Valuable Advice Needed on How to Deal with Slime Ball
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Hello everyone, need construtive advice and views from both gender.
There is this jerk.I would like to call him jerk anyway. He knows that my gf is attached.(to me that is) yet he would always sms her and call her.
What the #$% is he trying to pull??? He knew very well she is attached and yet always ever so often sms asking her if she is with her bf, gog out with bf etc...He would also call her on her mobile.
This jerk is so persistant and pain in the ass always doing such things. Even my gf's best friend(a guy) dont sms or call her so frequently. Sad but true, my gf seems not to mind such "attention". What irks me is that she would even bother to reply him.
I tried to reason with her once, asking who is it she is smsing....she would get pissed off and brushed me off and we would end up in a sour note for the day. Nowadays, I don't ask her but I know full well that #$% is still smsing etc etc.
It is easy to say one muz trust your partner but itz definitely not easy when there is such a persistant @#$% trying to be funny.
Now, do any of you guys or gals have this kinda problem.? How would you pple feel personally if there is this @#$ who keep sms your partner even with full knowledge that he/she is already attached.
And how do you pple handle it or any suggestions??? -
A confident and wise ruler knows it's kingdom won't fall even if it is attacked. Why worry if your girlfriend will be lost if you ahve faith in her?
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he is angry over his girlfriend, not the guy.Originally posted by Mystry:A confident and wise ruler knows it's kingdom won't fall even if it is attacked. Why worry if your girlfriend will be lost if you ahve faith in her?
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I also have same problem. But the guy was my friend from 6 years ago. I just didnt bother, cos Im confident in myself. If she wants to leave me for him, let her.
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Actually, itz that slime ball that pissed me off.
Honestly I dont know how strong is my faith.We are in fact making preparation/plans for our house all that. She blows hot and cold. When she is in good mood, she is very lovey dovey. Her work is very stressful and I can understand the stress she had to undertake. But when she gets frustrated at work, she just vent it on me and can be very harsh and nasty in her words. She wasn't like that in the past. Till she changed to this stupid job.
Anyway, the issue here is that sleazy slime ball. I am even tempted to just call that #$% and ask him to buzz off. How???
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I din even know this @#$%. And I even went to find out to see who this #$% is. Not very difficult coz I was from that org previously.
I would very much like to be as confident as you are but just that the constant "jiok jiok" by that @#$ really gets on my nerves. -
Simple. Call that #$% and ask him to buzz off. We dont know the true story here but it seems you already have the answerOriginally posted by astroseal:Actually, itz that slime ball that pissed me off.
Honestly I dont know how strong is my faith.We are in fact making preparation/plans for our house all that. She blows hot and cold. When she is in good mood, she is very lovey dovey. Her work is very stressful and I can understand the stress she had to undertake. But when she gets frustrated at work, she just vent it on me and can be very harsh and nasty in her words. She wasn't like that in the past. Till she changed to this stupid job.
Anyway, the issue here is that sleazy slime ball. I am even tempted to just call that #$% and ask him to buzz off. How??? -
Originally posted by astroseal:Actually, itz that slime ball that pissed me off.
Honestly I dont know how strong is my faith.We are in fact making preparation/plans for our house all that. She blows hot and cold. When she is in good mood, she is very lovey dovey. Her work is very stressful and I can understand the stress she had to undertake. But when she gets frustrated at work, she just vent it on me and can be very harsh and nasty in her words. She wasn't like that in the past. Till she changed to this stupid job.
Anyway, the issue here is that sleazy slime ball. I am even tempted to just call that #$% and ask him to buzz off. How??? -
I wish itz that simple and I can do that. Then my gf wont be damn pissed,saying I am restricting her freedom to have friends. But you guys tell me. Do you think this guy is just purely from being a friend's angle??? If so, is there a need to contact so often???when pple's best friend also occassionally meet up for dinner.
have the answer,i am not sure.Even if have also cant act. The thing is that she din even know I all these. I think I make a good SPF Investigation Officer.
