Destiny of a loner
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This is probably an extension of my previous post, where the greatest deficit of my life is a seemingly non-existent social life--- both friendship & relationship.
I jus needed to get something off my chest, an incident which should be the cause of all the consequent problems I faced with maintaining a friendship or relationship. 4 years ago, I had a best friend Y whom I grew up with. We went through the same secondary school, stayed around a 10 mins walk from each other & I was proud to have such a friend in my growing years. We stood by each other through being rejections by gals, devastating break ups & could pop over to each otherÂ’s place in the middle of the night with jus a phone call requesting for company. We basically had an untold agreement that no matter what crisis may arise in future, we would at least still have each other.
After leaving secondary school, we saw less of each of other but routinely catch up every few months or so. After the completion of my A levels, a peculiar change occurred. I was going thru a depressive period from a recent break up, & for the 1st time, I felt this great emotional distance from Y. For some reasons, I felt Y was deliberately keeping a distance from me this time. There was no quarrels, no major issues but Y jus seemed inexplicably, quietly resolved to exclude me from his life.
Shortly after, I was enlisted into the army. We had some talks before that, but his answers were brief & vague. I never saw the best fren of my life since then. I shuddered each time at the thought that a friendship so long & significant could end just like that; people whom I was so close to could jus shut me out from their life so inexplicably. I guessed this was when I developed the notion that there was something inherently wrong with me--- that people would jus walk out of my life especially when I needed them most.
I always though any related feelings would have eroded after 4 long years. But many a times during festive seasons or long vacations, memories of the incident & an overwhelming sense of failure still grips me. I hate myself for being so weak willed, for being such a wimp.
Just completed the 1st year of a degree course, I finally found an area of study which I enjoyed. But as hard as IÂ’m trying to keep working the other aspects, this particular deficient of my life seems to creep back from time to time.
Relationship-wise, I fared no better. Looking back, I jus felt that none of the gals I dated so far rely loved me. It was always me putting in the effort, any slight let-up on my part, I knew the relationship would go nowhere. Simple bliss so inherent in other peopleÂ’s relationship always seemed elusive to me -
didn't read ur previous post, but thot i will jus give me 5-cents worth. hope u dun mind...
guess there is always a time when relationship (be it bgr or just pure buddies) will fade. As pple grow, their environment changes, their thinking changes and their feeling changes as well. I hv come to accept that relationships can fade even if u put in ur fair share of effort to sustain it. it takes 2 to clap; one-sided relationship can't work. While frens are important, it is imperative that we do not end up too dependent on frens as this will merely add burden to the other party. At the end of the day, no frens owe it to u to listen or stick by u. it's still urself at the end of it. Lonely it may sounds, but by doing that, u accept the fact that fate ("yuan" as we chinese call it) may end and u hv to go on wif ur own life, which will entail meeting more new frens.
ur fren has moved on to his own life... u hv to let it go and live ur own as well. dwelling on the past too much will oni make u more painful and lonely.
As for gf, well sometimes if it isn't meant to be, u can't force. take it as good experience for we grow thru' the various experiences we have had. it just mean that ur special one is still waiting for you some where in a corner of the earth... as u have been waiting for her as well..
so, do cheer up, for u are bound to find her... one day... -
Originally posted by john nash:
Yes... Listen to 'Flow'... Get more friends... Get new friends... Good if you can keep the old ones, nonetheless.. Nothing's stopping you from making the new ones... Friends don't owe you anything to stick by your side... If you find that there's something wrong with you, reflect on yourself... Mooding on such thoughts would probably only make it twice as bad...
This is probably an extension of my previous post, where the greatest deficit of my life is a seemingly non-existent social life--- both friendship & relationship.
I jus needed to get something off my chest, [b]an incident which should be the cause of all the consequent problems I faced with maintaining a friendship or relationship. 4 years ago, I had a best friend Y whom I grew up with. We went through the same secondary school, stayed around a 10 mins walk from each other & I was proud to have such a friend in my growing years. We stood by each other through being rejections by gals, devastating break ups & could pop over to each otherÂ’s place in the middle of the night with jus a phone call requesting for company. We basically had an untold agreement that no matter what crisis may arise in future, we would at least still have each other.
