Feeling???
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Do u guys still continue as friends with a gal u liked very much even though she have reject u before?? I have this suituation where I want to be friends with the gal who reject me before. She is still friendly with me but the problem is when I saw her, I tend to like 'automatic' tried to avoid her. Will have this sad and sour feeling when looking at her, but yet sometime miss her and yearn to see her again. Is it because I am not mature enuff, that is why I will feel like that when looking at her?? Should I just stay away from her totally so that I would not have this sad feeling again??
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It's pretty normal to feel like that. I can safely say you're not the person to feel like this. Just sounds like you haven't really gotten over her or you're still feeling hurt from being rejected. Really, it's up to you to decide whether you want to continue being frens.
Maybe you can talk to her and find out why she rejected you, if you didn't know already. Don't act like you'll like another chance, just for your own benefit or rest your mind/heart. The hardest part is probably facing/talking to her. Once you;re pass that, it should be smooth sailing.
**My first post btw
hello to all -
ok, thanks for the advice. Btw, hi newbie!!!! Thanks for contributing your first post on my thread...heheOriginally posted by 443BXdrv:It's pretty normal to feel like that. I can safely say you're not the person to feel like this. Just sounds like you haven't really gotten over her or you're still feeling hurt from being rejected. Really, it's up to you to decide whether you want to continue being frens.
Maybe you can talk to her and find out why she rejected you, if you didn't know already. Don't act like you'll like another chance, just for your own benefit or rest your mind/heart. The hardest part is probably facing/talking to her. Once you;re pass that, it should be smooth sailing.
**My first post btw hello to all -
Originally posted by SpeedStar:
Looks like she wants you to be "just friends", but if you are not confident that you can be "just friends" with her, then it'd be better to let the friendship run its course and fade away.
I have this suituation where I want to be friends with the gal who reject me before. She is still friendly with me but the problem is when I saw her, I tend to like 'automatic' tried to avoid her.
And from the looks of your description, you don't sound confident. -
Yap, i though i can forget everything and just stay as friends with her. But fortunately, i will not be meeting her as we will be working in different coy. Its very sad for me to turn up like this. Have to give up a friend becos I can't get over. Haiz...but thanks for ur comment.Originally posted by Tuatau:Looks like she wants you to be "just friends", but if you are not confident that you can be "just friends" with her, then it'd be better to let the friendship run its course and fade away.
And from the looks of your description, you don't sound confident.
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Originally posted by SpeedStar:
most people do get over it. the difference is how long.
Have to give up a friend becos I can't get over.
personally, i think it is a waste that one gives up on a friendship when nothing further is going to happen. especially when shared experiences already exist. one misses out on experiences that you dont usually get from other relationships.
of course this is not a suggestion to try harder.
it is something that you could consider only when you have decided to move on. -
I thank you for ur reply. I think maybe I still need time and confident before I can treat her as normal friends. Sometimes I really hate my ego. I really concern about her, but in front of her, I just gave her this 'don't care' look. But I just afraid if I get close to her again, I migt fall for her and has false hope again....Haiz, I will let her go...for a while. Before I can let go of this weird feeling and treat her as a normal friend, I think its best not to contact her again. This will some how make me like a loser but I think it should be the best for me at the moment.Originally posted by eyonx:most people do get over it. the difference is how long.
personally, i think it is a waste that one gives up on a friendship when nothing further is going to happen. especially when shared experiences already exist. one misses out on experiences that you dont usually get from other relationships.
of course this is not a suggestion to try harder.
it is something that you could consider only when you have decided to move on. -
Originally posted by SpeedStar:Do u guys still continue as friends with a gal u liked very much even though she have reject u before?? I have this suituation where I want to be friends with the gal who reject me before. She is still friendly with me but the problem is when I saw her, I tend to like 'automatic' tried to avoid her. Will have this sad and sour feeling when looking at her, but yet sometime miss her and yearn to see her again. Is it because I am not mature enuff, that is why I will feel like that when looking at her?? Should I just stay away from her totally so that I would not have this sad feeling again??
Being friends automatically doesn't mean anything other than friends. One-sided love is usually greedy and wants more than what it could hold.
Her constant presence reminded you of your love and feelings for her; if you are emotionally weak or vulnerable type of people, usually such thingy will happen. You don't wish to lose the friendship, yet when the friendship resume back to before, where you decide to chase her, this feelings returns - trigger the automatic avoidance as you are subconsciously reminded of your rejection.
There's no best alternative here; if you can't handle it, then forget it: You can keep the distance. You won't lose that friendship, but obviously you would probably reduce the level of friendship to that of a causal one... till the day you are able to overcome this psychological cum emotional stigma.
Cheers -
for your case is possible to be friends but first you must clear your mindset.
Your mind has not given up on her yet, that is why you got these problems.
First tell yourself is over she do not like you and she will never ever like you at all.
you will never have a chance and stop kidding yourself. so stop thinking that it is possible. If you can change this mindset of yours then is possible to be friends with her if not you will remain in the cycle of hoping and wishing she will be back to you.
