Should I let time past or should I go head-on?
-
"To my surprise, she gave a pleasant reply that she treats me "as a very good friend only". Personally it was the best reply she can give as i do not wanna risk into going into a relationship with her"Originally posted by service_238:hi guys its my first time posting here. I have some inter-personal problems.. hope you guys can sound me out
Story goes like this:
I like this girl from my class in the polytechnic, been classmates for exactly a year on. Last semester we started going out but its usually with a third person who is a female. Eventually i got to know her better and of course i was attracted to her. We even take the same bus from school to her transfer stop in town. During those times we would chat about school stuff.
Now in year 2, i've decided not to be a coward and made it clear to her in a letter that i like her. To my surprise, she gave a pleasant reply that she treats me "as a very good friend only". Personally it was the best reply she can give as i do not wanna risk into going into a relationship with her. That happened on a 1st Friday.
The week that followed was rather good as i can put down my guard and chat with her whatever i want. we even chatted about our personal stuff on the bus after school. However, on the 2nd Thursday (which is the next thursday after the first friday) i bought a toy for her, thinking that she would like it. I passed to her after school in the bus.
The week that followed was almost the total opposite from the previous paragraph. She starts to keep her distance from me. She seldom talk to me. She replies to me sometimes in a very "reluctant" and "buay song" way. Today is the 3rd Friday. Things aint getting better. I wanted to write her a letter to clarify things with her but my friends around me who know this keep telling me not to write and just let time pass.
What do you guys think? Should I write her the letter and go head-on with this matter? or Should I just let time heal the wounds and hope she will stop keeping her distance from me?
I seriously do not wanna lose a friend like her. Things seems to be as bad as it is.
P.S She's in the same project group with me for 4 modules.
---> If she says about a good friend only... just forget about getting more than "a friend" to her ok... A girl usually wont tell anyguy "we're just friend" if she's interested to that guy, afraid that she will lose him and turn him off... "We're just a friend" means that she REALLY REALLY wants u to be a friend whom she can tell u about her problems, then can ask u to help her think about the solution.. or ask u when she needs help.. THAT's ALL...
"i bought a toy for her, thinking that she would like it. I passed to her after school in the bus.
The week that followed was almost the total opposite from the previous paragraph. She starts to keep her distance from me. She seldom talk to me. She replies to me sometimes in a very "reluctant" and "buay song" way".---> Actually i think a bit too rush... sounds to her like u already love her too much while she doesnt know u or even starts to think about u... U can only buy present for a potential girlfriend if you know clearly that she has already give u the signal that she likes u also.. otherwise.. don't buy anything.. flowers.. chocolate.. toys.. DON'T!!
"What do you guys think? Should I write her the letter and go head-on with this matter? or Should I just let time heal the wounds and hope she will stop keeping her distance from me"
It is better to do NOTHING for this time.. The more things u get for her will be worst.. will end up wont talk to u at all -
Its too late. Hes aready done it this time, intend to give her the letter of explanation.Originally posted by observer81:"To my surprise, she gave a pleasant reply that she treats me "as a very good friend only". Personally it was the best reply she can give as i do not wanna risk into going into a relationship with her"
---> If she says about a good friend only... just forget about getting more than "a friend" to her ok... A girl usually wont tell anyguy "we're just friend" if she's interested to that guy, afraid that she will lose him and turn him off... "We're just a friend" means that she REALLY REALLY wants u to be a friend whom she can tell u about her problems, then can ask u to help her think about the solution.. or ask u when she needs help.. THAT's ALL...
"i bought a toy for her, thinking that she would like it. I passed to her after school in the bus.
The week that followed was almost the total opposite from the previous paragraph. She starts to keep her distance from me. She seldom talk to me. She replies to me sometimes in a very "reluctant" and "buay song" way".---> Actually i think a bit too rush... sounds to her like u already love her too much while she doesnt know u or even starts to think about u... U can only buy present for a potential girlfriend if you know clearly that she has already give u the signal that she likes u also.. otherwise.. don't buy anything.. flowers.. chocolate.. toys.. DON'T!!
"What do you guys think? Should I write her the letter and go head-on with this matter? or Should I just let time heal the wounds and hope she will stop keeping her distance from me"
It is better to do NOTHING for this time.. The more things u get for her will be worst.. will end up wont talk to u at all
I think hes too impulse. -
i think he shld TALKED to her face to face, make it clear dat they are juz friends.
-
I jsut hope that he doesnt make things worse.
-
Well.. From the way I see it, you at least let her know what is going on from your point of view and accepting the facts or not is really up to her... OR you can just leave things as bundled up as they are now.... It's not like the chances of the situation getting any better would be high anyway without you making any move... If you would have preferred that, by all means.....?Originally posted by service_238:There is some friction between the 2 of us. but its just that neither of us are willing to address the problem openly. -
I don see what is wrong with writting a letter. sometimes writting a letter is good for the relationship, because some things in a relationship is difficult to say out. example,Originally posted by shaunlaw:Its too late. Hes aready done it this time, intend to give her the letter of explanation.
