Career or woman?
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seems like more replies for this thread is for guys.... can i throw in my point of view as a woman?
hmm... probably i would think very much like some of u guys who've mentioned that career come first... personally, i'm a very ambitious woman... i have my own dreams, and i had chose to let love pass mi by becoz i dun need a relationship to reach my goals... perhaps, oneday, when i've achieved my dreams, dan i wil consider love... so, its always career first than love...
guys, think of it as a want or a need to haf love now?? its like buying a car... do u need a car or u want a car?? i know of this friend who told mi that he is paying for his gf's car becoz she needs the car more than him... u get what i mean? having him in his gf's career would not be of much help to her in pursuing what she need in life to survive... -
I believe love and career can coexist if you can find a balance between your work and love life. Honestly I do believe that if you find the right partner, he or she will actually help to motivate you, instead of holding you back.Originally posted by carpe diem jur:seems like more replies for this thread is for guys.... can i throw in my point of view as a woman?
hmm... probably i would think very much like some of u guys who've mentioned that career come first... personally, i'm a very ambitious woman... i have my own dreams, and i had chose to let love pass mi by becoz i dun need a relationship to reach my goals... perhaps, oneday, when i've achieved my dreams, dan i wil consider love... so, its always career first than love...
guys, think of it as a want or a need to haf love now?? its like buying a car... do u need a car or u want a car?? i know of this friend who told mi that he is paying for his gf's car becoz she needs the car more than him... u get what i mean? having him in his gf's career would not be of much help to her in pursuing what she need in life to survive...
There is always a saying that behind every successful man there is always a capable women. -
Both..Better to multi task..
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Hi Carpe Diem Jur,
I beg to differ. Before you get upset, let me say, please don't be. It's a matter of choice. You chose to put career before love, because your priorities are Not the same as mine. Perhaps you feel that things will always be there, whereas there's a risk that love will fade or your heart will be shattered, the way a Baccarat crystal shatters when dropped?
My priorities in life are different, I guess. I won't deny that career is very important to me, & that I work hard in return for a stable job, & enough income to afford things. However, the income goes towards
treats for my family. My friends always tell me that I should "invest" in decent designer bags, shoes, clothes, car, etc. I chose Not to. I DO have designer bags, but I don't buy compulsively. Instead, the things I choose to spend my $ on, bring intangible rewards. The smile on Dad's face when I wanna buy him the best kinda dinner I can afford, the smile on my guy's face when I surprise him flowers (yes, flowers) & a bottle of wine for both of us to share.
Love, laughter, & making those people I love deeply smile bring me indescribable joy, the kind that designer things can't bring. Sure, I'll feel good buying all these things, but the intangible rewards I get from splurging on loved ones instead make my life fulfilled.
My guy means everything to me, & I to him. This knowledge makes it easy to focus on my career, because I know there's someone to talk about my day with (of course, I DO share with my family, but it's still different), whom I can relax with, etc.
As I said, you made your choice, & perhaps you're happy the way you are. I respect that. However, to me, career whilst important, can't take the place of the intangible rewards I get with love. Without love, my life would be empty.
FeowFeowOriginally posted by carpe diem jur:seems like more replies for this thread is for guys.... can i throw in my point of view as a woman?
hmm... probably i would think very much like some of u guys who've mentioned that career come first... personally, i'm a very ambitious woman... i have my own dreams, and i had chose to let love pass mi by becoz i dun need a relationship to reach my goals... perhaps, oneday, when i've achieved my dreams, dan i wil consider love... so, its always career first than love...
guys, think of it as a want or a need to haf love now?? its like buying a car... do u need a car or u want a car?? i know of this friend who told mi that he is paying for his gf's car becoz she needs the car more than him... u get what i mean? having him in his gf's career would not be of much help to her in pursuing what she need in life to survive... -
hi feowfeow,Originally posted by FeowFeow:Hi Carpe Diem Jur,
I beg to differ. Before you get upset, let me say, please don't be. It's a matter of choice. You chose to put career before love, because your priorities are Not the same as mine. Perhaps you feel that things will always be there, whereas there's a risk that love will fade or your heart will be shattered, the way a Baccarat crystal shatters when dropped?
