Just want to pour out my sorrows...
-
Hi everyone,
i am new to this place and in fact this is my first post. i would like t hear your view below and pls feel free to comment.
I had steady gf A for 2.5 years. Recently i met this gal N. We went out a few times. We talked and shared views on relationship. N knows that i am attached. Thru the conversation, N noted that i wanted a perfect gf with all the criteria tha i mentioned to her.
N and myself went out a few more times. N started to behave exactly wat a perfect gf that i am looking for. In no time, i had started to like her. But however i am still with A. At that time, A notice that i had changed in my style and she suspected. But A action annoyed me alot and we started to quarrel. i was feedup with him and called for a stop to our relationship. We separeted. Not long after, i officially come together with N. Later i discovered that N was a liar. She wanted money and play with my feelings. I was sad. But there is really nothing that i can do. So for one month, i am single. Did not go back to A or started another relationship. Coz i know that it will not be fair.
A started to call me. She approached my friends, my brother and my parents. She even arrange for a counselling session for us. I attended. From all her action, i told myself stop fooling around. She is a nice gal and i should treat her better. So i came back to her. But when we are together for two weeks, she wanted to break up. She told me that she cannot forget what i had done on her. To leave her for another woman. A keeps on saying if N is not a liar, she will lost this relationship forever. I understand that. But i was confussed. Why during then she never think of such a issues? If she cannot forgive, why still asking me to come back to her and do so many things? Can you pls advice.t hanks -
Maybe she have just started out for revenge?Originally posted by andy13:Hi everyone,
i am new to this place and in fact this is my first post. i would like t hear your view below and pls feel free to comment.
I had steady gf A for 2.5 years. Recently i met this gal N. We went out a few times. We talked and shared views on relationship. N knows that i am attached. Thru the conversation, N noted that i wanted a perfect gf with all the criteria tha i mentioned to her.
N and myself went out a few more times. N started to behave exactly wat a perfect gf that i am looking for. In no time, i had started to like her. But however i am still with A. At that time, A notice that i had changed in my style and she suspected. But A action annoyed me alot and we started to quarrel. i was feedup with him and called for a stop to our relationship. We separeted. Not long after, i officially come together with N. Later i discovered that N was a liar. She wanted money and play with my feelings. I was sad. But there is really nothing that i can do. So for one month, i am single. Did not go back to A or started another relationship. Coz i know that it will not be fair.
A started to call me. She approached my friends, my brother and my parents. She even arrange for a counselling session for us. I attended. From all her action, i told myself stop fooling around. She is a nice gal and i should treat her better. So i came back to her. But when we are together for two weeks, she wanted to break up. She told me that she cannot forget what i had done on her. To leave her for another woman. A keeps on saying if N is not a liar, she will lost this relationship forever. I understand that. But i was confussed. Why during then she never think of such a issues? If she cannot forgive, why still asking me to come back to her and do so many things? Can you pls advice.t hanks
Or maybe she's just currently confused? Like what can ensure that you won't be doing the same thing to her again after what she've done?
After so much that she've done for you, perhaps it's time that you start putting some effort on your part to EARN her TRUST back again...? -
think she is reacting this way becoz the trust was broken.. can't blame her for tt.. guess she really luv u alot to feel tt she can forgo all tt u had done.. but trust mi, its easier said then done..
so it u really luv her, give her time, prove to her tt u meant it this time.. but be prepared tt whenever arguements arise, bringing up of 'old debts' r inevitable.. -
think u deserved tat... nothing much to say...
-
the girl is telling you to please show her that you are trustworthy and true to her
-
Perhaps she can forgive u for what u did, but the hurt is there, she can never forget. Maybe she really wanted to patch with u but she will always be reminded of what happened and thus makes her feel insecure.
-
I'll come straight to the point, this is easy.
She's starting to feel insecure about being with you and her horror got the better of her. So...she needs assurrances from you to pacify her fears.
She still loves you, but she needed to know your committment to this relationship...again. Treasure her and don't disappoint her or abused her love for you...and never ignore/neglect her.
Good luck.Originally posted by andy13:Hi everyone,
i am new to this place and in fact this is my first post. i would like t hear your view below and pls feel free to comment.
I had steady gf A for 2.5 years. Recently i met this gal N. We went out a few times. We talked and shared views on relationship. N knows that i am attached. Thru the conversation, N noted that i wanted a perfect gf with all the criteria tha i mentioned to her.
N and myself went out a few more times. N started to behave exactly wat a perfect gf that i am looking for. In no time, i had started to like her. But however i am still with A. At that time, A notice that i had changed in my style and she suspected. But A action annoyed me alot and we started to quarrel. i was feedup with him and called for a stop to our relationship. We separeted. Not long after, i officially come together with N. Later i discovered that N was a liar. She wanted money and play with my feelings. I was sad. But there is really nothing that i can do. So for one month, i am single. Did not go back to A or started another relationship. Coz i know that it will not be fair.