I think hes too impulse.
the flaw or weakness of the opposite party
It is recommended in the book, "women from venus, men from mars" somethings is better expressed by word. -
Heavenlyfire, have u read this?Originally posted by observer81:"To my surprise, she gave a pleasant reply that she treats me "as a very good friend only". Personally it was the best reply she can give as i do not wanna risk into going into a relationship with her"
---> If she says about a good friend only... just forget about getting more than "a friend" to her ok... A girl usually wont tell anyguy "we're just friend" if she's interested to that guy, afraid that she will lose him and turn him off... "We're just a friend" means that she REALLY REALLY wants u to be a friend whom she can tell u about her problems, then can ask u to help her think about the solution.. or ask u when she needs help.. THAT's ALL...
"i bought a toy for her, thinking that she would like it. I passed to her after school in the bus.
The week that followed was almost the total opposite from the previous paragraph. She starts to keep her distance from me. She seldom talk to me. She replies to me sometimes in a very "reluctant" and "buay song" way".---> Actually i think a bit too rush... sounds to her like u already love her too much while she doesnt know u or even starts to think about u... U can only buy present for a potential girlfriend if you know clearly that she has already give u the signal that she likes u also.. otherwise.. don't buy anything.. flowers.. chocolate.. toys.. DON'T!!
"What do you guys think? Should I write her the letter and go head-on with this matter? or Should I just let time heal the wounds and hope she will stop keeping her distance from me"
It is better to do NOTHING for this time.. The more things u get for her will be worst.. will end up wont talk to u at all -
yes i admit that i'm impulsive on my side to buy the toy. at that time, it didnt went thru my bloody brain and my heart just went ahead and do it.Originally posted by shaunlaw:Its too late. Hes aready done it this time, intend to give her the letter of explanation.
I think hes too impulse.
anyway guys, something ironic happened on tuesday...
the letter was typed, printed and all ready to give her on the bus ride home. however, the day turned out to be rather ok. she started talking on friendly terms with me (means no sacastic comments or whatsoever) during project discussion and also during tutorial which followed.
on the way back we were talking abt schoolwork and stuff and it seems that things are back to normal again. it hinders me of giving the letter for fear that after that it will go back to the state i was in last week.
wednesday no comments cos nothing much happened. but at least she quite friendly to me now.
today.. normal day... the chats we have on the bus were at least decent and not sacastic. but i noticed that the chats were mainly schoolwork, very little on personal stuff..
i think we're starting from scratch again, like last semester. -
Thats good. Maintain it this way cos that is the way she wants to be, a fren with u and rem a fren only.Originally posted by service_238:yes i admit that i'm impulsive on my side to buy the toy. at that time, it didnt went thru my bloody brain and my heart just went ahead and do it.
anyway guys, something ironic happened on tuesday...
the letter was typed, printed and all ready to give her on the bus ride home. however, the day turned out to be rather ok. she started talking on friendly terms with me (means no sacastic comments or whatsoever) during project discussion and also during tutorial which followed.
on the way back we were talking abt schoolwork and stuff and it seems that things are back to normal again. it hinders me of giving the letter for fear that after that it will go back to the state i was in last week.
wednesday no comments cos nothing much happened. but at least she quite friendly to me now.
today.. normal day... the chats we have on the bus were at least decent and not sacastic. but i noticed that the chats were mainly schoolwork, very little on personal stuff..
i think we're starting from scratch again, like last semester. -
yupOriginally posted by shaunlaw:Thats good. Maintain it this way cos that is the way she wants to be, a fren with u and rem a fren only. i shall treat her the way i did before. i shouldnt be greedy and ask for more since she quite ok with me.
thanks.
-
If you can better do it, chat with her about it rather than a letter....Originally posted by service_238:yes i admit that i'm impulsive on my side to buy the toy. at that time, it didnt went thru my bloody brain and my heart just went ahead and do it.
anyway guys, something ironic happened on tuesday...
the letter was typed, printed and all ready to give her on the bus ride home. however, the day turned out to be rather ok. she started talking on friendly terms with me (means no sacastic comments or whatsoever) during project discussion and also during tutorial which followed.
on the way back we were talking abt schoolwork and stuff and it seems that things are back to normal again. it hinders me of giving the letter for fear that after that it will go back to the state i was in last week.
wednesday no comments cos nothing much happened. but at least she quite friendly to me now.
today.. normal day... the chats we have on the bus were at least decent and not sacastic. but i noticed that the chats were mainly schoolwork, very little on personal stuff..
i think we're starting from scratch again, like last semester.
If you can, get a hand-written letter than a typed one...
If you're simply just fully contented with how everything is now and expect nothing much to go wrong from here on, just keep things as they are...?