Please Help Me..
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This is my first post and has been reading through the posts and thought that maybe the kind friends can help me.
I am 24 this year and my gf is 20. I love her deeply, but the problem is our height problems. You see, I am about 1.9m tall whereas she is about 1.6m. Now, for me, the height difference has never been any problems for me. I love her for whom she is. Even though she has some reservations about the height difference initially, I keep assuring her that it is of no issue at all. We have been going out for the past 6 months.
During these months, we have received stares from the people down the streets, obviously because of the height difference (and the fact that I look very mature, some have commented I look 30+ wheras she looks just her age). Many times, I have tried to camouflague her from this kind of discriminating 'stares'.
But two weeks ago, as we walked past a group of aunties, my gf heard one of them saying "Wah, this couple one so tall and the other so short..haha, like giant and the dwarf..and how come she is holding hands with this uncle?"
Obviously, my gf was so frustrated. I was angry too and wanted to confront them but calmed myself.
I mean..just because I am tall, just because I look more mature for my age, does that mean i have to be an uncle?? Just because we are of vast height difference, do people really have to hurt my gf so so much with all those senseless comments??
I know that if we love each other, we shouldnt be bothered by what people said as we live for ourselves. This is what we have been doing all this while. However, you simply can't ignore this fact nor escape the discriminating stares. No matter how hard we try to ignore these, it will hit you face on everyday.
Friends, sometimes I really lament on the society...but what can we do? Think most probably nothing much..my heart pains when I see my gf's pain.. -
Hv to reassure her ur love for her...gv her more security, pamper her more lor...Get some Heels for her might work..try to do thing to melt her heart..gv her good memories tat wun fade away..
If there is love , everything is alright.
when she angry over those aunties talking, tat may mean she dun wan u to feel inferior also..but also can be she tulan...
Boat reach bridge head auto stright.
Gd Luck. -
1) do not go out
2) slap the person who says that.
3) ask her for his NRIC and addrees and sent yr lawyer letter to her.
4) shout back to aunties " Oi not happy is it ? come fight lar. Ugly people must look at themselves first then say others"
5) call your guys to beat them up.
6) point a finger at the aunty and shout "She is the most darm ugly person you have ever see, Everyone come look !"
7) Block the auntie path and keep scolding her non-stop.
8 ) stare at her, stalk her and cut her up into pieces and dump them in the river. -
But guys,
Just an honest view. What will be in your thoughts when you see a 1.9m guy with his gf who is much shorter? Do you really find it funny? Thanks, just want your views. -
I am also 24. hehe. no worries man!Originally posted by FrustratedGuy78:This is my first post and has been reading through the posts and thought that maybe the kind friends can help me.
I am 24 this year and my gf is 20. I love her deeply, but the problem is our height problems. You see, I am about 1.9m tall whereas she is about 1.6m. Now, for me, the height difference has never been any problems for me. I love her for whom she is. Even though she has some reservations about the height difference initially, I keep assuring her that it is of no issue at all. We have been going out for the past 6 months.
During these months, we have received stares from the people down the streets, obviously because of the height difference (and the fact that I look very mature, some have commented I look 30+ wheras she looks just her age). Many times, I have tried to camouflague her from this kind of discriminating 'stares'.
But two weeks ago, as we walked past a group of aunties, my gf heard one of them saying "Wah, this couple one so tall and the other so short..haha, like giant and the dwarf..and how come she is holding hands with this uncle?"
Obviously, my gf was so frustrated. I was angry too and wanted to confront them but calmed myself.
I mean..just because I am tall, just because I look more mature for my age, does that mean i have to be an uncle?? Just because we are of vast height difference, do people really have to hurt my gf so so much with all those senseless comments??
I know that if we love each other, we shouldnt be bothered by what people said as we live for ourselves. This is what we have been doing all this while. However, you simply can't ignore this fact nor escape the discriminating stares. No matter how hard we try to ignore these, it will hit you face on everyday.
Friends, sometimes I really lament on the society...but what can we do? Think most probably nothing much..my heart pains when I see my gf's pain..
I cant change the way you look but can only help you don look like uncle. serious, no joking!
1) wear light coloured shirt, perferbably mixed coloured, no dark mono-colour polo-tee or t-shirts when you go out. 1 example, the beach shirt, with coconut-trees or the one with the sun..t-shirt from OP should be fine.
2)change your hairstyle, cut shorter, short hair makes one look younger..Armani.
3)your girl might want to wear high heel when you go out?
about you height difference? nothing much you can do, since 190 alreadly cause stares, so no doubt ppl will stare at you and your girl when in places like orchard.
