Contemplating a break up
-
My GF and I patch up after not seeing her for almost 11 months...
I was happy intially that I am seeing her almost everyday again... but somehow I just feel she do not love me ... the betrayal hurts as well (she was seeing some other guy during those 11 mths ...)
I missed her so badly but now she is back ... I feel like initating a break up i dunno y.... just feel that her heart is not with me ba ... wat the point of being togehter... guess the intensity is not there anymore
Of cos if I were to break up... I will fall into the misery of loneliness... I suppose I can concentrate on improvign myself and getting a new job and maybe a new gf may just come along... who knows
I still love her and I will be sad to leave her but I feel if we go on it will be worse ba given I could never meet her expectations and needs -
I was happy intially that I am seeing her almost everyday again... but somehow I just feel she do not love me ... the betrayal hurts as well (she was seeing some other guy during those 11 mths ...)
were they really together or it was just a assumption?
missed her so badly but now she is back ... I feel like initating a break up i dunno y.... just feel that her heart is not with me ba ... wat the point of being togehter... guess the intensity is not there anymore if the love is not there...wads the use of being together...u need 2 hands to clap in a r/s..ya?
Of cos if I were to break up... I will fall into the misery of loneliness... I suppose I can concentrate on improvign myself and getting a new job and maybe a new gf may just come along... who knows dun give up a forest for a flower...no one is perfect...learn from this lesson and improve urself....be a new improved person after each fall
If the feeling is not there and u are suffering...break up is the only way...its just like a sickness..if u dun cure it..u will only keep on suffer until one day it really overwhelms u
Get over it...Improve urself...learn new skills...change ur behaviour..ponder on your weakness....every fall in a lesson to be learned
Dun beat urself up on how lousy u are...No one is perfect...Everyone has its flaws and perfect points...but there is something in each of us that no one else could ever be
Cheers
+~StarPuppy~+ -
why did she break up with the ex?
The guy dump her? -
Be careful what you wish for, your wishes may really come true -
She told me it didnt work out, the guy sent her an SMS to stop seeing her. I never probe further....Originally posted by drx:why did she break up with the ex?
The guy dump her?
Well I like her and enjoy company even though she do not love her as b 4. In a way I feel I am being used. -
Originally posted by seancannot:She told me it didnt work out, the guy sent her an SMS to stop seeing her. I never probe further....
Well I like her and enjoy company even though she do not love her as b 4. In a way I feel I am being used. sorry to be harsh...but i feel she is a jumper- meaning...she usues u until shes sick and she jumps to another and jumps back to her exs when she gets dumped
Cheers
~+StarPuppy+~ -
She is a very nice girl .... I know cos I met b itches b 4 ....Unfortunately... I am a sucker ba ... I was so depressed in that 11 months .. without a word she just left me .....guess I feel better now ... but even now we are together again, something is missing liao....I just held her hand yesterday and told her I still love her no matter what happen .. I will still forgive and love her ... but I search my conscience now , maybe I wasnt true ... I dunno ... just dun feel like seeing her for the time being ... I need to sort things out ... realign my thots ... guess I will stop calling her for nowOriginally posted by StarPuppy: sorry to be harsh...but i feel she is a jumper- meaning...she usues u until shes sick and she jumps to another and jumps back to her exs when she gets dumped
Cheers
~+StarPuppy+~ -
you really have a serious problem.
you are unhappy when you have no girlfriend.
you are unhappy when you have a girlfriend.
the problem i think is you are actually very insecure. think hard about what you want before going into a relationship. -
I beg to differ ... for every relationship ..there is bound to have problems... this is wat I notice from my frens and myself... even you put two very nice and compatiable pple together there will be other problem say from in laws and such... there is a price to pay for everythingOriginally posted by dragg:you really have a serious problem.
you are unhappy when you have no girlfriend.
you are unhappy when you have a girlfriend.
the problem i think is you are actually very insecure. think hard about what you want before going into a relationship.
I am not asking for a solution here cos there is none for me...just airing my grouse thanks for listening to my whining ... these are thing I will not share with someone I know.. -
maybe u can help me with this case I am having.
