Hot and Cold
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Hey, I'm a new member here and have a little thing that's kind of bugging me. I have this female friend whom I have a good relationship with: she treats me well, we have nice chats from time to time and all that. About 4 months ago i started liking her. About 2 months later she found out from a mutual friend to whom I have told of the crush!
So since she knew about it i started thinking hey, i might as well make a move.Her response was kind of funny. She seemed very interested at first. Every time I do nice thing she would become very happy and thank me. But abt a month later her interest began to taper off. I think she got bored of me being nice to her and became quite neutral to whatever i did. Sensing this, I decided to back off for a moment, not wanting to do anything stupid.
3 weeks ago she suddenly seemed to become interested again...treating me nicely and all that. But last few days she return to her normal self.
To make a long story short, she seems to be blowing hot and cold to me. She can be extremely nice at times and she can be realtively cold at the same time too. What do you people think? Should I chase her or look elsewhere? -
tell her to her face that u like her and end this bullshit.
OR
back off and keep thinking of what couldve been. -
agree.Originally posted by ahpeh:tell her to her face that u like her and end this bullshit.
OR
back off and keep thinking of what couldve been.
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When she is blowing "cold", did u find out why???Originally posted by ramblingjoe:Hey, I'm a new member here and have a little thing that's kind of bugging me. I have this female friend whom I have a good relationship with: she treats me well, we have nice chats from time to time and all that. About 4 months ago i started liking her. About 2 months later she found out from a mutual friend to whom I have told of the crush!
So since she knew about it i started thinking hey, i might as well make a move.Her response was kind of funny. She seemed very interested at first. Every time I do nice thing she would become very happy and thank me. But abt a month later her interest began to taper off. I think she got bored of me being nice to her and became quite neutral to whatever i did. Sensing this, I decided to back off for a moment, not wanting to do anything stupid.
3 weeks ago she suddenly seemed to become interested again...treating me nicely and all that. But last few days she return to her normal self.
To make a long story short, she seems to be blowing hot and cold to me. She can be extremely nice at times and she can be realtively cold at the same time too. What do you people think? Should I chase her or look elsewhere?
U can decide to pull back to stop doing stupid things... why can she have some issues that forbid her from responding to ur actions???
There are many possibilities... only she holds the answers...
If u need them, find out from her...
Good luck... -
maybe she's interested too... and maybe she tries to be very nice to you... but u din make any moves... or ask her to be ur gf... then she sian... think maybe shouldn't be so nice to you... maybe u dun really like her... so she wans to let the thing die off... then after sometime... she realise she still fancies you... then she become very nice again... then you still never say anything... then she wans to back off again?? hmmm... haha.... i'm just speculating eh?? this might be one scenario... ;POriginally posted by ramblingjoe:Hey, I'm a new member here and have a little thing that's kind of bugging me. I have this female friend whom I have a good relationship with: she treats me well, we have nice chats from time to time and all that. About 4 months ago i started liking her. About 2 months later she found out from a mutual friend to whom I have told of the crush!
So since she knew about it i started thinking hey, i might as well make a move.Her response was kind of funny. She seemed very interested at first. Every time I do nice thing she would become very happy and thank me. But abt a month later her interest began to taper off. I think she got bored of me being nice to her and became quite neutral to whatever i did. Sensing this, I decided to back off for a moment, not wanting to do anything stupid.
3 weeks ago she suddenly seemed to become interested again...treating me nicely and all that. But last few days she return to her normal self.
To make a long story short, she seems to be blowing hot and cold to me. She can be extremely nice at times and she can be realtively cold at the same time too. What do you people think? Should I chase her or look elsewhere? -
Go after her if you love her.Originally posted by ramblingjoe:Hey, I'm a new member here and have a little thing that's kind of bugging me. I have this female friend whom I have a good relationship with: she treats me well, we have nice chats from time to time and all that. About 4 months ago i started liking her. About 2 months later she found out from a mutual friend to whom I have told of the crush!
So since she knew about it i started thinking hey, i might as well make a move.Her response was kind of funny. She seemed very interested at first. Every time I do nice thing she would become very happy and thank me. But abt a month later her interest began to taper off. I think she got bored of me being nice to her and became quite neutral to whatever i did. Sensing this, I decided to back off for a moment, not wanting to do anything stupid.
3 weeks ago she suddenly seemed to become interested again...treating me nicely and all that. But last few days she return to her normal self.
To make a long story short, she seems to be blowing hot and cold to me. She can be extremely nice at times and she can be realtively cold at the same time too. What do you people think? Should I chase her or look elsewhere?
