The past haunts me
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"I dun understand why other guys look so normal also can have gf."
Man this is one inflammatory statement.
a) Normal guys don't deserve girlfriends because of their looks?
B) You're saying you'e good looking! Man, that's just being plain self-centered.
c) Girls only go for abnormal people?
d) Personality plays no part whatsoever in a girl's choice of a boyfriend.
e) Normal looking guys sucks.
jeez. -
Double post -
there's nothing wrong with being ATTRACTED to looks or money or a good body or whatever - that is HUMAN. Got chiobu or yandao kia, sure got people look one.
It is shallow only if you think you can find a meaningful and committed relationship based on JUST looks, or JUST money or JUST a good body. OR you put so much emphasis on the looks, money, physique that it is the thing that is the most important thing to you about someone else.
Regarding A or B, I mean, actually I don't think its such a big deal. You hurt someone, Someone hurt you. Part and parcel of life. Move ON. If you let one single hurt colour your entire perception of what life and love is all about, the only loser (and I am using this word to mean, one who loses things) will be you.
And its really pointless how many posts tell you, oh love is more than this this this, cos you don't wanna know and you don't wanna listen and understand. Nobody is perfect. All of us have our ugly sides and good sides. Unless YOU choose to believe differently, expect to see lots of people who are ugly in character cos you are looking at everyone through your own 'ugly' filter.
So What you want and how you want your life to turn out - really its up to you isn't it? -
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Originally posted by BaByBoY:haha
bbb u grew up le!!
lucky u say u don agree to that part only
keke
cheers and haf a nice day
ehh BBB, I tot u are BABY only, say I grew up le? Duiz.....
ok la fair enough, u are baby, I am bao bao. Hahaha -
What for hate her? She say she likes you but never indicate that she wanted to be with you nor did she imply that she wants you to leave your gf. In fact, everything was your own decision.Originally posted by Mystry:This is my story. A few years ago, I was in a relationship with Miss A. During this time, I got to know Miss B and she was a very fun and attractive girl. Did not feel anything much but slowly B got quite close to me and she confessed she liked me and I eventually broke up with A to try to be with B. I do admit that I was wrong but I didn't really loved A at that time. It was kind of a sudden relationship. B was the kind of "perfect" girl I had in my mind. I tried going after B after I broke up and B protested saying she didn't want to be the a third party. I spent much effort and time chasing her and although she admits she liked me, she did not accept me. In the end she went back to her ex-bf. I hated her for it. It was like being betrayed when all the things I did was because of her. After all this, my reputation suffered and my confidence dropped. And until now whenever I think back, the sense of hatred lingers in me yet I still treasure the happier times together. Until now I think that I am useless and have nothing to offer anymore. I also feel that every girl wants something out of guys be it money or looks. And there are so many guys outside who are so much better. Why would anyone want someone like me? I dun understand why other guys look so normal also can have gf. Pple may not know but I am those kind who live and die for love. Materials are secondary to me but not love.
You are just one of the sore loser who claims the grapes are sour just because you never get to taste them. How can you claim to be someone who live and die for love when you leave your gf just because there's someone who was almost like your ideal gf appears and says she likes you. Ever thought that it's just a confession which she can't do anything about it? Try to understand her situation. She says she likes you...but never say wanted to be with you and you just break up with you gf just to be with her. What does it make of her? Third Party! It doesn't matter what is the truth. The truth is, you left your gf for her and that makes her a third party whether you like it or not. So, can't blame her for not accepting you. -
ok i was wrong but what do i do to rid myself of my guilt and hatred?Both A and B have happily moved on with their lives. But because of this, i lost my self-confidence and whenever I see people especially girls, I always have this idea that they can read my mind and always suspicious of my actions. For example, I try to be nice aand humourous, somehow I feel they think I have a motive and they think I am immature. And i tot girls like to be humoured.And because of that I will try to distant myself from them.
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cant agreed more on this....Originally posted by axlrose22:"I dun understand why other guys look so normal also can have gf."
Man this is one inflammatory statement.
a) Normal guys don't deserve girlfriends because of their looks?
