Men attached and playboys/experts of dating, please assist.
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Harlo,
I hope all those guys who are happily attached and those who are highly qualified PUAs, playboys and good charisma guys with lady-knowing vibes help me by posting advise for me here.
Req: At least 5 gf experience or more den 4 years HAPPY experience with current gf.
I always envied guys who have gfs, and personally, I think guys with good looks are just blessed.
I don't have such luck with women, and I don't know ass-kicking men who are able to get gfs, change them every now and then also. Most of my guy friends in my circle are single, and attached male friends of mine mostly told me they "got lucky."
Question is.. how exactly do you chase a girl anyway... ?
Don't fret me on asking my female friends for advises, they either,
a) sabohing me by hinting the girl I like
b) offer me advises like tell her straight, and let me eat dirt
c) talk a lot of bullcrap and not giving proper advises.
Now I got this girl that I really, really like. We have been friends for 4 years, and recently, we been going out and chatting up on phone also.
Every single outing we had, it was fiilled with fun and laughter and a lot of crap talking that suaned the hellva each other. Then at the end of the day, usually she ask me out a second time, this time round with her friends also.. ended up I made all her friends crack up.
Always when we were out, she would like to grab my arm, hit me playfully and call me all kinda names.. also pounced and tickled me during the time we were chatting in my car.
Sent her home once really late in night, and her mum saw me.
Kept smiling at as I used their toilet, I apologised to her parent that I did'nt buy anything as a first meeting.
After I reached home, she called me to tell me her mum likes me and was singing praises how polite I was.
right now.. here comes the problem... I got this funny thing with me, that this thing screwed me over and over and OVER OVER many times.
I can't seem to focus now.. something jus triggered in me and Im kinda afriad to ask her out.. suddenly I become more shy and to a state that I fear rejection even before it happens..
Last night I tried to call her, her mum still answered cheerily to me and called her to the phone but she told me she needed to bathe while I told her I wait for her to call..
she just msged me 2 hours later stating its late already, told me to go and sleep. ~_~
I cant.. maybe cos I din get to hear from her... hmmm.. and back my thoughts ran though my mind as i remembered how i was rejected by my ex-gf 3 years ago.
I always had this self - destruct mindset that each time I met with a small setback, I simply stopped chasing, and i gave up on many good ladies in my life. The fear of loving someone again spun butterflies in my tummy.
so today I was thinking the entire day, how do I step out from my rejected mind and be confident again? Always I cant be presistent, and from what I hear from what she msg last night, i feel as if she trying to avoid me.. maybe she is not, or she jus being considerate.. I feel failed and as if that she won't like a guy like me..
I know I have a steady set of friends, I know Im healthy, Im funny, im not handsome but at least im cute, or so many of my silly friends tell me.. I am confident of myself, good self esteem and have good thoughts for myself throughout the day. However, my 2nd nature pulls me when I feel something for someone.
No one yet, have taught me how to get rid of the rejecting mindset I have been struggling through all these years.. I feel so sia sway and paiseh to tell people of my problem.. even this girl i am liking so dearly, i feel like giving up already. Im scared for no apparent reason and if she decides to test me by throwing a tatrum, im so out..
its like a song by Daniel Chan - Ai Ni Duo Ni
So all masters of love, princes of hearts, my elder brothers, if possible.. help ur unconfident, small friend here.. help me.. teach me, Im willing to learn, really. I like this girl, but when i shift her from friend to lover.. i get all squishy and worried.. help me get out of this mindset, I can't tell my problem publicly, im jus too ashamed to do that. and I can only seek help here.
argh.. -
Amoeba
Slow and steady 
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can summarise? 1/10 through ur story i'm sian liao.
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Congrats on your long first post.
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Whenever you feel like quitting, ask yourself these questions:
1) What is more painful, face a possible rejection or regret painfully for the rest of your life that you never find out whether she will be the one for you?
2) Can you live forever? Are you going to keep wasting your life hesitating and wondering until you are old and grey liao before you finally have courage?
Cheers -
Go out with her anytime and when you know she's feeling comfortable and in a cheerful mood. Just tell her "Hey, you want to know a secret?", and if she asked you what it is...just tell her "I think I've a crush on you."
