My life story... So far
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My life story is like a rip off from that of my fave anti-hero Adrian Mole.
Question: I am 23 & ¼ years old. What have I done with my life?
Answer: Nothing
As I was packing my room, I realized I have not acquired a lot in life. I have a decent wardrobe of nice clothing, bought a new Acer notebook last week & just received my diploma from a private university. But deep down I really feel, with every fibre of my beings, like a LOSER.
ACADEMIC
I flunked both my ‘O’ & ‘A’ levels. Let’s take a look at my ‘O’ levels grades first:
‘O” Level Results
Chinese--- A1
English---B3
E Maths---B3
A Maths---C6
Science--- D7
History--- E8
Literature--- A for Absent
Pretty OK results for the first 4 subjects? Unfortunately, I flunked all the remaining subjects. As a result (no puns intended), I could enter neither a JC nor Poly, and ended up in a 3 years Pre-U course. The course felt like eternity & the Principal & teaching staff made me felt like a juvenile delinquent.
My ‘A’ levels were even more impressive. Other than GP & Chinese, I failed all of the 3 ‘A’ levels subjects. This explains why I am in SIM, doing a diploma in management. Despite working very hard, I’ve only managed slightly above average grades for the diploma.
IÂ’m starting the 2nd of the degree course next week & IÂ’m really feeling the jitters after 3 months of carefree despondency.
I could never fathom why I did so disastrously for 2 most of the most significant National exams.
Even amongst the slackest of my peers, most of them scrapped through the ‘O’s & ‘A’s with a minimum “Full Cert” . What scares me is I actually studied hard for these exams. Ok, maybe not barred-no-hold effort, but considerable effort.
I am contemplating a brain scan, but the high cost is putting me off. -
FRIENDS
The umber of friends I have approximate… the umber of fingers on one hand. I’ve not been to a movie or clubbing for almost 3 years, not ‘cos I’ve no money or no time, but simply ‘cos I have no company.
I honestly do mind going to the movie alone (did that many times now), my greatest fear is only those lovey-dovey couples sitting beside me. ArgghhÂ… How I scorn these people!!
I am also deciding if I should terminate my hand phone line. I basically do not get any calls or sms, apart from mom & sporadically official matters ( NKF donations, dubious lucky draw winnings). My good friends calls me only when they need 1) to borrow money 2) Run errands or listen to their problems. Once settled, I will never ever hear from them againÂ…. Until they are in trouble again
As a result of my virtually non-existent social life, my likes & dislikes have also grown distinctly apart from others.
Like:
Monday
Tuesday
Dislike:
Sat
Sun
Public Hols
Valentine **
Christmas **
New Year
Neutral:
Friday
Chinese New Year
Ghost Festival
** such occasions should be scrapped
LOVE
I have an overwhelmingly vexing love life, which suffocates me almost every nite. It all boils down to the problem there is no love at all--- Relationship or Friendship--- in my life; the vacuum is drowning me.
It pains me to think if I would to die today, how few would the turn out for my funeral be. Other than my parents & close relatives, I am saddened that how few frens & ex-lovers may be there. Most of my friends & ex-lovers probably wouldnÂ’t even know, since they have long ceased to contact me.
The prospect of such an embarrassing scenario has kept me from committing suicide
I conclude that I must either have
1) A grotesque, repellant appearance or
2) Some serious character flaws or
3) Psychotic illness ( My psychiatrist says itÂ’s depression, not schizophrenia)
Why do I find it so difficult to have something easily inherent in most people--- finding a decent girlfriend & having a few friends to hang out with -
One word:STRESS
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lots of people become successful in their later years.
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Two roads diverged in a wood, and I -
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference. -
that is very niceOriginally posted by Mystry:Two roads diverged in a wood, and I -
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.
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Heh~.. Im 20, an infamous student, just wondering aimlessly with no direction, no goals in my life..Ur not alone dude~
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Sometimes we just screw up in life. I'm somewhat like you too. And though we cannot go back a make a brand new start, we can start from now and make a brand new ending.I have had a few girlfriends, ironically none had ever existed on Valentine's day.
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doesn't matter whether u are happy or not - life still goes on. that is the bottom line, it was never about you. even if you would to die, the world will still continue to revolve.
state yourself a goal in life, and work steadily towards it. thats all.
didn't you got an above average grade in your diploma? that proves there is still hope. -
it's not just your grades..
i feel that something's amiss. maybe there's something wrong with ur character.. HAHA..
solution: go visit a counsellor.. or do some reflections. find the root of the problems and resolve it from there. =) -
Sounds like Anakin is headin towards d dark side again
Haiz....may d force b wif u
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Hey. come on. why think on the bad side of life?
i'm sure there's something good about your life that you like and are proud of.
cheer up. be more optimistic.
get out there. know more people. take the initiative to meet up with friends and keep in contact with them. if you can't be bothered to take the effort to keep your friends, then you'll end up with little or no friends at all.
you dun have to feel so lonely. all it takes is just some effort to keep your friends.. =) -
After reading your so call sad story just feel like slaping you straight in the face.
