miserable and lost
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my bf and i have been together for almost 4 years.
i love him dearly but he's not exactly the boyfriend anyone wants.
he lied to me for 3 years about this girl he used to like. i forgave him for that. 2 years ago, when he was in the army, he hit me at the slightest thing. i forgave him for that too. after army, he stopped hitting me - he claims its the stress.
anyway, i can tolerate all that but his temper is getting to me. he needs to win at everything. i accomodate him by playing all kinds of arcade, online, rpg games with him (i do enjoy them to a certain extent). but if i win him, he gets angry and if i joke that he's a sore loser - he gets angry too.
i understand how pride is to a guy but is pride everything? i give in to him for everything. he NEVER apologises, even when i'm right, i apologise just so that we'll stop quarreling. i admit i do have my faults as well - nobody's perfect. the thing is - he demands a perfect girlfriend.. and when i can't meet up to his "expectations", he will demand that i change to what he wants.
he has never given in to me all this while. after a quarrel, we will have a cold war as he will not want to talk to me. i leave him alone to cool down till the next day. but when he calls the next day he will demand i reach his house by a certain time if not i'll "get it from him"
the thing is, i could never bring myself to leave him. maybe cos' everytime he calls i could never have the heart to reject him. i'm gg to australia to study at the end of this month and he's supposed to follow - he has not paid for his fees yet though. i would love for him to go, but sometimes i feel that if he doesn't, maybe i can escape from all this.
i know i should face it and not escape but i don't know how long i can take this from him. i only have a week to decide if he should go with me cos' my parents are gg too and they expect him to go too. advice anyone? thanks -
Originally posted by fairyprincess:
I agree that he may not be ideal bf for u, but luv is blind & i believe u still hav feeling for him. However, u need to ask urself how do u see this r/s in 5 yrs or 10yrs? Is the man u really wanns to settle down with?
my bf and i have been together for almost 4 years.
i love him dearly but he's not exactly the boyfriend anyone wants.
he lied to me for 3 years about this girl he used to like. i forgave him for that. 2 years ago, when he was in the army, he hit me at the slightest thing. i forgave him for that too. after army, he stopped hitting me - he claims its the stress.
anyway, i can tolerate all that but his temper is getting to me. he needs to win at everything. i accomodate him by playing all kinds of arcade, online, rpg games with him (i do enjoy them to a certain extent). but if i win him, he gets angry and if i joke that he's a sore loser - he gets angry too.
i understand how pride is to a guy but is pride everything? i give in to him for everything. he NEVER apologises, even when i'm right, i apologise just so that we'll stop quarreling. i admit i do have my faults as well - nobody's perfect. the thing is - he demands a perfect girlfriend.. and when i can't meet up to his "expectations", he will demand that i change to what he wants.
he has never given in to me all this while. after a quarrel, we will have a cold war as he will not want to talk to me. i leave him alone to cool down till the next day. but when he calls the next day he will demand i reach his house by a certain time if not i'll "get it from him"
the thing is, i could never bring myself to leave him. maybe cos' everytime he calls i could never have the heart to reject him. i'm gg to australia to study at the end of this month and he's supposed to follow - he has not paid for his fees yet though. i would love for him to go, but sometimes i feel that if he doesn't, maybe i can escape from all this.
i know i should face it and not escape but i don't know how long i can take this from him. i only have a week to decide if he should go with me cos' my parents are gg too and they expect him to go too. advice anyone? thanks
Definitely, i not asking u to break up him immediately, but i believe u shld hav a heart to heart chat with him, telling him ur feeling & the hurt & pain u hav quietly suffered for the past 4 yrs. Hoping there's still some hope for him to change @ readaptation in ur r/s. I strongly believe u cant always give in to him, as he must know his limits & to give & take as well. How much more can u give in to him, how long can u give in to him, i seriously he shld take ur luv & the r/s for granted.
He shld hav treasure this r/s with u, as i can give u r very commited to this r/s, which i think it's good, however it's not fair for just u only. That maybe one of the reason why u having been feeling so insecureto this r/s & personally how u going to substain a long oversea r/s?
This conclusion based to ur own analysis, as u r the only one who know him well & know about ur feeling to the r/s. -
u happy to b wif him meh???
if yes u wun b doubting liao rite??
so friend...y still allowed self to b lost n miserable?
try to love urself more ya...
its very tiring to b keep on giving...in
every1 has a limit....
u really wana wait till..ur limit then explode??
or would u prefer to chop off 1st...?
at lease.. u still hv some nice memory of him??
so call yi han mei??