That's what makes the difference between attached and not attached. Whether you got the balls to tell her what you feel...hopefully at the correct time please.
She won't consider you unless you let her know...or...she already liked you long before you confessed to her. So just let her know what you feel.
She won't say nasty words like "eeee........you're so ugly and still want to be with me, sorry hor...i only like yandaos or rich guys with at least a car."
You have to show her who you are and I'm sure she know who you really are cos she've been your friend for quite some time already.
No tricks needed...just needed a heart with the capacity to withstand the truth and reality of life and a burning desire to be an absolute bf.
Good luck.Originally posted by SnowGiant:Harlo,
I hope all those guys who are happily attached and those who are highly qualified PUAs, playboys and good charisma guys with lady-knowing vibes help me by posting advise for me here.
Req: At least 5 gf experience or more den 4 years HAPPY experience with current gf.
I always envied guys who have gfs, and personally, I think guys with good looks are just blessed.
I don't have such luck with women, and I don't know ass-kicking men who are able to get gfs, change them every now and then also. Most of my guy friends in my circle are single, and attached male friends of mine mostly told me they "got lucky."
Question is.. how exactly do you chase a girl anyway... ?
Don't fret me on asking my female friends for advises, they either,
a) sabohing me by hinting the girl I like
b) offer me advises like tell her straight, and let me eat dirt
c) talk a lot of bullcrap and not giving proper advises.
Now I got this girl that I really, really like. We have been friends for 4 years, and recently, we been going out and chatting up on phone also.
Every single outing we had, it was fiilled with fun and laughter and a lot of crap talking that suaned the hellva each other. Then at the end of the day, usually she ask me out a second time, this time round with her friends also.. ended up I made all her friends crack up.
Always when we were out, she would like to grab my arm, hit me playfully and call me all kinda names.. also pounced and tickled me during the time we were chatting in my car.
Sent her home once really late in night, and her mum saw me.
Kept smiling at as I used their toilet, I apologised to her parent that I did'nt buy anything as a first meeting.
After I reached home, she called me to tell me her mum likes me and was singing praises how polite I was.
right now.. here comes the problem... I got this funny thing with me, that this thing screwed me over and over and OVER OVER many times.
I can't seem to focus now.. something jus triggered in me and Im kinda afriad to ask her out.. suddenly I become more shy and to a state that I fear rejection even before it happens..
Last night I tried to call her, her mum still answered cheerily to me and called her to the phone but she told me she needed to bathe while I told her I wait for her to call..
she just msged me 2 hours later stating its late already, told me to go and sleep. ~_~
I cant.. maybe cos I din get to hear from her... hmmm.. and back my thoughts ran though my mind as i remembered how i was rejected by my ex-gf 3 years ago.
I always had this self - destruct mindset that each time I met with a small setback, I simply stopped chasing, and i gave up on many good ladies in my life. The fear of loving someone again spun butterflies in my tummy.
so today I was thinking the entire day, how do I step out from my rejected mind and be confident again? Always I cant be presistent, and from what I hear from what she msg last night, i feel as if she trying to avoid me.. maybe she is not, or she jus being considerate.. I feel failed and as if that she won't like a guy like me..
I know I have a steady set of friends, I know Im healthy, Im funny, im not handsome but at least im cute, or so many of my silly friends tell me.. I am confident of myself, good self esteem and have good thoughts for myself throughout the day. However, my 2nd nature pulls me when I feel something for someone.
No one yet, have taught me how to get rid of the rejecting mindset I have been struggling through all these years.. I feel so sia sway and paiseh to tell people of my problem.. even this girl i am liking so dearly, i feel like giving up already. Im scared for no apparent reason and if she decides to test me by throwing a tatrum, im so out..
its like a song by Daniel Chan - Ai Ni Duo Ni
So all masters of love, princes of hearts, my elder brothers, if possible.. help ur unconfident, small friend here.. help me.. teach me, Im willing to learn, really. I like this girl, but when i shift her from friend to lover.. i get all squishy and worried.. help me get out of this mindset, I can't tell my problem publicly, im jus too ashamed to do that. and I can only seek help here.
argh.. -
Drift it's a good one on number 2. i totally agree with thatOriginally posted by DriftingGuy:Whenever you feel like quitting, ask yourself these questions:
1) What is more painful, face a possible rejection or regret painfully for the rest of your life that you never find out whether she will be the one for you?
