helping a friend
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my friend broke up with his gf a few months back...
seems now he's feeling worse than ever...
coz he juz found out he's been cheated all along...
how can i help him out???
been talking to him.. telling him to move on...
but he refuses...
wat can i do to help him?
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Is your friend those types who keep troubles to himself until he recovers from the tragedies? If thats the case, maybe u might just want to let him be alone if he doesn't want to talk about it. Let him sort things out himself.
Just my personal view, hope that helps.
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not really...Originally posted by grief00:Is your friend those types who keep troubles to himself until he recovers from the tragedies? If thats the case, maybe u might just want to let him be alone if he doesn't want to talk about it. Let him sort things out himself.
Just my personal view, hope that helps.
but now all clam up liao...
very worried bout him...
keep saying wan to die... -
"Living well is the best revenge."
- George Herbert
Your friend is a lucky man. Not meant to be sarcastic, but there are real-life examples of men whose wives cheated on them with their (the wife's) male friends, and those men are still living well with their new families.
Your friend would be very foolish if he destroyed his life over a cause as unworthy as the ex-girlfriend. Invite him out for some drinks or whatever he usually likes doing with you and his buddies. (Alcohol is not very healthy, but it could be therapeutic for matters of the heart -- it does help to either numb the pain or release some of the pain out.) Sometimes male bonding might be useful, but in the end it all depends on him to reach out and accept the helping hand offered by good friends like you.
Time is the best healer, and men generally recover faster from such setbacks than women. The only worry is that if your friend takes it too hard, he may not trust a woman easily again and could even become a little misogynistic, which does not bode well for his future relationships. -
hope so also...Originally posted by Tuatau:Time is the best healer, and men generally recover faster from such setbacks than women.
sigh...
wen shi jian qi wei he wu...
zhi jiao ren sheng shi xiang zu... -
how long were they together?
he is in so call shock mode.
he always say want to die want to die but super strange this type of people never ever die. so just stay cool
How to help ?
method 1
Super highly effective method!
Slap him both side of the face so hard that it leaves a burning pain on his face and Say, Oi you so weak is it? Your ex gf enjoying her life now and you are here saying you want to die. Will she care? She will sure laugh at you and say she is rite in cheating you, for you have proved her rite for being such a useless fk. Get up and be a man! Show the shit who she is dealing with.
P.S ( This are the actual words my friend used to help me in the past. She actually hit me so hard that I fell to the ground. But I find it super effective and I regard her as my best friend till today. For she has shown me the light and yes my friend is a gal, people even ran away when she hit me, they thought she was mad liao. )
method 2
Talk and talk
haiz semi effective can just try to keep talking say nice things to me. Will work on some people but not all.
method 3
Scold the gf hoping will change her mind.
Hey I know this idea sounds weird lar but not highly effective. My friend did try it once for me without my knowledge but kena scolded back by my ex , and the two nearly kena cat fight. haiz, that was a sad case.
method 4
Bring him to see his gf who is enjoying life without him.
This method is to shock him and show him his ex has move on liao no point holding on.
method 5
Intro some new gals to him
Humm will work only if the girl is interested in him or at least give him hope that he still wanted by girls and forget the gf.
method 6
Ask parents to help
Well only works on people who are close to their parents. As they will listern to their parents advice.
method 7
Bring him go geylang to have a fun time to lighten him up
Sadly this method is something which I too had a hard timing in believing but my findings show that 20% actually use this method to find some peace to the hurt that their ex had inflicted on them. This method has 2 highly rated but strange outcome. !) They love paid sex so much that they will never find any gfs again and keep going back there , they are scare to be hurt. 2) They will pay for sex but strangly they cannot perform when seduced by all means, Haha weird rite? but this type are the strong ones who can bounce back up when they are given time. I have seen this type of guys bounce back and stop thinking about their ex and move on and now are happily married to their new gf.
Final thought :
These methods were taught to me when I was down like your friend. I believe that as a friend you can only advice him thats all. Please use these methods wisly and hope that your friend can recover from this experience. Life is short so please do not waste time on a gal who has betray him. -
very interesting...Originally posted by drx:How to help ?
method 1 - 7
Final thought :
These methods were taught to me when I was down like your friend. I believe that as a friend you can only advice him thats all. Please use these methods wisly and hope that your friend can recover from this experience. Life is short so please do not waste time on a gal who has betray him.
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method 5 is not gd... rebound love cannot last one. its jus a false feeling.
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using method 2 now...
method 4 is a big no no...
its the cause of his present state now...
method 5...
won't be fair to the girl rite... -
Originally posted by drx:how long were they together?
he is in so call shock mode.
he always say want to die want to die but super strange this type of people never ever die. so just stay cool
How to help ?
method 1
method 2
method 3
method 4
method 5
method 6
method 7
Final thought :
When One's experience happened, it is all up to himself to decide when to learn, to move on.
It is a matter of the heart.These methods were taught to me when I was down like your friend. <<<>>>
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Keyword: He refuses...Originally posted by hyuuga neji:my friend broke up with his gf a few months back...
seems now he's feeling worse than ever...
coz he juz found out he's been cheated all along...
how can i help him out???
been talking to him.. telling him to move on...
but he refuses...
wat can i do to help him?
A man who is in his 'dream' and suddenly awoken by a rude news which he had never thought of, will not recover as fast as a normal breakup.
He might be melchanoly about the whole think day and night.
I'm not surprised if he still wants her back because he is not willing to wake up.
Give him time to get over the dream.
It deals with the ego and his ability as a man/a bf. I understand the feeling.
Nurse him by telling him the fact that he's not alone.
I've been cheated before and many others do, just that they didn't say.
p.s: I've been thru it. If you really think your friend needs help, i can offer to meet up and listen to him?
