My story
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7 months ago, I found the love and happiness of my life. I met her. She was such a nice person always so loving and caring. We got together just after 1 month and after 1 meeting. First 2 months were honeymoon and it was so wonderful. But as time passes, she started to display all her bad points which were so terrible that i didnt know what to do. I did treat her with all my heart and love her but there were so many times when she make me so frustrated.
Then came that very very unfortunate day, I admit that my temper wasnt very good and I like to settle things very fast (especially relationship problems). She got very unhappy and refuse to talk to me. I tried to ask whats wrong but she simply dont want to talk. Out of frustration, I grab her tightly. She slap me then I did something which I never should - I hit her back!!!
I really regret what I did. Really.
I lost control that day and my frustration got over me. I really wanted so much to spend the rest of my life with her. Now everything is over cos I did the ultimate unforgiveable things!
Now my life is in a big mess and i seems to be living for nothing. I hate what i did but i cannot change the fact that i did it. I really want to be with her but after what i done, i really dont think that is possible anymore.
I have very few friends, thats why i pour out my feelings here.
1 remorseful guy,
Whom dont have 2 chances. -
Haiz , never use violence against a girl.
No matter how angry/bad mood i am...at most just ignore or purposely leave her alone for a while and let her say sorry to you..for slapping you...
slapping her just makes you be in the wrong.. -
Take care , you really gotta move on...out of so many relationships ending , this 1 DEFINITELY very hard to salvage or impossible.
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Seriously , you can stop thinking about her already...
JUST DON'T repeat your mistake.
If you repeat it...Anyway, don't let any girl your courting know...
UNLESS , they ask. -
OMG.. u shouldnt.. haiz.. too late.. try to beg for forgiveness.. plead.. whatever.. if this girl really means so much to u.. pray hard.. real hard..
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I am really sincere in my love for her. But seems like sincerity do no help at all. No matter how i feel for her, i also wont be given another chance. I really regret it.
People always say true love will overcome all obstacles but does it really do? My love is true but just because of 1 mistake, everything is gone. I know that the fact that I hit her already show that I dont really love her - How can I claim that I love her when I can bear to hit her. But people do make mistakes and I really love her even thought I hit her. It have been a frustating and terrible period for me even since this incident.
I really dont know what I can do now. I havent been sleeping and eating properly even since it happened. I also know that I will never meet someone who touches my heart in the way that she did. I really hope that a miracle will happen to save the day but I know it only does in Drama Serials and Movies. I am still very much hoping that I will be granted a miracle. Nothing can describe my love for her. Really.
It always so that one only learn to treasure somebody or something before the final moments of departure. Learn from me people, put in few minutes to treasure the loved ones around you before you realise it too late.
Thanks for the replies that came in, I really appreciate them whether its good or bad cos at least there are still kind strangers out there who are willing to spend a little bit of time writing something. -
it really depends on her pattern of relationships she had in the past.
I suspect you're being carried on her pace till she's tired of you.
Hitting or non hitting is no longer the point.
Because during the relationship, there wasn't proper respect towards you, it speaks alot of things. IMO, her attitude towards relationship is not what you want.
Cheers -
there is a need to know each other better before committing to a relationship, 1 month and 1 meeting is way too short. Say, you know her better as a friend, and vice-versa, maybe the relationship wouldn't even have started, thus saving all the pain and sorrow you are feeling now. take this as a lesson learnt.
another point is your temper. you must learn to control it and eradicate this sting totally. it will not only affect future relations but at work as well. in a sense, you are potentially a wife beater. -
Hi under-construction....
I can identify with your character because I was like that before - very hot-tempered and when my blood boiled, my mind just went blank and I threw away all worries and thoughts.....and I just couldn't control myself and just whacked whoever was irritating me (but I never really hit a girl before).
Anyway, from your description, I think the relationship is over. Take it as a hard lesson and learn to mellow down. Then start afresh again....
Time is on your side because people get mellow with age too....in another 5-10 years' time, you will find it easier to control yourself. -
Errr....just from a female perspective or at least mine, if a guy were to do this to me, it is over. Nothing, I repeat, nothing will ever make me change my mind.
I don't know if your lady friend will give you another chance, but if she does, please do not do it again. If she doesn't, I guess you have to move on and with this costly lesson, learn from it and refrain from this action in your future relationship(s).
Good luck. -
There is no right or wrong. It just shows that both of u can't stand each other. It's better to move on while it's still early. The longer it drags, the harder it is to give up.
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How is she doing now?Originally posted by Under-construction:I am really sincere in my love for her. But seems like sincerity do no help at all. No matter how i feel for her, i also wont be given another chance. I really regret it.
People always say true love will overcome all obstacles but does it really do? My love is true but just because of 1 mistake, everything is gone. I know that the fact that I hit her already show that I dont really love her - How can I claim that I love her when I can bear to hit her. But people do make mistakes and I really love her even thought I hit her. It have been a frustating and terrible period for me even since this incident.