My priorities in life are different, I guess. I won't deny that career is very important to me, & that I work hard in return for a stable job, & enough income to afford things. However, the income goes towards treats for my family. My friends always tell me that I should "invest" in decent designer bags, shoes, clothes, car, etc. I chose Not to. I DO have designer bags, but I don't buy compulsively. Instead, the things I choose to spend my $ on, bring intangible rewards. The smile on Dad's face when I wanna buy him the best kinda dinner I can afford, the smile on my guy's face when I surprise him flowers (yes, flowers) & a bottle of wine for both of us to share.
Love, laughter, & making those people I love deeply smile bring me indescribable joy, the kind that designer things can't bring. Sure, I'll feel good buying all these things, but the intangible rewards I get from splurging on loved ones instead make my life fulfilled.
My guy means everything to me, & I to him. This knowledge makes it easy to focus on my career, because I know there's someone to talk about my day with (of course, I DO share with my family, but it's still different), whom I can relax with, etc.
As I said, you made your choice, & perhaps you're happy the way you are. I respect that. However, to me, career whilst important, can't take the place of the intangible rewards I get with love. Without love, my life would be empty.
FeowFeow
thankx ya... hmm...i'm happy pursuing my dreams... love as in family and friends, though i cherish very much, but i'd gif up anything for my career... maybe i'm selfish in some way, but other dan to fulfil my own dreams, my purpose in life is also to gif my parents a gud life... to mi, my parents and friends are more dan enuff...
but sometyms we have to do the bad things to reach to guds ones... regardless of my parents objection, i am still very persistent to go taiwan next year... the fact that i'm no longer coming back stressed them out... i told them, i'll never leave u two in spore.. wait for my success, i'll bring u over to enjoy gud life... and i really mean it... i came from a poor family, so having gud life to them is impossible... i never wanna see them slog like hell for survival, so i'll gif them what ever they want... i'm juz afraid, wat if i'm too late...??
we are kinda different in a way that we both choose a different method to love a person, but eventually it all still comes down to love... to mi, my career muz be something that i love to do... who doesnt wish for that?? but wishes never come true, u juz gotta do it... if one day, all else fails, i might come back here telling u a different story... for now, career will be my all...
as for bgr, many are lucky in love... u are a lucky soul too... i've never been but that is not an important factor to all my decisions and life... all i can say for this is, i do admit i cannot handle it, but even if i do, it is gotta affect my career...
hahar !! long story hor... juz my personal point of view ya.. i dun stereotype guys or whatsoever... dun get mi wrong... hee hee..
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Hi Carpe : )
1st of all, I hope you don't mind me shortening your nick like that
Actually, I'm glad when different people view different opinions. Afterall, there's No right nor wrong. As long as we agree to disagree, & we accept that different people make different choices & have different priorities, it's actually quite interesting to share different views, don't you think? 
Yes, both of us have different methods when it comes to showing love, reasons stemming from different family backgrounds, situations, & circumstances. I can empathise with your situation, & difficult as it may seem to you, I can understand why you chose the way you chose.
However, since you love your parents so much, would you really want to hurt them by going so far away? I know I can't, & hence I gave up a pretty good job opportunity in Hawaii to come back here. I'm closest to Dad, & I can just about see the other family members cry, but the moment Dad's eyes redden, it makes my damn heart break.
If you ask me now whether I regret my decision to give up that career breakthrough opportunity, I would say a little (although I was fuming mad at myself then ). But when I look at Dad's big smile whenever I bring him out for treats, I kinda forget my regrets. Afterall, I have a job I like, & it pays decent $, so I'm satisfied already
FeowFeowOriginally posted by carpe diem jur:hi feowfeow,
thankx ya... hmm...i'm happy pursuing my dreams... love as in family and friends, though i cherish very much, but i'd gif up anything for my career... maybe i'm selfish in some way, but other dan to fulfil my own dreams, my purpose in life is also to gif my parents a gud life... to mi, my parents and friends are more dan enuff...