A started to call me. She approached my friends, my brother and my parents. She even arrange for a counselling session for us. I attended. From all her action, i told myself stop fooling around. She is a nice gal and i should treat her better. So i came back to her. But when we are together for two weeks, she wanted to break up. She told me that she cannot forget what i had done on her. To leave her for another woman. A keeps on saying if N is not a liar, she will lost this relationship forever. I understand that. But i was confussed. Why during then she never think of such a issues? If she cannot forgive, why still asking me to come back to her and do so many things? Can you pls advice.t hanks -
you dumbshi.t jackass...you lost her the first time...ain't nothing you can do to get her back again...i spit on your grave...
-
Forget about A and N do not waste time on both of them.
both girls are playing u out.
They are both looking for reverge and is only you who can stop them.
I can only suggest ways to prevent you from getting hurt is up to u to fellow them or not.
Time to do damage control and make a clean break with both of them.
Do not contact any of them and suggest you burn anything you have that reminds you of them asap.
Change hp or do anything to cut contact.
The lesser access you have with them the better.
Learn your lesson well and please do not look back at them.
The only way to counter them is to hack care about them. -
you, are an Ashol. leaving your gal for another more "perfect" gal is just downright disgusting. now you wan A back. wad is to say the next time u meet another more perfect gal you're gonna dump A again?? get a life you sht hole. give A a break.
-
No one is perfect. First, you already betray her and yet she still want you back. That proves that you really been a important person in her life. Give her some time and PROVE to her that you are no longer that person who betrayed her in the past. This is 2 1/2 years relationship. please cherish this relationship.
-
Originally posted by andy13:Hi everyone,
i am new to this place and in fact this is my first post. i would like t hear your view below and pls feel free to comment.
I had steady gf A for 2.5 years. Recently i met this gal N. We went out a few times. We talked and shared views on relationship. N knows that i am attached. Thru the conversation, N noted that i wanted a perfect gf with all the criteria tha i mentioned to her.
N and myself went out a few more times. N started to behave exactly wat a perfect gf that i am looking for. In no time, i had started to like her. But however i am still with A. At that time, A notice that i had changed in my style and she suspected. But A action annoyed me alot and we started to quarrel. i was feedup with him and called for a stop to our relationship. We separeted. Not long after, i officially come together with N. Later i discovered that N was a liar. She wanted money and play with my feelings. I was sad. But there is really nothing that i can do. So for one month, i am single. Did not go back to A or started another relationship. Coz i know that it will not be fair.
A started to call me. She approached my friends, my brother and my parents. She even arrange for a counselling session for us. I attended. From all her action, i told myself stop fooling around. She is a nice gal and i should treat her better. So i came back to her. But when we are together for two weeks, she wanted to break up. She told me that she cannot forget what i had done on her. To leave her for another woman. A keeps on saying if N is not a liar, she will lost this relationship forever. I understand that. But i was confussed. Why during then she never think of such a issues? If she cannot forgive, why still asking me to come back to her and do so many things? Can you pls advice.t hanks
Too much mental equation, causing you to make poor judgements and decisions for your love and relationship.
Regarding the dream-girl, you ought to know better that a perfect girl lies in the eyes of the beholder, and not in an idealogy state. You can probably only find the prefect relationship from the inperfect partners. It's great to have personal standard and in fact, I would encourage you to have one; however, in reality, we will usually fall back a little on our ideal standard regardless of how strict we are with ourselves.
Cupid's arrows have no known defense and even Zeus is not spared from the God of Love. How the soul and the mind sees things, are way two different sources. If this experience cannot allow you to learn this lesson, you could be 'losing' more than you ought to.
Generally what happens to A is similar; she probably still loves you, however the bitterness temporary overcome her and cause her to rake the past and seal doom into the relationship. The conflicts between the heart and mind, with one side saying 'I love him' and the other saying 'He's a jerk.'
P.S: You made your choice, you lived with them. What you learn from your mistake will benefit your future relationship for what's not yours, will never be. Express love through the heart, not the mind: You can't tell yourself to treat her better just because you 'think' she is a nice girl - you will come to realise in the future that it wouldn't work this way.
Cheers -
Andy13,
You are indeed very very lucky to be offered a second chance.
Very few people got it.
Of all the things she has done to get back with you, what have u offer/promise her in return?
There's no need for you to be confused, she went through phases of self-doubt, have her confident diminished & later, able to back on her feet.
Just do the right thing & win over her all over again. Show some conviction & sincerity. Let her have her 'revenge' if need to.
You still love her. Do u? Or am i wrong.. -
2 words of advice: Treasure Her
-
hi Andy,
I reckon you should try your best to earn A's trust back...as some forumers had mentioned... you've broken her trust....
I believed A is v confused.... cuz 1. the fact she gave you a second chance meant she still love you... but 2. she wanted to break up cuz she is not sure if you will do it again... and she'v vvv hurt (2.5 yrs of rlnship) by what you've done.... Perhaps sumthing inside her is saying you are not worth it...
Perhaps you can tell us what you all did in the 2 weeks u all patch back.... might be of help to give more appropriate advice..
I believe u can still win A back.... -
well, sorry to hear abt tat. but of cos i'm sure u're already beezee kicking ur own backside for all the trouble u had gone thru.
women r narrow minded n most unforgiving creatures. and if A is just wanting to b back with u for good memory sake and not for long terms, y continue? did u ask urself had u continued, and this same prejudice keep popping up, could u survive more onslaught and possibly real physical pain.
think abt it and make ur own decision.