will you or will you not?
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i no longer have feelings for my hubby yet i stay on and sacrifice my life because of the kids?
if u were me, will u do dat? please advise! -
is there a new guy in your life?
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u should stay ...for ur kids' sake.they need a proper family
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why? no way to improve the situation?Originally posted by TulipSs:i no longer have feelings for my hubby yet i stay on and sacrifice my life because of the kids? if u were me, will u do dat? please advise! -
4 kids
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for a certain reasons i will ask you to..like for the sake of your childrens and ofcuz yourself..but if there is really nothing you can do to save this marriage of yours then its advicable for you to leave him soon...but provided that you can take care of the childrens by your own..orelse you are going to face difficulties in the future~
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nope....he is a very selfish person...i married him at a v young age...he is 10yrs my senior...he a v stingy towards me and my kids....when i ask him to pay fer kid's tuition fees....he keep saying he got no money...and he always blame me dat i did not help pay bills...yet he can buy a car and go drinking everyday and somtimes he dun even come n slp. He control me since e day i married him..he dun allow me to work but i insist i wanna go out n work to make some money..cos all along i am leading a hand to mouth basis...i have to ask him for money everyday even to buy a pkt of salt. it been 10over yrs. somtimes i ask myself y should i waste my time on him..i m still young...
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there is really nothing you can do to improve this situation? from what i see,all problems lies with money..but as you've said,its already been 10years and im sure that your kids are also quite big right now...have you tot of their future? like they don't have any daddy?Originally posted by TulipSs:nope....he is a very selfish person...i married him at a v young age...he is 10yrs my senior...he a v stingy towards me and my kids....when i ask him to pay fer kid's tuition fees....he keep saying he got no money...and he always blame me dat i did not help pay bills...yet he can buy a car and go drinking everyday and somtimes he dun even come n slp. He control me since e day i married him..he dun allow me to work but i insist i wanna go out n work to make some money..cos all along i am leading a hand to mouth basis...i have to ask him for money everyday even to buy a pkt of salt. it been 10over yrs. somtimes i ask myself y should i waste my time on him..i m still young... -
Originally posted by TulipSs:nope....he is a very selfish person...i married him at a v young age...he is 10yrs my senior...he a v stingy towards me and my kids....when i ask him to pay fer kid's tuition fees....he keep saying he got no money...and he always blame me dat i did not help pay bills...yet he can buy a car and go drinking everyday and somtimes he dun even come n slp. He control me since e day i married him..he dun allow me to work but i insist i wanna go out n work to make some money..cos all along i am leading a hand to mouth basis...i have to ask him for money everyday even to buy a pkt of salt. it been 10over yrs. somtimes i ask myself y should i waste my time on him..i m still young...
Complicating past brings forth complicating future.
If you married for reasons other than love... you will end the marriage reasons other than love.
Then WHY got married in the first place?
Shotgun?
Cheers -
Love is about commitment.....but if you tink it's nt worth it,carry on...move on wif ur life.It's all about happiness in life.....isn't it?
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WHAT A JERK. LEAVE HIM. TAKE THE KIDS WITH YOU. EXPLAIN TO THE KIDS ABOUT THE SITUATION. MAKE SUR ETHEY UNDERSTAND.
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try find the spark, the romance.....make an effort. Dun owez rely on ur hubby to make tis things happen. U shud be responsible as well. Do u prefer a negative impact on ur kids? And live in denial that its ur husband's fault the marriage failed? Or find a way to communicate wit ur husband, re-ignite the spark in ur marriage?
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[quote]Originally posted by TulipSs:
i no longer have feelings for my hubby yet i stay on and sacrifice my life because of the kids? if u were me, will u do dat? please advise
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how old your kids?? do they need a father? will they understand it if you had a divorce?? if i were to choose, i'd stay on for my kids.
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Consult a professional marriage councilor.. Ask her/him to be the middleman to negotiate for better living conditions.. If things deterioate, You can always move out to your parents' house temporally, till her gives in to your demand.. If not, Against his decisions, go and work, earn your own keep, till he knows that you have your own rights. Hes trying to put you down by disallowing you to work. From the way he keeps going out to drink at nights, he might be having more flings than you ever thought. darn him. Hes a bloody jerk. Hes spoiling your life. You should learn to enjoy life more. Your children? Yeahz, they gotta learn to cope. Discuss with your children about their dad. If they share the same sentiments as you. Divorce is AN option. Find a better guy, Im sure your children won't mind. In the worst case, they will be with their dad. Hahz. Less troubles.
Well. Thats just an alternative. YOu dun wanna be blackmailed in the future, when your husband turns bankrupt, and you well off with another guy, and he comes back and demand cash from you, children from you, and mess up your "perfect" marriage.
Talk to him. He might be suffering from much stress from work and can't find an outlet to de-stress. Try to make him smile more often with simple surprises like a fabulous dinner, sharing wine with him etc. More communication is the critical point in this case.
Will i, ever see you smile again
will you, ever kiss me gently anymore?
will love, turned up when the moon shines
will us, ever become like the past
or will you not.
Lah~ =D Tis poem's for you. Good luck in Whatever choices you are planning to make. -
Strangely her type of cases is actually quite common. I know of at least 2 failed marriage whereby the guy over control the lady and in the end physically abused her. Both cases ends up in divorce whereby the lady bring up the kids alone. Wonder why girls keep falling for such overdominating jerks.Originally posted by Yunhaier: Complicating past brings forth complicating future.
If you married for reasons other than love... you will end the marriage reasons other than love.
Then WHY got married in the first place?
Shotgun?
Cheers -
go for marriage counselling
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First learn to be financially independent.
Are u able to get a job after being a housewife for so long?
Can your family help in looking after the kids if u work?
Getting a divorce may not solve all your problems cos your husband may not pay maintenance.
Talk to him abt increasing household allowance first.
Tell him that cost of living is increasing.
U may need to spend time together without the kids to strengthen your r/s. -
Yoz...
If tt guy is a jerk...juz gt divorced from him...n move on...
I am sure Ur kids will understand...I assume the kids r closer to U...tt will makes tins better...
Before U decided to divorce him...try to salvage the relationship...divorce is the last option...if the guy a jerk n he doesnt know hw to change for the better...then U haf no choice...
Cheers... -
Notice: I advise everyone who comment here to refrain from naming TulipsS husband a 'jerk' or any other unwanted terms.
Here in Aunt Agony, it is a place for rationale advices to be discussed.
There are reasons why the marriage failed from the beginning.
But i feel that we are not getting the full picture/story, so the judgement went loopsided, bias.
Let's be matured and look at this issue on hand with neutral ground.
The husband is NOT at fault until he presented his facts.
P.S: Marriage problems usually doesn't only end up with the cause from either spouse, if both presented their story, we'll realise that there's more to it.
It always is two way, never one.
Cheers -
I would advise you to do that, but also spare a thought for yourself and create a part of life where at least a portion of your own well-being is being concerned... That will just do everybody more good ultimately....?Originally posted by TulipSs:i no longer have feelings for my hubby yet i stay on and sacrifice my life because of the kids? if u were me, will u do dat? please advise!