problem
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hi guys i haf another problem, to mani it may seem childish n stupid, but no matter how insensitive this post might be i hope not to get booted or boo-ed at. so heres the problem..
i'm a guy btw. sorry if the story iz kinda long/draggy
since i reached puberty, which was like last year when im goin to be 15. i have been kinda concerned about my looks. well my parents say i'm overly concerned but it's just natural for guys nowadays to gel their hair n style it the way they want before they go out. i don't do that every morning, i mean just whenever i go out, (outside of school) or sometimes when im at home n nothing to do.
now the problem is, i have some weird features. for example, a long face, slightly protruding cheekbones (some say look more manly wif it?) , ears that r sticky out by abit and a head that is not small. hmmm kinda hard to paint a picture using words but i hope some pple here might get the picture. i rely on my hair alot to mask up these " unsightly " features. the side burn makes my ear not so "sticking out", my fringe makes my head look less long, and the hair on the back (when long), doesn't make it look like i have a big balloon on the back of my head. (usually that happens when i cut it short).
therefore, i hate cutting my hair. i don't mind average lenght hair, like for example, normal sideburn, up to school standard fringe, not too long back (but not short either), but the problem is whenever i go to a salon the "hairstylist" always removes EVERYTHING from me. yes, side burn.....back, EVERYTHING. i have visited some here and there, and when they heard i'm still schooling they dare not to leave the hair still average. here i don't mind goin to trim once like every 2-3 weeks, and whats the problem with them? always taking away all my hair every now and then...........so i have come to a conclusion, not to trust these hair stylist anymore.....at least when i'm schooling....
okie so last sunday. becoz my hair have been touching my ear already...my dad insisted i cut it to abide by the school rules. he wanted to trim for me, but then later he denied. saying that i will make a big fuss if he cut wrongly. okie so i took up a pair of scissors and started cutting it MYSELF. and guess what happened? i made a BIG hole at the side of my head....i told myself "damnit".
i was forced to go to a salon and they "tidied" it up. it looked quite ugly to me. i mean i dun even dare to look at the mirror nowadays. my head looks oversized, the cheeks look like some fat asshole (well in my eyes). okie now the problem is, at the side my hair is totally BOTAK. to paint u a picture, image u noe the LIU MANG, u noe those punk type hair where on top leave some hair then side cut until can see skin. now both my sides are like that.......
and to my horror when i heard from one of my teacher that if the dm sees it i have to cut BOTAK, which i won't wan. since my other fren (hu cut botak b4)....told me it took him 2 months to get it up to normal lenght. 2 months is LONG to me. i have functions, parties and sometimes outings to go to. i mean, hu wants to go BOTAK and attract all the attention..? i'm even skeptical about wearing a ca[ now.....i feel so lost..
for the past two days, no one has caught mi yet. i mean, i din come face to face wif the dm, i din even see him. so my plan now is to stall for like 1 1/2 weeks before the side grows back some hair. probably not to the lenght of the hair on top of my height or the usual hair pple haf but at least it wud be black not grey (or from fair, skin color)...
so may i know how long does hair usually take to grow. hmm in inches or cm i dun realli mind. some internet website says a man takes like 1 month to grow half a inch of hair. thats really a long time..i hope my hair grows faster or im one of those that have really hairy heads..
right now life has been miserable. goin around wif a stupid haircut, and might be even get caught ( in the past when my hair was long ,like touch collar i din realli mind since if i looked beta that way i felt that it was like kinda worth it ). but now looking stupid.....might get caught..and somemore the sides to my head are shaved to a different color..it looks weird. but its a better solution ( at least to my perspective) and wait 1 week till the hair colour settles down.....
well so my qns
1) how long does hair normally take to grow..? for guys at 15-16 years of age....the salon auntie told mi 1 week will be sufficient...anyone had such experience, or anyone kept track of how fast hair grows?
2) what shld i do now.
right now my choices are
a) forget about the whole thing n just dun think of it and 2 weeks will just past.
b) go n shave botak, patiently wait 2 months n dun attend anything. mug for exams...go crazy about studies......and "enjoy" the fruits later on.
right now i'm
c) not getting over it, feeling sad. wished i did not make that stupid mistake of cutting the hole. depressed. -
Post a pic of urself so that the ppl here will be able to give u their opinion...
