as she's a gal less ordinary and i could see a future with her..which i dont usually experience with my previous GFs..
This is a situation which i wan to handle carefully as i would nt wanna regret..with or without her...
cheers -
What did she lie to you abt?
I think thats a key point.
-
...i'm in fact more concerned with the fact she's good at lying rather than the lie...as i would nt wanna find another skeletion in the closet and get pierced by its freaking bones..it hurts..Originally posted by RSP:What did she lie to you abt?
I think thats a key point.
i am open to forgiving but cant forget and its tormenting when you wanna protect yourself yet you love the person...i am very sure she loves me very much as well and the lie was meant more to minimize misunderstanding but it seem to backfired her...
i appreciate her effort but the act of lying bit me just as bad as the backfire... -
My condolecence,Originally posted by brownie6222:she lied and she was so good at it i was convinced..but i found out that the fact was otherwise..and i love her very much..but it seems that i'm getting cautious when is her next lie..
And everything she does or speak seems to me that it may not be the truth afterall..what should i do? It affecting the other parts of my life!!
But i treasure her and this relationship so much i want to work things out but....!!
How can i trust her again? I dont trust easily but i was so dam convinced for that previous incident now i'm feel scare of trusting her...
How to trust her again? Help me please!!
in any r/s, a certain degree of trust is essential to keep the relationship special and unique
if u found out that she lied
then it must haf been something that she really wanted you not to know
perhaps something embaressing or something else that she`s guilty abt
if the thing that she lied to you abt really makes u really angry
that could haf been a reason why she kept it from you in the 1st place
unless, it`s her lie that made you so much dissapointed
i`ll suggest to you that u haf a heart to heart talk to her
and tell her that she`s safe to tell u anything that u might hear
Sometimes even truths can be hurtful
if you really reached an extend of not trusting her at all
then i`ll suggest you let go of the r/s
constant self protection from her words and action makes u wary of her
and thus puts an invisible wall btw the 2 of you
and the r/s will tend to be weakend to the stage you`ll not feel anything more for her.. cuz u`llbe thinking how and when she`ll next cheat on you
that will makelife rather miserable for everyone
have a great chat
get to know wat you want out of the both of you all
make her feel safe and she`ll open up to you
Cheers and gd luck
BaByBoY -
Sometimes there are thing you dont want to talk about, and it shouldn't be considered lying.
-
found out huh? DING! DING! DING! we have a winner!
-
So were they 'white lies'?Originally posted by brownie6222:...i'm in fact more concerned with the fact she's good at lying rather than the lie...as i would nt wanna find another skeletion in the closet and get pierced by its freaking bones..it hurts..
i am open to forgiving but cant forget and its tormenting when you wanna protect yourself yet you love the person...i am very sure she loves me very much as well and the lie was meant more to minimize misunderstanding but it seem to backfired her...
i appreciate her effort but the act of lying bit me just as bad as the backfire...
Try to keep an open mind about things.. Not all lyings are bad, and not all are that serious... Try to take things easy... Afterall, this world ain't all about the truth... Otherwise it just might not be as beautiful as it seems to be now...?
-
Actions speak louder than words. Other than merely "I'm sorry", does she feel remorseful over the hurt inflicted on you???
She has to earn back your trust now. Not just by paying lip service. Let her know of your pain and insecurity. If she has reassure you thru' actions, that's a positive sign. It implies that she cares for you and wanna work things out again. On your part, let time proves her sincerity.
It takes two people to have a happy r'ship. -
hey lovely ppl,
Thanks again!!
It was nothing serious, nothing near to cheating on me behind my back or secret dating sort of thingy...i would considered it as a form a 'white lie' which is suppose to build than to tear...but it just backfire and caused us some time to go thru some time explaining...she did feel remorseful on dat day but the next day, everything went back to lovey-dovey mode..nothing close to dwelling on what happened, nothing mentioned to help build my trust again...is this good or bad?
However the episode just left a shadow of sort in my impression of her style of dealing with certain things..which i would rather it did not cast dat kinda shadow..there's a wall now...sometime i do ponder when i hear ' i love you'
I want to move on to trust her but may take a while...maybe quite a while...
after much said..do you think she deserves a 2nd chance? -
Personally i think she deserves a 2nd chance since you mentioned it's only a white lie. If nothing near to infidelity, then it should be fine.
Of cos, you gotta convey your inner feelings to her. Otherwise, she would never know what you are thinking. After all, communication is the fundamental aspect to knowing each other deeper and better. -
Like I've said, try to take it easy dude...Originally posted by brownie6222:hey lovely ppl,
Thanks again!!
It was nothing serious, nothing near to cheating on me behind my back or secret dating sort of thingy...i would considered it as a form a 'white lie' which is suppose to build than to tear...but it just backfire and caused us some time to go thru some time explaining...she did feel remorseful on dat day but the next day, everything went back to lovey-dovey mode..nothing close to dwelling on what happened, nothing mentioned to help build my trust again...is this good or bad?
However the episode just left a shadow of sort in my impression of her style of dealing with certain things..which i would rather it did not cast dat kinda shadow..there's a wall now...sometime i do ponder when i hear ' i love you'
I want to move on to trust her but may take a while...maybe quite a while...
after much said..do you think she deserves a 2nd chance?
Thinking too much would definitely leads to DISTRUST in a relationship, and without much trust in a relationship, it'll probably just have to wait and fall apart...? -
If love is only about trust and respect then it would be as easy as ABC...
-
It's hard to trust ur other party again and it will take some time to get over it.Originally posted by brownie6222:she lied and she was so good at it i was convinced..but i found out that the fact was otherwise..and i love her very much..but it seems that i'm getting cautious when is her next lie..
And everything she does or speak seems to me that it may not be the truth afterall..what should i do? It affecting the other parts of my life!!
But i treasure her and this relationship so much i want to work things out but....!!
How can i trust her again? I dont trust easily but i was so dam convinced for that previous incident now i'm feel scare of trusting her...
How to trust her again? Help me please!!
But since you already decided to give the r/s another try, somehow you just have to try to "prevent" that sort of thinking (i.e. that the next thing she says or do is a lie).
It's not easy (i know) but u just have to try... -
Well.. Growing a plant ain't all just about watering it? But you can almost bet for sure if ya don't water it, it'll probably just die...?Originally posted by Nelstar:If love is only about trust and respect then it would be as easy as ABC... " -
If the trust is not there, it's very hard to keep a r/s going..
btw, BBB where are u??? Long time no see u online!!!!