B) You're saying you'e good looking! Man, that's just being plain self-centered.
c) Girls only go for abnormal people?
d) Personality plays no part whatsoever in a girl's choice of a boyfriend.
e) Normal looking guys sucks.
jeez. -
1. Just concentrate on yourself for the moment and stop thinking about GIRLS. Spend some time for yourself, on your own, do some self reflection and assessment for your own sake. not anyone else. Self confidence is for your own sake, not to impress other people.Originally posted by Mystry:ok i was wrong but what do i do to rid myself of my guilt and hatred?Both A and B have happily moved on with their lives. But because of this, i lost my self-confidence and whenever I see people especially girls, I always have this idea that they can read my mind and always suspicious of my actions. For example, I try to be nice aand humourous, somehow I feel they think I have a motive and they think I am immature. And i tot girls like to be humoured.And because of that I will try to distant myself from them.
2. Stop thinking about how girls react to you. Just BE yourself.
3. Establish your own principles and understand your values. Have good intentions. If you do, why worry about people being suspicious of you? Cos you got nothing to be afraid of. Why you scared people read your mind, if there's nothing BAD in it?
4.. As long as you are just being yourself, (dont like to laugh, don't laugh. Dont feel like being nice, dont be nice), and you find someone you are truly comfortable with and enjoy being with without pretending to be someone else, THEN you start thinking about whether you want to be more than friends with this girl. not BEFORE. -
Nice advise. Thanks a lot. Sometimes I wonder if I have truly screwed up my life. Sometimes see others so many friends I felt that I should be like them but I screwed up. I dunno why I always try to reject pple or deny pple although deep inside I want to be friends with them. It's like a monster inside me that is always going against my true wishes.
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Do it slow... Maybe just 1 or 2 to start with...? And probably not so much in depth as you get to know more... There're bound to be 'nice' and 'bad' people out there, and a certain level of ugliness in each one of us...Originally posted by Mystry:Nice advise. Thanks a lot. Sometimes I wonder if I have truly screwed up my life. Sometimes see others so many friends I felt that I should be like them but I screwed up. I dunno why I always try to reject pple or deny pple although deep inside I want to be friends with them. It's like a monster inside me that is always going against my true wishes. -
resist the devil and he will flee from you. take care sister. or brother, whichever.Originally posted by Mystry:Nice advise. Thanks a lot. Sometimes I wonder if I have truly screwed up my life. Sometimes see others so many friends I felt that I should be like them but I screwed up. I dunno why I always try to reject pple or deny pple although deep inside I want to be friends with them. It's like a monster inside me that is always going against my true wishes. -
bro, no need to rid yourself of guilt, who no guilt. Your ex is happy now. so try to leave her alone, that is the best way to repay your guilt. unless you know she is not happy, then you wait quietly for her to breakup, don be the 3rd party now.Originally posted by Mystry:ok i was wrong but what do i do to rid myself of my guilt and hatred?Both A and B have happily moved on with their lives. But because of this, i lost my self-confidence and whenever I see people especially girls.
hatred for the 3rd party? you want to revenged? how? give nuisance call? hang pig-head? vandalize her wall? what the point? it is illegal plus evils begets evil, just suck thumbs, learn from mistake and convinced yourself that the guy she is with now is toying with her.. you will feel better, trust me.
tell you guys somthing about love. they say love is,
when you are walking in a garden, you cant turn back, you can only move forwarded. you can only pick 1 flower. The flower name is called LOVE, so the deliema is, 'how you know whether that is the right one for you? what if you come across a better one and latter found out it is not the one?'you cant go back anymore, what if you cant find a better one?'
so the morale is treasure with what you have, love can be cultivated, be contended.Do not despair,there is consolation for you, the only consolation is that you can choose your flower again.
you want to regain your self confidence?the most easy out of the 3.
I am on my way to gain self confidence. tell you how i do it, there are a couple of ways.
1) look more handsome, can go for contact lens, new haircut,braces, just make yourself handsome. so that you can walk with confidence and you will know girls will peep at you. After that, girls will peep at you whenever you walk passed, each peep will add to your confidence, trust me.
2)give a boost to your career, accomplished a good career. guys will get jealous and envious, you will have more friends, female colleaques will strat to view you different. of course including a vehicle of your own.
my plan is go for one, then two. AS a better appearance will help in career. all female colleaques will be at your feet and you can have what you want, whether it is in love or in career.
human are superficial, make use of that point.