Morover, i know of couples when the girl is taller than guy, so nothing much about your problem. your relationship is only for the you and your girl, who cares about the spectators? anyway you should be use to stares right? take it that they are looking at you.
cheers man! and best wishes. -
like i say, why care about other ppl view? there will be ppl who objects and ppl who don objects.Originally posted by FrustratedGuy78:But guys,
Just an honest view. What will be in your thoughts when you see a 1.9m guy with his gf who is much shorter? Do you really find it funny? Thanks, just want your views.
there is always 2 sides to a coin.so why ask? -
Thanks. But I feel so frustrated when I see my gf hurt. It's not about me or her caring what people think. It's when you walked past, and the stinging words that you hear..you can't simply don't feel affected right?Originally posted by heavenlyfire:like i say, why care about other ppl view? there will be ppl who objects and ppl who don objects.
there is always 2 sides to a coin.so why ask? -
Everyone is curious about things which are not seen everyday. Stuff like people fall down, people will crowd round to see, people quarrel a crowd will gather also. Its the culture in singapore which bought us up this way that we will somehow stare people with weird appreance or features, which is wad people call "kay poh"
In a relationship, you both are together because both of you have feelings for each other and wants to be with eachother all the time. Perhaps before both of you are together, you already know this kinda thing will happen yet you continue. Try to talk to your gf about this and tell her not to think too much about this. People have their mouth and they could say whatever they want, but at the end of the day, it only reflect how inconsiderate and disgustable attitude towards the society.
You cant grow shorter, she cant grow taller, tt's a fact no one can change. Treat it as a obstacle and try to overcome it. No one can help you, you have to overcome it with her yourself. -
u got to clear your own mindset.
It seems that you are the one who is minding the most not her, if not why ask others for options?
As a guy you should lead by example and not mind what others say or do.
If you want to be with her, then you should be strong and steady not sway by some dumbass aunties.
If you cannot overcome such simple things why not then take the easy way out and just break up?
Being a couple is not so easy for many people.
At times even people got tired and wants to give up, but most important is that the two of you must keep the faith in your love for each others. -
crazy.... height difference not that great lah.....
1.9 vs 1.6 is ok and bearable. anyway, u shouldn't take heed of such smal details. as u posted...u guys are in love and tat's wat matters...
grow up, people got worse problems than ht issues.
anyway, aunties and uncles are always like tat.... eye stare stare...choboh wat...so gossip lor... u can't stop them but u can turn a blind ear to their ridiculous comments lah... -
Thanks. But I wish to clarify that I don't mind at all. Because I am the one who initiate to start this relationship despite the fact that I know may meet with some obstacles regarding this height issue. My stance is very clear before and now. Height to me is no obstacle.Originally posted by drx:u got to clear your own mindset.
It seems that you are the one who is minding the most not her, if not why ask others for options?
As a guy you should lead by example and not mind what others say or do.
If you want to be with her you, then you should be strong and steady not sway by some dumbass aunties.
If you cannot overcome such simple things why not then take the easy way out and just break up?
Being a couple is not so easy for many people.
At times even people got tired and wants to give up, but most important is that the two of you must keep the faith in your love for each others.
But the obstacle is the fact that seeing my gf hurt by those unruly comments, just break my heart. Stares, maybe I can still shield her. But hurtful words...stabs her heart. And seeing this, I just feel so much anger inside me towards those people.
Guess, I have to overcome it somehow. Thanks. -
hey, its not like everybody you walk past, they will say something. not everone dared to talk like that, cause they will be dragged to a toilet if they say such thing to me.Originally posted by FrustratedGuy78:Thanks. But I feel so frustrated when I see my gf hurt. It's not about me or her caring what people think. It's when you walked past, and the stinging words that you hear..you can't simply don't feel affected right?
I think that is only one incident you mention. of course, ppl will stare, maybe because of the height difference, or some stare because of your height. you don know. To me, I will also stare at some1 who is 190. so tall!
cheers! no trouble. if your girl really mind, you will have to convince her and change her mindset. otherwise, the relationship will not last. good luck! -
Anger or angry words do no good to the aunties and your relationship.
Lift her up and have a hug and kiss in front of those loud mouths
to show both of you are seriously in love.
They'll be so stunned and speechless.
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Normal reaction is that you'll both look an odd couple. But you'll grow numb to it someday. Just tahan a bit.
My friends were in similiar situation. They are happily married with each other now
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poor soul the fact is u still really care about what others say about you evenOriginally posted by FrustratedGuy78:This is my first post and has been reading through the posts and thought that maybe the kind friends can help me.
I am 24 this year and my gf is 20. I love her deeply, but the problem is our height problems. You see, I am about 1.9m tall whereas she is about 1.6m. Now, for me, the height difference has never been any problems for me. I love her for whom she is. Even though she has some reservations about the height difference initially, I keep assuring her that it is of no issue at all. We have been going out for the past 6 months.