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your post is quite sincere, seldom seen such a long intro for a long time, hence i give my most sincere advise.Originally posted by Scape_Goat_Token:well so my qns
1) how long does hair normally take to grow..? for guys at 15-16 years of age....the salon auntie told mi 1 week will be sufficient...anyone had such experience, or anyone kept track of how fast hair grows?
2) what shld i do now.
right now my choices are
a) forget about the whole thing n just dun think of it and 2 weeks will just past.
b) go n shave botak, patiently wait 2 months n dun attend anything. mug for exams...go crazy about studies......and "enjoy" the fruits later on.
right now i'm
c) not getting over it, feeling sad. wished i did not make that stupid mistake of cutting the hole. depressed.
ppl here have gone through this age, no problem at all. I see that your main problem is hair, since you have alreadly cut it, there is no point brooding over it.
i cant answer your quesion A as you know the answer better than any1 of use here, hair on the average grow 3 cm per month.
As for your answer B, there are always more choices...
you don have to shave botak until you are told to do so, don worry, your friend just frightening you...even if you are caught by DM, bring out your courage, just sincerely explained the situation to him, if not, you can find your form teacher to vouch for your conduct, it is an accident.
and like you say..how can you stop thinking about it for 2 weeks if you are feeling sad all the time, don kid yourself, every house have mirrors..
no point feeling sad now..learn from your accident. just to let your know, most girls like boys with short hair, don believe? ask around..
cheers and stop thinking.. -
Since you only have a small botak patch , I'm pretty sure your school DM will not mind at all. The reason why your school DM picked on your friend was because he shaved his entire hair botak. Unless of course having half botak "hairstyle" is the latest trend in town , then I think you should have no problems with the DM concerning your hair.
Shaving one's own hair was a sign of defiance according to a newspaper report 1-2 years back when a group of guys who were always picked by their school DM for spotting long and unacceptable hair. So much so that they all decided to shave their hair bald to "solve the problem once and for all". Unfortunutely , the school DM saw this is an act of defiance and punished them. When I was in secondary 4 last year , I had a classmate who spotted a skinhead "hairstyle". The school did not have a problem with that but now I was told by a close friend of mine who is currently studying in my secondary school that shaving bald is not allowed.
I think this is stupid because if you are always getting caught for long hair and decide to shave your hair , it only means that you are complying with the school rules by cutting your hair. Isn't shaving somehow similar to cutting? -
It's ok to look ugly once in a while?
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Provided if one can laugh at one ownself, else the brain will think too much and ostracize of oneself sets inOriginally posted by Devil1976:It's ok to look ugly once in a while? -
well thanks everyone for the advice..
well while everyone was typing all these i had to go to school to submit a form, regarding the upcoming camp..
and i gort caught, and i had to kinda shave my whole head. well, not really but i juz had to cut it sooo short, (like the longest is only 1cm-1.5cm long). and the rest is bald. i look bald, or at least the whole head looks hair deprived.
well i think it looks much better. my previous hairstyle looked punkish, that was the reason why de school wun accept it. well i resigned to fate, maybe this is god's punishment for me being "overly concerned" wif my hair and looks. right now i'm putting on my cap whereever i go...it looks strange, feels strange..but dun worry i'll be able to get used to it. haha, anyway at the army i gort to cut botak too right?
either way, thanks and cheers to all those that gave advice, not to mention those that bother to read thru the entire thing. thanks! -
btw if you wanna be special go and shave your head b4 you go army they for some stupid reason dun allow pple to have no hair....Originally posted by Scape_Goat_Token:well thanks everyone for the advice..
well while everyone was typing all these i had to go to school to submit a form, regarding the upcoming camp..
and i gort caught, and i had to kinda shave my whole head. well, not really but i juz had to cut it sooo short, (like the longest is only 1cm-1.5cm long). and the rest is bald. i look bald, or at least the whole head looks hair deprived.
well i think it looks much better. my previous hairstyle looked punkish, that was the reason why de school wun accept it. well i resigned to fate, maybe this is god's punishment for me being "overly concerned" wif my hair and looks. right now i'm putting on my cap whereever i go...it looks strange, feels strange..but dun worry i'll be able to get used to it. haha, anyway at the army i gort to cut botak too right?
either way, thanks and cheers to all those that gave advice, not to mention those that bother to read thru the entire thing. thanks! -
God created each and everyone unique n differently..
