Who to choose?
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Dear Aunt Agony,
Hi. I'm writing here because I'm at a loss.... I'm 21, currently studying in a tertiary instituion. Hmmmm.... I have problems choosing between 2 guys. Let's call them Mr A and Mr C.
Mr A is my current schoolmate whom I got to know a year ago doing a school project. But we didn't keep in touch and I many months later (recently), I bumped into him in school again. After that, we met for lunch, followed by more lunches subsequently. Now he asked me out and message me everyday so the hint that he is interested is pretty broad.
Mr C is someone I know for....... like 8 years because he's my secondary school classmate. He liked me for 6 years now. I didn't know he likes me until last year when he told me. I was very surprised... and touched by his sincerity but initially, I didn't like him because of his size.... he's very overweight and I thought we are quite different and not suitable for each other. But he never failed to touched me with his sincerity. I remember he gave me a very big help a couple of times....
Mr A... is 24 years old, very smart, driven and capable. Unlike Mr C, he's tall and skinny. Hmmm.... I'm not very sure about what his character is like because I don't know him for long. I do know that we have different religions. Character is a very important criteria for me cos I'm very afraid to make the mistake of choosing someone like my ex - stingy, unfaithful and nit-picking. Mr C is definitely a very nice guy but he's quite immature and because he's my age, he still has to study for a few years while I work. As for Mr A, older and more mature, I think he'll go far but character wise, I know very little. I need more time to get to know Mr A but I can tell Mc C is definitely a nicer person as in less temperamental, more honest....
I think I know that Mr C likes me a lot and is very accepting, very accommodating to me. I feel more at ease with him too cos he's my sec school friend. Mr A.... studied at very good schools in the past, unlike me whom come from a very mediocre school. I feel that I have to "act more intelligently" all the time. Heh...
I don't know which to be with. If I go with Mr A, I'll break Mr C's heart. And is Mr A really worth that although he's smart, capable and everything? Or should I just go with Mr C who likes me a lot, with good character, a simpler and more innocent person.... Opinions? I would really, really appreciate advices and opinions.... Thank you! -
Dear Be Myself,
1 advice: Enter a relationship because you feel you can love the person, NOT what benefits he can bring you.
I believe that 1 sentence encompasses everything that I want to say.
FeowFeowOriginally posted by be_myself:Dear Aunt Agony,
Hi. I'm writing here because I'm at a loss.... I'm 21, currently studying in a tertiary instituion. Hmmmm.... I have problems choosing between 2 guys. Let's call them Mr A and Mr C.
Mr A is my current schoolmate whom I got to know a year ago doing a school project. But we didn't keep in touch and I many months later (recently), I bumped into him in school again. After that, we met for lunch, followed by more lunches subsequently. Now he asked me out and message me everyday so the hint that he is interested is pretty broad.
Mr C is someone I know for....... like 8 years because he's my secondary school classmate. He liked me for 6 years now. I didn't know he likes me until last year when he told me. I was very surprised... and touched by his sincerity but initially, I didn't like him because of his size.... he's very overweight and I thought we are quite different and not suitable for each other. But he never failed to touched me with his sincerity. I remember he gave me a very big help a couple of times....
Mr A... is 24 years old, very smart, driven and capable. Unlike Mr C, he's tall and skinny. Hmmm.... I'm not very sure about what his character is like because I don't know him for long. I do know that we have different religions. Character is a very important criteria for me cos I'm very afraid to make the mistake of choosing someone like my ex - stingy, unfaithful and nit-picking. Mr C is definitely a very nice guy but he's quite immature and because he's my age, he still has to study for a few years while I work. As for Mr A, older and more mature, I think he'll go far but character wise, I know very little. I need more time to get to know Mr A but I can tell Mc C is definitely a nicer person as in less temperamental, more honest....
I think I know that Mr C likes me a lot and is very accepting, very accommodating to me. I feel more at ease with him too cos he's my sec school friend. Mr A.... studied at very good schools in the past, unlike me whom come from a very mediocre school. I feel that I have to "act more intelligently" all the time. Heh...