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=.=uuu my previous post wun show up.Originally posted by astroseal:I wish itz that simple and I can do that. Then my gf wont be damn pissed,saying I am restricting her freedom to have friends. But you guys tell me. Do you think this guy is just purely from being a friend's angle??? If so, is there a need to contact so often???when pple's best friend also occassionally meet up for dinner.
have the answer,i am not sure.Even if have also cant act. The thing is that she din even know I all these. I think I make a good SPF Investigation Officer.
actually, u're blaming yr dissatisfaction on yr gf on the third party. it doesn't matter if he got funny thoughts anot, but u shld concentrate on yr gf rather than blaming him (even if he is a slimeball). the main focus is always on yr gf.
if u confront him, den if he complain to yr gf how? sure will cause argument de mah. and it proved you are a bullheaded person who rather listen to yr anger than "reason".
maybe he is just trying his luck, maybe he really likes your gf? that is his freedom!
just remember, don't make a baboon out of yourself, don't go and harass him. and do stupid things. u may thing its a guy ego thing, but to her, it might be pure stupidity.
u have no choice, but to trust in yr gf, if it doesn't work out, than its definitely not simply because the guy sms-ed her. -
well said Ito...
Thatz the reason when I din do exactly that...still managed to be logical....after all, why let some@#$%head get the better of me...perhaps his ultimate goal is wait for me to act then he had me BINGO....
I know full well the consequences.....but some how need to get it out of me.......
Thats why, this forum is the perfect place.... Get to air it out yet look at people's response,advice etc... sort of a counselling session....
Well, some pple might have encountered the same problem... jsut want to know how each react and and respond etc.. -
Me TOO have this problem.
Sad, to say/........... just Fcuk care la.
I dun know this guy, If know i surely find someone to XXX him
Teach a lesson.
Dun let your gf know la.
hahahaha.... -
get a lady friend of yours to do the same when you're with your gf and pretend to enjoy the attention too. if that pisses her, bingo!! if not, then i guess you need to be big about the whole thing....
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further complicated stuffs.Originally posted by countdracula:get a lady friend of yours to do the same when you're with your gf and pretend to enjoy the attention too. if that pisses her, bingo!! if not, then i guess you need to be big about the whole thing.... -
Hello astroseal,
I may like to suggest that this jealously is totally heathy...
You may like to haf a heart to heart talk one day w ur gf,
sometimes like clearing the closet, u must tell her wat`s botherong
so u bring out everything..
Let her know that you love her and the 3rd party is affecting ur love,
if ur gf is understanding of ur feelings then i guess she will not do it again
she needs to be reminded that you do love her and minds the fact that she`s smsing another guy....
Otherwise another way is to do the exact reverse
`` if you can`t beat them, join them !!``
get ur gf/wife to intro you this man,
make frens w him, and understands him more
1:
if he don mind, ask him along to ur outings and dates and stuff
then u perform PDA let him see.. piss him off..
i`m sure he can`t tahan for too long.. even if he`s some feelings for ur gf, he`ll too be sian 1/2 when he sees u all PDA..
if he can piss you off, u can retrun him the favour
2:
really get to know him as a fren,
then tell him that u really mind him smsing ur gf so often
-- this is rather hard thou, u need lotsa patience and self control
In my own humble opinions, don be faltered by this guy, if he pisses you off, don worry, u can do the same back to him and piss him even more,
just make sure u start on a good note w him.
it`s something like reverse sacarsm, show to him that u`re lagi closer to ur gf than he is, he`ll give up very soon..
