My Fault????
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I loves my girlfriend very much.
We been together for almost 3 years.
We are stayin together with my daugther And my family.
She was with me when i divovced my wife.
She stood by me, during i down.
We went through a lot Together.
I was A bastard... ...
I wasn't caring about her.
But I changed. Last Year.
I lost My job.
She help me and supported Me.
I changed my temper, stop swearing, pampered her more.
Just recently, we quarrel again.....
Very Sian..
I found out that She been firlting with her male colleague.
When She was sick.
She sms that guy, wishing she was with his side.
I confront her.
She denied.
She say just friend.
I forgive her, and try to forget it.
A few day, later Found Out she still contact him.
I call the bastard and fcuk him.
She quarrel with her agian over this bxxx.
She wanted to move back to her house.
I told her to rest in my house cos there is no one to take of her when she move back.
She said i always threaten her.Which i din.
We talk and settle the problems.
She moved... The next few days....
I went her house, Cook for her and Bath her.
I wanted to pay her what i think i owe her.
I wanted To show her, i loves her.
That i what i do last time.
she say She want more space.
Ask me dun question her.
I give in.
She went oversea, now.
I dun know who she went with??
I need to take some stocks to sell.
Cos my customer called.
Her mum Give me a face....
Saying i can't go her house.
I dun steal, even now i m broke.
I was a bad guy.
But, Changed man now.
My Business have failed.
Owe her a few k.
Her mum now, chasing me to pay her back...Sian
Why ?? People are like that.
I told her,i pay her back.
I m looking for jobs..Everyday.
Please give me Sometime.
I need to breathe too.
Anyone, Out there Willing to help Me.???
She isn't very pretty.
I feel that she went thro alot with me.
That make me feel guilty.
I loves her alot.
Dun want to lose her.
I m Not writing a story.
It is my life.
Any advices??
Thank anyway.
I just wanted express my feeling. -
her heart has changed and is not yours anymore...
time to walk away...
repay the debt.. and walk away..
be well yah?
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She Say I dun trust her???
She went through so many with me.
Maybe it my fault.
I lost confindent in myself??
I m trying my best to look for jobs.
I may goes mad like this...... -
she went through a lot with you..
you went through a lot with her...
but then... from what you say, it would seem she has lost faith in you...
she was unfaithful?
and why are you "a bad guy"? were you unfaithful to her?
mostly, if you cannot bring yourself to trust her, and she does not trust you, what is left?
figure out and fix yourself first.. and most of all, move on... -
I went in prison before.
I did bad things during young times.
That was passed.
I never Hit her Or hurt Her.
Just wanted to live with her.
There maybe too ppl telling her, i wasn't suitable for her.
Age apart. 10 Years. (23.33.)
I dun look old.
Like 25 years old.
She look older.
I used to Have many girl friends.
But stop when we going together.
Just on-line gf.
Stop for 2 years.
She started Frientier last years.
She write she is single.
I was sad when i saw that.
I search 3 days.for her profiles.
I dun want to disturb her life.
She have her freedom.
Maybe my fault. . -
well, i'm confused..
online girlfriend?
well, get a grip, move on.. find someone in real life yah? -
Used to have Afew on line gf.
Never met them.
My gf is real.
She just move back. -
you're not married so she's still single...
but then, if you really love her, go win her heart back... good luck!
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thank Bro.
I will try my best to win her back. -
seems like you already want to do that.. now go do it
again, good luck!Originally posted by whydunknow:thank Bro.
I will try my best to win her back. -
You can either choose to go mad or pick up your life slowly...?Originally posted by whydunknow:She Say I dun trust her???
She went through so many with me.
Maybe it my fault.
I lost confindent in myself??
I m trying my best to look for jobs.
I may goes mad like this...... -
I will slowly pick my life.
I know it is hard.
It take time to heal. -
Seen what u had written and you had my sympathy¡K Love¡K.. u must have wonder why is it always so painful when a romance goes wrong?? I myself also wonder at that question so much that it sometimes drive me craze¡K..I had often seen great sacrifice that people had made in name of love. They will die for the loves one even they either rejected or accepted. I understand the phases that u are going through. It can be one of the worse experiences that a human being can go, for us humans are soft-wired to suffer terribly when we are rejected by someone we adore and it is for a good evolutionary reason. Romantic love is as powerful as hunger and it is no wonder people around the world will live and die for love. It can be used partly to explain for the human ability to sacrifice in times of great stress and needs for a love one
Enough of the sympathy words and to get to the logical part of all these ¡K. Please try to understand the logical despite the difficulty in understanding and accepting the facts when all those emotions are over taking your logical thinking.
