my dad keeps repeating himself
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he keeps repeating himself over and over again and doesnt stop till he gets the answer he wants.
first issue. thumbdrive.
i have a old thumbdrive and the casing for it has broken fall, leaving the circuit board itself. and since he wants 1 i offered to give it to him and he says he's looking for a casing ard the hse to replace it. when he come to my room i tell him there isnt a casing for him because i searched for a while before getting a new one(since i need the extra capacity) he finally leaves after repeated answers of "no dont have"
he comes back the next day and does the same thing and i asked did he search before ? his reply " i come back everyday until no become yes"
issue 2. fish tanks.
a few mths back we noticed someone dumped used fish tanks near the road side and he suggested i go get it but my knees were hurting and it was the same over the next few days. i even suggested we go together to minimize the trips.
he refused to. by the time i was ok, tanks were gone already. from that day onwards, he keeps scolding me every 2 days abt the tanks. esp when i discussed with him abt buying a 4ft tank(those at the roadside were 2ft max) for new fishes.
yesterday when i chanced upon a cheap deal where someone was selling 2 x2ft tanks at 5bucks each and so i shared with him. he again scolded me for the same thing " last time(mths ago liao still last time) got free 1 dun want to take, 5 dollars what for?"
then i asked him why till now still repeat ? for mths already. -
so dad is old .. so is mine .. sometimes really cannot tahan .. but still my dearest dad
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hahaahahar !! sorry... i find it rather funny coz ur dad really cute loh... sounds like little boy wan something but cant get it... wat bout ur mum?? she din say anything about this??
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she ah...either dun say or also repeat waht my father say.Originally posted by carpe diem jur:hahaahahar !! sorry... i find it rather funny coz ur dad really cute loh... sounds like little boy wan something but cant get it... wat bout ur mum?? she din say anything about this?? -
thats why i sometimes find it easiest not to tell them too much.
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Hi bismarck:
fr what u stated, ur dad stick to his pennies and dimes like superglue.
i would suggest u look at other positive things to share with ur dad. encourage him that what has passed has passed, he must learn to let go. holding to some memories of lost opportunities / luck/ etc will not bring back time.
say it in a nice way.. do not argue, not tat u r incapable, but b amicable abt it. -
I don't have a dad anymore
He pass away when I was 17. I missed him a lot. Count youself lucky. -
actually they jus naggy .. they r harmless .. for me i jus pretend to listen ..
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i've tried talking to him but anything other than putting myself down or agreeing whatever his recommendations are right and i am wrong isnt going to get in.Originally posted by Apollo_sg:Hi bismarck:
fr what u stated, ur dad stick to his pennies and dimes like superglue.
i would suggest u look at other positive things to share with ur dad. encourage him that what has passed has passed, he must learn to let go. holding to some memories of lost opportunities / luck/ etc will not bring back time.
say it in a nice way.. do not argue, not tat u r incapable, but b amicable abt it.
he doesnt have any dimes to stick to.
u know something? he even remembers littlest things from my childhood where my age is a single digit all the way till now. things he didnt do and till now he still thinks his present broker job is a right move ( yah..robbing the family to make others rich, he lost abt 200-300k in total already.)
always scold me for being stubborn. hello ? who's stubborn here ? -
ur dad maybe likes some stuff alot...or maybe he's getting old,or give back his "lightsaber" eh?
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dude, my dad nags more than my mum too. she-man dads
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my dad already 'graduated'. no chance to hear his voice again. really miss him.
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1st do not sneer on his lost. his lost will still b ur lost. ultimately if he passed away (hpefully not any soon), tat will still go to u n ur family.Originally posted by bismarck:i've tried talking to him but anything other than putting myself down or agreeing whatever his recommendations are right and i am wrong isnt going to get in.
he doesnt have any dimes to stick to.
u know something? he even remembers littlest things from my childhood where my age is a single digit all the way till now. things he didnt do and till now he still thinks his present broker job is a right move ( yah..robbing the family to make others rich, he lost abt 200-300k in total already.)
always scold me for being stubborn. hello ? who's stubborn here ?
what's ur mom/ family's member take on his behavior? it takes an impt step for him to come to terms that his baby child is no longer sucking milk fr the bottle. it is impt also tat he knows u may b an adolescent but can b responsible in ur action. and u can show tat in helping out in the house chores. every small action on ur part, and his part will make a better family.