2) Can you live forever? Are you going to keep wasting your life hesitating and wondering until you are old and grey liao before you finally have courage?
Cheers
i live with that philosophy in living,knowing that i will never know when i will i simply leave this world.
so when i find myself liking a gal,i go all out and go after her.after getting her i would love her with all my heart. i just couldn't bring myself to hurt anyone. it's just me. one of my ex broke up with me claiming i'm simply too nice (no bullpoo bro on this)
now i'm happily with my going to be 3 years gf (paiseh never meet your criteria but i think i got something to share) i'm planning to wait for her to finish her studies and marry her cos i know i found the one.
so u never know if you really know u find the one for you till you try! sit down and think it over carefully.
does her gestures to you remains the same to other guys?
does she also make body contact with other guys?
does she confide in you?
why she would tell you her mom likes you?
have a nice quiet moment and think about it. i'm waiting to hear back from you! -
Tell her straight about how you feel,procastination will get you nowhere.If she rejects you,you can move on and continue to be friends with her.
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" i remembered how i was rejected by my ex-gf 3 years ago"
To help you i need to know more about your past.
How were you rejected?
Is 3 years already and you still cannot forget?
It seems your case is more of your past experience problem with love.
try to explain more.
I need to find the root to your problem. -
So many pros and gurus here liao.
M© shake leg.
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chances are, she likes you. i know cos i'm a gal. so why are you still hesitating bro? that phone call thing is just a normal event. dun read too much into it.
you like the gal, you got to tell her. cowardise will only cause you to lose her, even as a friend.
you go bro. good luck. -
I figured out what went wrong. Simply, lack of confidence. Using your body language to exude confidence (relaxed, eye contact at all times, stand tall, do things slowly...) is simply irresistible to any girl.
If she seems not interested at all, simply don't waste your time. Move on. There are many pretty girls out there waiting for you.Originally posted by SnowGiant:Harlo,
I hope all those guys who are happily attached and those who are highly qualified PUAs, playboys and good charisma guys with lady-knowing vibes help me by posting advise for me here.
Req: At least 5 gf experience or more den 4 years HAPPY experience with current gf.
I always envied guys who have gfs, and personally, I think guys with good looks are just blessed.
I don't have such luck with women, and I don't know ass-kicking men who are able to get gfs, change them every now and then also. Most of my guy friends in my circle are single, and attached male friends of mine mostly told me they "got lucky."
Question is.. how exactly do you chase a girl anyway... ?
Don't fret me on asking my female friends for advises, they either,
a) sabohing me by hinting the girl I like
b) offer me advises like tell her straight, and let me eat dirt
c) talk a lot of bullcrap and not giving proper advises.
Now I got this girl that I really, really like. We have been friends for 4 years, and recently, we been going out and chatting up on phone also.
Every single outing we had, it was fiilled with fun and laughter and a lot of crap talking that suaned the hellva each other. Then at the end of the day, usually she ask me out a second time, this time round with her friends also.. ended up I made all her friends crack up.
Always when we were out, she would like to grab my arm, hit me playfully and call me all kinda names.. also pounced and tickled me during the time we were chatting in my car.
Sent her home once really late in night, and her mum saw me.
Kept smiling at as I used their toilet, I apologised to her parent that I did'nt buy anything as a first meeting.
After I reached home, she called me to tell me her mum likes me and was singing praises how polite I was.
right now.. here comes the problem... I got this funny thing with me, that this thing screwed me over and over and OVER OVER many times.
I can't seem to focus now.. something jus triggered in me and Im kinda afriad to ask her out.. suddenly I become more shy and to a state that I fear rejection even before it happens..
Last night I tried to call her, her mum still answered cheerily to me and called her to the phone but she told me she needed to bathe while I told her I wait for her to call..
she just msged me 2 hours later stating its late already, told me to go and sleep. ~_~
I cant.. maybe cos I din get to hear from her... hmmm.. and back my thoughts ran though my mind as i remembered how i was rejected by my ex-gf 3 years ago.