After leaving secondary school, we saw less of each of other but routinely catch up every few months or so. After the completion of my A levels, a peculiar change occurred. I was going thru a depressive period from a recent break up, & for the 1st time, I felt this great emotional distance from Y. For some reasons, I felt Y was deliberately keeping a distance from me this time. There was no quarrels, no major issues but Y jus seemed inexplicably, quietly resolved to exclude me from his life.
Shortly after, I was enlisted into the army. We had some talks before that, but his answers were brief & vague. I never saw the best fren of my life since then. I shuddered each time at the thought that a friendship so long & significant could end just like that; people whom I was so close to could jus shut me out from their life so inexplicably. I guessed this was when I developed the notion that there was something inherently wrong with me--- that people would jus walk out of my life especially when I needed them most.
I always though any related feelings would have eroded after 4 long years. But many a times during festive seasons or long vacations, memories of the incident & an overwhelming sense of failure still grips me. I hate myself for being so weak willed, for being such a wimp.
Just completed the 1st year of a degree course, I finally found an area of study which I enjoyed. But as hard as IÂ’m trying to keep working the other aspects, this particular deficient of my life seems to creep back from time to time.
Relationship-wise, I fared no better. Looking back, I jus felt that none of the gals I dated so far rely loved me. It was always me putting in the effort, any slight let-up on my part, I knew the relationship would go nowhere. Simple bliss so inherent in other peopleÂ’s relationship always seemed elusive to me
[/b]
Focus on your studies, know more friends from school? About the girls you've dated... Reflect on how you're treating them... Are you 'overly giving in'...? Personally, I think you're just stressing yourself too much in most of the relationships you try to handle...? Try to relax a bit...? 'Simple bliss' which you see in others' relationship is what they've created and maintained... Often than not, it's nothing which just falls from the sky.... -
By the way, do join us for outings if you like?
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only if you're not going...Originally posted by Devil1976:By the way, do join us for outings if you like? 
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If I don't go then you'll go issit..??Originally posted by mahai102:only if you're not going... 
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Hi, I almost can't believe that your fate is similar to mine. I had a couple of very very good pals whom I always hanged out with and shared our woes and happiness all the time. Although we came from different schs, we were really very close like sisters during our teens. But after some time, people do change and after I turned 21yrs old, things turned out so differently. All of us lead our own individual lives. Alot of unpleasant things happened. Sometimes I wonder whether it could be my fault that things turned out this way. Or maybe my expectation of friendship is too high? But I do blamed them for not treasuring our friendship alot. I do not want a plain friendship, I wanted good and pleasant friendship which is meant to last. Haizz..... I had decided to stop all contacts with them. Great disappointment. Efforts should be done to make our friendship good and steady mah.
Same for all of my past bfs. ... disappointment too.
I guess life has its ups and downs. We try not to take things too hard. Too depressive. -
Yup after the incident, I kinda developed the notion that there is somethk fundamentally wrong with meÂ… serious character flaw etcOriginally posted by flowergal:Hi, I almost can't believe that your fate is similar to mine. I had a couple of very very good pals whom I always hanged out with and shared our woes and happiness all the time. Although we came from different schs, we were really very close like sisters during our teens. But after some time, people do change and after I turned 21yrs old, things turned out so differently. All of us lead our own individual lives. Alot of unpleasant things happened. Sometimes I wonder whether it could be my fault that things turned out this way. Or maybe my expectation of friendship is too high? But I do blamed them for not treasuring our friendship alot. I do not want a plain friendship, I wanted good and pleasant friendship which is meant to last. Haizz..... I had decided to stop all contacts with them. Great disappointment. Efforts should be done to make our friendship good and steady mah.
Same for all of my past bfs. ... disappointment too.
I guess life has its ups and downs. We try not to take things too hard. Too depressive.
That rely affected most of my subsequent relationships & most of all, how I feel as a person.