eventually, u will grow to b an adult, and one who can bring home $$ and one he may hv to depend on his old age.
as a family, u hv to live their happiness n woes. n u learn to share that.
sometimes, pple hv the perception tat certain members of the family r out for blood. that is generally not true.
i hope u remind him to let the past rest. ask him what is the impt of bringing up the past when u were just crawling? let go the past so both of u can live for the future. -
at least ur parents don nag at u..Originally posted by bismarck:he keeps repeating himself over and over again and doesnt stop till he gets the answer he wants.
first issue. thumbdrive.
i have a old thumbdrive and the casing for it has broken fall, leaving the circuit board itself. and since he wants 1 i offered to give it to him and he says he's looking for a casing ard the hse to replace it. when he come to my room i tell him there isnt a casing for him because i searched for a while before getting a new one(since i need the extra capacity) he finally leaves after repeated answers of "no dont have"
he comes back the next day and does the same thing and i asked did he search before ? his reply " i come back everyday until no become yes"
issue 2. fish tanks.
a few mths back we noticed someone dumped used fish tanks near the road side and he suggested i go get it but my knees were hurting and it was the same over the next few days. i even suggested we go together to minimize the trips.
he refused to. by the time i was ok, tanks were gone already. from that day onwards, he keeps scolding me every 2 days abt the tanks. esp when i discussed with him abt buying a 4ft tank(those at the roadside were 2ft max) for new fishes.
yesterday when i chanced upon a cheap deal where someone was selling 2 x2ft tanks at 5bucks each and so i shared with him. he again scolded me for the same thing " last time(mths ago liao still last time) got free 1 dun want to take, 5 dollars what for?"
then i asked him why till now still repeat ? for mths already. -
lost ? u really 'lost' me .Originally posted by Apollo_sg:1st do not sneer on his lost. his lost will still b ur lost. ultimately if he passed away (hpefully not any soon), tat will still go to u n ur family.
what's ur mom/ family's member take on his behavior?
anyway, my sis feels the same just that she has her own life to escape to and she's just less vocal abt it.
probably does it on her blog.
my mum simply toils at work trying to pay off his debts.
she earns a respectable amount i tell u. yet her effective pay is barely 15%. the rest goes to buying for other ppl's cars, dining, homes , thanks to my dad -
Wow! Your mum really "thick and thin" with your dad. Repeats what he says and pays his debt. I respect her for that.
Well, have you tried the soft approach? If you tell your dad that his behaviour is making it difficult for you, I think although out front, he may appear macho and all but inside, it will sink it. He is after all, your dad and I like to believe all parents love their children.
Good luck with your little chat with him. But like all the above posts, just treasure the present. Keep peace and just bear with "lau ren jia". In one ear, out the other.
Cheers. -
i tried.Originally posted by littlestream:Wow! Your mum really "thick and thin" with your dad. Repeats what he says and pays his debt. I respect her for that.
Well, have you tried the soft approach? If you tell your dad that his behaviour is making it difficult for you, I think although out front, he may appear macho and all but inside, it will sink it. He is after all, your dad and I like to believe all parents love their children.
Good luck with your little chat with him. But like all the above posts, just treasure the present. Keep peace and just bear with "lau ren jia". In one ear, out the other.
Cheers.
it sinks in alright..but he continues to act macho... -
Hee hee.....I think my teenage son may say the same of my husband.Originally posted by bismarck:i tried.
it sinks in alright..but he continues to act macho...
My husband loves our son but he always has that macho front. I don't know if it's a dad's thing or what. So, has to rely on me (mothers) to play mediator lor.
The other way to look at stubborness is .......... persistence, which is a necessary trait to be successful, no?
For me reading your post, your dad sounds cute but obviously for you to be experiencing it, I am sure you will beg to differ. But stay positive. The most important thing is to believe your dad loves you and when you believe that, I think you can put up with all his idosyncracies. Because it will be your turn to be making up excuses to yourself about his behaviours. -
next time i get my mum to talk to u.Originally posted by littlestream:Hee hee.....I think my teenage son may say the same of my husband.
My husband loves our son but he always has that macho front. I don't know if it's a dad's thing or what. So, has to rely on me (mothers) to play mediator lor.
The other way to look at stubborness is .......... persistence, which is a necessary trait to be successful, no?
