May i ask, what exactly is chemistry? If a girl can get along well wif u but u have no feelings for her would you consider that chemistry?Originally posted by rainee:Must need to have feelings first...
Don't love her just because you need her...Want her not just because she can make your life comfy...Love her because you truly feel it...
Love cannot be forced, it can be developed over time but if the chemistry is not there, no matter what you do, the r/s will not last forever...
No.I am not trying to sell myself.Originally posted by ramblingjoe:Let me ask u guys one question. If there was a girl who was very practical to be with (can work well with you and make your life quite comfy) would you take the girl as your gf even if you have no feelings towards her? The girl seems to have some feelings towards you. In such a situation can love be cultivated, like enter into a r/s with her and try to like her?![]()
No, I would not consider that chemistry. Chemistry is the unmistakable feelings that are shared by both parties. Not just by one.Originally posted by ramblingjoe:May i ask, what exactly is chemistry? If a girl can get along well wif u but u have no feelings for her would you consider that chemistry?
Originally posted by ramblingjoe:Let me ask u guys one question. If there was a girl who was very practical to be with (can work well with you and make your life quite comfy) would you take the girl as your gf even if you have no feelings towards her? The girl seems to have some feelings towards you. In such a situation can love be cultivated, like enter into a r/s with her and try to like her?![]()
To start... I would like to tell you that I probably won't be going into such a relationship... Okie.. Back to reality...Originally posted by ramblingjoe:Let me ask u guys one question. If there was a girl who was very practical to be with (can work well with you and make your life quite comfy) would you take the girl as your gf even if you have no feelings towards her? The girl seems to have some feelings towards you. In such a situation can love be cultivated, like enter into a r/s with her and try to like her?![]()
A good point to mention here... Often there're 2 main ways in which things can work out....Originally posted by Tuatau:Yes, it can. There are many couples, especially those in our parents' generation and older, who didn't really share any intense passion between them, yet have stayed together longer in their relationships.
sorry, but u give me the feeling that you are trying to be a little white face...no offence though...Originally posted by ramblingjoe:Let me ask u guys one question. If there was a girl who was very practical to be with (can work well with you and make your life quite comfy) would you take the girl as your gf even if you have no feelings towards her? The girl seems to have some feelings towards you. In such a situation can love be cultivated, like enter into a r/s with her and try to like her?![]()
i 2nd that..Originally posted by countdracula:passion, feeling and so forth...these are temporal only. guys, you need to pay real attention to a whole host of things... does the girl treat you right, how she gets along with your family, especially your folks and is she the type that demands you to leave your friends. trust me, i've known plenty of man wanting out after marriage because of the above reasons.....
other thing is finance....money talks man, if you ain't got it...you cannot imagine how difficult it is to support a family....a 4 person family can easily cost you $3k to $4k monthly just to 'break even'...and what more with everything increasing, latest is public transport fare....so you got to be really practical......do not let the hormones rule...
Originally posted by Devil1976:To start... I would like to tell you that I probably won't be going into such a relationship... Okie.. Back to reality...
I've been through such relationships before... Things often just work out quite smoothly... Like what you've said, love might just slowly cook its way out from there.. Even if it doesn't, the feeling's often rather mutual... And so comfortable that neither party would be too quick into anything else....
Personally, I feel that it's the mentality of both parties and what you wish to get out of the relationship... Ultimately, are you okie with just how things are...?
Like I've said, very much dependent on mentality of both parties... A 'safer' bet would be a 'no obligation' kind of relationship development... But no doubt, there can be quite alot of misunderstandings and complications when both parties are working on a different frequency ultimately....Originally posted by Yunhaier:X2.
If you can accept such a deal, do not retrace your route and end up telling yourself that you didn't actually love her in the first place and break up with her sometime in the future. Such things do happen and it's all part of the risk of going ahead with such relationship.
Feelings can be developed, conversely, nothing can happen.
Cheers
if the ger gets along well with ur family, and ur parents love her, she will ask u if u wanna go out with ur frenz, n treats u ok.. so she's a good catch?Originally posted by countdracula:passion, feeling and so forth...these are temporal only. guys, you need to pay real attention to a whole host of things... does the girl treat you right, how she gets along with your family, especially your folks and is she the type that demands you to leave your friends. trust me, i've known plenty of man wanting out after marriage because of the above reasons.....
other thing is finance....money talks man, if you ain't got it...you cannot imagine how difficult it is to support a family....a 4 person family can easily cost you $3k to $4k monthly just to 'break even'...and what more with everything increasing, latest is public transport fare....so you got to be really practical......do not let the hormones rule...
Originally posted by ramblingjoe:Let me ask u guys one question. If there was a girl who was very practical to be with (can work well with you and make your life quite comfy) would you take the girl as your gf even if you have no feelings towards her? The girl seems to have some feelings towards you. In such a situation can love be cultivated, like enter into a r/s with her and try to like her?![]()
The dollar and sense mentioned by countdracula is practical but you're not hiring an accountant, nor are you considering marriage yet, so it's not entirely relevant. Anyway being friends first allows you to find out more about her values and priorities.i'm not being defensive here, but unless you walk the walk, you've got no idea what's in store ahead of you.
money does not rank low, I agreed!!Originally posted by countdracula:i'm not being defensive here, but unless you walk the walk, you've got no idea what's in store ahead of you.
before you let the sparks fly, speak to those in marriage. if you think money ranks lowly in a marriage, then you don't know half of it. true, you can't measure happiness by how much you have but you sure can measure how miserable by how much you do not have. look at the debt situation in singapore, many folks including graduates are maxing out their cards and it's not always for shopping or luxury goods.
the irony of life is such... you want kids but then you work late thru the night to get that career, but by the time you are at your death bed, you'll never hear anyone saying they wished they had spent more time at work...but then if you don't have double income, you'll find life is tough...