So wat ? you get poor result ? You still get into an uni course right? DO you think that a O level or a A level even a dip level result matters when you get an uni degree?
You got so much chance to study and need not work at all and complain so much.
Other people cannot even have the chance to study, they got to work so hard that they wish they had your chance.
So quit saying how bad you are and just work hard.
If you hate holidays so much i suggest you go do some work at the old aged home. At least you can make someone happy rather then complain how bad your life is. -
I think his main problem here is the lack of people in his life. No matter how successful or rich a person is, without people, there is no meaning to life. U have to open up more and start talking to people.
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heheheh... one thing you CAN do though... is write.
perhaps you should concentrate on going what you are good at, rather than struggling to be mediocre at what you don't seem to get the hang of.
I peeped into this post, expecting to be bored - I mean, who wants to read yet another moping, whining life story? Instead it was a pitiless baring of soul tempered by a very funny wry, slightly-bitter, self-mocking humour.
And if you've got a sense if humour, I think you are better equipped than most to handle what's life got in store. Certificates, Cash, Charming Consorts - trust me, they're overrated. With regards to Chums though, I think you need to find new ones. The current ones you have don't seem too reliable.
Just try not to let the bitterness get too seeped in, ya? Like adrian mole, he.. uhh despite other inadequacies - heheh he does have lots of hope. Misplaced or otherwise.
hee. -
I took the same path as you, were you in JI or OI?
Cheer up my good fellow, don't dwell too much on the past, but use it as a platform to remake yourself and find your path. -
yaya...cheer up dude...u'll find ur place soon enuff...try to be more open..like make up conversations or something....also...get a job...something dat may help u interact with people more...trust me it helps...this coming from experienceOriginally posted by LazerLordz:I took the same path as you, were you in JI or OI?
Cheer up my good fellow, don't dwell too much on the past, but use it as a platform to remake yourself and find your path.
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We all operate at different speeds..some fast then slow, some vice-versa.Originally posted by -den-7:yaya...cheer up dude...u'll find ur place soon enuff...try to be more open..like make up conversations or something....also...get a job...something dat may help u interact with people more...trust me it helps...this coming from experience
So you might just hit your vein of form soon. -
like my motto says..
life is a marathon. It may seem long but as long as u take a step forward, u ll get there somehow..
so keep running -
A.J.
Don't be so hard on yourself.
Success is not always measured in the manner you are doing now in terms of material or grades etc. And really, what you do with yourself and your life, is what counts.
Other people will have opinion but its their opinion. What matters is what you want to do with yourself. Its not always important to follow the same academic path as everyone. Being good in school don't mean anything about success in life. -
Originally posted by Anakin Jr:
actually i do agree valentines day should be scrapped it serves no real purpose other than to trick/force pple to spend money needlessly
[b]FRIENDS
The umber of friends I have approximate… the umber of fingers on one hand. I’ve not been to a movie or clubbing for almost 3 years, not ‘cos I’ve no money or no time, but simply ‘cos I have no company.
I honestly do mind going to the movie alone (did that many times now), my greatest fear is only those lovey-dovey couples sitting beside me. ArgghhÂ… How I scorn these people!!
I am also deciding if I should terminate my hand phone line. I basically do not get any calls or sms, apart from mom & sporadically official matters ( NKF donations, dubious lucky draw winnings). My good friends calls me only when they need 1) to borrow money 2) Run errands or listen to their problems. Once settled, I will never ever hear from them againÂ…. Until they are in trouble again
As a result of my virtually non-existent social life, my likes & dislikes have also grown distinctly apart from others.
Like:
Monday
Tuesday
Dislike:
Sat
Sun
Public Hols
Valentine **
Christmas **
New Year
Neutral:
Friday
Chinese New Year
Ghost Festival
** such occasions should be scrapped
LOVE
I have an overwhelmingly vexing love life, which suffocates me almost every nite. It all boils down to the problem there is no love at all--- Relationship or Friendship--- in my life; the vacuum is drowning me.
It pains me to think if I would to die today, how few would the turn out for my funeral be. Other than my parents & close relatives, I am saddened that how few frens & ex-lovers may be there. Most of my friends & ex-lovers probably wouldnÂ’t even know, since they have long ceased to contact me.
The prospect of such an embarrassing scenario has kept me from committing suicide
I conclude that I must either have
1) A grotesque, repellant appearance or
2) Some serious character flaws or
3) Psychotic illness ( My psychiatrist says itÂ’s depression, not schizophrenia)
Why do I find it so difficult to have something easily inherent in most people--- finding a decent girlfriend & having a few friends to hang out with
[/b] -
ah .. and you'd be stoned to death by the girls who want their chocolates and roses...Originally posted by hisoka:actually i do agree valentines day should be scrapped it serves no real purpose other than to trick/force pple to spend money needlessly
Me, I vote to remove that day also
Actually, its getting irritating nowadays, come Thur-Sun. The dating couple would strut around town and give very irritating up-down looks at people like me who like to walk around on my own.
