Two Friends
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This is my first time posting.
Currently I am in US doing a course with my friend. (Btw we are both male and straight)
. I was being appointed as a team leader and my friend is in the same team.
As a leader, I have to make some unpopular decisions. My friend seem to be always pretty pissed with these decisions. He even commented that he should be the leader instead of me. When I ask him why is that so, he say that he is popular than me and that is what the team members wants.
We drew further apart. Whenever, I trying to get him out for a drink or two he will say that he is not free. When someone else ask him, he will be gladly going out with them. I am always alone.
Now he even have two person sticking with him wherever he goes. I cannot understand what is going on.
Can someone give some suggestion?
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well,if he really treats you as a good friend..he wouldn't be jealous or treat you in this way..maybe the two of you should find some chance to talk things out as all these may just be a misunderstanding~ if after talking out with him and he still insisted the same way as now...then i think he is also not a good friend to be~
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In a team, there can be 2 kinds of leaders: One is the manager, and the other the leader.
The leader is often the popular one, people would listen to him, feel motivated to work, inspired etc.
The manager is the one who's in-charge of making sure every thing goes well in the group, the decision-making and stuff..Admin work in a way.
Also, you two should listen to each other and discuss your decisions. Sometimes a good decision maybe derived from both your ideas.
If he's so childish and wants to go about pouting, then he's not really a true friend. True friends don't ditch each other during tough times.
Hope what I've said made some sense...*goes off to eat his breakfast x_x* -
well, try to digest this...
There are leaders who only tell people what to do. And there are leaders who SHOW people how to do it. Which are you? -
I would assess myself to be a leader who is leading by example. However depending on the situation and the person I am working with, I may just give him his aim and let him crack on.
It is quite seldom I receive any proper feedback about my leadership. Hence I am not really sure how I function.
I just send him a email. Hopefully, he will reply me.
Anyway, thanks for the replies. -
Then perhaps you should also reflect a bit on yourself?Originally posted by WaveRuler:I would assess myself to be a leader who is leading by example. However depending on the situation and the person I am working with, I may just give him his aim and let him crack on.
It is quite seldom I receive any proper feedback about my leadership. Hence I am not really sure how I function.
I just send him a email. Hopefully, he will reply me.
Anyway, thanks for the replies. 
You can still make your call and decisions... Depending on the situation... Sometimes it's good to hear about what your team mates have got to say too? But of course, often than not.. You probably can't just satisfy everyone..? -
Watch the Apprentice 2, u learn a lot about leadership.
One of the contestants is domineering & always think she is right. She alienates everyone even though she is very competent.
Another, is wishy-washy & drives everyone crazy cos she is so indecisive.
A good leader listens to all views/ contributions from his members & is good at motivating people & getting them to work for him.
Talk to him to try & clear all misunderstandings. -
When I read this part, a warning bell rang in my mind about how you had carried out your role as a leader. You said u made some unpopular decisions as a leader and your friend was pissed about it. So my question is whether you as the group leader have really done your part in listening to what the other group members have to say? Becos from the likes of things, it seems like you're making the call here with no attention given to how your other group members (which includes your fren) feel or think. If that's the case, you should reexamine the way you have been leading the group. A good leader not only leads, he listens too. If you have been ignoring the feelings of your group and doing things your way, then it's understandable why your friend is treating you this way because in his mind, you have turned out to be a pompous prick. (sorry for being blunt if that hurts, but I have my suspicions that you may have been acting like one in this situation).Originally posted by WaveRuler:As a leader, I have to make some unpopular decisions. My friend seem to be always pretty pissed with these decisions. He even commented that he should be the leader instead of me. When I ask him why is that so, he say that he is popular than me and that is what the team members wants.
On the other hand, if you have actually weighed your group members' suggestions, and your friend isn't happy about it because he wants it his own way, then your friend is at fault because he isn't working as a team here but rather he is trying to outshine you and take over your leadership role. You may want to reevaluate your friendship with him then as he is clearly not playing the role of a friend by being envious and petty.
You're the best judge of things so let's hope you make the right call from here on. Best of luck to you overseas.