Good luck and cheers,
BaByBoY -
i too has this problem , with my gf .... she got to many guy friends , when i ask her who la ... she gets pissed off .... some time infront of me also she talk with them on de fone ..... one thing i hate about girls is .... they dont know they really hurt us guys so much , they only think we hurt them , but dont know they are hurting us more , by the things they do and say .. is just that we keep quite and ponder about the thing the whole day .... haixx sometime i wish i dont have a gf ... last gf was 5 yrs ago , and would always be jealous with friends with gf .... always day dreaming of having a gf after so long , holding hands with her hugging her talking about each other problems , be there but walau all this thing pun boh ( dont have) only heart ache everyday some time can go out with other guys ,... but when ask her out , cannot la busy la .... and we only been gf and bf for only 1 & half month after counting her for 5 months ,think she pity me (including getting to know her ) haixxx sometime at home keep asking myself eh bro u been doing so well not thinking about any girls not getting hurt by any girls enjoying urself for this 5 yrs why did u wan a gf .!!! see wat u got now! heart ache really heart ache ! EVERYDAY and it really hurts .. can really feel the pain ..... haixxx i just wished i didnt meet her ..... wait another 5 yrs till i 27yrs old haixxxxxx would be better ..... she really dont give a damn about me ... nv even ask me wether i eaten when she calls ... its only about her ? haixx think its one sided love .... its only about her not me ..... i buy her things , care for her , concern for her and also very faithful to her ... but nothing for me !! no love , no concern ,and also she is flirting with others guys behind me 2 ... but i just dont wan think .. i have hear but i just trying to say no its just a lie ... but i keep cheating on myself cos i know there is really something wrong behind done to me !!! !!! dont know wat de hel| im getting in this relactionship !! Hey im not getting anything ! but why am i still clinging on ... i guess i was just too lonley ! and wan someone with me !!! by the way sorry i off topic .. just wanted to get this feeling out ...... by the way if its meant to be then just wait .... if ur gf of bf is good to you and very faithfull <--- Two most important thing .... dont lose that person dont do anything wrong behind the person ..... once u lost that person u will really regret one day ........
now we have broken off !!! u guys would know why in another thread , read wat i replied in the argg`s topic -
anyway advice to u ..... its not that guys fault , cos ur gf is not trying anything to
stop this thing , so dont blame that guy , just let it be , if ur gf is faithful , then
u dont have to worry , if she isnt then u just cant do anything about it -
Hm.. well i think i got similiar opinion...
1. Have a heart-to-heart chat with your gf over this issue CALMLY. I guess raising your voice wouldn be able to bring the message across.
2. Do tell her that you feel uneasy over this issue. I feel is healthy to get jealous. If u do not get jealous, then i think its a big problem to your relationship.
3. Interpret the outlook from her answer, if she keep assuring you that its only a friend or she feel sorry about the whole issue, i think you can set your mind already. If she just try to divert your attention from this topic or she just ask pissed off, maybe you like to think it over your relationship, if she is really suitable for you. Your character is abit senstitive type and if your gf dun even understand your character, i feel both of you might not be lasting so why bother to stick together and "suffer" -
man, just tell your gal it's not because you dun trust her, it's just that you don't like it when she's letting another guy come too close, cos you will get jealoused... if she Bitch about it, then ask her, if i not jealous at all u like meh?? you say one ah.... see how she respond loh... then tell us again ok??
normally ah, i think your gal likes your jealousy lah.. maybe that's why she's letting the guy sms her. but let her know that there is a limit to what you can endure. i hope she understands. if not, she may be just toying with you, for ego's sake. -
i say just leave things as they are buddy, this is your leaverage. haven't you heard enough of possessive gals cutting the boys off their social circles. keep this ace and use it when you need to, she cannot be pissed off when you want to hang out with your friends other then her at times...
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Since she does chu-yi, then you do shi-wu... control your jealousy and you have successfully found the right track to win this battle...
that guy, assuming he's trying to be funny about your gf, is exactly trying to work on your sensitivity, impulsiveness and jealousy... the more that guy tries to provoke you, the more you should be patient about the whole thing...
remember, never let your anger and emotions overwhelm your ability to think rationally... lose your temper and control and you'll risk a fall out with your gf... who gains from such a scenario?
vent your jealousy somewhere else... you can even go on single dates with other girl friends of yours...
you've earned your right since your gf feels she has such a right...
Vidvin -
well well. Some of the things you pple suggested I have thot of. Like geting my gal frens to msg me and I wont tell her who msg me etc. But I thot it over and feels that I dont have to be mean to her even if she is mean to me at times.
Thats why I am moving very cautiously in these. I din want to piss her off. She has very very short temper and patience. Of coz I would remind her once in a while that " Dnt do to others what you dnt want others to do to you" these kinda statements etc lah.philosophical i guess. And i dont know how much she really absorb. Just trying to put those thots into her. I think they are very valid thots in a relationship.