Do not let your appearence be the anchor of your life,i am similar like you but i shift the anchor of my life to the lord,and i am living happily now
I was like you before....
More worse....
I stay at home everyday,no life..
After school,i went straight back home..
During recess i never went to the canteen,i stay inside the library or in the classroom alone...
Why live life miserably? -
Originally posted by Scape_Goat_Token:
Being botak would probably be the least of your worries when you're in the army.
haha, anyway at the army i gort to cut botak too right?
Long hair not only takes more time and effort to maintain, but also smells easily in warm climates like that of Singapore. Not many guys look good with long hair, and those who do usually aren't the ones who use the long hair to hide their facial features. So if you already didn't have confidence in your looks, the long hair is just going to make things worse, especially if you're still schooling and may run into discipline problems.
Anyway, glad to hear that you've gotten over the matter. Don't be too self-conscious of your looks -- almost everyone feels insecure at some point while growing up. Why not divert your focus on... (wanted to say "studies", but I'm not your mother)... perfecting your Yu-Gi-Oh! strategies instead? -
BINGO.Originally posted by Scape_Goat_Token:well thanks everyone for the advice..
well while everyone was typing all these i had to go to school to submit a form, regarding the upcoming camp..
and i gort caught, and i had to kinda shave my whole head. well, not really but i juz had to cut it sooo short, (like the longest is only 1cm-1.5cm long). and the rest is bald. i look bald, or at least the whole head looks hair deprived.
well i think it looks much better. my previous hairstyle looked punkish, that was the reason why de school wun accept it. well i resigned to fate, maybe this is god's punishment for me being "overly concerned" wif my hair and looks. right now i'm putting on my cap whereever i go...it looks strange, feels strange..but dun worry i'll be able to get used to it. haha, anyway at the army i gort to cut botak too right?
either way, thanks and cheers to all those that gave advice, not to mention those that bother to read thru the entire thing. thanks! -
Sooner or later, one would just have to accept that in life. Whether you like it or you don't. Whether you take it easy on yourself or rather be 'miserable' or be filled with moments of 'frustrations'.Originally posted by sgboy2004:Provided if one can laugh at one ownself, else the brain will think too much and ostracize of oneself sets in
Except that this gentleman here is young. Hence perhaps mentality wise is still not quite there yet.. Difficult to blame him also because his peers around his age would probably be sharing that kinda mentality all over... -
yesterday i managed to calm down..
but today when i woke up the first thing my hand reached for was my head. i was hopin to wake up from a bad dream and feel back my precious hair on my head. but to my horror ( and dismay) i found nothing but spikey little points of hair.......i dun realli understand how come i gort over it yesterday but the pain came back today..
school was bad. everyone was making comments on how stupid it looked. even though there were some positive ones here n there but i dun even noe if they were supposed to be sarcasm. well since i dun noe, well why bother? and everytime i touch the little points on my hair, stare in a reflecton (let it b a mirror or just a glass panel ) i will start to feel the negative effects of "self-talk"
i start telling myself..
omg i look so ugly now. den i start to think, " how long have it been? " , den my brain replies " 1 DAY "...den i start goin thru what everyone tell mi about how long their botak head takes to grow. ( some pple i know cut botak ), one guy told mi 3 weeks, another told mi 2 months. i was kinda confused, cant get a direct answer. well i think hair varies from person to person, im not even sure about my hair growth rate. but all i know is that only ONE day has passed. and my brain goes thru these series of thoughts like almost a hundred times in school today ( note i stayed till 4+ so it was like almost the whole day ).
den i start feeling pissed off thinking of " how am i goin to go there, go here " with this bald head? den thinking like, how am i gonna face people whom i realli wanna make a good impression..? i'm like lost in my own depressing thoughts, i feel so frustrated.
den somehow, the cycle ends. with some "positive self-talk". like trying to console myself. i'm not sure how it happens but i manage to get it out of my mind with stuff like " hey anyway theres OBS 2 weeks later being bald is advantagous..", or " i'm just trying a new fashion, no harm bahx "....
