What to do next, I need serious advice
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At least she didn't reject u cos she don't like u.
It is only right that she is cautious after a breakup, need time to heal.
Just be patient & court her slowly.
Go ahead & cook for her. Show her your sincerity.
May I suggest u make soup, followed by pasta/ spagetti, buy wine, cheese, smoked salmon, dessert- ice-cream. Then put on DVD & watch a movie/ listen to music.
Make sure she has an enjoyment time so she will continue going out with u. -
alamak... expressing ur feelings thru phone... ARGH.
ok.. i guess wat's done cannot be undone.
ok just COOK THE DAMN MEAL will ya? i'm hungree!!!
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thanks for your reply guys
I knew some1 would say express thru phone is not appropiate but I cannot take it anymore u see, I dun want to mis interprete her friendly signals as "fall in love" signal -> I dun want to keep on guessing and guessing .... the feeling is terrible ...
the funny thing is we still chat on the phone for 1 hour even after that ...
She told me about the things she wants / dun wants in a partner ...
I won't give up . -
i concur with jOhO...
for big things like your profession of love, don't do it over the phone, do it in her presence
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looks like there's a pretty strong bond.Originally posted by FaithGuy:thanks for your reply guys
I knew some1 would say express thru phone is not appropiate but I cannot take it anymore u see, I dun want to mis interprete her friendly signals as "fall in love" signal -> I dun want to keep on guessing and guessing .... the feeling is terrible ...
the funny thing is we still chat on the phone for 1 hour even after that ...
She told me about the things she wants / dun wants in a partner ...
I won't give up .
i dunno why, ok i do know why, but i still can't stand it, when women sometimes "reject" or do watever they do, as a test of faith and sincerity.
so.. always try to act as if she's testing you, altho i totally hate that kind of mindset. -
doncha hate tests?
isn't faith enough? -
I sincerely hope that's the above case . I have stopped calling her since 2 days ago. I dun want to force her. If I do, I know I'll definitely get a harsh backfire...Originally posted by jOhO:looks like there's a pretty strong bond.
i dunno why, ok i do know why, but i still can't stand it, when women sometimes "reject" or do watever they do, as a test of faith and sincerity.
so.. always try to act as if she's testing you, altho i totally hate that kind of mindset.
I dunno, I am in confused dillemma, I dunno if I should continue or backoff, prehaps you don't believe, my tears nearly dropped when I typing , I never feel so devastated before, there were other obstacles hundreds times harsher than this current emotional affairs in the past but I never shed a single tear.
I got this Murphy Law feeling, something's gonna go wrong, it will go wrong. i dunno, prehap, really prehaps, I prefer, I shouldn't have known her in the first place... -
come on lar bro
each and everyone here also had their fair share of rejection.
so take things a bit easy is not the end of the world lor.
you will die from her rejection right?
is all rite to let the tears flow.
For me, I no longer shed tears any more for someone who do not like me at all.
I feel is a waste of my feelings and time for someone who just use some dumb excuse to reject you.
Is a phase of growing up that will make us stronger each time we encounter new problems.
If she do not want you nvm.
Still have us here in AA to support you!
You can count on us! -
For me if girl reject me I never ever look back.
It is safer to look forward then to go back to the same heart pain again. -
maybe u need to stabilise urself and be more rational instead of emotional. when u're emotional, what u do and say can get pretty distorted and illogical.Originally posted by FaithGuy:I sincerely hope that's the above case . I have stopped calling her since 2 days ago. I dun want to force her. If I do, I know I'll definitely get a harsh backfire...
I dunno, I am in confused dillemma, I dunno if I should continue or backoff, prehaps you don't believe, my tears nearly dropped when I typing , I never feel so devastated before, there were other obstacles hundreds times harsher than this current emotional affairs in the past but I never shed a single tear.
I got this Murphy Law feeling, something's gonna go wrong, it will go wrong. i dunno, prehap, really prehaps, I prefer, I shouldn't have known her in the first place...
so, keep it together and approach the topic when u are more stable, otherwise u risk blowing it up due to rash actions or words.
also, perhaps everyone's different, but i feel there's no "need" to "invest" in too much feelings for someone that is just a normal friend. u may have known her for a while, or not, but that doesn't matter. in a way, as long as she's not ur gf, dun pour everything on. doesn't matter who the girl is. i guess i speak as an advice to u for FUTURE reference. sometimes u can't help yourself from falling, true, but u also can help yourself by not counting ur chickens before their hatched. yes, most of us do that, and it INCREASES EXPECTATIONS and hence the pain.
why expect reciprocation when it's a priviledge not an entitlement? it's never an entitlement becos u can't EARN love like u earn money. no matter how good u are to someone, they dun love u back means they dun love u back.
cmon, it's expection, HOPE, that's giving u utter disappointment to tears.
remember that next time. -
thank you guys. All of you are correct, I shouldn't be pushing a good platonic relationship into a love relationship so soon , I am going to slow down my pace ...
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as long as u r sincere, she will feel it. if she doesnt, there will b some1 else out there 4 u. no need 2 do so many things 2 get her. jus b yourself. gd luck bro
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she said "too early" rite?
she didn't say no interest, or no feelings.
so cheer up! just continue wat u are doing and maybe sumthing will happen -
omg , she was back from holidays , went to fetch her , she gave a teddyyy bear for present ....
I swear i am really very happy , very happy ..... -
Originally posted by FaithGuy: omg , she was back from holidays , went to fetch her , she gave a teddyyy bear for present ....
I swear i am really very happy , very happy .....
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claps claps
nice ending to episode 1 to this story.
Let the next episode begin! -
ok bro.. dun screw it this time.. easy does it.Originally posted by FaithGuy: omg , she was back from holidays , went to fetch her , she gave a teddyyy bear for present ....
I swear i am really very happy , very happy .....
i will quote wat i wrote in another AA thread just recently:Originally posted by jOhO:well...
ok.. let me try to be abit more specific.. ahhaha
i never believed in "straight out confession".
i prefer for her to be able to feel my "love" or "like" for her. make it so obvious that she doesn't doubt anything, EXCEPT that she has never heard it from u.
u see.. it goes this way. ur words and actions hint that u like her, but never ever telling her "i like u, pls be my gf".
of course u dun hint her until like first day meet her, next day send 99 roses with a card that says "free for lunch"? altho i must say, sometmies that can work too, but honestly most singaporean girls would be more wary than elated.
so the thing is to slowly hint her, but slow doesn't mean, week 1, do this, week 2, do that. it really depends on situation. but the PROCESS is the same, she suspects, then she reacts, to each "hint" or action. the key is in her REACTION. this is where i guess, experience comes in. a more experienced guy will be able to more accurately interpret her reactions, and act accordingly, by pulling back, or moving forward, untill finally, she is beyond a reasonable doubt that u like her, and REACTING to that knowledge, let's u kiss her, or hold her hand or watever which is what i guess i refer to as the "sealing response": where u know she has accepted u, WITHOUT EVEN HER TELLING U.
notice there was never a communication that "i like u pls be mine"? of course after all this hoo har, by all means, express! she already knows and accepts. singaporean guys find it easy to say "i like u" at the wrong times, and fail to say "i love u" at the right times..
that's why when i say "u make it too easy", she doesn't have to think, she knows u like her (duh!) and her reaction, "not interested" end of story. how are u supposed to interpret that? i mean the only way for u now is to pull back. no more moving forward until u manage to get her back into her "normal position" where she is not sure that u like her anymore.
so practical advise if u really must chase her? simply put, ignore her for a while. regain the "equilibrium". -
What is both yr age?