I really dont know what I can do now. I havent been sleeping and eating properly even since it happened. I also know that I will never meet someone who touches my heart in the way that she did. I really hope that a miracle will happen to save the day but I know it only does in Drama Serials and Movies. I am still very much hoping that I will be granted a miracle. Nothing can describe my love for her. Really.
It always so that one only learn to treasure somebody or something before the final moments of departure. Learn from me people, put in few minutes to treasure the loved ones around you before you realise it too late.
Thanks for the replies that came in, I really appreciate them whether its good or bad cos at least there are still kind strangers out there who are willing to spend a little bit of time writing something.
Go look for her and apologise? That's the least you can do for now...?
The rest is really up to her....? -
still Dating and u slap her liao.. what will u doing when u two get marry later...if u really want to salvage the relationship..guess the only way is to beg for her forgiveness..and try and do something that really will touch her..Originally posted by Under-construction:I am really sincere in my love for her. But seems like sincerity do no help at all. No matter how i feel for her, i also wont be given another chance. I really regret it.
People always say true love will overcome all obstacles but does it really do? My love is true but just because of 1 mistake, everything is gone. I know that the fact that I hit her already show that I dont really love her - How can I claim that I love her when I can bear to hit her. But people do make mistakes and I really love her even thought I hit her. It have been a frustating and terrible period for me even since this incident.
I really dont know what I can do now. I havent been sleeping and eating properly even since it happened. I also know that I will never meet someone who touches my heart in the way that she did. I really hope that a miracle will happen to save the day but I know it only does in Drama Serials and Movies. I am still very much hoping that I will be granted a miracle. Nothing can describe my love for her. Really.
It always so that one only learn to treasure somebody or something before the final moments of departure. Learn from me people, put in few minutes to treasure the loved ones around you before you realise it too late.
Thanks for the replies that came in, I really appreciate them whether its good or bad cos at least there are still kind strangers out there who are willing to spend a little bit of time writing something. -
Really nth.. can change your mind meh ? if the guy really very regerted about that ?Originally posted by littlestream:Errr....just from a female perspective or at least mine, if a guy were to do this to me, it is over. Nothing, I repeat, nothing will ever make me change my mind.
I don't know if your lady friend will give you another chance, but if she does, please do not do it again. If she doesn't, I guess you have to move on and with this costly lesson, learn from it and refrain from this action in your future relationship(s).
Good luck. -
hi mr desperate.Originally posted by Under-construction:7 months ago, I found the love and happiness of my life. I met her. She was such a nice person always so loving and caring. We got together just after 1 month and after 1 meeting. First 2 months were honeymoon and it was so wonderful. But as time passes, she started to display all her bad points which were so terrible that i didnt know what to do. I did treat her with all my heart and love her but there were so many times when she make me so frustrated.
Then came that very very unfortunate day, I admit that my temper wasnt very good and I like to settle things very fast (especially relationship problems). She got very unhappy and refuse to talk to me. I tried to ask whats wrong but she simply dont want to talk. Out of frustration, I grab her tightly. She slap me then I did something which I never should - I hit her back!!!
I really regret what I did. Really.
I lost control that day and my frustration got over me. I really wanted so much to spend the rest of my life with her. Now everything is over cos I did the ultimate unforgiveable things!
Now my life is in a big mess and i seems to be living for nothing. I hate what i did but i cannot change the fact that i did it. I really want to be with her but after what i done, i really dont think that is possible anymore.
I have very few friends, thats why i pour out my feelings here.
1 remorseful guy,
Whom dont have 2 chances.
understand 1 thing, no 1 is perfect. u hv just cross the reality checkpoint where the other person wann live her life the way she think she is. she is not succrumbing to "darling be good, cos ur' angel in my eyes,"
how impt is a person's weakness? anyhow. since this is already several months gone. move on with ur life and fall in love quikly. but do not b too quick to judge the new love again.
it is impt u change urself not becos of 1 ger but for the better of urself. b tolerant. the fact u could not hv dealt nicely in a r/s is becos u hv no experience in such.
i would say, try to mingle more. do not target gers. just treat them as ordinary frenz, regardless of looks or boobs.
eventually, u will get there. -
Originally posted by Under-construction:7 months ago, I found the love and happiness of my life. I met her. She was such a nice person always so loving and caring. We got together just after 1 month and after 1 meeting. First 2 months were honeymoon and it was so wonderful. But as time passes, she started to display all her bad points which were so terrible that i didnt know what to do. I did treat her with all my heart and love her but there were so many times when she make me so frustrated.