den like another 1 1/2 hour or so the cycle repeats itself....it hurts, den soothes it..like a wave of patterns....n this thing has been on my mind in school for the whole day..
i hope within a few days it'll stop, or i'll get used to it. if it grows 3 cm per month, den probably within a month i'll probably haf some hair on my head....
i know all the advice are already stated here.....i'm just ranting, so hope u guys dun mind. haix -
With that kinda mentaity you're having now....? Probably won't be able to make any good impression... Impression you leave on others don't only come physically... It can also come from within....Originally posted by Scape_Goat_Token:yesterday i managed to calm down..
but today when i woke up the first thing my hand reached for was my head. i was hopin to wake up from a bad dream and feel back my precious hair on my head. but to my horror ( and dismay) i found nothing but spikey little points of hair.......i dun realli understand how come i gort over it yesterday but the pain came back today..
school was bad. everyone was making comments on how stupid it looked. even though there were some positive ones here n there but i dun even noe if they were supposed to be sarcasm. well since i dun noe, well why bother? and everytime i touch the little points on my hair, stare in a reflecton (let it b a mirror or just a glass panel ) i will start to feel the negative effects of "self-talk"
i start telling myself..
omg i look so ugly now. den i start to think, " how long have it been? " , den my brain replies " 1 DAY "...den i start goin thru what everyone tell mi about how long their botak head takes to grow. ( some pple i know cut botak ), one guy told mi 3 weeks, another told mi 2 months. i was kinda confused, cant get a direct answer. well i think hair varies from person to person, im not even sure about my hair growth rate. but all i know is that only ONE day has passed. and my brain goes thru these series of thoughts like almost a hundred times in school today ( note i stayed till 4+ so it was like almost the whole day ).
den i start feeling pissed off thinking of " how am i goin to go there, go here " with this bald head? den thinking like, how am i gonna face people whom i realli wanna make a good impression..? i'm like lost in my own depressing thoughts, i feel so frustrated.
den somehow, the cycle ends. with some "positive self-talk". like trying to console myself. i'm not sure how it happens but i manage to get it out of my mind with stuff like " hey anyway theres OBS 2 weeks later being bald is advantagous..", or " i'm just trying a new fashion, no harm bahx "....
den like another 1 1/2 hour or so the cycle repeats itself....it hurts, den soothes it..like a wave of patterns....n this thing has been on my mind in school for the whole day..
i hope within a few days it'll stop, or i'll get used to it. if it grows 3 cm per month, den probably within a month i'll probably haf some hair on my head....
i know all the advice are already stated here.....i'm just ranting, so hope u guys dun mind. haix -
i think u need to give the hairstylist clearer instructions on what to do with your hair...i dun think they will simply cut everything away........u need to air ur opinions more
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looks like your main problem is attachment...to your hair and it causes suffering...
try to detach yourself from externalities...likes hair, looks, fame and others...no total detach..but try not to take these things too seriously, after all "all acts are transcient"
but it is never wrong to love yourself..
cheers..time will fly
before you know it, its back -
u know what is this guy's weakness? its not his outlook and appearance...its his self esteem.
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hey wait what does this have to do with self esteem..? no one has ever said that i have low self esteem, but whats wrong wif feeling down when you dun look like what you used to be..? i mean, there are people that look very different with different hairstyles. take for example, i bet if you take one stranger with very long hair and then shave him bald. show you the before and after, it's sometimes kinda hard to believe that they are the same person..
a person's image, looks can be changed by the hair, soley the hair. of coz, one must find a hairstyle to suit their personal facial features. which i believed r found by some trial and error and some time infront of mirrors.
i dun think i haf a problem with self esteem, i mean i'm just having no confidence with this haircut. i mean it looks stupid, i admit to the fact. thats it. what has this gort to do with self esteem?
weakness? yes probably till my hair grows back i will feel kinda weak and no confidence whereever i go, but by saying i have a weakness with self esteem is kinda passive. how do you know if i also haf no confidence when i haf hair on my head?
sorry i became abit too anxious to defend myself.
again, thanks everyone for their advices. my hair has been doin fine. today's the fifth day. the fringe has already grown 1 cm and the sides look more black now, the skin colour isn't that visible anymore. -
Shave your head bals and be a monk. Problem is solvedOriginally posted by Scape_Goat_Token:hi guys i haf another problem, to mani it may seem childish n stupid, but no matter how insensitive this post might be i hope not to get booted or boo-ed at. so heres the problem..
