problem is back..
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We were together for 2 to 3yrs... last yr my ex and i broke up.. but later when things calm down.. we got closer again and i had a chance to ask for a patch but i did not as i was waiting for a better timing such tt it would be a gd memory for the both of us. but things got worse.. we quarrelled pretty often, due to lack of understanding tt i am. slowly i contact her lesser.. n eventually drifted apart... so i was thinking abt completing my final yr exam then think abt relationship. stupid me.. she had no one to turn to.. and got to noe a guy.. god noes who? =\ recently we talked again.. n she mention abt this guy. they had communication problem.. which was pretty serious. i asked whether he like her.. she said yes.. den i ask if she likes him.. then she says she did had feeling towards him earlier, but later on no more.. she oso mentioned tt she toked to him becos she wanna help him as he is super lonely. their relationship was quite close. but she noe it is impossible lo. sometimes she was realli sian when tokin.. den dunno wad la tt guy not happi.. she din tell me in details so as to not add problem to me. tt guy oso sort of trying to lock her up.. like she wan go out wif frenz all tt he nt v happi lo.. she added tt tt guy threatened to kill himself.. for dunno wtf reason la.. wad a fuggin' loser
how ar.. how to help her..?
hearing all these from her i was oso feeling damn hurt.. but cannot show my feeling.. arbo i fail as her fren for nt being able to gif her listening ear liao.. haa. sian -
Advise her to keep an appropriate distance from that guy...?Originally posted by Itachi:We were together for 2 to 3yrs... last yr my ex and i broke up.. but later when things calm down.. we got closer again and i had a chance to ask for a patch but i did not as i was waiting for a better timing such tt it would be a gd memory for the both of us. but things got worse.. we quarrelled pretty often, due to lack of understanding tt i am. slowly i contact her lesser.. n eventually drifted apart... so i was thinking abt completing my final yr exam then think abt relationship. stupid me.. she had no one to turn to.. and got to noe a guy.. god noes who? =\ recently we talked again.. n she mention abt this guy. they had communication problem.. which was pretty serious. i asked whether he like her.. she said yes.. den i ask if she likes him.. then she says she did had feeling towards him earlier, but later on no more.. she oso mentioned tt she toked to him becos she wanna help him as he is super lonely. their relationship was quite close. but she noe it is impossible lo. sometimes she was realli sian when tokin.. den dunno wad la tt guy not happi.. she din tell me in details so as to not add problem to me. tt guy oso sort of trying to lock her up.. like she wan go out wif frenz all tt he nt v happi lo.. she added tt tt guy threatened to kill himself.. for dunno wtf reason la.. wad a fuggin' loser
how ar.. how to help her..?
hearing all these from her i was oso feeling damn hurt.. but cannot show my feeling.. arbo i fail as her fren for nt being able to gif her listening ear liao.. haa. sian
Not to ask her to leave him directly, but if one can use death as a threat against another who offer help.. Especially on one whom he / she is interested in, it's certainly unhealthy no matter what... Ultimately, it'll just end as a deadlock. -
You have done your best.
no one will blame u for it.
Sometimes in life there is a few things we had to let go. She had chosen to help the guy and she will have to face his problems. She could have just ignore him but it seems that she cares for him. As a friend you could only advice but not chose what she wants in life.
My advice for you now is to get ready for your final exams. The results of your exams will follow you throughout your life not her. I know is tough for you but I hope you will think for your furture.
I too made the same mistake in taking too much time off to deal with girls. In the end my result was very bad and the girl went away. I was lucky that with my hard work I managed to recover from my mistake. It was not easy and I had to face up to the fact that I had to show my poor result everytime when people ask me for it -
I hereby wish to thank Devil1976 and drx for the advises.. haha.. really appreciate that.
Sometimes thru relationships.. i realised tt i've gain some knowledge or rather grown up unknowingly. Previously i was a weak person who can be emotionally affected quite easily.. now i find tt im managing it better despites some problems. As when i was younger, i had impulsive and violent personality-_-" perhaps if i were tt guy during few yrs back.. i may have done the same crap.. i dunno.. haa.
Just hope that miracle would happen for the 2nd time tt we could be together again.. lol.. by that time i shldn't be as hesitant liao.. hahah. haiz.
Once again.. thank u guys..
Must try hard to get to slp liao.. tml i still got MT Oral Paper.... uh oh.. muahah. nitez -
issit possible for us to be together again..? haa.. jus wondering if there is possible ways..
advice pls! lol -
Anything is quite possible in this world..Originally posted by Itachi:issit possible for us to be together again..? haa.. jus wondering if there is possible ways..
advice pls! lol
For your case, you should review the reason(s) which both of you broke up in the 1st place and see how's the situation like now... Explore the chances and possibility slowly...
But to add... Would be wise to focus on your exams 1st? Just don't let her get too deep into the guy's matters to be engulfed for now..? -
yeah.. quite true.. im finding myself getting out of focus during lesson or test this few days. lol..Originally posted by Devil1976:Anything is quite possible in this world..
For your case, you should review the reason(s) which both of you broke up in the 1st place and see how's the situation like now... Explore the chances and possibility slowly...
