Will too many different advises affect decision making?
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HOW WILL many different advises from different AA contributors which contridicts at times affect the topic starter of those seeking help?
Will they be confused or not know what to do?
Will it disturb and stress them further of our advises and different viewpoints?
HOW WILL giving similiar advices from different people help too?
Will they be at peace and hence affect them to make their decisions?
I'm eager to hear long and sound replies.
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actually, i think that some of the ppl who posted in AA had already made their own decisions...
they are just waiting for ppl to speak out what they thot.... so that if anything goes wrong, they can console that they are not the one who made the decisions... other ppl also tell them that...
but note hor, i say some.. not all...
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sometimes we hav made the decisions liao.. but just wanna post anyway..cos..
i wanna be assured that i'm not the only one who tinks this way
i have seeked advice..whether or not i heed it is a different matter -
Good question, the many different advises coming from different AA contributors should not confused the topic starter(the person seeking advice).
Because the person who posted the agony is capable of self-thought and weighing the pros and the cons of each different advices. Eventually it is still up to the topic starter to determine which advice is appropriate for him/her to undertake.
Sometimes as an AA contributor, I wondered if some of the agonies are true or just some bogus make-up scenarios to twist our mind and heart.
I believe all the advices given here in AA sgForums are good advices given by people who had actually put in the effort to generate or relate real-life experiences or scenarios...for the sake of helping another soul out there and preventing them from experiencing the same hurt.
There're heaps of advices given to many different types of agonies...even the non-authentic ones.
However, I must stress to people seeking advices here...that the contributors can only provide the insight or an alternative to solve the problem. The real problem is often hidden away deep in the realms of the mind. That's probably the most difficult part of it. However, being an AA contributor does has it's own satisfaction...having seen other people benefited/happy/rejoice over the resolving of their problems is the best reward of all and it really makes my day most of the time. 
The worst part of being an AA contributor is probably when some idiots tried to belittle on your advice by voicing out some irresponsible/brainless statments. I sincerely hope that they can bring their nonsense to somewhere else and to some other forums.
Well, everybody has it's own fair share of problems...and if anyone...I mean anyone tries to step on each other's effort/attempt to share their own personal experiences/advices/efforts to another unfortunate soul, that person will not be forgiven.
Well...at least by me.
So I sincerely hope that those offenders will be plagued by heaps of unsolvable problems in their lives and may their very soul be shredded and pierced by sea of knifes.
Oops...a little too evil~
They know who they are...so I'm looking forward to their future pain. -
having different sides of opinion can also help them c wat other answers are out there other the ones they have in mind. as for which way to go its how they weight it themselves...Originally posted by M©+square:HOW WILL many different advises from different AA contributors which contridicts at times affect the topic starter of those seeking help?
Will they be confused or not know what to do?
Will it disturb and stress them further of our advises and different viewpoints?
HOW WILL giving similiar advices from different people help too?
Will they be at peace and hence affect them to make their decisions?
I'm eager to hear long and sound replies. -
Originally posted by M©+square:HOW WILL many different advises from different AA contributors which contridicts at times affect the topic starter of those seeking help?
Will they be confused or not know what to do?
Will it disturb and stress them further of our advises and different viewpoints?
HOW WILL giving similiar advices from different people help too?
Will they be at peace and hence affect them to make their decisions?
I'm eager to hear long and sound replies. 
Being an Aunt Agony for quite a while, I can only see four types of people:
I) One that already made their decision regardless of what that is posted.
II) Consider the so called 'best moderated advices' after series of elimination, with accounts to his/her situations and personality.
III) One that practice Selective Preception - 'Selectively believe words that his/her mind wants to hear'
IV) One that needs the rant - Not particularly looking for advices, rather a channel to voice and rant.