Anyway u are asking for advise and this is my advice. ƒº Btw u aren¡¦t a bad guy and if u are one, u in the first will not ever ask us for advises and do the unthinkable things to get her back. Even u think you did some nasty stuffs to her. Please remember no one is PERFECT!! Everyone had their flaws and your flaws define who you are and your principle of life and being yourself. I myself did much stuff which I am not proud of but I do regret and try to improve myself. That is the most important way to go around. Dun blame but improve. Stop blaming yourself is the first thing for the fall out.
As I can read.. u still love her and that¡¦s natural but I hope you can think more carefully about your future plans in going around this relationship.
The problem now which I can see (please note this is what I understand and it can be wrong) is that you facing a probability of a good relationship being broken up where u do not want her to go cos u love her.
Next I want you to I want to evaluate the situation¡K.. what are actually the true reasons for the probability of breaking up?? The various reasons which I am speculating from my read¡K is like a third party, lost interest of relationship or maybe not spending enough time understanding her¡KPlease note I am speculating .. but I want u to really think what is actually going on. By understanding what is causing the problem is important. Think cause and effect. If possible sit down and have a serious conservation with her and understand what is wrong. Women always complain we men do not listen lol¡Kmaybe and try to work with the relationship. Once u know the problems and the reasons for the problems, next think of solutions.
Thinking of solutions to resolve those problems. I believe if the problem is about not spending or understanding her good enough, you should be wise enough to go about solving it. U know buy her roses, spending more time, trust her more, etc. But if it is concerning, and I apologise being rash about the realities of life, third parties or the fact she do not love you anymore¡K the solutions to solve will take u deeper and harder.
Here are the list of my solutions for those scenarios .. and if u had more that is better¡K I am quite a narrow minded person so my views might not suit your views. But anyway here are they;
1) Dump her
2) Try to woo and reconcile with her again
After thinking of all the solutions, next is to think about them. This is the hardest part¡K I want you to contemplate about all these things which we had mention. Find a quiet place and think¡K. I want you to think about on how to go about these choices. It may take you days to months but so be it.
Here are some insights of mine of choosing the 2 options mention above. My insight can be ignorant but again I hope other will set in their insights.
For the first option, love is supposed to be an unconditional and mutual understanding bond. Even you love her and she do not love her, the whole relationship is pointless. It takes two to tango u know¡K. Instead u can be unknowingly adding her stress and frustration which can be harming her by continuing the relationship. To a certain extent, you are making yourself to suffer a lot due to the desire of affection which cannot be obtained.
As Lord Buddha said, attachment is the cause of all suffering.
When we like, we hope, once we hope, we desire and once we desire, we attached and with attachment we suffered. By dumping her, you will release part of your suffering. Even the great Musashiden, a Ronin in ancient Japan, did mention "Life only starts when one is able to relinquish all attachments." ( my interpretation of what he mean is leaving the path of moral desires and needs) The path to dump her is best if she love you no more. The ethic of love is never let the love one suffer. If she is suffering due to you, you must leave her for her to be free from her suffering. Most importantly if u love her u must ensure she is happy. If your presence is not doing so, leave her. That is the ethics of love. Please note that ALL of us who are rejected will first protest the departure and try to win back the beloved, and later to give up utter, dust ourselves off and redirect our energy to fall in love again. U are not alone
For two, it is basically to continue to do what u had being doing for her and hoping that you can win her over. As Hobbes said, there are thing in life we must do to get the thing we want. We are self regarding creatures and sometimes by being self interest (the virtue of selfish) we can obtain happiness. By continuing courtship and strong resolution to get what we desire, may allows us to obtain the objects of what we desire, which is her love. By determination and enduring the hardships, we can obtained things which we desire. As Cao Cao once said, ¡§I rather fail the world than let the world failed me.¡¨ So what you failed the world but at least u had obtained your happiness. Remember this, the world owes you nothing and its fate is not your concern. If u live up to the world expectation do they care?? No I do not think so¡K as Hobbes said we are just self interest creatures. We only live one time in our life time and we do not want to live this life full of regrets.