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maybe she's interested too... and maybe she tries to be very nice to you... but u din make any moves... or ask her to be ur gf... then she sian... think maybe shouldn't be so nice to you... maybe u dun really like her... so she wans to let the thing die off... then after sometime... she realise she still fancies you... then she become very nice again... then you still never say anything... then she wans to back off again?? hmmm... haha.... i'm just speculating eh?? this might be one scenario... ;P
She should know by now that i like her..coz i've made some rather obvious hints every now and then. For example i sms her a couple of times weekly and call her every now and then.
Maybe I'll give some background abt her. We are both first year university students. Neither of us has ever had a bf/gf before (for ur info i went to a all-boys school in my teens, didnt mix much with girls then) Her opinion on boy-gal r/s is very conservative, while I'm more "modern" so to speak. Her good friend told me dat she seems to hav some interest but may not want to start a r/s right now. But i'm not sure if i can trust wat the fren is saying. I mean she might be conservative but if she knows i like her will she still behave like dat? I'm beginning to think dat she doesnt like me, or maybe there's something holding her back. Btw, she has been talking about what i did 4 her to some of her closer frens, i know coz they told me. Like when i give her something or do something for her etc. But she has ever told me once before that she has never met any guy in her life that she has liked(in the romantic sort of way). I wonder if dis is her way of hinting dat she doesnt like me?
People have joked dat she n i are a couple but her response is rather neutral - just a light smile.
Donno if it's relevant but were're from different backgrounds - I'm from an English speaking background while she is from a Mandarin-speaking background. When we speak to each other we use mandarin coz she does not like to speak in English to friends. We have different tastes in music and tv shows - she likes chinese music and canto shows while i don't watch canto shows at all coz my canto simply sucks. -
wah lao eh...you really u know...dating that time maybe lite dat lah...sometime you got so many tinks to tok over the phone or during outings and dates but u can enjoy urself every second thruough the date meh? lite every second oso must shiok 1 meh...if and eventually u get married you two will need to hav some time on ur own to do ur own things, hav ur own worries....indifference to each other at times......so follow my fomula lor.....date her...tired oredi get married.......marriage becomes indifference hav kids...they should spice up ur life a little.....den gorw oold and look back haha.Originally posted by ramblingjoe:Hey, I'm a new member here and have a little thing that's kind of bugging me. I have this female friend whom I have a good relationship with: she treats me well, we have nice chats from time to time and all that. About 4 months ago i started liking her. About 2 months later she found out from a mutual friend to whom I have told of the crush!
So since she knew about it i started thinking hey, i might as well make a move.Her response was kind of funny. She seemed very interested at first. Every time I do nice thing she would become very happy and thank me. But abt a month later her interest began to taper off. I think she got bored of me being nice to her and became quite neutral to whatever i did. Sensing this, I decided to back off for a moment, not wanting to do anything stupid.
3 weeks ago she suddenly seemed to become interested again...treating me nicely and all that. But last few days she return to her normal self.
To make a long story short, she seems to be blowing hot and cold to me. She can be extremely nice at times and she can be realtively cold at the same time too. What do you people think? Should I chase her or look elsewhere?
everyone need some time and space on their own....at work and after work...i tink with wat u have done she should know your feelings and intentions...dun giv up keep holding on if u wan her for life..haha -
wah, i tot u calling me sia............
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Debatable.Originally posted by ramblingjoe:Hey, I'm a new member here and have a little thing that's kind of bugging me. I have this female friend whom I have a good relationship with: she treats me well, we have nice chats from time to time and all that. About 4 months ago i started liking her. About 2 months later she found out from a mutual friend to whom I have told of the crush!
So since she knew about it i started thinking hey, i might as well make a move.Her response was kind of funny. She seemed very interested at first. Every time I do nice thing she would become very happy and thank me. But abt a month later her interest began to taper off. I think she got bored of me being nice to her and became quite neutral to whatever i did. Sensing this, I decided to back off for a moment, not wanting to do anything stupid.
3 weeks ago she suddenly seemed to become interested again...treating me nicely and all that. But last few days she return to her normal self.
To make a long story short, she seems to be blowing hot and cold to me. She can be extremely nice at times and she can be realtively cold at the same time too. What do you people think? Should I chase her or look elsewhere?
If you're really interested in her, leaving good impressions could be a way to keep you in the game. Meanwhile, just take a mild or 'luke-warm' approach. When she shows more receptiveness to you then you react accordingly...
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Originally posted by ahpeh:tell her to her face that u like her and end this bullshit.
