what does it mean when..
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a couple doesnt have much to talk about?? like, many quiet and awkward moments when together alone, eg waiting for bus, in the train..
its really.. really frustrating. there is hardly anything to talk about.. all the jokes seems to be so cold.. in your mind you keep thinkin about what to say.. keep findin topics to talk about.. but there's not really much to chat..
does it mean
love's fading? no more interest/sick of each other? very little common things? .. break up?
and.. is it true that lack of communication or communication problem is quite often the cause of couples breaking up? sighs..
a million things to say.. nothing to talk about..
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why not next time try listening to a mp3 together, like some romantic music or songs. then dun need to talk if lost for topic. anyway can also talk about current affairs, life in office etc.
try once every month go to some slightly posh place to have dinner or buffet lunch, and go watch movies together, to rekindle the sparks. -
I dunno dude, i never have that problem.
It's like.. if there is silence, it's comfortable silence.
Hm.... is there really nothing to say??? I always HAVE SOMETHING to say!! -
well its a problem.... but its not the end.... well y dont talk about your interest, or entertainment, or wat u or your partner is interested in... just take up the initiative and start talking....Originally posted by potatostick:a couple doesnt have much to talk about?? like, many quiet and awkward moments when together alone, eg waiting for bus, in the train..
its really.. really frustrating. there is hardly anything to talk about.. all the jokes seems to be so cold.. in your mind you keep thinkin about what to say.. keep findin topics to talk about.. but there's not really much to chat..
does it mean love's fading? no more interest/sick of each other? very little common things? .. break up?
and.. is it true that lack of communication or communication problem is quite often the cause of couples breaking up? sighs..
a million things to say.. nothing to talk about.. -
oh...try going tour together esp. now very cheap, and can be over the weekend, like just go genting or batam or bali or phuket etc...cheap also.
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thanks for the advices, guys.
i've got alot of things to say actually. im quite a talkative person. my friends can vouch for that. but i dunno why when im with him, it seems so hard to even open my mouth. all his replies turns me off.. everytime i ask a question, hopin to start a topic off, he jus simply replies me one word answers like "yeah.." "dunno" "no.."
how do u wan me to continue like that?? sighs..
nightzip, thanks. but im only a teenager. aint got that kinda bread to eat at posh restaurants. haha. -
did you try to raise this issue with him/her?
perhaps ask how he/she feels about this? or more importantly tell your partner your side of the story?
you also mentioned communication problem. it could be possible ...
you can always start from yourself
for example, how do you know if your partner is listening?
or how do you show that you are listening to your partner?
in anycase, are you a guy or lady? -
im a young lady.
yeah i talked to him about it before. but he doesnt really care much about communication problems. he mentioned its ok, its jus a matter of time, as long as we're together, its alright..
i wrote a letter to him regarding this.. sighs. and he said he'll try to talk more the next time.. i know he's a talkative guy too, but i don understand why issit when with me, he seems to be so quiet. i asked if he's losing interest in me, he said no. and that our communication problem wont affect whats in our hearts. thats what he assured me.. -
Hmm.. to be honest some guys just don't like talking. Full stop. They wanna keep everything inside and act all macho and stuff.Originally posted by potatostick:im a young lady.
yeah i talked to him about it before. but he doesnt really care much about communication problems. he mentioned its ok, its jus a matter of time, as long as we're together, its alright..
i wrote a letter to him regarding this.. sighs. and he said he'll try to talk more the next time.. i know he's a talkative guy too, but i don understand why issit when with me, he seems to be so quiet. i asked if he's losing interest in me, he said no. and that our communication problem wont affect whats in our hearts. thats what he assured me..
Well if there isn't really anything to say. I don't think it's right. Just me anyway, cos i love yapping. -
so he has never told you why he is so quiet around you?Originally posted by potatostick:i wrote a letter to him regarding this.. sighs. and he said he'll try to talk more the next time.. i know he's a talkative guy too, but i don understand why issit when with me, he seems to be so quiet. i asked if he's losing interest in me, he said no. and that our communication problem wont affect whats in our hearts. thats what he assured me..
or he did mention just that you dont understand? -
hmm, what should i do then?? Lingos, suggestions??
to me, a couple should be talking alot.. like my sis and her bf, they talk on the phone every night. i've got alot of examples, my fren and her bf. they really don seem to run out of topics to talk about. i don really know why.