I don't know which to be with. If I go with Mr A, I'll break Mr C's heart. And is Mr A really worth that although he's smart, capable and everything? Or should I just go with Mr C who likes me a lot, with good character, a simpler and more innocent person.... Opinions? I would really, really appreciate advices and opinions.... Thank you! -
?u can't get the best of both worlds....the choice is yours...for me,i think a normal sg gal will choose A...
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Don't choose.
Know A better first? -
Why would you ask who to choose? Because you dun like either of them that much to go on a r/s?
Follow your heart. Looks is not all that matters, what's important is whether he is true and faithful to you. Mr C treats you very well like you said..he might not be successful now, but I believe everyone has their strengths and weaknesses. Dun hurry into a r/s, give yourself time..if you are not ready for a r/s, no matter who you are with, you will surely hurt that person..Never think in a way that you can return love out of gratitude though. -
i don't know about C
but my guess is that you're just infatuated with A, for his intellect n drive?
infatuation will fade...
and aft some time, you'll start to realise he's not that perfect aft all... -
21 so young.... finish ur stardees lah.
y worry, now this age is ger choose guys not the other way around. a good career = better career = better $$$ which will take care of ur future. or u rather depend on the man of ur life for ur future? -
if u still feel the need to choose....
Most prob you do not have to choose....u do not like either of them enough to make a clear choice -
well, i just wanna say that do what your heart tells u to do! I'm sure you already have an answer, just that u dare not do it. but let me tell u, make a decision and DON'T REGRET in future, whatever the outcome will be...
GOOD LUCK! -
is up to you chose but i offer a different view.
C is a loyal person whom i think will be faithful to you if you are looking for a person whom you can trust he is the one.
A is a hotshot , tall and handsome but wat makes u think he will definely chose you? Can u say that he will be faithful and love u always?
My advice for you is to wait for sometime since you are young and still can chose.
Have you just broken up with your bf? give some time first. -
i'll observe first decide later
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The choice is yours, think clearly and follow your heart, not your brain. I feel that C is really sincere and truely loves you, whereas A has only known you for a year, you don't know much about him and only see him for his drive/intellect etc..
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I'd say go with Mr C. Because bodies can change but character is very difficult to change. Ask Mr C to prove his sincerity by losing some weight! Isn't that the best of both worlds? Seriously, tell him you are considering accepting him but you are worried that his weight will bring health problems, make him die young....he wouldn't want you to be a widow, would he?
As for the age difference, donch worry lah....my wife older than me by 6 months, we are still happy together. Besides, women die later than men, so if you are the same age as him, you will be alone for a shorter time than if you choose an older guy (yeah quite lame now but you may appreciate this when you grown older).
All the best and may you be happy in whoever you choose. -
Do you have to make a choice now?
If you do, choose the one whom you feel more comfortable to be with.
Otherwise, give yourself some more time to observe and evaluate your compatibility between the two guys. Try not to rush into a relationship if you are unsure what you want. Your mindset may change when you start work later. -
Choose C.....but studee first
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Originally posted by be_myself:Dear Aunt Agony,
Hi. I'm writing here because I'm at a loss.... I'm 21, currently studying in a tertiary instituion. Hmmmm.... I have problems choosing between 2 guys. Let's call them Mr A and Mr C.
Mr A is my current schoolmate whom I got to know a year ago doing a school project. But we didn't keep in touch and I many months later (recently), I bumped into him in school again. After that, we met for lunch, followed by more lunches subsequently. Now he asked me out and message me everyday so the hint that he is interested is pretty broad.
Mr C is someone I know for....... like 8 years because he's my secondary school classmate. He liked me for 6 years now. I didn't know he likes me until last year when he told me. I was very surprised... and touched by his sincerity but initially, I didn't like him because of his size.... he's very overweight and I thought we are quite different and not suitable for each other. But he never failed to touched me with his sincerity. I remember he gave me a very big help a couple of times....