These are some insights but the choices are yours. The most important point is taking the choices that are in line of your belief and principle. If u take some path and going against your principle, u are just betraying yourself. But most importantly, I believe right now is to talk her and understand what actually the situation is. After that think of the paths aviable and made final decsion. Dun be like a hare ensnared in a net where it runs in rounds and rounds, thus prolonging its sufferrings.
From what I read, there are lots of factors also affecting this relationship such as age, etc which I personally think might impose a problem but again I am in no position to say so. But I hope my advise and method to go about will help you. Once u choose the path u must find the equilibrium path where u balance your belief and the way to solve your problem. Good luck!!!
Cheers -
Share this story with you.Originally posted by whydunknow:I will slowly pick my life.
I know it is hard.
It take time to heal. There was a scholar who was to marry his fianc¨¦e, but on the day of marriage, his fianc¨¦e changed her mind and married someone else.
Sometimes in life...we gain and we lose but how much we have in life is not measured by how much we lose and gain but how much have you learn in the process.
The scholar was devastated and fell ill. His family seek all kinds of medical treatment for him, but still he showed no sign of recovery. They were about to give up hope on him when a wandering monk passed by. After learning about the scholar's condition, the monk walked to the scholar's bed and took out a mirror for the dying man to see.
In the mirror, the scholar saw a vast ocean, and the naked body of a murdered woman lay on the beach. A man passed by, looked at the body, shook his head and left. Another man who passed by saw the body, took off his robes to cover the body and left. Finally came a man passing by who saw the body, dug a hole and laid the body carefully to rest before burying it.
The scene in the mirror suddenly changed. The scholar saw his fianc¨¦e in a nuptial chamber and another man was lifting her wedding veil...
The scholar blinked at the monk, confused.
Slowly the monk explained, "The woman whose body you saw on the beach was your fianc¨¦e in her previous life. In your previous life, you were the second man who gave her his robes to cover her body. To repay your kindness in this lifetime, she loved you for a period of time and became your fianc¨¦e. However, ultimately the man whose favor she has to return for the rest of her life is the third man who buried her. And that man is now her husband."
Enlightened, the scholar sat up and recovered from his depression.
She love you...stands by you when you are at your most down. Now she choose to leave might not because you were bad to her before but probably just that her duty to you in this life is over and it's time for her to start a new journey and for you to start a new life.
Ask yourself this...you admit that you were bad before..but you already learn your lesson in life and decide to start a new one? It won't be an easy path but it's not unachieveable. At the end of the road before you can finally tell yourself you have pulled through, you'll probably start to understand why fate decide to let her leave you. -
I know what's happen....
just hoping to patch back.
I want to love somebody, which i used to her.
Missed Her A lot.
How i wish I can turn back the clock.
I will try my best. Carrying on my life.
Why???
I m Crying in my heart. Sigh....................................
She is not very pretty, but used to have a good heart.
Now, all changed.
Now She Always avoid me.
She just came back fr. tour.
And doesn't call me.
I m sad.
Only using the forum to express how i feel.
She wanted to cool things down...............
I only want to know if she is fine, that all i wanted.
Hope that she is back today.
Maybe, that is controling some one???
How to communicate to her??/
I m looking for jobs everyday.
Maybe, I will be better if I found a job. -
tell you what...
go find a job.. and put your effort into work for a while..
time will heal or at least make it less painful...
and hey... most importantly, become a better man yah?
if not for her, then for yourself..
be well... -
Thank dude.
I trying everyday.... Very hard.
I even Beg for job, now.
Some times, They give me too excuses.
Well, time are bad.
I will try even more harder.
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yah.. times are tough now... but hey, with perserverence, you will get a chance.. and when you do, make sure you make the most of it yah?
we can only try the best we can..Originally posted by whydunknow:Thank dude.
I trying everyday.... Very hard.
I even Beg for job, now.
Some times, They give me too excuses.
Well, time are bad.
I will try even more harder. -
Originally posted by laosu:
Allow me to add the moral of the story from the original source:
Share this story with you.
It is truly amazing -- this thing called "Fate". There was a movie in which the theme song went like this: "You can say it is a big world, you can say it is a small world. But for the promise of this lifetime, we shall spend our entire lives to fulfill."