A.J.
Forgot to mention. Its actually your point of view (mental picture if you like of this world) that makes the reality of this world - ie remember matrix? Something like this. Don't believe, go read Emotional Intelligence. If your views are negative, you keep focusing on the negatives ie bad grades and etc. You will see reality all working against you. If you count the things you have, a roof, family, perhaps a better tomorrow, some fun activity to participate. Hey then the positive possibilities are endless. Your mind is the key. It determines a lot of things.
Some people have loads of friend, BF, GF and whatever. Done it all very early. Some people take it slow. Its just is. No one is to blame. I don't have that many friends and I don't feel the need to have. I don't do things to prove anything to the world or myself.
Don't get all depressed over the current state of affairs. Its harder to get out of depression than anything. Anyways, things will pass, you will strive for a better future. And perhaps achieve something you never know you would. -
Anakin Jr, hey...there's nothing bad in your life right now...so don't feel bad about it ok?
You have your education, parents, your health and your sanity. It's nothing wrong to feel this way once in a while...it happens to everyone at least once in a year. Just that you happened to think of it more than once a year.
I can assure you that you're not alone and this is really a cold world you're living in even though you may be the warm one around. The coldness will vastly overcome the little warm that is emitting from you, and that's why you need friends in your world...they warmed up your world.
Of course the warmness of your friends varies from little warm to hot. And there must always be a balance to make sure that your world don't get too cold(not enough friends to warm up your life) or too hot(too much friends liao).
I can tell you that the problem lies within you although I don't know you personally to pinpoint your flaws. And don't waste your money seeing any psychiatrist, they're no good at all. Save those money for those useless consultation sessions to pamper and buy something for yourself, you'll feel happier than going for those consultation sessions.
Since I can't tell you exactly where your fault lies, I could do a quickpick like Toto or 4D. Okies....you have a lot of expectations of yourself and you're feeling bad/worse tha you're not even half as close to your own expectations. And this is getting you down and out. So please lower your expectations of yourself...lower them until you feel normal and better.
How to lower them to make yourself feel better? Well, the traditional way would be to give yourself loads of excuses and blame alot of people for your own situation, but that will make you as scornful as the witches of eastwicks. To do it correctly, you should take a pen and papers, write down your frustrations and expectations so that you can see them clearly and your mind will have an impression of it through your own photographic memories...hahahaha...
After you've done so, start to ask yourself this question "Why am I feeling this way?" - To your frustrations list and "Why am I not achieving it?" - To your expectations list. You will need to answer them by writing them down on the paper and don't care how long the answers are going to be. You must take note of this when you're answering the questions, that is... Do not blame anyone in your answers to those questions in your frustrations and expectations list. *This is important even though it may be harsh*
Once you've accumulated those lengthy answers, summarise them and put those summarised answers for your frustration list as your Personal Goals and expectations list as your Life Goals. Personal Goals are the things that you'll need to learn in order to change yourself. Life Goals are the realistic expectations that you should work towards after achieving your Personal Goals.
Good luck and have more patience in yourself, you won't change in just a day...but you'll see results everyday if you're determined to give it a try. -
yeah got supportterOriginally posted by mistyblue:ah .. and you'd be stoned to death by the girls who want their chocolates and roses...
Me, I vote to remove that day also
Actually, its getting irritating nowadays, come Thur-Sun. The dating couple would strut around town and give very irritating up-down looks at people like me who like to walk around on my own.
A.J.
Forgot to mention. Its actually your point of view (mental picture if you like of this world) that makes the reality of this world - ie remember matrix? Something like this. Don't believe, go read Emotional Intelligence. If your views are negative, you keep focusing on the negatives ie bad grades and etc. You will see reality all working against you. If you count the things you have, a roof, family, perhaps a better tomorrow, some fun activity to participate. Hey then the positive possibilities are endless. Your mind is the key. It determines a lot of things.
Some people have loads of friend, BF, GF and whatever. Done it all very early. Some people take it slow. Its just is. No one is to blame. I don't have that many friends and I don't feel the need to have. I don't do things to prove anything to the world or myself.
Don't get all depressed over the current state of affairs. Its harder to get out of depression than anything. Anyways, things will pass, you will strive for a better future. And perhaps achieve something you never know you would.
i dun mind the giving of the chocolate etc on one day of the year lah but because they fix the day then kena exploited by the greedy merchants who raise their prices exhobitantly for that day very the cheated you know. -
Sure Support! Its exploitative and the inflation rate just for that day can range from 100 to 500%.Originally posted by hisoka:yeah got supportter
i dun mind the giving of the chocolate etc on one day of the year lah but because they fix the day then kena exploited by the greedy merchants who raise their prices exhobitantly for that day very the cheated you know.
Besides, I am a believer and also romantic that one cannot turn on and turn off one's love.
I told my bf don't bother to do anything for that day. Its just too crazy. Besides, the rose will wither and the chocolates will make me fat.. 