At a point I even felt that most of frens hate meÂ… until 2 incidents that occurred recently. I bump into 2 old frens (A & B) & one ex-girlfriend on separate occasions. And they actually appeared pleasantly surprised to see me. In fact the frens actually saw me & came over to greet me.
The only thing was I had on many previous occasions asked A out but he wld asked appeared tired or disinterested. I guess he preferred B companyÂ…
so maybe they dun hate me after allÂ… I guess its easy to become overly sensitive after many subtle rejections. -
Long vacation
Jus completed my 1st year course & will be having an extended vacation from this week onwardsÂ…
Whilst IÂ’m looking forward to it, weekends & extended hols tend to make me uneasy, especially when loneliness & depression starts creeping when u least expect it.
Wiser this time, IÂ’ve start making plans for some meaningful activities during the last week of sch (when everyone is desperately studyingÂ…) ---- example: finding a part-time job, taking a short course or a sport where I can do alone. But guess that does not change the fundamental fact that IÂ’ve become quite dis-connected with people socially, seemed destined to be a loner?
I guess all could I do now is simply to study hard, work hardÂ… my only glimmer of hope lies in a distant future where IÂ’ll eventually find a partner & settle down. By then, IÂ’m sure IÂ’ll be joining some SDU or matchmaking agency & marrying an accountant or somethkÂ…
guess i'm jus rambling... nt many ppl gona relate to the world of a loner like mine, but i jus gona con't writing 'cos i enjoyed it..
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haha i know how u feel la. but i learnt smth from my attachment friends. friends will always come and go, everywhere u go, you will make new friends, that's life.
relationshipwise.. i guess be more confident of yourself ba. doesn't mean abit of problem means boom ba, sure haywire.. must learn to relax ok? you've only got 1 shot at life, live without regrets, that's the best.
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Don't be a loner!
Come here and see
http://sgforums.com/?action=thread_display&thread_id=121588
2 in 1 ah ... make friend, get your bazhi read ... hey what more you want...
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Don't be a loner and get your destiny changed!
Come here and see
http://sgforums.com/?action=thread_display&thread_id=121588
2 in 1 ah ... make friend, get your bazhi read ... hey what more you want... -
I wanna join in as well... me need to get my life changed.
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Friends comes and friends goes.
Just like the song November Rain "Nothing last forver even in cold November Rain"
My best buddy treated me like a "CARROT HEAD" when he needs money or your help you can see him fly around me like bees to honey. Almost 80 percent of the times when we are going out I am paying. He would only paid for cheap stuffs and expensive stuffs I am the one who always paying. He always want to go resturant to have dinner or lunch but I am the one always paying!!!
Can you image? He said he wanted to eat Japanese Ramen. And so we went to then Japanese resturant. One bowl of Ramen is 20 bucks. I only drank a bottle of mineral water that costed me 7 bucks (I can get it 80 cents at other shops). Here comes the best part, after eating...he said " I got no money...you go pay" I still have to give him 50 bucks and passed it to him under the table so that he could look good infront of everyone in the jap resturant.
This is only one of the incident. There was a time he told me he lost his mobile phone and asked me if I have extra to sell to him? I passed him one and told him he can pay me later. Around 2 months later when I asked him for the money...guess whats the reply? "YOU EARNING SO MUCH STILL DARE TO ASK MONEY FROM ME??? GO DIE LAH!" Yeah this is some kind of buddy eh???
I was mad for what he said...but I never took it to heart. Untill recently..
Kept asking me to go drinking. Once a while is ok. But its like 3 times a week and each session cost around 200 bucks. Which is to mean 600 a week! I told him I am not going cos I am tired and do not feel like going. When he get drunk he would messaged me message like " I AM SUCCESSFUL...I JUST SOMEONE TO DRINK WITH ME.....IS IT SO HARD? DON'T TELL ME YOUR KIND OF JOB 8-5 IS SOMEKIND OF BLESSING? Of cos I was damn pissed off with this remark but I knew he was drunk thats why I did not take it too heart.