All of us are in this big grand masquerade, among the throng of people, we seek expectantly... in that electrifying moment when our fingers touch, the masks are removed to reveal our true selves.
Before this moment, we were drifting aimlessly, not knowing what we really wanted. Till you meet this particular person, you finally realize what you really want is not what you have wished for in the first place. It amazes you that standing in front of this person is a different you! You without any mask!
Fate is not something meant to be forced upon. What is yours will eventually come to your arms; what is not yours will never come to be. In any case, we should not lose heart and give up on our hopes for love that is true, good and beautiful.
The value of life, in a certain sense, is determined by the maturity of how we love. Of how we give and accept love. -
puzzled about this so just asking no real point to make. in this story the girl repay him for his shirt. however by teasing(promising to marry him but leave him on the very day of wedding) him she makes him more miserable so is she taking revenge because he only covered her and the clothes was or can be blown off?Originally posted by laosu:Sometimes in life...we gain and we lose but how much we have in life is not measured by how much we lose and gain but how much have you learn in the process.
She love you...stands by you when you are at your most down. Now she choose to leave might not because you were bad to her before but probably just that her duty to you in this life is over and it's time for her to start a new journey and for you to start a new life.
Ask yourself this...you admit that you were bad before..but you already learn your lesson in life and decide to start a new one? It won't be an easy path but it's not unachieveable. At the end of the road before you can finally tell yourself you have pulled through, you'll probably start to understand why fate decide to let her leave you. -
Despite all the myth about reincarnation, god and saints and blah blah blah, we are just humans. She was reborn as a normal human back on earth to serve her another probably 80yrs sentence here. And meanwhile, back to repay whoever had help her before in her previous life.Originally posted by hisoka:puzzled about this so just asking no real point to make. in this story the girl repay him for his shirt. however by teasing(promising to marry him but leave him on the very day of wedding) him she makes him more miserable so is she taking revenge because he only covered her and the clothes was or can be blown off?
And for whatever the guy had helped her in the previous life, she had already repayed everything in due and just untimely that she's not fated to be the wife of the man cause she got another person waiting for her in this life to repay to and in this case is the husband, the one who buried her in the previous life.
Many people in our life come and go. It's all part of the repayment from previous deeds. Some enter your life to repay you for whatever he/she owes you.
See it this way, at least she left him before the marriage and not go through the marriage and then divorce. It'll be worse right? Sometimes when you try to look at matters in another angle, you'll see different lights. -
I meet Her today.
I have wonderful times with her.
I went shopping together. Eat dinner.
Send her back home.
We sit at her blk, chatted.
About her trip.And Before going home.
I told her, these..........
I said:
Dear, today is a wonderful day.
I really loves you and she mean a lot too.
I looking for jobs, everyday.
Not lazying around.
And I also told her, I write in this Forum.
I m Stressed.
What I wanted Is a happy family.
I m not afriad to admit my mistakes.
Just hoping to win her back.
She just sit there quietly.
I really hope She Come & see these.
This is the best, I tried.
If, This fail.............................
MAybe I din try my Very Best.
Just Hope EveryOne Wish Me, Good Luck. -
Please Dear, Just Give Me A Chance.
I M Willing make happy, not sad.
If You are Happy, I m Happy.
If You are Sad, I m even more Sad.
All I want is to Make You HAppy.
I m Writing in Forum Because I really want to change.
So many ppl, there to witness This.
Hope that You Believed Me.
Thank. -
I'm touched by your sincerity.
Best of luck and hope your next post will be to tell us that you two are together again.
Qwerties.
PS: Good luck for your job hunting too. Just dont give up in whatever you do. -
get a grip man. i dun get it... the forumites here say it isn't your fault... i dun get it.. lolz...
your gal was just being friendly to a colleague and you went to call him and Arked him.. and she was angry with you for not trusting her. is that wrong of her?? she already told you it's nothing between her and the guy, you still take it so far. if i were the gal, i'd feel very insulted.
maybe you're the insecure one. the big age diff between you two might be bugging you, i can't say for sure.. you're always scared your gal will run off with another guy.... i dunno, you sound very immature to me. no offence.
get a grip man.
your gal doesn't owe you anything. you want her, you got to be liek a man. stop thinking about your past. stop being so suspicious. give the poor gal some space to breathe.
all the best dude.