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Girl, just drop him.
This kind of guys are not worth your time. One easy question for you, just imagine yourself with this guy for the next 10 years. Visualize yourself and him daily battling and his abusing you at the slightest excuse.
Visualization over ? How do you feel ? Horror ? Fear ? Disgust ?
Trust in your instincts. No guy in the world have the right to make you miserable.
*Hugz*
May luck be with you. -
say goodbye to him...
goodbye and good riddance to bad rubbish..
you may say that you love him.. love him enough to walk away from him...
then learn to love yourself... someone out there will make you happy.. and when you do find him, and learn to love him.. you will look back and wonder what the heck made you feel that way in the past...
okay... that's the advice part out of the way...
now... here's the me part..
WHAT KIND OF PIECE OF CRAP HITS HIS GIRL??? HE'S SCUM!! WALK AWAY... RUN AWAY!! LEAVE HIM!!
NO ONE DESERVES TO GET HIT OVER!!
girl, for your own sake, your own safety, your own sanity, do the only thing that will give you a chance at happiness, rather than be trapped in a spiral of misery...
i do hope you'll be well... -
I dun know how u can live like this, your entire life is totally dictated by him. From the way you put it, he comes across to me as some raving juggernaut; men like that deserve to be condemned to eternal dammnation.
It's your life though and I bet since u've stucked with him for three odd years, there must be something in him that keeps you to him. Is it more of fear than not being able to bring yourself to tell him. I think only u know best.
I think it is a horrible idea that he comes along wif u to aussie land. I mean u are there to study, and it must have cost ur parents a bomb to send u there, ur relationship is as strained as it is, if anything should happen there, things might not be so pretty (I mean u can't just decide to come back to sg to get away from him rite) -
This guy is a fag, women beater and you should leave him ASAP
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Him going with u is not a good idea.. u need the time alone... maybe then u would realise.. the world is not sucha bad place after all..
and erm... he stressed then he hits u... and thats oni NS... when he works then how? lagi jialat...
do whats right and do whats good for urself..
there r much better trees around.. that would be good for u -
lol your bf sounds very childishOriginally posted by fairyprincess:my bf and i have been together for almost 4 years.
i love him dearly but he's not exactly the boyfriend anyone wants.
he lied to me for 3 years about this girl he used to like. i forgave him for that. 2 years ago, when he was in the army, he hit me at the slightest thing. i forgave him for that too. after army, he stopped hitting me - he claims its the stress.
anyway, i can tolerate all that but his temper is getting to me. he needs to win at everything. i accomodate him by playing all kinds of arcade, online, rpg games with him (i do enjoy them to a certain extent). but if i win him, he gets angry and if i joke that he's a sore loser - he gets angry too.
i understand how pride is to a guy but is pride everything? i give in to him for everything. he NEVER apologises, even when i'm right, i apologise just so that we'll stop quarreling. i admit i do have my faults as well - nobody's perfect. the thing is - he demands a perfect girlfriend.. and when i can't meet up to his "expectations", he will demand that i change to what he wants.
he has never given in to me all this while. after a quarrel, we will have a cold war as he will not want to talk to me. i leave him alone to cool down till the next day. but when he calls the next day he will demand i reach his house by a certain time if not i'll "get it from him"
the thing is, i could never bring myself to leave him. maybe cos' everytime he calls i could never have the heart to reject him. i'm gg to australia to study at the end of this month and he's supposed to follow - he has not paid for his fees yet though. i would love for him to go, but sometimes i feel that if he doesn't, maybe i can escape from all this.
i know i should face it and not escape but i don't know how long i can take this from him. i only have a week to decide if he should go with me cos' my parents are gg too and they expect him to go too. advice anyone? thanks -
princess u need a new prince..... there's alot frogs here waiting for ur kisses....like those SGT in army will say..... CHANGE, CHANGE, CHANGE!!!
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are you pretty or not? if yes then change to me
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oei... i came first hor.. pls queue up ok..Originally posted by the.raven:are you pretty or not? if yes then change to me -
Why is he treating u so shabbily?
Unconsciously, He is rejecting you, pushing you away.
In the hope that you might leave him.
But no matter what he do, you always came back - with love & forgiveness.
It is tiring.
How long can u tolerate his ways?