But he went too far....one day he asked me to go drink again i just replied I got no money. His replied was "I don't understand why you always SO NO MONEY?
go drink only thats all. I told him I am not as rich as he is and successful! Who can earn so much and spend one month pay in less than 5 days His replied was " I ONE PERSON CAN SUPPORT WHOLE AMILY! YOU CAN OR NOT?". End of the month, same old thing again..." you got money to borrow me"
For your info he is in MLM. Attending wedding still gotta borrow money from me to pay for ANGPOW??? End of wedding still sms me to transfer money to his account so he could go CHEONG after that????
I decided....Its time this shit must stop cos I had enough since Sec 1 till now. More than 10 years of friendship. End of god sake please don't call me BROTHER BROTHER! Cos I am not your brother! When he needs money! I am his Brother....
This feeling really sucks man!....
but...life still carries on......it would not stop for us. -
Sux man.... Such a sucker for a fren...... y u still bother to maintain friendship with him? its simply not worthwhile....... move on, c less of him....... it will do u better than to stick with such a person for life[/code][/quote] -
When i first read your post, i tot it was sum kind of joke...but then after reading a little more i realized it wasn't. I really dont know what you were thinking spending all that money on ur "buddy" and for 10 LONG YEARS!!! You sounded as if u were planning 2 marry him!Originally posted by Seventh_Son:Friends comes and friends goes.
Just like the song November Rain "Nothing last forver even in cold November Rain"
My best buddy treated me like a "CARROT HEAD" when he needs money or your help you can see him fly around me like bees to honey. Almost 80 percent of the times when we are going out I am paying. He would only paid for cheap stuffs and expensive stuffs I am the one who always paying. He always want to go resturant to have dinner or lunch but I am the one always paying!!!
Can you image? He said he wanted to eat Japanese Ramen. And so we went to then Japanese resturant. One bowl of Ramen is 20 bucks. I only drank a bottle of mineral water that costed me 7 bucks (I can get it 80 cents at other shops). Here comes the best part, after eating...he said " I got no money...you go pay" I still have to give him 50 bucks and passed it to him under the table so that he could look good infront of everyone in the jap resturant.
This is only one of the incident. There was a time he told me he lost his mobile phone and asked me if I have extra to sell to him? I passed him one and told him he can pay me later. Around 2 months later when I asked him for the money...guess whats the reply? "YOU EARNING SO MUCH STILL DARE TO ASK MONEY FROM ME??? GO DIE LAH!" Yeah this is some kind of buddy eh???
I was mad for what he said...but I never took it to heart. Untill recently..
Kept asking me to go drinking. Once a while is ok. But its like 3 times a week and each session cost around 200 bucks. Which is to mean 600 a week! I told him I am not going cos I am tired and do not feel like going. When he get drunk he would messaged me message like " I AM SUCCESSFUL...I JUST SOMEONE TO DRINK WITH ME.....IS IT SO HARD? DON'T TELL ME YOUR KIND OF JOB 8-5 IS SOMEKIND OF BLESSING? Of cos I was damn pissed off with this remark but I knew he was drunk thats why I did not take it too heart.
But he went too far....one day he asked me to go drink again i just replied I got no money. His replied was "I don't understand why you always SO NO MONEY?
go drink only thats all. I told him I am not as rich as he is and successful! Who can earn so much and spend one month pay in less than 5 days His replied was " I ONE PERSON CAN SUPPORT WHOLE AMILY! YOU CAN OR NOT?". End of the month, same old thing again..." you got money to borrow me"
For your info he is in MLM. Attending wedding still gotta borrow money from me to pay for ANGPOW??? End of wedding still sms me to transfer money to his account so he could go CHEONG after that????
I decided....Its time this shit must stop cos I had enough since Sec 1 till now. More than 10 years of friendship. End of god sake please don't call me BROTHER BROTHER! Cos I am not your brother! When he needs money! I am his Brother....
This feeling really sucks man!....
but...life still carries on......it would not stop for us.