but sometyms we have to do the bad things to reach to guds ones... regardless of my parents objection, i am still very persistent to go taiwan next year... the fact that i'm no longer coming back stressed them out... i told them, i'll never leave u two in spore.. wait for my success, i'll bring u over to enjoy gud life... and i really mean it... i came from a poor family, so having gud life to them is impossible... i never wanna see them slog like hell for survival, so i'll gif them what ever they want... i'm juz afraid, wat if i'm too late...??
we are kinda different in a way that we both choose a different method to love a person, but eventually it all still comes down to love... to mi, my career muz be something that i love to do... who doesnt wish for that?? but wishes never come true, u juz gotta do it... if one day, all else fails, i might come back here telling u a different story... for now, career will be my all...
as for bgr, many are lucky in love... u are a lucky soul too... i've never been but that is not an important factor to all my decisions and life... all i can say for this is, i do admit i cannot handle it, but even if i do, it is gotta affect my career...
hahar !! long story hor... juz my personal point of view ya.. i dun stereotype guys or whatsoever... dun get mi wrong... hee hee.. -
Direct answer to your thread topic
:: You can have a career and lots of women
:: But you may not find love in any of them.
Cheers -
feowfeow... ooh u almost made mi cry.. coz as u mentioned about ur dad's eye redden, i was picturing my dad too... but the way my parents are slogging now is unbearable too...Originally posted by FeowFeow:Hi Carpe : )
1st of all, I hope you don't mind me shortening your nick like that Actually, I'm glad when different people view different opinions. Afterall, there's No right nor wrong. As long as we agree to disagree, & we accept that different people make different choices & have different priorities, it's actually quite interesting to share different views, don't you think?
Yes, both of us have different methods when it comes to showing love, reasons stemming from different family backgrounds, situations, & circumstances. I can empathise with your situation, & difficult as it may seem to you, I can understand why you chose the way you chose.
However, since you love your parents so much, would you really want to hurt them by going so far away? I know I can't, & hence I gave up a pretty good job opportunity in Hawaii to come back here. I'm closest to Dad, & I can just about see the other family members cry, but the moment Dad's eyes redden, it makes my damn heart break.
If you ask me now whether I regret my decision to give up that career breakthrough opportunity, I would say a little (although I was fuming mad at myself then ). But when I look at Dad's big smile whenever I bring him out for treats, I kinda forget my regrets. Afterall, I have a job I like, & it pays decent $, so I'm satisfied already
FeowFeow
there was a period of time when i was having a stressing time deciding on this coz i gotta apply for the taiwan university already and my parents stil very angry and upset... i asked myself what if i give up taiwan now?? i spend almost a week crying over this and my friends asked mi, if i dun go, what i wanna do in spore? and my reply is "i really dunno."...
feowfeow, i finally realise that i cannot give up on something i think about it every min of the day... and music is my all, career is my life, taiwan is my dream.... and my parents, they are my love... how to choose???! and my friends asked again after my decision, "what if u go and before u suceed ur parents left u already?" yes, i'm gotta regret for a lifetym... look, losing my dream, i'll regret... losing my parents, i'll regret too... there can never be a clear definition of which is the best choice to make... -
Hi Carpe,
Poor girl *hugz* Now I understand also why you're so focused on career, you're still in uni! I really emphathise with you.
Well, if you've thought long & hard about this, & you have balanced the price you have to pay versus the gains you'll receive, then go for your dreams. Afterall, you have 1 life, & you choose how to lead it.
My best wishes to you And may you succeed in your career.
FeowFeowOriginally posted by carpe diem jur:feowfeow... ooh u almost made mi cry.. coz as u mentioned about ur dad's eye redden, i was picturing my dad too... but the way my parents are slogging now is unbearable too...
there was a period of time when i was having a stressing time deciding on this coz i gotta apply for the taiwan university already and my parents stil very angry and upset... i asked myself what if i give up taiwan now?? i spend almost a week crying over this and my friends asked mi, if i dun go, what i wanna do in spore? and my reply is "i really dunno."...
feowfeow, i finally realise that i cannot give up on something i think about it every min of the day... and music is my all, career is my life, taiwan is my dream.... and my parents, they are my love... how to choose???! and my friends asked again after my decision, "what if u go and before u suceed ur parents left u already?" yes, i'm gotta regret for a lifetym... look, losing my dream, i'll regret... losing my parents, i'll regret too... there can never be a clear definition of which is the best choice to make... -
I will choose woman. Some people live to work while I work to live. Life is too short for such trivial matters.