I went through the whole thing a few times liao. so I know how it feels. Is hard to change the mindset but is possible and a strong will. When you wake up from your dream, then you will discover that the so call " LOve of your Life" has so many bad points that you even will ask why you even love her at all. -
Thanks for your great advice bro. U never fail to amaze me with your long long essay.Originally posted by Yunhaier: Being friends automatically doesn't mean anything other than friends. One-sided love is usually greedy and wants more than what it could hold.
Her constant presence reminded you of your love and feelings for her; if you are emotionally weak or vulnerable type of people, usually such thingy will happen. You don't wish to lose the friendship, yet when the friendship resume back to before, where you decide to chase her, this feelings returns - trigger the automatic avoidance as you are subconsciously reminded of your rejection.
There's no best alternative here; if you can't handle it, then forget it: You can keep the distance. You won't lose that friendship, but obviously you would probably reduce the level of friendship to that of a causal one... till the day you are able to overcome this psychological cum emotional stigma.
Cheers -
This is really sad because your feeling been hurted. you may think that she can pretend nothing happen at all when you confessed yr feeling to her. wise said before , being loved by someone is happiness but loving someone is miserable. you are the miserable one but doesn't mean you don't have any hope. You learn how to boost up yr confidence. take it as a beginning. slowly she will realise how important you are to her. if you want her , you Must win her heart
trust me , love is like miracleOriginally posted by SpeedStar:Do u guys still continue as friends with a gal u liked very much even though she have reject u before?? I have this suituation where I want to be friends with the gal who reject me before. She is still friendly with me but the problem is when I saw her, I tend to like 'automatic' tried to avoid her. Will have this sad and sour feeling when looking at her, but yet sometime miss her and yearn to see her again. Is it because I am not mature enuff, that is why I will feel like that when looking at her?? Should I just stay away from her totally so that I would not have this sad feeling again?? -
Thanks for the reply, but I felt I don't really stand a chance towards her. But I will still stay by her side as a friend cos I still care for her.Originally posted by thelesis:This is really sad because your feeling been hurted. you may think that she can pretend nothing happen at all when you confessed yr feeling to her. wise said before , being loved by someone is happiness but loving someone is miserable. you are the miserable one but doesn't mean you don't have any hope. You learn how to boost up yr confidence. take it as a beginning. slowly she will realise how important you are to her. if you want her , you Must win her heart trust me , love is like miracle -
Great, i got a close guy frd last time but after i rejected him, he distanced me away..i felt so sad coz i lost a gd frdOriginally posted by SpeedStar:Thanks for the reply, but I felt I don't really stand a chance towards her. But I will still stay by her side as a friend cos I still care for her.
sigh ~ -
Originally posted by SpeedStar:
That's good to hear. You could do what many men couldn't, though be prepared your friendship may never be the same as before. Especially when one or both of you get involved with someone else. Good luck.
But I will still stay by her side as a friend cos I still care for her. -
Well my suituation is the same as your good friend although I think we r not that good yet, since I know her for only....2mth. But she is willing to share some of her family problem with me, so I think she is still quite comfortable with me. I understand ur friend's plight for distance u away, and he might be suffering the same problem with me...for moving on. But the difference between me and him is I won't give up this friend of mine and I wish her happiness.Originally posted by 101wish:Great, i got a close guy frd last time but after i rejected him, he distanced me away..i felt so sad coz i lost a gd frd sigh ~
Currently she is not seeing someone although I suspect she might have admire somebody already. She told me she dun want to have relationship yet and say she might stay single forever. But I try not to think so much on wat she say now, if she has found a good companionship, I will be happy for her. To love someone is not to own, but to wish for happiness her.Originally posted by Tuatau:That's good to hear. You could do what many men couldn't, though be prepared your friendship may never be the same as before. Especially when one or both of you get involved with someone else. Good luck.
Finally I thank u for all who gave me sincere advice. I already know what I want and will procced to do so. Next time if i post in AA side, hopefully the tittle should be " Yay, I finally found a mei lar" instead of those sad sad stories. Cheers. -
Just move on you loser.
farking wussy.
Applies to u all here males who acts like a gal in a relationship.
OPEN UP YOUR BLOODY EYES!
LOSERS! -
Originally posted by SpeedStar:
That's all right. Most happy people don't come here, less post here. They are busy being happy, and that's what you should do too when you find your happiness.
Finally I thank u for all who gave me sincere advice. I already know what I want and will procced to do so. Next time if i post in AA side, hopefully the tittle should be " Yay, I finally found a mei lar" instead of those sad sad stories. Cheers. -
Originally posted by SpeedStar:Finally I thank u for all who gave me sincere advice. I already know what I want and will procced to do so. Next time if i post in AA side, hopefully the tittle should be " Yay, I finally found a mei lar" instead of those sad sad stories. Cheers.
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Originally posted by Tuatau:That's all right. Most happy people don't come here, less post here. They are busy being happy, and that's what you should do too when you find your happiness.