Will he change? -
i feel its better for u to leave for australia without him... make use of the time spent there to think about what u really want from ur boyfriend. im sure from what you said, ur bf's character isnt what any girl would want
let him feel the misery of you not being able to reply his calls or reaching his home by a certain time, make him feel the pain of mis-treating you when you were still available by his side. Only then will he regret his past actions. who knows, maybe this will help him change for the better.
asking him to go along with you will not help. he will most probably just continue his actions there, just like what he's been doing here.
i know sometimes, we have to do things against our own wishes to accomodate others, but its through these actions that we grow stronger, that people start to notice how much you've done for them, and in ur case, hopefully, your bf will notice how much you've done for him
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Pardon me, but I think he is a bit too chauvinistic, and a bit stubborn. He doesn't treat u properly at all...
Have u ever discussed with him? Or are u afraid any discussion will lead to more beatings and scoldings? Will your parents want to see u suffer under him?
Losing temper occasionally may still be acceptable to a certain extent, but a guy beating a girl? Not many can tolerate that...
Or maybe he is a bit too immature... Perhaps u shud give yourself some time off to make him think through. 4 yrs of a long relationship is quite some time, and u shud try to improve it, not thinking of whether you shud leave him or what... -
"the thing is, i could never bring myself to leave him."
sorry hor i want to ask hor
If one day he tells you he got another gf liao and got his child liao will you?
1) freak out and shout why you do this to me?
2) walk quietly away from him.
3) Slap him and start crying.
4) go aust to study and forget about him
5) totally back off from the couple and give them your blessing .
6) Hugs the new gf and say thks finally i can let go !! FReee!!!!
Just asking becos i want to see how much you love him. -
LEAVE HIM. Why DECEIVE YOURSELFOriginally posted by fairyprincess:my bf and i have been together for almost 4 years.
i love him dearly but he's not exactly the boyfriend anyone wants.
he lied to me for 3 years about this girl he used to like. i forgave him for that. 2 years ago, when he was in the army, he hit me at the slightest thing. i forgave him for that too. after army, he stopped hitting me - he claims its the stress.
anyway, i can tolerate all that but his temper is getting to me. he needs to win at everything. i accomodate him by playing all kinds of arcade, online, rpg games with him (i do enjoy them to a certain extent). but if i win him, he gets angry and if i joke that he's a sore loser - he gets angry too.
i understand how pride is to a guy but is pride everything? i give in to him for everything. he NEVER apologises, even when i'm right, i apologise just so that we'll stop quarreling. i admit i do have my faults as well - nobody's perfect. the thing is - he demands a perfect girlfriend.. and when i can't meet up to his "expectations", he will demand that i change to what he wants.
he has never given in to me all this while. after a quarrel, we will have a cold war as he will not want to talk to me. i leave him alone to cool down till the next day. but when he calls the next day he will demand i reach his house by a certain time if not i'll "get it from him"
the thing is, i could never bring myself to leave him. maybe cos' everytime he calls i could never have the heart to reject him. i'm gg to australia to study at the end of this month and he's supposed to follow - he has not paid for his fees yet though. i would love for him to go, but sometimes i feel that if he doesn't, maybe i can escape from all this.
i know i should face it and not escape but i don't know how long i can take this from him. i only have a week to decide if he should go with me cos' my parents are gg too and they expect him to go too. advice anyone? thanks
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A man who beats up his woman is the worst scum on earth. The guy is not worth your love, leave him before you seriously get injured physically. Not only that, by choosing to stay with him, you are indirectly hurting those who care for you, like your parents, relatives and friends.
From the way you described, you seems to be still young, so, better get out of this relationship before you reach the state where you feel that all the men on earth are bad.
If he doesn't let you leave him, I suggests you talk to your parents and ask them for help. -
Just leave him...
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fairyprincess:
Be careful, he might still beat you if you marry him next time. Guys do not change even if they marry. -
Why let him abuse and cheapen you like that?
You definitely deserve someone better!
Leave him and dun turn back.
I cannot tolerate a man hitting a woman. -
where got man hit woman one?? that's is called women hitting women lahOriginally posted by browniebaobao:Why let him abuse and cheapen you like that?
You definitely deserve someone better!
Leave him and dun turn back.
I cannot tolerate a man hitting a woman. -
from your sentence, we see your slip is showing...Originally posted by I-like-flings(m):where got man hit woman one?? that's is called women hitting women lah
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I think he meant to call her bf a 'woman'....Originally posted by the Bear:from your sentence, we see your slip is showing... -
i think he meant "woman" as a disrespectful term.. and in that, he shows how much respect he has for women...
but back to the topic, violence should never be condoned...
and worse, he's treating her like crap, taking advantage of her and being a parasite...Originally posted by Devil1976:I think he meant to call her bf a 'woman'....