Last but not least, I know she din not do any thing funny behind me. That I am quite sure. Just that maybe she needed another voice,so as to speak. I had mentioned taht her job is very stressful.
I always reminded her that she can talk to me if she has any problem etc. I will be more than willing to listen to her etc. Many times, after we had a unpleasant encounter, went thru the shit,talked etc... then realised that prior to that in the day etc, she had some problems or nasty encounters at work. She dont talk to me abt it, just vent on me when i did even know whats her problem.
Of coz that happens only when she is feeling lousy.
Just that that #$% likes to "jiok jiok" her and she doesnt ind replying.... Guess I have to learn to adapt to this harrassment. Maybe after our marriage, that #$%^ get the idea and just buzz the @#$% out of our lives. -
Everything you described is a mirror image of what I have been through. Gf sms and call another guy when I am around, ask her who's she's smsing or calling, will tell me that I am restricting her freedom.. going out with other guys behind my back... haha.. we are so alike!Originally posted by gUms:i too has this problem , with my gf .... she got to many guy friends , when i ask her who la ... she gets pissed off .... some time infront of me also she talk with them on de fone ..... one thing i hate about girls is .... they dont know they really hurt us guys so much , they only think we hurt them , but dont know they are hurting us more , by the things they do and say .. is just that we keep quite and ponder about the thing the whole day .... haixx sometime i wish i dont have a gf ... last gf was 5 yrs ago , and would always be jealous with friends with gf .... always day dreaming of having a gf after so long , holding hands with her hugging her talking about each other problems , be there but walau all this thing pun boh ( dont have) only heart ache everyday some time can go out with other guys ,... but when ask her out , cannot la busy la .... and we only been gf and bf for only 1 & half month after counting her for 5 months ,think she pity me (including getting to know her ) haixxx sometime at home keep asking myself eh bro u been doing so well not thinking about any girls not getting hurt by any girls enjoying urself for this 5 yrs why did u wan a gf .!!! see wat u got now! heart ache really heart ache ! EVERYDAY and it really hurts .. can really feel the pain ..... haixxx i just wished i didnt meet her ..... wait another 5 yrs till i 27yrs old haixxxxxx would be better ..... she really dont give a damn about me ... nv even ask me wether i eaten when she calls ... its only about her ? haixx think its one sided love .... its only about her not me ..... i buy her things , care for her , concern for her and also very faithful to her ... but nothing for me !! no love , no concern ,and also she is flirting with others guys behind me 2 ... but i just dont wan think .. i have hear but i just trying to say no its just a lie ... but i keep cheating on myself cos i know there is really something wrong behind done to me !!! !!! dont know wat de hel| im getting in this relactionship !! Hey im not getting anything ! but why am i still clinging on ... i guess i was just too lonley ! and wan someone with me !!! by the way sorry i off topic .. just wanted to get this feeling out ...... by the way if its meant to be then just wait .... if ur gf of bf is good to you and very faithfull <--- Two most important thing .... dont lose that person dont do anything wrong behind the person ..... once u lost that person u will really regret one day ........
now we have broken off !!! u guys would know why in another thread , read wat i replied in the argg`s topic -
Great minds think alike??Originally posted by arrggh:Everything you described is a mirror image of what I have been through. Gf sms and call another guy when I am around, ask her who's she's smsing or calling, will tell me that I am restricting her freedom.. going out with other guys behind my back... haha.. we are so alike! -
Not think alike. Just that some pple happens to be in the same situation.
Anyway, I feel that in a relationship. There must be give and take. The saddest thing is despite all you have done, all the effort put in, the other party dun reciprocate.
Quite disappointed with my gf's thinking. She said if you want to do things, dont think of expecting reciprocation coz usually thats leads to great disappointment. Never mind reciprocation. All i ask for is appreciation. I think the two are essentially different concepts altogether. I feels that she is always taking things for granted.
How many of you have partners take take all you have done for granted. Itz something expected of you yet if you dont do it, it doesn seem right.