But to add... Would be wise to focus on your exams 1st? Just don't let her get too deep into the guy's matters to be engulfed for now..?
i actualli tot of jio-ing her when my exam finishes.. but seems tt it is not as easy as things seems to be.. My screen keeps pop out "HERE COMES A NEW CHALLENGER!!" <-- if u played before Street Fighter style fighting games u shld noe wad i mean.. hahaha.. sigh.. yaa i mean it's quite possible for her to get attach during the period when im preparing for the fuggin paper.. lol.. -
then think about this
if you think about her too much and you fail your paper,
Do you think she will want to be with a failure?
You want fight for her I agree but first make sure u got enough ammo to fight,
By passing your exams and getting to a better school you will increase your chances to fight for her. You will earn more money and got more free time to spend with her.
I lost my girl at that time cos she feels I did not do well for my exam and was not good enough to be seen walking beside her. -
just hope that you will not be sad after reading this but this is how I feel.
If a girl loves you no matter what you do she will still want to be with you.
but if she starts to go out with other guys becomes close with them do you think that she still got you in her heart?
I know you love her but will you still go out with other gals and become close to them if you do not love them? -
At tt time, it's not tt she dun love me.. it was just tt i hurt her too much that she lost faith in me. I did not prioritise the relationship and often chose to go out wif frens instead of her.. damn.. haaz... now im seeing this as a lesson learnt for me. =\Originally posted by drx:just hope that you will not be sad after reading this but this is how I feel.
If a girl loves you no matter what you do she will still want to be with you.
but if she starts to go out with other guys becomes close with them do you think that she still got you in her heart?
I know you love her but will you still go out with other gals and become close to them if you do not love them? -
from what i see, you don have to feel hurt, I read a book(men are from mars, women from venus) It say that men and women always miscommunicated. when women talk about a problem, it doesnt mean she want the guy to help her solve, she just need you to listen, women feel better after thay talk about a problem. Then we "clever man" always come out with solution for her, that is not necessary as deep in her heart, she alreadly have 1. you don believe? ask what she planned to do the next time. she will have an answerOriginally posted by Itachi:We were together for 2 to 3yrs... last yr my ex and i broke up.. but later when things calm down.. we got closer again and i had a chance to ask for a patch but i did not as i was waiting for a better timing such tt it would be a gd memory for the both of us. but things got worse.. we quarrelled pretty often, due to lack of understanding tt i am. slowly i contact her lesser.. n eventually drifted apart... so i was thinking abt completing my final yr exam then think abt relationship. stupid me.. she had no one to turn to.. and got to noe a guy.. god noes who? =\ recently we talked again.. n she mention abt this guy. they had communication problem.. which was pretty serious. i asked whether he like her.. she said yes.. den i ask if she likes him.. then she says she did had feeling towards him earlier, but later on no more.. she oso mentioned tt she toked to him becos she wanna help him as he is super lonely. their relationship was quite close. but she noe it is impossible lo. sometimes she was realli sian when tokin.. den dunno wad la tt guy not happi.. she din tell me in details so as to not add problem to me. tt guy oso sort of trying to lock her up.. like she wan go out wif frenz all tt he nt v happi lo.. she added tt tt guy threatened to kill himself.. for dunno wtf reason la.. wad a fuggin' loser
how ar.. how to help her..?
hearing all these from her i was oso feeling damn hurt.. but cannot show my feeling.. arbo i fail as her fren for nt being able to gif her listening ear liao.. haa. sian -
Challengers are just superficials... It's often not about who they are, but more of where yourself stand...? Especially if she's having lots of suitors, just stay FOCUSED...Originally posted by Itachi:yeah.. quite true.. im finding myself getting out of focus during lesson or test this few days. lol..
i actualli tot of jio-ing her when my exam finishes.. but seems tt it is not as easy as things seems to be.. My screen keeps pop out "HERE COMES A NEW CHALLENGER!!" <-- if u played before Street Fighter style fighting games u shld noe wad i mean.. hahaha.. sigh.. yaa i mean it's quite possible for her to get attach during the period when im preparing for the fuggin paper.. lol..
At the same time, make sure that you don't repeat the same mistakes as above.. And CONVINCE her of that... Then again, PROVIDED that she's even interested in you've changed or not in the 1st place...?Originally posted by Itachi:At tt time, it's not tt she dun love me.. it was just tt i hurt her too much that she lost faith in me. I did not prioritise the relationship and often chose to go out wif frens instead of her.. damn.. haaz... now im seeing this as a lesson learnt for me. =\
Exams 1st... Or you might just end up failing at both ends.... One thing at a time... If it is, it should probably be.... -
aiyah simple lah...ask him to dig her cheebye...Originally posted by Devil1976:At the same time, make sure that you don't repeat the same mistakes as above.. And CONVINCE her of that... Then again, PROVIDED that she's even interested in you've changed or not in the 1st place...?
Exams 1st... Or you might just end up failing at both ends.... One thing at a time... If it is, it should probably be....
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if can be so easy then he will be enjoying himself and not be so trouble over her liao.
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So should i make the move to listen to her or wait for her to find me? if she doesn't finds me then just dun bother about what had happened?Originally posted by heavenlyfire:from what i see, you don have to feel hurt, I read a book(men are from mars, women from venus) It say that men and women always miscommunicated. when women talk about a problem, it doesnt mean she want the guy to help her solve, she just need you to listen, women feel better after thay talk about a problem. Then we "clever man" always come out with solution for her, that is not necessary as deep in her heart, she alreadly have 1. you don believe? ask what she planned to do the next time. she will have an answer