and he doesnt call me that often to talk too. we tried to talk on the phone, but.. silence was on the line too.
really dunno what to do.. sighs.. seeing couples on the streets yakkin away makes me think that perhaps we arent really meant for each other. i have alot of guys friends. i TALK alot when im with them. they even call me quite oftenly to chat.. get wat i mean?? -
hi eyonx. thanks for reading and takin time to post.
uhh, he never really mentioned about how come he's all quiet when with me.. i donno why either.. he knows he's quiet when with me, thats all.. -
Originally posted by potatostick:
Hmm... but you've already told him how you feel. There's nothing you can do loh. Is he under a period of stress or something? That would make him clam up.
hmm, what should i do then?? Lingos, suggestions??
to me, a couple [b]should be talking alot.. like my sis and her bf, they talk on the phone every night. i've got alot of examples, my fren and her bf. they really don seem to run out of topics to talk about. i don really know why.
and he doesnt call me that often to talk too. we tried to talk on the phone, but.. silence was on the line too. really dunno what to do.. sighs.. seeing couples on the streets yakkin away makes me think that perhaps we arent really meant for each other. i have alot of guys friends. i TALK alot when im with them. they even call me quite oftenly to chat.. get wat i mean?? [/b]
Yeah i know, it is really bad when you cannot talk to your boyfriend. Maybe he is really hiding something. I used to see someone that clammed up all the time. I found that he had funny smses in his phone, and he lies a lot. Just weird dodgy stuff from him. But worst of all it was so boring going out with him. I'd rather watch crappy tv.
Anyway as i said, he could be under stress at school/work. But he should really be able to speak to you about it. When my partner is stressed, the first person he talks to about his problems is always me. -
: )
for what it is worth, i have seen cases this way. But whether there is anything that you could do, i am not sure.
She has her ways, and it involves knowing what he usually talks about. and yes, he loves her (they are getting married). I know both parties in question.
i hope the above gives comfort in knowing what is possible in your situation.
Yet however, I think ultimately you would find something that you are comfortable with. -
my frank opinion.. if the communication is down.. something is wrong somewhere liao. it should be resolved, or else... yap young girl. Cheers and good luck. if not, you are still young.. can try looking for better.Originally posted by potatostick:a couple doesnt have much to talk about?? like, many quiet and awkward moments when together alone, eg waiting for bus, in the train..
its really.. really frustrating. there is hardly anything to talk about.. all the jokes seems to be so cold.. in your mind you keep thinkin about what to say.. keep findin topics to talk about.. but there's not really much to chat..
does it mean love's fading? no more interest/sick of each other? very little common things? .. break up?
and.. is it true that lack of communication or communication problem is quite often the cause of couples breaking up? sighs..
a million things to say.. nothing to talk about.. -
i've always thought that communication is the MAIN thing in r/s.. am i right to say that?? i really like him alot.. im sure the feeling's mutual, if not, he wouldn't spend half a year wooing me, and now, another 4mths' time and smses on me.. sighs.. but i really wish to improve this r/s..
i just wanna talk more to him.. is there really nothing i can do?? if he doesnt wish to open his mouth.. thats it? sighss. -
Yeah.. communication is of paramount importance.Originally posted by potatostick:i've always thought that communication is the MAIN thing in r/s.. am i right to say that?? i really like him alot.. im sure the feeling's mutual, if not, he wouldn't spend half a year wooing me, and now, another 4mths' time and smses on me.. sighs.. but i really wish to improve this r/s..
i just wanna talk more to him.. is there really nothing i can do?? if he doesnt wish to open his mouth.. thats it? sighss.
Hmm... giving you the chase and loving you is two different things girlfriend. -
can try n focus on topics he likes to get him into carrying on a conversation, or mebbe try (if you feel like) to entertain him when you talkOriginally posted by potatostick:i've always thought that communication is the MAIN thing in r/s.. am i right to say that?? i really like him alot.. im sure the feeling's mutual, if not, he wouldn't spend half a year wooing me, and now, another 4mths' time and smses on me.. sighs.. but i really wish to improve this r/s..
i just wanna talk more to him.. is there really nothing i can do?? if he doesnt wish to open his mouth.. thats it? sighss.
some guys just don't like to talk, theyd rather do things / listen to other ppl talk... and yes there actually are ppl who *hate* talking so relak
or then again there might really be a problem
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6mths of courtingOriginally posted by potatostick:i've always thought that communication is the MAIN thing in r/s.. am i right to say that?? i really like him alot.. im sure the feeling's mutual, if not, he wouldn't spend half a year wooing me, and now, another 4mths' time and smses on me.. sighs.. but i really wish to improve this r/s..
i just wanna talk more to him.. is there really nothing i can do?? if he doesnt wish to open his mouth.. thats it? sighss.