I always had this self - destruct mindset that each time I met with a small setback, I simply stopped chasing, and i gave up on many good ladies in my life. The fear of loving someone again spun butterflies in my tummy.
so today I was thinking the entire day, how do I step out from my rejected mind and be confident again? Always I cant be presistent, and from what I hear from what she msg last night, i feel as if she trying to avoid me.. maybe she is not, or she jus being considerate.. I feel failed and as if that she won't like a guy like me..
I know I have a steady set of friends, I know Im healthy, Im funny, im not handsome but at least im cute, or so many of my silly friends tell me.. I am confident of myself, good self esteem and have good thoughts for myself throughout the day. However, my 2nd nature pulls me when I feel something for someone.
No one yet, have taught me how to get rid of the rejecting mindset I have been struggling through all these years.. I feel so sia sway and paiseh to tell people of my problem.. even this girl i am liking so dearly, i feel like giving up already. Im scared for no apparent reason and if she decides to test me by throwing a tatrum, im so out..
its like a song by Daniel Chan - Ai Ni Duo Ni
So all masters of love, princes of hearts, my elder brothers, if possible.. help ur unconfident, small friend here.. help me.. teach me, Im willing to learn, really. I like this girl, but when i shift her from friend to lover.. i get all squishy and worried.. help me get out of this mindset, I can't tell my problem publicly, im jus too ashamed to do that. and I can only seek help here.
argh.. -
You have already identified the problem yourself. It is your own mindset. Although it is hard to change, you should still try. It is a lack of self confidence on your part.
For now, perhaps you take things as per normal. Things may turn out to be more natural than you think. -
MAI TU LIAO
Just ask her.
Or, when there are only the 2 of you going out, find an opportunity to hold her hand (when crossing the road or something like that). If she doesn't resist, you should know what it means!
Good luck! 
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MUAHAHAHAHAHH!!! i did something similiar to my curent GF and she din resist!Originally posted by Kenneth Tan Jian Wei:MAI TU LIAO
Just ask her.
Or, when there are only the 2 of you going out, find an opportunity to hold her hand (when crossing the road or something like that). If she doesn't resist, you should know what it means!
Good luck! -
ah... an old-fashioned trick that works!!Originally posted by Kenneth Tan Jian Wei:MAI TU LIAO
Just ask her.
Or, when there are only the 2 of you going out, find an opportunity to hold her hand (when crossing the road or something like that). If she doesn't resist, you should know what it means!
Good luck! -
Just remember -
"It is our own thoughts that lead us into trouble, not other people" -
Hmmm.....like this trick. I have a feeling that you don't want to lose her as a friend if she was to reject u.Originally posted by Kenneth Tan Jian Wei:MAI TU LIAO
Just ask her.
Or, when there are only the 2 of you going out, find an opportunity to hold her hand (when crossing the road or something like that). If she doesn't resist, you should know what it means!
Good luck!
If you really like her....u have to tell her....no choice. Show her u got the guts....you must not have very, very high hopes though. Who knows your sincerity will prevail. -
One phrase:
DO OR DO NOT, THERE IS NO TRY
Dont try.
Do what you feel is right.
Even if you fail, it doesnt matter.
Analyse what happened, then do it again, making sure you dont repeat your mistakes.
FAILURE LEARNING EXPERIENCE SUCCESS
hope that helps
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r u sure u wan spoil wat u & her share now ?
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be sincere, be honest, be yourself.
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She nt attached rite ?
Then waiting wil onli waste both of ur time. If unlucky, she wil get snap up by other pple.
Wait no more. -
Sounded like a Enigma song.Originally posted by 9dn6test:One phrase:
DO OR DO NOT, THERE IS NO TRY
Dont try.
Do what you feel is right.
Even if you fail, it doesnt matter.
Analyse what happened, then do it again, making sure you dont repeat your mistakes.
FAILURE LEARNING EXPERIENCE SUCCESS
hope that helps 
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hi,
Just go and tell her how you feel towards her in her face...
seriously if you have no guts/courage to say this simple thing to the girl you love how are you going to take care and protect her should you two become an item? its not a crime to like someone... if she's a sensible lady she will not refuse you the very minimal opportunity to be a friend even if she rejects you...
good luck
Vidvin