Would u forgive?
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I had a good fren and she has been my fren for 8 years....
I have never asked her any favours... and i was always around when she needed mi... Some of my other GFs dont like her...
I admit that she in not a very easy person to hang out with but i know at least she was good to mi... good as in, we will hang out together, she will accompany when i needed someone to go shopping/clubbing...
My other Bfs thinks she is a fussy pot and hard to please... but she is my fren...
And recently i needed help and i requested for her company..Sad to say , she wasnt around and in fact gave mi more headache to my already exsisted problems....
I did tell her and chided her for not being a fren... where was she wehn i needed her most.... she said she was sorry and that would never happen.. i forgive..
And recently we had a quarrel.. Ya i admit she did want to give a help..(see story of parcel) Instead she did a terrible job, she didnt put my name nor did she admit its her fault..(She is working in a BIG logistic company). I could have lost $350 becoz of her neglience.. and it was her that offered to help in delivering the parcel..
(Story of parcel)
Her company is UP* and i keep calling the company and insist that a UP* parcel is being sent containing the item but the company said , they so far only received a parcel from DH*...
i called ans asked why u work in UP* and sent the parcel using DH* services?? she can relp mi saying "Why cannot!!" of coz i would get angry and start to scold her... Worst of all, she didnt even put my name on the parcel!! And she can slam down my phone....)
Truely disappointed , i stopped contacting her.... But recently she sents emails to mi(those forward emails)
Would u forgive and forget?? Would u be the first to approach her? -
read my signature
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think if she treasure u as a friend she'd ask for ur forgiveness. cos i really dun see why u should apologize.
is it needed when u have done nothing wrong? and if she's really sincere i think she'll at least send an e-mail directed to you and not forwarded e-mails.
but maybe you would like to decided whether this friend is worth for u to treasure. but if u r a dear friend to her; she should make the first move...
just a piece of advice from someone who had encountered similar situations before. -
i dont know but i guess she dont think its her fault...
funny.. anyway she got too much price... -
pls give her chance again. she has been ur frenZ for 8 yrs, worth giving her a chance. Well, prob she was in a lousy mood that day. No matter, u shld not judge her based on that particular issue.
Try to give her call & ask her out for a meal.
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To lose eight years' worth of friendship because of this incident is a total bummer.
I suggest you try to forgive her. Try asking her out to talk things through. If she doesn't reciprocate - then, well, you did all you could. -
"And recently i needed help and i requested for her company..Sad to say , she wasnt around and in fact gave mi more headache to my already exsisted problems....
I did tell her and chided her for not being a fren... where was she wehn i needed her most.... she said she was sorry and that would never happen.. i forgive.."
Can i ask, are u expecting too much from her? Yes i agreed best friend should help each other but there are times when people need some time off to do their own things.
"" And recently we had a quarrel.. Ya i admit she did want to give a help..(see story of parcel) Instead she did a terrible job, she didnt put my name nor did she admit its her fault..(She is working in a BIG logistic company). I could have lost $350 becoz of her neglience.. and it was her that offered to help in delivering the parcel..
(Story of parcel)
Her company is UP* and i keep calling the company and insist that a UP* parcel is being sent containing the item but the company said , they so far only received a parcel from DH*...
i called ans asked why u work in UP* and sent the parcel using DH* services?? she can relp mi saying "Why cannot!!" of coz i would get angry and start to scold her... Worst of all, she didnt even put my name on the parcel!! And she can slam down my phone....) """
Read the whole story, want to ask this
1) Did u ask her to put yr name on parcel?
2) Did u say that she must use UP*
She works in BIG logistic company so must know exactly wat you want without you telling her wat you need?
She did a service for you by helping you sent but it seems that you are totally unhappy for her help.
just want to remind you nicely that she is only your friend, not employee, not servant, not slave. Friends make mistakes, they are not perfect. From my point of view she really try to help but did not do it very well enough for you. -
maybe she had PMS
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i can feel that you treasure this friend. if this is so, why let it go over something so trivial?
all relationships is all about understanding, tolerance and respecting each other. the reason why you were so upset is because you have certain expectations of your friend. subconciously, you are expecting her to do certain things for you because she is your close friend. having expectations ruin relationships and creates unnecessary pressure on the other party being imposed.
i used to be like you (still trying to change), always having expectations of how my best friend should treat me and place me in upmost importance. i would jump on her if i called her with a problem and she appeared uninterested. this creates not only a toil on the friendship and also much unhappiness for myself because i was chasing after a vicious cycle.
what past is past. there is no need to brood over it. treasure the present and cherish the fate that you two can be close friends in this lifetime. -
a friend not there is a fiend indeed....