Cheers -
*Double posting*
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to answer the first 3 questions, we need to know
- the intention of the first post ie validation/seeking opinion/etc
- their afterthoughts after reading the responses
- their reasons for their actions thereafter
most of which would be best answered by the individual in question and not by second guessing.HOW WILL giving similiar advices from different people help too?
if we assume that the person doing the asking has never been in a specific situation (might have decided on) but is not sure of the next course of action.
one aspect of getting similar advice from different people helps in "safety in numbers", many people saying the same thing must be right kind of mentality.
while it could give the person sufficient confidence on what to do next, it does not necessarily help the situation/person.Will they be at peace and hence affect them to make their decisions?
i think a large extent depends on how the advice is given
for example a person described a a series of positive events and is thinking if he/she should ask for a date.
a contributer proposed that one should do a follow up.
another simply says that he usually knows within 5 to 10 minutes of talking to know whether he should ask her out for dinner or not.
the second response is more likely to force the poster to examine more closely at his own siutation and his own needs
why 5 minutes? what does he look for? what does he do to make a decision in such short time?
the latter not only provokes introspection, but also hints at how personal the decision can be to an individual. -
Having different advices may confuse the person but may also open him to things that he have not taken notice until now...
Having all same advices may help him to decide, but the possibility of him becoming bias in some sense and not seeing the whole picture is there.
Even when a person is seeking advice, s/he has the ability to think through the advices presented to him and come out with his/her won decision eventually. If not, then its better that they don't seek advices or they will come rambling to you saying, "see lah, told me to do this do that..."
Like what some others pointed out, there are some who already have some idea of what to do, but would like support from others to be more confident abt their decision.
There are also some who are here to seek advice as they are lost at what to do. How they use the advicee given is up to them. Advisors can only advise, the usage depends on the person themselves.
Some others only needs a listening ear and not advices...
There are also those that would only want to listen to words they wanted to hear. Do they exist in AA??? This i am not sure. -
Practicality vs Sensibility vs Moral vs Logic.
Logic says goes for the girl you love.
Moral says the girl belongs to another person.
Sensibility says either fall in love with another girl, or just wait for her their breakup.
Practicality says talk to the girl to know what she thinks.
The person can listen, but application is different from advice.
No advice is perfect. Good advice does not mean it reflects on all 4 possibilities. And like I always say, 'Listen not to the voices that calls out but what your heart wants to say'
Eventually, the decision lies with the person. You'll regret less for making a decision that you wanted, rather than a bad decision that given by others.
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SOME JUST WANT listening ear, to voice out and not keep it inside, to share with others their thoughts, burden,.. only lar. how i know? im one of them
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Hi MC,
Before I replied to ur qn, I decided to read thru wat others haf contributed to ur thread : )
Whilst I agree tt most pple haf oredi made their decision prior to posting in AA, & there may be those who fall inside Auntie/Uncle Yun's theoretical categories, we hafta remember there sometimes r exceptions to the rule oso : )
In addition, whilst well-intentioned advice is always gd for the poor soul, wat if we argue & fight over differ'g opinions? Wld it serve to confuse the person who's most in need of advice? This is wat I'm most concerned abt.
Perhaps a level-headed, rational person will be able to weigh his options. But when the party in qn is a v. confused indiv who was really counting on us to provide him/her wif the pros & cons of certain actions?
There's No right or wrong ans here, I'm afraid : ) But having posted in AA a no. of times wif this ID & my previous ID, RP (now long-abandoned), my main concern shall always be the party seeking advice. Hence, I always try Not to flare up in AA, No matter how heated I may get *winkz*
FeowFeowOriginally posted by M©+square:HOW WILL many different advises from different AA contributors which contridicts at times affect the topic starter of those seeking help?
Will they be confused or not know what to do?
Will it disturb and stress them further of our advises and different viewpoints?
HOW WILL giving similiar advices from different people help too?
Will they be at peace and hence affect them to make their decisions?
I'm eager to hear long and sound replies. -
Hmm.. people usually just want someone that will listen to them. It's not so much the advice. It's more of having a space to rant.
Most of the times people just end up doing what they wanna do anyway.