i'm a guy btw. sorry if the story iz kinda long/draggy
since i reached puberty, which was like last year when im goin to be 15. i have been kinda concerned about my looks. well my parents say i'm overly concerned but it's just natural for guys nowadays to gel their hair n style it the way they want before they go out. i don't do that every morning, i mean just whenever i go out, (outside of school) or sometimes when im at home n nothing to do.
now the problem is, i have some weird features. for example, a long face, slightly protruding cheekbones (some say look more manly wif it?) , ears that r sticky out by abit and a head that is not small. hmmm kinda hard to paint a picture using words but i hope some pple here might get the picture. i rely on my hair alot to mask up these " unsightly " features. the side burn makes my ear not so "sticking out", my fringe makes my head look less long, and the hair on the back (when long), doesn't make it look like i have a big balloon on the back of my head. (usually that happens when i cut it short).
therefore, i hate cutting my hair. i don't mind average lenght hair, like for example, normal sideburn, up to school standard fringe, not too long back (but not short either), but the problem is whenever i go to a salon the "hairstylist" always removes EVERYTHING from me. yes, side burn.....back, EVERYTHING. i have visited some here and there, and when they heard i'm still schooling they dare not to leave the hair still average. here i don't mind goin to trim once like every 2-3 weeks, and whats the problem with them? always taking away all my hair every now and then...........so i have come to a conclusion, not to trust these hair stylist anymore.....at least when i'm schooling....
okie so last sunday. becoz my hair have been touching my ear already...my dad insisted i cut it to abide by the school rules. he wanted to trim for me, but then later he denied. saying that i will make a big fuss if he cut wrongly. okie so i took up a pair of scissors and started cutting it MYSELF. and guess what happened? i made a BIG hole at the side of my head....i told myself "damnit".
i was forced to go to a salon and they "tidied" it up. it looked quite ugly to me. i mean i dun even dare to look at the mirror nowadays. my head looks oversized, the cheeks look like some fat asshole (well in my eyes). okie now the problem is, at the side my hair is totally BOTAK. to paint u a picture, image u noe the LIU MANG, u noe those punk type hair where on top leave some hair then side cut until can see skin. now both my sides are like that.......
and to my horror when i heard from one of my teacher that if the dm sees it i have to cut BOTAK, which i won't wan. since my other fren (hu cut botak b4)....told me it took him 2 months to get it up to normal lenght. 2 months is LONG to me. i have functions, parties and sometimes outings to go to. i mean, hu wants to go BOTAK and attract all the attention..? i'm even skeptical about wearing a ca[ now.....i feel so lost..
for the past two days, no one has caught mi yet. i mean, i din come face to face wif the dm, i din even see him. so my plan now is to stall for like 1 1/2 weeks before the side grows back some hair. probably not to the lenght of the hair on top of my height or the usual hair pple haf but at least it wud be black not grey (or from fair, skin color)...
so may i know how long does hair usually take to grow. hmm in inches or cm i dun realli mind. some internet website says a man takes like 1 month to grow half a inch of hair. thats really a long time..i hope my hair grows faster or im one of those that have really hairy heads..
right now life has been miserable. goin around wif a stupid haircut, and might be even get caught ( in the past when my hair was long ,like touch collar i din realli mind since if i looked beta that way i felt that it was like kinda worth it ). but now looking stupid.....might get caught..and somemore the sides to my head are shaved to a different color..it looks weird. but its a better solution ( at least to my perspective) and wait 1 week till the hair colour settles down.....
well so my qns
1) how long does hair normally take to grow..? for guys at 15-16 years of age....the salon auntie told mi 1 week will be sufficient...anyone had such experience, or anyone kept track of how fast hair grows?
2) what shld i do now.
right now my choices are
a) forget about the whole thing n just dun think of it and 2 weeks will just past.
b) go n shave botak, patiently wait 2 months n dun attend anything. mug for exams...go crazy about studies......and "enjoy" the fruits later on.
right now i'm
c) not getting over it, feeling sad. wished i did not make that stupid mistake of cutting the hole. depressed.