For me reading your post, your dad sounds cute but obviously for you to be experiencing it, I am sure you will beg to differ. But stay positive. The most important thing is to believe your dad loves you and when you believe that, I think you can put up with all his idosyncracies. Because it will be your turn to be making up excuses to yourself about his behaviours.
i feel both of u can relate to each other.
my mum is constantly between me and dad, me and sis, sis and dad, me and mum, mum with any of the above. -
Originally posted by bismarck:
hee hee....you are funny. Glad you still has that humour and didn't let what happened at home bother you.
next time i get my mum to talk to u.
i feel both of u can relate to each other.
[b]my mum is constantly between me and dad, me and sis, sis and dad, me and mum, mum with any of the above.[/b]
Aiyah, even we at the office also got this type of character or some even more outrageous type. Just bitch, bitch, bitch, then forget it lor. Right? LIfe goes on eh? Cheers.
So, what is your mum's nickname? Is she registered? But she may not enjoy it. I desperately tried to get my friends and sisters to visit the site but alas none shares my "passion". I like coming here because some of the threads are funny even cruel ones. It gives me a dose of chuckle and I do learn something from here. I like to stay young at heart so I can keep in sync with my son and also for my own well being.....in spirit and in mind. -
that's a sense of humour?Originally posted by littlestream:hee hee....you are funny. Glad you still has that humour and didn't let what happened at home bother you.
Aiyah, even we at the office also got this type of character or some even more outrageous type. Just bitch, bitch, bitch, then forget it lor. Right? LIfe goes on eh? Cheers.
So, what is your mum's nickname? Is she registered? But she may not enjoy it. I desperately tried to get my friends and sisters to visit the site but alas none shares my "passion". I like coming here because some of the threads are funny even cruel ones. It gives me a dose of chuckle and I do learn something from here. I like to stay young at heart so I can keep in sync with my son and also for my own well being.....in spirit and in mind.
interesting
no, she aint this net savvy
u are a very modern mother...
wish my parents are -
Ah....thank you for your kind words.
Well, I have left the rat race and has "stopped to smell the flowers". I take simple delight and stay contented with what I am and what I have. -
He is trying to teach you a lesson in life. If you have the opportunity to find something at that point, seize it. In the brokering business, theres many gains and losses; those that change lives for the better or destroy them overnight. It is a fickle business and you usually see most of those who amassed a big windfall to splurge them all away. In this kind of place, one sees that money's power is second to none. And many just hate the way that money, being an intangible, can wield such misery to humankind and by spending that money, it mitigates that misery as it brings perceived power back to the individual and perhaps also by spreading that misery to others in the hope that one is not alone and will feel better. So, this money-misery trap, lubricated by greed, goes on and on and the same principle applies for the IR/gambling in casinos debate where gamblers try to wage the money power struggle in the hope of finding answers all day. And about your folks being a broken record, every individual contemplates about where their goals in life are heading, what they have wanted to achieve, what were the things they did wrong, and whether they were realized or wasted dreams, people at different stages like those in mid-life are still fuzzy, unless you are some enlightened saint or on the death row. Whatever achievements must eventually be abated by self-contentment. For you, you look more towards hope and tomorrow. Logic applies naturally in your analysis of the world. For the older folks, they cannot do much more, illogics serve as a deveil's advocate, indeliberateness to buy time, and they can only use the past as a benchmark of things to come. Besides, it is also his ways of expressing fears and feelings about the dis-attachments that are a result of your growing up and losing you one day. So, there are always correlation in all these that we see in different people at different ages. The wierd idiosyncracies you find in many old couples quarreling or scolding each other everyday actually encourage and reinforce their togetherness to walk the remaining journey they themselves are uncertain about.
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How you know ur dad lost 200-300k in total? He told you ah?Originally posted by bismarck:i've tried talking to him but anything other than putting myself down or agreeing whatever his recommendations are right and i am wrong isnt going to get in.
he doesnt have any dimes to stick to.
u know something? he even remembers littlest things from my childhood where my age is a single digit all the way till now. things he didnt do and till now he still thinks his present broker job is a right move ( yah..robbing the family to make others rich, he lost abt 200-300k in total already.)
always scold me for being stubborn. hello ? who's stubborn here ? -
next time he does that, you start crying like a girl.