4mths duration in r/s. Try doing a review from the start of courtship till now.
How different was he compared from the start till now?
Conversation wise also have to be re-capped and reviewed.
You may conduct a self check- how much you understand about him, his mood, social circle, likes and some important bkground of him.
Cheers -
1st bad presumption. Being a couple doesn't mean that they would definitely have to talk more. Sometimes one can be tired. Enjoys a moment of solitary or just wants a fair bit of privacy. Not everyone's in for an 'active mode' 24 hours (or maybe not even lasting up to 2-3 hours? Varying among individuals? ) around the clock.Originally posted by potatostick:hmm, what should i do then?? Lingos, suggestions??
to me, a couple [b]should be talking alot.. like my sis and her bf, they talk on the phone every night. i've got alot of examples, my fren and her bf. they really don seem to run out of topics to talk about. i don really know why.
and he doesnt call me that often to talk too. we tried to talk on the phone, but.. silence was on the line too. really dunno what to do.. sighs.. seeing couples on the streets yakkin away makes me think that perhaps we arent really meant for each other. i have alot of guys friends. i TALK alot when im with them. they even call me quite oftenly to chat.. get wat i mean?? [/b][/quote]
[quote]Originally posted by potatostick:
i've always thought that communication is the MAIN thing in r/s.. am i right to say that?? i really like him alot.. im sure the feeling's mutual, if not, he wouldn't spend half a year wooing me, and now, another 4mths' time and smses on me.. sighs.. but i really wish to improve this r/s..
i just wanna talk more to him.. is there really nothing i can do?? if he doesnt wish to open his mouth.. thats it? sighss.
Another thing to note. 'Communication' can be of different things like sharing of activities and moments together... It doesn't necessarily have to be talking...
When he don't wanna 'talk', it's really not a wise thing to keep 'pushing' for it... Trust me, 'talking' just for the sake of 'talking' can be a very boring and hectic thing... The last thing you want is to bored him, stress him out, and makes him feel as if he's 'working' for this relationship...
I would advise you instead to let him have much of his own privacy and time, and strike up APPROPRIATE conversations or activities instead... Remember... 'Communication' is not only about 'talking'... It's also about the things you do together....
And about your wanting to 'improve' this relationship... Takes a little patience yeah...?
PS. Although I would say that there could be a chance that he may be 'difting' from you, but it's never wise to give much credibility to such assumptions in the 1st place. Besides, it's not a healthy.. Whatever's the case, try working your way out through 'activities'? -
One point to note. She's a young lady.Originally posted by Devil1976:1st bad presumption. Being a couple doesn't mean that they would definitely have to talk more. Sometimes one can be tired. Enjoys a moment of solitary or just wants a fair bit of privacy. Not everyone's in for an 'active mode' 24 hours (or maybe not even lasting up to 2-3 hours? Varying among individuals? ) around the clock.
Another thing to note. 'Communication' can be of different things like sharing of activities and moments together... It doesn't necessarily have to be talking...
When he don't wanna 'talk', it's really not a wise thing to keep 'pushing' for it... Trust me, 'talking' just for the sake of 'talking' can be a very boring and hectic thing... The last thing you want is to bored him, stress him out, and makes him feel as if he's 'working' for this relationship...
I would advise you instead to let him have much of his own privacy and time, and strike up APPROPRIATE conversations or activities instead... Remember... 'Communication' is not only about 'talking'... It's also about the things you do together....
And about your wanting to 'improve' this relationship... Takes a little patience yeah...?
PS. Although I would say that there could be a chance that he may be 'difting' from you, but it's never wise to give much credibility to such assumptions in the 1st place. Besides, it's not a healthy.. Whatever's the case, try working your way out through 'activities'?
Yeah agreed. -
aiyo..y like that..me and my gf had lots of shit and sai to tok abt de.
help him massage, tickle him, blow his ear etc.. will make life more interesting -
Is he like this when u first know him?
If u really have nothing in common to talk about, then u have a problem.
Every couple should be able to talk freely to each other about anything.
U should update each other abt what is happening each day