OR
back off and keep thinking of what couldve been.
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I'm not too sure what u mean by a mild approach? You mean i should treat her just like i would a normal friend? Or should I treat her a little better?Originally posted by Devil1976:Debatable.
If you're really interested in her, leaving good impressions could be a way to keep you in the game. Meanwhile, just take a mild or 'luke-warm' approach. When she shows more receptiveness to you then you react accordingly... -
One other thing, don't you think the fact that she knew I like her a little too early(from the friend) could have caused the problem? Like how confessing to a girl that you like her too early in a relationship may not be a good idea?
Want to hear your opinions on this. Thanks. -
Hmm... seems like this girl is flaking already.Originally posted by ramblingjoe:Hey, I'm a new member here and have a little thing that's kind of bugging me. I have this female friend whom I have a good relationship with: she treats me well, we have nice chats from time to time and all that. About 4 months ago i started liking her. About 2 months later she found out from a mutual friend to whom I have told of the crush!
So since she knew about it i started thinking hey, i might as well make a move.Her response was kind of funny. She seemed very interested at first. Every time I do nice thing she would become very happy and thank me. But abt a month later her interest began to taper off. I think she got bored of me being nice to her and became quite neutral to whatever i did. Sensing this, I decided to back off for a moment, not wanting to do anything stupid.
3 weeks ago she suddenly seemed to become interested again...treating me nicely and all that. But last few days she return to her normal self.
To make a long story short, she seems to be blowing hot and cold to me. She can be extremely nice at times and she can be realtively cold at the same time too. What do you people think? Should I chase her or look elsewhere?
Do you know what you should do when girls get flaky?
It's time to take charge. Tell her straight in her face that you like her and make it very clear that it's either take it or leave it. But please dun go and tell her, "Take it or leave it." I'm not telling you to do that but rather behave in such a way that you are firm on your stand.
btw... how old is she? -
We are both 20 years old(21 this year) but have never been in a bgr before. I don't quite get what you mean by 'taking charge'? Can you give me some examples to illustrate your point? Your suggestion sounds a little too aggressive for me. What do the rest of you think?Originally posted by keuriseudo:Hmm... seems like this girl is flaking already.
Do you know what you should do when girls get flaky?
It's time to take charge. Tell her straight in her face that you like her and make it very clear that it's either take it or leave it. But please dun go and tell her, "Take it or leave it." I'm not telling you to do that but rather behave in such a way that you are firm on your stand.
btw... how old is she? -
i don't mean to be unhelpful, but situations like these are the reason why i have a "no-noobs" policy.
basically i dont get involved with girls who havent been attached before
the most irritating thing is a girl waffling on whether to commit to you or not simply because she hasnt been thru it before and doesnt know what to expect and would rather play it safe. stupid. i prefer someone who has been there and done that and understands that entering a relationship isn't so daunting as it seems to a first timer. she'll also know more abt dating and how to relate to a bf. besides, she may be better in bed
yes, there may be issues abt her ex and stuff, but the experience can only make her more mature. we remember that the majority of successful relationships involve people who have exes... -
Stop being 'nice' to her. Mr. Nice guy dun get gf. Mr. Nice is someone who she can talk to when feeling down or when she is sad. Mr. Nice will just be a friend to her and nothing else. It just stop at friend.Originally posted by ramblingjoe:Hey, I'm a new member here and have a little thing that's kind of bugging me. I have this female friend whom I have a good relationship with: she treats me well, we have nice chats from time to time and all that. About 4 months ago i started liking her. About 2 months later she found out from a mutual friend to whom I have told of the crush!
So since she knew about it i started thinking hey, i might as well make a move.Her response was kind of funny. She seemed very interested at first. Every time I do nice thing she would become very happy and thank me. But abt a month later her interest began to taper off. I think she got bored of me being nice to her and became quite neutral to whatever i did. Sensing this, I decided to back off for a moment, not wanting to do anything stupid.
3 weeks ago she suddenly seemed to become interested again...treating me nicely and all that. But last few days she return to her normal self.
To make a long story short, she seems to be blowing hot and cold to me. She can be extremely nice at times and she can be realtively cold at the same time too. What do you people think? Should I chase her or look elsewhere? -
Try & date other girls.
Since u have never experience BGR, don't rush into a r/s.
Basically better to get someone who have the same interest/ background so less chances of conflict.
If she sees u talking to other girls, she may react if she is interested. -
Originally posted by ramblingjoe:I'm not too sure what u mean by a mild approach? You mean i should treat her just like i would a normal friend? Or should I treat her a little better?
