my mother has cancer...
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she is suffering ....
i feel confused about this and worried.
does anyone has any advices. -
stay close with her....hope for the best....
my mum had cancer soon after i was born and suffered for 13 years b4 passing away...
the best way to go thru this phase is staying close with her...spend as much time with her...make everyday as special as u can... -
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Go see a specialist now. The one in Mt.E quite good.
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spend as much time with her as possible. make her happy and distract her from cancer..Originally posted by january:she is suffering ....
i feel confused about this and worried.
does anyone has any advices. -
spend more time with her. that is all you can do. the rest is up to the doctor and her resistance.
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what cancer?
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So sorry to read about it. Stay positive. There are many cancer survivors out there; depending on the stage and type (I have relatives and friends who are survivors). You may wish to pray for recovery and my well wishes to your mum.
For now, I think your mum needs strong emotional support too. Help her to stay positive and like the other posts, spend more time with her.
Take care and be strong. All the very best.
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had a sibling who also had cancer, still undergoing treatment in fact.
initial response is of denial/disbelief. even though the patient may show outward signs of acceptance, one may not have completely accepted the fact. as did the counsellor mentioned, "your head may have accepted the fact, but not your heart." i think this is important to take note. dont assume that the patient has accepted the condition.
personally, the most important thing is for you and your siblings to be on a positive note. it doesnt help if the general mood in the home is downbeat.
be present when your mom goes for an appointment. ask the doctor what treatment is to be expected. things to watch out for, to expect during treatment. in fact, ask anything that you want to ask. search for information on the internet if need be. ask what are clinical trials. why did the doctor choose treatment A instead of B. etc
talk about it to close friends. it may be okay initially. however some treatment go on for months. it woudnt be easy nor advisable to carry that around for prolonged periods. it usually feels better after you talked about it to someone you trust.
bills will be an issue. it is not going to be pretty. for public hospitals, if possible transfer down to ward C. a CT scan costs about 1k, after subsidy, medi shield, etc one pays about 90.
i dont see how having a specialist would help. there are only so many treatment methods available, some on clinial trial basis and more expensive. ultimately it is how one's body responds to the treatment that is important.
some posters mentioned distracting her from the cancer. the fact is that it wouldnt be easy. it is unlikely that you can distract her from her having cancer, especially during treatment. perhaps i would put it differently, treat it just like any other day. what you could do is to lighten the mood. laughter is effective. talk about your day at school/work. talk about a scene on tv. you dont even need to talk to her, talk among yourselves. whatever.
throughout my brother was in a generally upbeat mood. so i have no prior experience with patients that are in denial for long periods or in low moods.
realise that most of the work you do would be acting as the crutch, the patient has to do most of the walking. -
Hi January,
I can't contribute anything helpful here because other posters before me already have.
So I'm just here to say I'm so sorry to hear of your problem....and I guess there is a way and time for all things living.
Remain strong.... -
I'm sorry to know this...
Is she in the intial stage now?
Juz spend more time with her..cancer patients suffer a lot of pains tho they might not utter a word. Try to make her happy.. -
Sorry to know abt this.
You got to be strong and give your mum all the support needed. Got to be strong. -
Yes, spend all the time you can and make her happy.Originally posted by jonathan_n80:spend as much time with her as possible. make her happy and distract her from cancer..
My mother also passed away from lung cancer in 2002, one and a half years after she was diagnosed. Dun know how she got lung cancer. Once detected, it was already final stage of cancer.
Spend as much time as possible. I tried and I was very sad that I felt the time I spent was still not enough. I only managed to get ROM soon. I still regret till today I did not make her a grandmother before she passed away. It is really regret for life which I cannot recover. She gave all that she had for me and I only gave so little.
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http://www.lighthouse.org.sg/
or more specifically:
http://www.lighthouse.org.sg/TEST/TEST/CANC-LIV.HTM -
Oh well.. all is not lost.. Be by her side.. be ur mum's pillar of support as she fights.. She'll pull thru.. u have my blessings..
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Miracle Service?Originally posted by Uncle_MooMoo:http://www.lighthouse.org.sg/
or more specifically:
http://www.lighthouse.org.sg/TEST/TEST/CANC-LIV.HTM
You want her to bring her mom there? -
Best to go to National Cancer Centre at Outram. The doc will advise on the best treatment.
If she is undergoing chemo therapy, she may drop hair & lose appetite.
Try and feed her nourishing tonic soup/ chicken essense, be patient when dealing with her mood changes, rent her VCD/DVD to watch/ books to read to keep her mind occupied. -
Dear January,
1st of all, I'd like to give you a big hug --> *hugs January tight*
This must be a horrible thing to endure, the knowledge of someone so close having cancer. However, please note that cancer doesn't necessarily mean a death sentence. There have been cases whereby, with early detection, the cancer patient went into remission & lived a reasonably long & healthy life.
There's this lady I know, who lives in Hawaii. Her body is full of tumours & cancers, but oddly, she's lived with these cancers & tumours in her body for > 20 years! Yes, she's in pain, but she's Not undergoing chemo, she just takes medication. I dunno what she's been doing right to ensure her long life.
Most importantly, your mum would be devastated & frightened. Cancer seems to carry a death sentence here. Speak to your mum & reassure her fears. Look for articles in which former cancer sufferers still managed to fight & live. Olivia Newton John survived breast cancer, & she's lived for > 10 years already since her cancer went into remission.
FeowFeowOriginally posted by january:she is suffering ....
i feel confused about this and worried.
does anyone has any advices. -
Calm down... Worried is the last thing which would help you much in this case...Originally posted by january:she is suffering ....
i feel confused about this and worried.
does anyone has any advices. -
Can I know what kind and which stage?Originally posted by january:she is suffering ....
i feel confused about this and worried.
does anyone has any advices.
It will be a tense phrase for both patients and their family.
However, you have to be strong to give her your support.
I know your concern and you are still trying to figure out whys and hows.
At the same time, u need to take care of yourself too.
Let me give u a hug, give your mum too. -
i'm sorry to hear this.
B strong n come talk to us whenever u need .. -
dun worry to much... has the doc advise what stage is the illness? most cancer can b cured at early stages.Originally posted by january:she is suffering ....
i feel confused about this and worried.
does anyone has any advices.
there r support groups such as AWARE which helps cancer patient. if u hv financial problem, do let the doc know and they will arrange for the Official fr MCD to assist u. -
yah? Or she can go stand in proxy alsoOriginally posted by M©+square:Miracle Service?
You want her to bring her mom there?