Do be more careful next time ok? If someone blows up whenever u refuse his request 4 help, you're probably better off not helping him. -
When i first read your post, i tot it was sum kind of joke...but then after reading a little more i realized it wasn't. I really dont know what you were thinking spending all that money on ur "buddy" and for 10 LONG YEARS!!! You sounded as if u were planning 2 marry him!Originally posted by Seventh_Son:Friends comes and friends goes.
Just like the song November Rain "Nothing last forver even in cold November Rain"
My best buddy treated me like a "CARROT HEAD" when he needs money or your help you can see him fly around me like bees to honey. Almost 80 percent of the times when we are going out I am paying. He would only paid for cheap stuffs and expensive stuffs I am the one who always paying. He always want to go resturant to have dinner or lunch but I am the one always paying!!!
Can you image? He said he wanted to eat Japanese Ramen. And so we went to then Japanese resturant. One bowl of Ramen is 20 bucks. I only drank a bottle of mineral water that costed me 7 bucks (I can get it 80 cents at other shops). Here comes the best part, after eating...he said " I got no money...you go pay" I still have to give him 50 bucks and passed it to him under the table so that he could look good infront of everyone in the jap resturant.
This is only one of the incident. There was a time he told me he lost his mobile phone and asked me if I have extra to sell to him? I passed him one and told him he can pay me later. Around 2 months later when I asked him for the money...guess whats the reply? "YOU EARNING SO MUCH STILL DARE TO ASK MONEY FROM ME??? GO DIE LAH!" Yeah this is some kind of buddy eh???
I was mad for what he said...but I never took it to heart. Untill recently..
Kept asking me to go drinking. Once a while is ok. But its like 3 times a week and each session cost around 200 bucks. Which is to mean 600 a week! I told him I am not going cos I am tired and do not feel like going. When he get drunk he would messaged me message like " I AM SUCCESSFUL...I JUST SOMEONE TO DRINK WITH ME.....IS IT SO HARD? DON'T TELL ME YOUR KIND OF JOB 8-5 IS SOMEKIND OF BLESSING? Of cos I was damn pissed off with this remark but I knew he was drunk thats why I did not take it too heart.
But he went too far....one day he asked me to go drink again i just replied I got no money. His replied was "I don't understand why you always SO NO MONEY?
go drink only thats all. I told him I am not as rich as he is and successful! Who can earn so much and spend one month pay in less than 5 days His replied was " I ONE PERSON CAN SUPPORT WHOLE AMILY! YOU CAN OR NOT?". End of the month, same old thing again..." you got money to borrow me"
For your info he is in MLM. Attending wedding still gotta borrow money from me to pay for ANGPOW??? End of wedding still sms me to transfer money to his account so he could go CHEONG after that????
I decided....Its time this shit must stop cos I had enough since Sec 1 till now. More than 10 years of friendship. End of god sake please don't call me BROTHER BROTHER! Cos I am not your brother! When he needs money! I am his Brother....
This feeling really sucks man!....
but...life still carries on......it would not stop for us. Do be more careful next time ok? If someone blows up whenever u refuse his request 4 help, you're probably better off not helping him. -
When i first read your post, i tot it was sum kind of joke...but then after reading a little more i realized it wasn't. I really dont know what you were thinking spending all that money on ur "buddy" and for 10 LONG YEARS!!! You sounded as if u were planning 2 marry him!Originally posted by Seventh_Son:Friends comes and friends goes.
Just like the song November Rain "Nothing last forver even in cold November Rain"
My best buddy treated me like a "CARROT HEAD" when he needs money or your help you can see him fly around me like bees to honey. Almost 80 percent of the times when we are going out I am paying. He would only paid for cheap stuffs and expensive stuffs I am the one who always paying. He always want to go resturant to have dinner or lunch but I am the one always paying!!!
Can you image? He said he wanted to eat Japanese Ramen. And so we went to then Japanese resturant. One bowl of Ramen is 20 bucks. I only drank a bottle of mineral water that costed me 7 bucks (I can get it 80 cents at other shops). Here comes the best part, after eating...he said " I got no money...you go pay" I still have to give him 50 bucks and passed it to him under the table so that he could look good infront of everyone in the jap resturant.