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1. I mean, regardless of whether SHE is your friend, if YOU are her friend then when you got problems and need someone, you will STILL be considerate and if she isn't available, then you will understand. There are a lot of things in the world in other people's lives more important than you and if you can't can't understand that, how good a friend are you?
2. Did you specify that the parcel must be sent using her company courier services? Also, after she did it, did you check with her again if the thing have been done and how it has been done?
If it is something you need to do, then YOU have to take responsibility for how it is done. WHICH MEANS, If you want her to help then you either trust her and let her settle it OR tell her specifically HOW you want to send the parcel. Don't assume it will be done your way if you didnt tell her what to do. And most importantly, you need to check with her if it has been done, how it has been done. It's your job, even if someone is helping you, you still have to be responsible for it if it screws up.
If you genuinely treat her like a friend, remember she don't OWE you anything for being HER friend. -
I guess your expectations of her is too high.
We need friends for our different needs to make our lives easier (& vice versa of course).
We have Geek friends, Party friends, work friends, AA friends etc..
So which type of friend is her?
Although, she works in a Logistics company, but she may not be in Operations and may not know how to ship a parcel to save her life.
She may be busy at that time & this is on top of her normal work duties.
Cut her some slack lah. 8 years is a long time. -
she could have told mi if she wanted to use another company's courier services... and earlier on the day itself i called her to check about the parcel, she was very hostile...
anyway its not only about the parcel, i have been thinking wat i have did for her as a fren when she is down..and how she treated mi...
Its always about she, herself and her shadow...
maybe its my fault too that i never put my feet down and stop her..
anyway i dont think i should be bothered since she dont bother also... if i matter to her, she would have called but she didnt... -
When it comes to friendship, one must test it to know whether a friend will
stood up on you. There are "zhan ni de pian yi" people out there. When they need help, they ask from you for free. When you ask from them, they "tui san tui shi". Seldom would they spare the time or go the extra mile to help you out.
Some even throw a tantrum.
So when it comes to friends, one must seive out the good from the bad ones.
Bo pian. just must.
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forgive........ask her out and tell her ur feel and see what is her response.........Originally posted by bluepiggy:I had a good fren and she has been my fren for 8 years....
I have never asked her any favours... and i was always around when she needed mi... Some of my other GFs dont like her...
I admit that she in not a very easy person to hang out with but i know at least she was good to mi... good as in, we will hang out together, she will accompany when i needed someone to go shopping/clubbing...
My other Bfs thinks she is a fussy pot and hard to please... but she is my fren...
And recently i needed help and i requested for her company..Sad to say , she wasnt around and in fact gave mi more headache to my already exsisted problems....
I did tell her and chided her for not being a fren... where was she wehn i needed her most.... she said she was sorry and that would never happen.. i forgive..
And recently we had a quarrel.. Ya i admit she did want to give a help..(see story of parcel) Instead she did a terrible job, she didnt put my name nor did she admit its her fault..(She is working in a BIG logistic company). I could have lost $350 becoz of her neglience.. and it was her that offered to help in delivering the parcel..
(Story of parcel)
Her company is UP* and i keep calling the company and insist that a UP* parcel is being sent containing the item but the company said , they so far only received a parcel from DH*...
i called ans asked why u work in UP* and sent the parcel using DH* services?? she can relp mi saying "Why cannot!!" of coz i would get angry and start to scold her... Worst of all, she didnt even put my name on the parcel!! And she can slam down my phone....)
Truely disappointed , i stopped contacting her.... But recently she sents emails to mi(those forward emails)
Would u forgive and forget?? Would u be the first to approach her? -
not all people are worth your time and effort.
if the relationship is unbalanced and so unhappy, why do you need to consider anything else? -
actually, i don't really get the story... i don't see the big fuss about the delivery.. is it absolutely essential to blow this matter over?
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that matter is the breaking point of all their past repressed grudges.Originally posted by starblue:actually, i don't really get the story... i don't see the big fuss about the delivery.. is it absolutely essential to blow this matter over? -
Hi there,
yr description of this female fren gives me the impression that she doesnt treasure frienship a lot. she could hv clarify the issue better instead of hanging up on u. but, did u give her a chance to explain. if i did not get u wrong, u scolded her immediately after she replied "why not" to ur very 1st qs (why use DH* when u work in UP*). and u also indicated that she has admitted her mistake. so...havent u been a little too petty abt that incident?? if it had happened to me, i would feel that its a pity to lose a frienship over such things. I would definitely patch up with her again, after all, u lose nothing by putting in a little effort of clarification. but if u feel ok abt lose her as a friend...then..just forget abt everything. CHEERS! -
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