Mr A... is 24 years old, very smart, driven and capable. Unlike Mr C, he's tall and skinny. Hmmm.... I'm not very sure about what his character is like because I don't know him for long. I do know that we have different religions. Character is a very important criteria for me cos I'm very afraid to make the mistake of choosing someone like my ex - stingy, unfaithful and nit-picking. Mr C is definitely a very nice guy but he's quite immature and because he's my age, he still has to study for a few years while I work. As for Mr A, older and more mature, I think he'll go far but character wise, I know very little. I need more time to get to know Mr A but I can tell Mc C is definitely a nicer person as in less temperamental, more honest....
I think I know that Mr C likes me a lot and is very accepting, very accommodating to me. I feel more at ease with him too cos he's my sec school friend. Mr A.... studied at very good schools in the past, unlike me whom come from a very mediocre school. I feel that I have to "act more intelligently" all the time. Heh...
I don't know which to be with. If I go with Mr A, I'll break Mr C's heart. And is Mr A really worth that although he's smart, capable and everything? Or should I just go with Mr C who likes me a lot, with good character, a simpler and more innocent person.... Opinions? I would really, really appreciate advices and opinions.... Thank you!
Currently, you are attempting to choose a partner consciously. It's a good thing, but the facts you are having is not sufficient for you to make a sound decision. I could see your fear and insecurity in beginning a new relationship. Your past relationship spoke alot of your current emotional mindset and it would be good if you know how to channel these into positive vibes, instead of degenerating with your past.
Remember, you don't have to promise yourself anything. Eventually, even if you decide not to pursue either guys, its completely ok. Do not tie yourself with making a decision even before you had the thought of making that decision. You must keep your options open and see how fate plays its part before you make your final answer.
The qualities you are looking for ultimately may extend beyond that of stability. You may use time to explore the possibility (As an interesting note: going by statistic, the chances for YOU to enter a relationship with A is significiant higher. Don't ask me why because it would be another topic altogether).
P.S: Are you a Virgo, Taurus or Capricorn?
Cheers -
I don't think she has to ask whyOriginally posted by Yunhaier:The qualities you are looking for ultimately may extend beyond that of stability. You may use time to explore the possibility (As an interesting note: going by statistic, the chances for YOU to enter a relationship with A is significiant higher. Don't ask me why because it would be another topic altogether).
Cheers
, taking into consideration the mindset of the modern, independant woman. 
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why choose?
even if you get together with anyone of them, they won't be the person you'll end up with. you're still so young. haven't complete studies, haven't started working.
once you enter society proper, your perspective on life will change, you'll want different things, you'll meet more (interesting) people, nicer guys...
so my advice is just enjoy their company. that way you can't get hurt or hurt them when things don't work out.
all the best -
Originally posted by FeowFeow:1 advice: Enter a relationship because you feel you can love the person, NOT what benefits he can bring you.
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you are a blessed one, i'm sure more guys like you.
anyway, you contradicted yourself by saying that A was fat in one of the first few paragraphs and then A was tall and skinny in another paragraph. some doubt i have over here.
well if this is true, all i can say is follow your heart, your intuition, they'll lead you in the right direction.
money brings temporary happiness, whereas everlasting love brings eternal joy.
good luck in finding mr. right. -
I decide for u lah.
From the way u write,
U defintely go for A.
Why?
B'cos C is always there for u. 2, if not for 8 yrs already. -
Hi everyone! I wanna thank y'all for your opinions and advices.... some are really thoughtful and shows exact understanding of my situation and my feelings. I really appreciate it a lot. esp browniebaobao
, devoid05, Apollo_sg, Magnus, ilovemyrolex, Yunhaier, among others.
I... need more time to decide, to get to know both even better... or as some said.... need to ask myself if I really like them. Some predict that there's a higher chance I will go for Mr A... I disagree... Mr C is really very nice to me... if anyone is me, I'm sure they would also be touched....
Thanks for taking the time to read through my post and gave nice replies even though I'm nobody to you people... -
At this point of time, why are you choosing now?
Dun choose because you feel obligated to... -
she will choose neither A nor C
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Do what you feel like doing.
Dont choose just because he's nice to you.
But i think u should give A a chance so that u'll know him better and hence make a better decision.
but the most impt thing is..
follow your heart, not your mind.
cheers!
and all the best.