This is only one of the incident. There was a time he told me he lost his mobile phone and asked me if I have extra to sell to him? I passed him one and told him he can pay me later. Around 2 months later when I asked him for the money...guess whats the reply? "YOU EARNING SO MUCH STILL DARE TO ASK MONEY FROM ME??? GO DIE LAH!" Yeah this is some kind of buddy eh???
I was mad for what he said...but I never took it to heart. Untill recently..
Kept asking me to go drinking. Once a while is ok. But its like 3 times a week and each session cost around 200 bucks. Which is to mean 600 a week! I told him I am not going cos I am tired and do not feel like going. When he get drunk he would messaged me message like " I AM SUCCESSFUL...I JUST SOMEONE TO DRINK WITH ME.....IS IT SO HARD? DON'T TELL ME YOUR KIND OF JOB 8-5 IS SOMEKIND OF BLESSING? Of cos I was damn pissed off with this remark but I knew he was drunk thats why I did not take it too heart.
But he went too far....one day he asked me to go drink again i just replied I got no money. His replied was "I don't understand why you always SO NO MONEY?
go drink only thats all. I told him I am not as rich as he is and successful! Who can earn so much and spend one month pay in less than 5 days His replied was " I ONE PERSON CAN SUPPORT WHOLE AMILY! YOU CAN OR NOT?". End of the month, same old thing again..." you got money to borrow me"
For your info he is in MLM. Attending wedding still gotta borrow money from me to pay for ANGPOW??? End of wedding still sms me to transfer money to his account so he could go CHEONG after that????
I decided....Its time this shit must stop cos I had enough since Sec 1 till now. More than 10 years of friendship. End of god sake please don't call me BROTHER BROTHER! Cos I am not your brother! When he needs money! I am his Brother....
This feeling really sucks man!....
but...life still carries on......it would not stop for us. Do be more careful next time ok? If someone blows up whenever u refuse his request 4 help, you're probably better off not helping him. -
Hmm... Try to take things easy in life. Making drastic moves in life when you can't handle the situation or truth often just lands you deeper in the wall....Originally posted by flowergal:Hi, I almost can't believe that your fate is similar to mine. I had a couple of very very good pals whom I always hanged out with and shared our woes and happiness all the time. Although we came from different schs, we were really very close like sisters during our teens. But after some time, people do change and after I turned 21yrs old, things turned out so differently. All of us lead our own individual lives. Alot of unpleasant things happened. Sometimes I wonder whether it could be my fault that things turned out this way. Or maybe my expectation of friendship is too high? But I do blamed them for not treasuring our friendship alot. I do not want a plain friendship, I wanted good and pleasant friendship which is meant to last. Haizz..... I had decided to stop all contacts with them. Great disappointment. Efforts should be done to make our friendship good and steady mah.
Same for all of my past bfs. ... disappointment too.
I guess life has its ups and downs. We try not to take things too hard. Too depressive. -
Originally posted by john nash:
Not many people can be 'destinated' to be a loner... Often than not, you've got to CHOOSE to be one....
[b]Long vacation
Jus completed my 1st year course & will be having an extended vacation from this week onwardsÂ…
Whilst IÂ’m looking forward to it, weekends & extended hols tend to make me uneasy, especially when loneliness & depression starts creeping when u least expect it.
Wiser this time, IÂ’ve start making plans for some meaningful activities during the last week of sch (when everyone is desperately studyingÂ…) ---- example: finding a part-time job, taking a short course or a sport where I can do alone. But guess that does not change the fundamental fact that IÂ’ve become quite dis-connected with people socially, seemed destined to be a loner?
I guess all could I do now is simply to study hard, work hardÂ… my only glimmer of hope lies in a distant future where IÂ’ll eventually find a partner & settle down. By then, IÂ’m sure IÂ’ll be joining some SDU or matchmaking agency & marrying an accountant or somethkÂ…
guess i'm jus rambling... nt many ppl gona relate to the world of a loner like mine, but i jus gona con't writing 'cos i enjoyed it.. [/b] -
Originally posted by Devil1976:Not many people can be 'destinated' to be a loner... Often than not, you've got to CHOOSE to be one....