Then came that very very unfortunate day, I admit that my temper wasnt very good and I like to settle things very fast (especially relationship problems). She got very unhappy and refuse to talk to me. I tried to ask whats wrong but she simply dont want to talk. Out of frustration, I grab her tightly. She slap me then I did something which I never should - I hit her back!!!
I really regret what I did. Really.
I lost control that day and my frustration got over me. I really wanted so much to spend the rest of my life with her. Now everything is over cos I did the ultimate unforgiveable things!
Now my life is in a big mess and i seems to be living for nothing. I hate what i did but i cannot change the fact that i did it. I really want to be with her but after what i done, i really dont think that is possible anymore.
I have very few friends, thats why i pour out my feelings here.
1 remorseful guy,
Whom dont have 2 chances.
You began your relationship rather hastily; just after a month and within one date and bloom - the relationship is born. It could be true for your intense feelings for her; the passion and everything else, but to be frank, it may not be quite equal on the other side.
Merely two months into the reality of Love and you see cracks of individual personality. I would tell you it's a perfectly natural process; what matters is how you handle your relationship after the sweet honeymoon has passed and not what's sweet and loving in the beginning. It's pretty sad to realise that you hit her over some minor dispute; you ought to realise that EVEN if she is your wife, there are no reasons justifiable for such reaction.
The violence indicates not the lack of love - rather the helpless agony of a man who fell before the cruel reality of his own relationship. Love cannot be subdue (via Mars), it can only be tamed (via Venus). To ignore the usage of proper communication as a matured couple will serve to fail your own relationship even if problems are minor and insignificiant like your thingy.
This Love is young; she probably still have the ability to escape the clutches of the relationship without much emotional issues. From your post, your had probably lost this love... already. The only consolation is that, if you learn this the hard way, make sure this lessons stays with you for life. To dump away what you have gain, is as good as sacrificing future relationship with history repeats.
P.S: Actually, you have your second chance; that's your next relationship - my promise to you.
Cheers -
Things always get better with change...keep your head up!
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DUN slap a gal ..no matter wht....
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To Deportivo, gentlerock, littlestream:
About the potentially wife beater, I agree with you cos if it can happen once it may happen again. But I learn alot from this lesson. The pain of losing my beloved is so much more difficult to bear than the pain of enduring my temper and frustration. So my perstective have changed and I will never never use violent anymore. Things are often easier said than done but I definately will try hard. Thanks for advice.
To timble:
Although more than often right and wrong is hard to differentiate. but in this case I am definately wrong even though she slap me first. I am a guy and so show some gentleman-ism when dealing with girls (so much more her)
To Devil1976, zheshi:
I already apologise to her so many times until I lost count but think haven gotten forgiveness from her. So many times she ended our conversation with a "ok we still an item" Then after she put down the phone, she will send msg saying negative things and uncertainty about the relationship. This is making me confused and frustrated - the thought of losing her forever is slowing draining my soul away. I really dont know what I can do anymore to get her love back.
To Apollo_sg, Yunhaier:
Although its true that I started too fast but this type of thing is really beyond our control. Imagine meeting someone whom you like almost immediately and willing to spend the rest of the life together. And she have exact the same thinking. How would one be able to say oh wait for a while before getting together. There are poeple who will be able to but unfortunately the 2 of us werent from this category.
"The violence indicates not the lack of love - rather the helpless agony of a man who fell before the cruel reality of his own relationship." - this clearly explain my behaviour that night. (Golden words)
Thanks for the concern regardless of whether they are real or fake.
I am not trying to defend myself but i feel that repling to each of you helps to brighten up my lousy period a bit. As I have few friends, I can only pour things out here so as not to hide everything inside my heart.
I really hope to have another chance as all I bring along with me now into this relationship is much more love, sincerity and tolerance. -
Hi again under-construction....
Woah, I didn't imply wife beater at all....please don't be mistaken. I think wife-beaters are of a different category altogether. Just because you slapped a girl once doesn't make you a potential compulsive wife-beater...no no no....definitely not!
Look at it this way. We've all been in scuffles and have lied before. But that doesn't make us compulsive troublemakers or liars. Sometimes things just happen on impulse, under certain circumstances. No, no....please don't even start to think that you'd be a wife beater.
We all have done things we've regretted anyway....who hasn't? This case is just one of yours, which you've regretted.
Anyway, its was nice to hear from you again after you had read our replies. And your reply carried a calm tone too!
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Too bad it happened but take it as a lesson never to be repeated again.
Bro, start eating and go get some rest. Time will heal the pain of losing.
Yes, and keep yr heads up(both head).
May THE FORCE be with u........ -
The crack is already there.. What to do next is really up to youOriginally posted by Under-construction:I am not trying to defend myself but i feel that repling to each of you helps to brighten up my lousy period a bit. As I have few friends, I can only pour things out here so as not to hide everything inside my heart.
I really hope to have another chance as all I bring along with me now into this relationship is much more love, sincerity and tolerance.