PM me if there's anything i can help all right?
Cheers -
He has to come to terms with things...
You can only be around ... and listen or advice.
Not much you can do if he choose to stay where he is
But as all things, he needs to let time take its course
and let the issue fall into place.
Without the proper process to grief or
the appropriate emotional response
It would be unhealthy for him
Do not try to push anyone long to so call get "better"
Everyone has their own internal clock
thus be it one year or 1 month
The best you can do is just to be there.
But if its extended beyond one year,
You then need to ask the friend to really face things
and take charge of his life.
This is a personal opinion ..
I had friends whom I felt did not go through the proper process
After that they just take the next person as a substitude. Its not fair
to everyone. Its just the start of more issues. -
Originally posted by mistyblue:He has to come to terms with things...
You can only be around ... and listen or advice.
Not much you can do if he choose to stay where he is
But as all things, he needs to let time take its course
and let the issue fall into place.
Without the proper process to grief or
the appropriate emotional response
It would be unhealthy for him
Do not try to push anyone long to so call get "better"
Everyone has their own internal clock
thus be it one year or 1 month
The best you can do is just to be there.
But if its extended beyond one year,
You then need to ask the friend to really face things
and take charge of his life.
This is a personal opinion ..
I had friends whom I felt did not go through the proper process
After that they just take the next person as a substitude. Its not fair
to everyone. Its just the start of more issues. -
yes... he still wans her back...Originally posted by M©+square:Keyword: He refuses...
A man who is in his 'dream' and suddenly awoken by a rude news which he had never thought of, will not recover as fast as a normal breakup.
He might be melchanoly about the whole think day and night.
I'm not surprised if he still wants her back because he is not willing to wake up.
Give him time to get over the dream.
It deals with the ego and his ability as a man/a bf. I understand the feeling.
Nurse him by telling him the fact that he's not alone.
I've been cheated before and many others do, just that they didn't say.
p.s: I've been thru it. If you really think your friend needs help, i can offer to meet up and listen to him?
PM me if there's anything i can help all right?
Cheers
but we'll keep talking to him...
if need will scold him a bit...
thanks all for your advice...
really appreciate it... -
yupz... guess you are rite also...Originally posted by mistyblue:He has to come to terms with things...
You can only be around ... and listen or advice.
Not much you can do if he choose to stay where he is
But as all things, he needs to let time take its course
and let the issue fall into place.
Without the proper process to grief or
the appropriate emotional response
It would be unhealthy for him
Do not try to push anyone long to so call get "better"
Everyone has their own internal clock
thus be it one year or 1 month
The best you can do is just to be there.
But if its extended beyond one year,
You then need to ask the friend to really face things
and take charge of his life.
This is a personal opinion ..
I had friends whom I felt did not go through the proper process
After that they just take the next person as a substitude. Its not fair
to everyone. Its just the start of more issues.
will let him take him time...
and provide a listening ear for him also...
thank you for your advice... -
If he refuse to help himself nothing u can do also lah.Originally posted by hyuuga neji:my friend broke up with his gf a few months back...
seems now he's feeling worse than ever...
coz he juz found out he's been cheated all along...
how can i help him out???
been talking to him.. telling him to move on...
but he refuses...
wat can i do to help him?
Maybe one day he will wake up..hopefully. -
Introduce him here...?Originally posted by hyuuga neji:my friend broke up with his gf a few months back...
seems now he's feeling worse than ever...
coz he juz found out he's been cheated all along...
how can i help him out???
been talking to him.. telling him to move on...
but he refuses...
wat can i do to help him?
Think it'll be much easier if we can converse with him personally...? -
referred him here b4 liao...Originally posted by Devil1976:Introduce him here...?
Think it'll be much easier if we can converse with him personally...?
last week b4 i posted this thread...
anyway... we're getting him to open up liao...
hoping for the best... -
Hello hyuuga
I hope your friend is getting better now.
RegardsOriginally posted by hyuuga neji:referred him here b4 liao...
last week b4 i posted this thread...
anyway... we're getting him to open up liao...
hoping for the best... -
Okie... See how it goes...? If he feel like just pouring out one day, remind him that he can always do it in here...?Originally posted by hyuuga neji:referred him here b4 liao...
last week b4 i posted this thread...
anyway... we're getting him to open up liao...
hoping for the best...
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Originally posted by hyuuga neji:my friend broke up with his gf a few months back...
seems now he's feeling worse than ever...
coz he juz found out he's been cheated all along...
how can i help him out???
been talking to him.. telling him to move on...
but he refuses...
wat can i do to help him? 
He refuses to move on despite knowing that his ex-gf cheated on him? So its pretty logical to presume that he still wouldn't have move on even if she left him naturally without souring the relationship?
His heart doesn't want - you can't do anything about it.
Cheers -
hi all...
thank you so much for your adviice...
i really appreciate it...
my friend's slightly better now...
got him to talk and share his burden...
hopefully he'll be on the road to recovery soon...
once again... a big big thank you to everyone... -
Glad to hear that your friend is recovering.
For the next step:
Maybe get him to read more about people who had suffer the same problem as him, especially the part on how thier problems were solved.
Slowly as he reads he will understand that there is always a solution for any problems in life and death is not the only way.
The road in life is very long but I am glad for him as have such a good friend like you who care so much for him.
P.S. Remember my method 1 ? Up till today no one has ever use that, other then my best friend. She says that I must wake up and get out of my dream state. Sure glad she did it. -
method 1 ar...Originally posted by drx:P.S. Remember my method 1 ? Up till today no one has ever use that, other then my best friend. She says that I must wake up and get out of my dream state. Sure glad she did it.
not necessary lah...
he beginning to see light liao...