Definitely.
Forget about the haunting past. Your life as a loner ends when your past no longer affects you.
Cheers -
Well...I treated him like a good friend of mine. I do not really mind if he takes me for granted once or twice but now all the time. I am more easy going. But this is what I get. Well its history...I had enough of him. So I decided to walk out and stop this friendship.Originally posted by ramblingjoe:When i first read your post, i tot it was sum kind of joke...but then after reading a little more i realized it wasn't. I really dont know what you were thinking spending all that money on ur "buddy" and for 10 LONG YEARS!!! You sounded as if u were planning 2 marry him! Do be more careful next time ok? If someone blows up whenever u refuse his request 4 help, you're probably better off not helping him. -
To john and flowergal, pls, DUN feel that it is ur fault. That's jus simply how things are, relationship / frenship comes n go.. Admittedly, it is natural to feel this way. i feel that too at times. U r rite, it's ez to bec overly sensitive. But, u hv to fight that; no one can help u but urself. Jus rem, such feeling can be a vicious cycle in itself, the more u feel this way, the more alienated u find urself. A loner is not nec a bad thing, wat's important is: u hv to feel good about urself..Originally posted by john nash:Yup after the incident, I kinda developed the notion that there is somethk fundamentally wrong with meÂ… serious character flaw etc
That rely affected most of my subsequent relationships & most of all, how I feel as a person.
At a point I even felt that most of frens hate meÂ… until 2 incidents that occurred recently. I bump into 2 old frens (A & B) & one ex-girlfriend on separate occasions. And they actually appeared pleasantly surprised to see me. In fact the frens actually saw me & came over to greet me.
The only thing was I had on many previous occasions asked A out but he wld asked appeared tired or disinterested. I guess he preferred B companyÂ…
so maybe they dun hate me after allÂ… I guess its easy to become overly sensitive after many subtle rejections.
widening ur circle of frens is one possible way of fighting such feelings; wif new frens, u start afresh...
I wish the best for both of u; and if u are one to believe in bazi, do hope that u can join us for the compatibility outing. We are looking at an outing where we gather pple of compatible bazi (and hence most likely to be able to get along) to meet and make new frens; nt necessary matchmaking, but to make new frens as well. If u are interested, See here:
http://sgforums.com/?action=thread_display&thread_id=121588
Cheerios![/url] -
Originally posted by john nash:
Yes, John, That's the way.. while ur lonliness will nt be entirely resolved by all the activities, it's a way to start and i am wif u on that. For now, jus look at expanding ur social life, open up, and see things on a wider perspective - sometimes, it's necessary for one frenship to end in order for others to start..
[b]Long vacation
Jus completed my 1st year course & will be having an extended vacation from this week onwardsÂ…
Whilst IÂ’m looking forward to it, weekends & extended hols tend to make me uneasy, especially when loneliness & depression starts creeping when u least expect it.
Wiser this time, IÂ’ve start making plans for some meaningful activities during the last week of sch (when everyone is desperately studyingÂ…) ---- example: finding a part-time job, taking a short course or a sport where I can do alone. But guess that does not change the fundamental fact that IÂ’ve become quite dis-connected with people socially, seemed destined to be a loner?
I guess all could I do now is simply to study hard, work hardÂ… my only glimmer of hope lies in a distant future where IÂ’ll eventually find a partner & settle down. By then, IÂ’m sure IÂ’ll be joining some SDU or matchmaking agency & marrying an accountant or somethkÂ…
guess i'm jus rambling... nt many ppl gona relate to the world of a loner like mine, but i jus gona con't writing 'cos i enjoyed it.. [/b]
dun be bother wht u are rambling or not; that's wat this forum is for. So keep writing / posting.. getting if off the chest is better that keeping it within urself and letting it eat away at ur heart...
John is in accountancy? then no much worries... ratio of gal:guy is much higher.. -
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