During these months, we have received stares from the people down the streets, obviously because of the height difference (and the fact that I look very mature, some have commented I look 30+ wheras she looks just her age). Many times, I have tried to camouflague her from this kind of discriminating 'stares'.
But two weeks ago, as we walked past a group of aunties, my gf heard one of them saying "Wah, this couple one so tall and the other so short..haha, like giant and the dwarf..and how come she is holding hands with this uncle?"
Obviously, my gf was so frustrated. I was angry too and wanted to confront them but calmed myself.
I mean..just because I am tall, just because I look more mature for my age, does that mean i have to be an uncle?? Just because we are of vast height difference, do people really have to hurt my gf so so much with all those senseless comments??
I know that if we love each other, we shouldnt be bothered by what people said as we live for ourselves. This is what we have been doing all this while. However, you simply can't ignore this fact nor escape the discriminating stares. No matter how hard we try to ignore these, it will hit you face on everyday.
Friends, sometimes I really lament on the society...but what can we do? Think most probably nothing much..my heart pains when I see my gf's pain..
though you know love can overcome everything. This makes me wonder ? Do
you really love your gf? -
im tall as well. So usually when Im out with my gf, I usually slouch or bend my back abit to 'even' the height up. I know its not good for my posture but... u knw.
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You need to have more communications with your gf. Talk about it, assure her. And if you can, joke about it?Originally posted by FrustratedGuy78:Thanks. But I wish to clarify that I don't mind at all. Because I am the one who initiate to start this relationship despite the fact that I know may meet with some obstacles regarding this height issue. My stance is very clear before and now. Height to me is no obstacle.
But the obstacle is the fact that seeing my gf hurt by those unruly comments, just break my heart. Stares, maybe I can still shield her. But hurtful words...stabs her heart. And seeing this, I just feel so much anger inside me towards those people.
Guess, I have to overcome it somehow. Thanks.
Try to change your style of dress sense a bit so that you could look younger. Trust me on this one. Chances are.. It'll work....
Aunties... Uncles... Whatever... People often just have so much to say about each other... It's just a difference of whether you know it, or you don't....?
1. If you can, spend more time together away from the crowds..
2. Spend more time at places where couples are... Because they can understand that you're in love and shape and sizes don't matter...
3. Don't block her view from how people look at you all.. Instead, both of you can just look at each other and just smile it off.. In no time, you should both be getting used to it already...
4. Make more common friends together. Go out with them together and gain acceptance. In that way, it might just make your gf more comfortable with things... -
hm... i think theres basically not much u can do with the society's opinion. Everyone have their views. I dun see the problem of tall and short as long as u love each other.Originally posted by FrustratedGuy78:This is my first post and has been reading through the posts and thought that maybe the kind friends can help me.
I am 24 this year and my gf is 20. I love her deeply, but the problem is our height problems. You see, I am about 1.9m tall whereas she is about 1.6m. Now, for me, the height difference has never been any problems for me. I love her for whom she is. Even though she has some reservations about the height difference initially, I keep assuring her that it is of no issue at all. We have been going out for the past 6 months.
During these months, we have received stares from the people down the streets, obviously because of the height difference (and the fact that I look very mature, some have commented I look 30+ wheras she looks just her age). Many times, I have tried to camouflague her from this kind of discriminating 'stares'.
But two weeks ago, as we walked past a group of aunties, my gf heard one of them saying "Wah, this couple one so tall and the other so short..haha, like giant and the dwarf..and how come she is holding hands with this uncle?"
Obviously, my gf was so frustrated. I was angry too and wanted to confront them but calmed myself.
I mean..just because I am tall, just because I look more mature for my age, does that mean i have to be an uncle?? Just because we are of vast height difference, do people really have to hurt my gf so so much with all those senseless comments??
I know that if we love each other, we shouldnt be bothered by what people said as we live for ourselves. This is what we have been doing all this while. However, you simply can't ignore this fact nor escape the discriminating stares. No matter how hard we try to ignore these, it will hit you face on everyday.
Friends, sometimes I really lament on the society...but what can we do? Think most probably nothing much..my heart pains when I see my gf's pain..
Just reassure ur gf and comfort her whenever shes feeling down. focus on love instead of height. As for the matured thing, i guess u can go for make over or dress differently. -
u nd ppl's opinion to be together?
talk to ur gf about ignoring other ppl's opinions lah... no one is ever perfect, and ppl generally like to pick up the most imperfect things to say... but then again, isn't all this imperfection that make u guys unique... so long as ur comfortable wif who u are, so be it... why bother about the others?
hope that will help to ease ur gf's hurt...