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Hmm.. I think can co-exist, if you really like someone (i.e if you already have someone in your life) I guess you would want to work hard in ur career for her so that you could give her a better life ahead...
However, if this issue need to make only a choice and not both, i guess it depends on which choice would make you happier. Some would have to have someone by their side the share their joys and sorrows... Some have dreams and goals in life where they want to be someone up there... (",) ... -
You going over to be a singer?Originally posted by carpe diem jur:feowfeow... ooh u almost made mi cry.. coz as u mentioned about ur dad's eye redden, i was picturing my dad too... but the way my parents are slogging now is unbearable too...
there was a period of time when i was having a stressing time deciding on this coz i gotta apply for the taiwan university already and my parents stil very angry and upset... i asked myself what if i give up taiwan now?? i spend almost a week crying over this and my friends asked mi, if i dun go, what i wanna do in spore? and my reply is "i really dunno."...
feowfeow, i finally realise that i cannot give up on something i think about it every min of the day... and music is my all, career is my life, taiwan is my dream.... and my parents, they are my love... how to choose???! and my friends asked again after my decision, "what if u go and before u suceed ur parents left u already?" yes, i'm gotta regret for a lifetym... look, losing my dream, i'll regret... losing my parents, i'll regret too... there can never be a clear definition of which is the best choice to make...
P.S: It's a good dream, but do exercise some caution regarding the person/s involved to market you. (yunhaier worked in this industry before - just a some little words from me).
Cheers -
Originally posted by soulness:normally if a guy troubled, we say taht there are only 2 possibilities
its either regarding (i)career/money or (ii)woman/relationship
so which one do u think is more important to u? why?
one of my fren once told me that guy can only be troubled by career matters not girls.. if ur gfs/wives is givng u problem then its an indication that the relationship is not healthy. in order not to allow it to afffect ur career, u shld come out of the relationship and proceed to the next girl..
sound abit mcp right? haha well wat u ppl think? share some of ur thougth here pls
both also need... both are equally important..
u need career to provide the bread n butter, and u need ur woman to help build a family to provide emotional support... but the thing is that things will not always be smooth all the time... unless ur woman becomes unfaithful/berserk/crazy/mentally unsound, i think all prob can be sorted out if u genuinely want to...
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dear feowfeow,Originally posted by FeowFeow:Hi Carpe,
Poor girl *hugz* Now I understand also why you're so focused on career, you're still in uni! I really emphathise with you.
Well, if you've thought long & hard about this, & you have balanced the price you have to pay versus the gains you'll receive, then go for your dreams. Afterall, you have 1 life, & you choose how to lead it.
My best wishes to you And may you succeed in your career.
FeowFeow
thankx alot for encouragement... i've once almost gave it up for love in the past and it was after that i've realised how i should weight the worth of what i need to do in my life... yeah, firm on this and even if i were to fail badly, many tries and i stil did not suceed, i will not regret my decision now... like what u've said, i only have one life and i gotta live it for myself ya...
thank you once again.. and best wishes to u and ur love ones !! -
ooh no lah.. hahar !! i'm doing recordings, producing and composing... more of an audio engineer doing studio recordings for bands and artist...Originally posted by Yunhaier:You going over to be a singer?
P.S: It's a good dream, but do exercise some caution regarding the person/s involved to market you. (yunhaier worked in this industry before - just a some little words from me).
Cheers
and thank Q for encouragement too !!
yunhaier ever in this industry as a singer or ??? -
Originally posted by carpe diem jur:ooh no lah.. hahar !! i'm doing recordings, producing and composing... more of an audio engineer doing studio recordings for bands and artist...
and thank Q for encouragement too !!
yunhaier ever in this industry as a singer or ??? Not singing lar... hahahhahaha.