What are both your horoscopes?Originally posted by ramblingjoe:One other thing, don't you think the fact that she knew I like her a little too early(from the friend) could have caused the problem? Like how confessing to a girl that you like her too early in a relationship may not be a good idea?
Want to hear your opinions on this. Thanks.
Mild approach means that you treat her better than a friend.. Yet at the same time don't 'overdo' things... Not sure how long this should last though? Cause the meanings to the way she's acting is still really quite an unknown... But by keeping it at this rate, should keep things quite okie for the short term...
Confessing early or not depends on the situation... Generally it's not a wise move unless you know she's interested or you'll willing to put the relationship on a 'gamble'...? -
It's nice to know that the great devil himself cannot understand her. Looks like I'm not the only one having trouble.Originally posted by Devil1976:What are both your horoscopes?
Mild approach means that you treat her better than a friend.. Yet at the same time don't 'overdo' things... Not sure how long this should last though? Cause the meanings to the way she's acting is still really quite an unknown... But by keeping it at this rate, should keep things quite okie for the short term...
Confessing early or not depends on the situation... Generally it's not a wise move unless you know she's interested or you'll willing to put the relationship on a 'gamble'...?
Btw,I'm a Taurus while she's a Scorpio. Why? Is all this info relevant? -
I'm not in your shoes, it's only natural that I don't know exactly what is going on in your situation...Originally posted by ramblingjoe:It's nice to know that the great devil himself cannot understand her. Looks like I'm not the only one having trouble.
Btw,I'm a Taurus while she's a Scorpio. Why? Is all this info relevant?
Your situation:
Chances are, she's playing 'hard to get'. It's also part of her style. Lures you in, then distance a bit... It's more of your nature to catch no ball of what she's trying to do....
Both your 'basic characters' sort of matches up... Meaning both of you have what it takes to make the relationship go on a long row... But the 'mixing up' part... Hmm... Can be a bit 'tricky'...?
Show INTERESTED in her yet don't overdo it. Don't let her overwhelm you but let her know that she's REALLY SOMETHING... Appreciating her at the appropriate times would give you 'bonus points'... Don't be fake though, she's kinda smart and can easily see through such... Be yourself. She likes one with character (and yet willing to give in to her to an extent...)...
It'll be a smart move to know her better as a friend or sort... Know her personality... A note would be that she might not be easy to tackle... But once you've got her, she's probably be quite worth most efforts you've contributed.... -
Eh eh, me leh, me leh, I'm Pisces
*puts 20c coin in Devil's slot*
FeowFeowOriginally posted by Devil1976:
I'm not in your shoes, it's only natural that I don't know exactly what is going on in your situation...
[b]Your situation:
Chances are, she's playing 'hard to get'. It's also part of her style. Lures you in, then distance a bit... It's more of your nature to catch no ball of what she's trying to do....
Both your 'basic characters' sort of matches up... Meaning both of you have what it takes to make the relationship go on a long row... But the 'mixing up' part... Hmm... Can be a bit 'tricky'...?
Show INTERESTED in her yet don't overdo it. Don't let her overwhelm you but let her know that she's REALLY SOMETHING... Appreciating her at the appropriate times would give you 'bonus points'... Don't be fake though, she's kinda smart and can easily see through such... Be yourself. She likes one with character (and yet willing to give in to her to an extent...)...
It'll be a smart move to know her better as a friend or sort... Know her personality... A note would be that she might not be easy to tackle... But once you've got her, she's probably be quite worth most efforts you've contributed.... [/b] -
What do you want to know? Thought you're already happily attached...? -_-"Originally posted by FeowFeow:Eh eh, me leh, me leh, I'm Pisces *puts 20c coin in Devil's slot*
FeowFeow
By the way, I don't specialises in horoscopes.. -
kaoz. tell her lor. of if u are those who cant talk buy a card and write it down then send to her.
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At this point, I'm becoming sick and tired of guessing her intentions. These mind games are killing me. She knows I have some feelings for her, yet she's not handling the situation responsibly, IMHO. Like means like, dun like means dun like.
Furthermore, she has said things like she has never liked a guy in her life. Assuming she's not lesbian, this hardly makes sense(she's already 20 for god's sake!
)
I think it's probably best that I treat her as a friend at the moment. In the meantime, I'll be on the look-out for other girls. I've wasted too much time figuring out where i fit into her life. Guess I better spend more time figuring out where she fits in mine.
Btw, one last question. Supposing one day I think that she does like me. Do you think I should confess to her or should I let her make the first move. Cause she should know by now that I like her, so no point for me confessing anymore, rite?