I once worked in a music school dealing with chinese pop (not going to reveal name), working as events/marketing.
But since its audio engineers, shouldn't be too much of a risk. I know of singer-dream wannabes kanna deceived in many ways. Even aspiring models as well. The entertainment industry is pretty screwed up anyway, not exactly surprising.
P.S: Hmm.. maybe I might need audio engineering assistance in the future?
Cheers -
though isnt risk to take, but a risky career to choose... in this whole wide world, not much female audio engineers made it in the industry... and not to mention female producers... life expectancy in the music industry is short-lived... u may have made a few great albums or records that have could make u famous overnyt and non-stop ringing assignments coming up for u, but how long are one survive in this industry when u have passed 40yrs old? i wun mention too much into this as its out of topic... but see, it is truly short-lived...Originally posted by Yunhaier: Not singing lar... hahahhahaha.
I once worked in a music school dealing with chinese pop (not going to reveal name), working as events/marketing.
But since its audio engineers, shouldn't be too much of a risk. I know of singer-dream wannabes kanna deceived in many ways. Even aspiring models as well. The entertainment industry is pretty screwed up anyway, not exactly surprising.
P.S: Hmm.. maybe I might need audio engineering assistance in the future?
Cheers -
In what sense? Care to tell us more?Originally posted by Yunhaier: Not singing lar... hahahhahaha.
I once worked in a music school dealing with chinese pop (not going to reveal name), working as events/marketing.
But since its audio engineers, shouldn't be too much of a risk. I know of singer-dream wannabes kanna deceived in many ways. Even aspiring models as well. The entertainment industry is pretty screwed up anyway, not exactly surprising.
P.S: Hmm.. maybe I might need audio engineering assistance in the future?
Cheers -
you can change gfs/wives/relationships but you cannot the problems.Originally posted by soulness:one of my fren once told me that guy can only be troubled by career matters not girls.. if ur gfs/wives is givng u problem then its an indication that the relationship is not healthy. in order not to allow it to afffect ur career, u shld come out of the relationship and proceed to the next girl..
you move on... sometimes got the same problems... becoz you behave the same way, you get the same problems also.
got problems - have to work it out first...
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can...the female singer gave away her cheebye to the music producer thinking she will receive a ritz-carlton kind of life but instead landed in the geylang gutter as reward...Originally posted by Devil1976:In what sense? Care to tell us more? -
Erm... no comments... not here at least. Till the next time I see you bah.Originally posted by Devil1976:In what sense? Care to tell us more?
Cheers -
Sure.Originally posted by Yunhaier:Erm... no comments... not here at least. Till the next time I see you bah.
Cheers
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i must also say that the below highlighted is soooo true. therefore to all those men who think money is everything - have fun with your gold digger.
Originally posted by Yunhaier:
Because 'poor guys' are poor, they make-up for the lack of wealth by being more loving and all positive aspects in a relationship, while those who revel in overly-materialistic views on love tends to [b]substitute wealth for love, affection and all positive aspects in a relationship. (A rich guy probably have no qualms about spending big money to buy expensive gifts, treats and such - but is every girl looking for such extravagant enjoyment? Taurus, Capricorn and Virgo probably yes. And having a scenario to say sorry probably equal to a Tiffany ring, flowers and everything. Meaningless when you substitute material things for behavior and actions that needs no pricetag. It's definitely a useful tool, but guy with wealth tends to depend on it so much, that it will have declining impact with more similar usage).
[/b] -
Went in and saw an old man, indulgent smile on his face and arms wrapped around two sweet young things, singing away a tuneless ditty with a full wine glass in front of him:
"No money? *hic* No honey.
No honey? *hic* Pay money."
Went out and saw another old man all curled up, disheveled hair covering his face and arms hugging tightly both his knees, sleeping on the sidewalk with an empty rusted tin can beside him.
Some see the pointlessness of money from the old man inside;
Some see the usefulness of money from the old man outside. -
The answer to this question is another question:
Do you work to live or live to work?
When you've got that, then you've got your answer.