A and B are guys who are good friends.
C is a girl who knows both of them. Suddenly one day goes to the handsome looking A and ask him to be with her bf. Guy A rejects her and she goes up to guy B the next day to ask him the same question.
Question is should Guy B accept her as his new gf ?
What will you do? -
obviously something is wrong with the girl. guy b should turn her down too.Originally posted by drx:maybe u can help me with this case I am having.
A and B are guys who are good friends.
C is a girl who knows both of them. Suddenly one day goes to the handsome looking A and ask him to be with her bf. Guy A rejects her and she goes up to guy B the next day to ask him the same question.
Question is should Guy B accept her as his new gf ?
What will you do? -
maybe it's a case of "Shoot and Scoot"? if you get my drift.Originally posted by dragg:obviously something is wrong with the girl. guy b should turn her down too. -
If you're already contemplating, chances are 3 months, 3 years, 3 decades down, contemplation will still be on your mind.
-
Originally posted by seancannot:She is a very nice girl .... I know cos I met b itches b 4 ....Unfortunately... I am a sucker ba ... I was so depressed in that 11 months .. without a word she just left me .....guess I feel better now ... but even now we are together again, something is missing liao....I just held her hand yesterday and told her I still love her no matter what happen .. I will still forgive and love her ... but I search my conscience now , maybe I wasnt true ... I dunno ... just dun feel like seeing her for the time being ... I need to sort things out ... realign my thots ... guess I will stop calling her for now
-
There is no point carrying on a relationship when the fire has died. The damage is already done, and you have to search your heart to find out whether you truly love her or not right now. Don't take your time because as each day passes you will deteriorate. Relationships are meant to be between two people that nurture each other. What I see in your situation is a growing, unhealthy and tiresome relationship that leaves you with insomnia instead of a good night's rest. Weigh the pros and cons and decide for yourself. Sometimes what hurts the heart will soothe the head, aka the truth may hurt your heart but at least you know its true. Also what soothes the heart will hurt the head, which is currently what you're experiencing. Time will take care of your loneliness if you're willing to take care of yourself first. All the best, mate.
-
Just surprised the fire could just die off suddenly ... I loved her alot... and missed her so badly then .. suddenly the longing is all gone... I cant believe it myself...
-
It hurts when u got betrayed
so its natural be defensive when she got back to you again
for fear to get hurt again
what u really need to do, is to know how much u love her, and not how much u loved her.
why not find a time, and have a good talk with her
tell her how you feel abt this reconcilation -
Yeah... Don't bother to ask why and don't think too much about it...Originally posted by seancannot:Just surprised the fire could just die off suddenly ... I loved her alot... and missed her so badly then .. suddenly the longing is all gone... I cant believe it myself... -
ask yourself wat u wan.... if u wanna leave jz leave... n dun look back....Originally posted by seancannot:My GF and I patch up after not seeing her for almost 11 months...
I was happy intially that I am seeing her almost everyday again... but somehow I just feel she do not love me ... the betrayal hurts as well (she was seeing some other guy during those 11 mths ...)
I missed her so badly but now she is back ... I feel like initating a break up i dunno y.... just feel that her heart is not with me ba ... wat the point of being togehter... guess the intensity is not there anymore
Of cos if I were to break up... I will fall into the misery of loneliness... I suppose I can concentrate on improvign myself and getting a new job and maybe a new gf may just come along... who knows
I still love her and I will be sad to leave her but I feel if we go on it will be worse ba given I could never meet her expectations and needs -
Haha... Brutus from the shakespear play?Originally posted by BrUtUs:ask yourself wat u wan.... if u wanna leave jz leave... n dun look back.... -
Understand what you mean... somethings are never the same again
Huang Shu jun has a song with the following phrase:
You Shi Hou Suo Wei Nan Yi Ge She De Ai Qing
Shi Shi Shang Zhi Shi Bu Gan Xin Er Yi
...possible explanation?
May you reach a conclusion and be happy this point forward -
Of course in every relationship there're bound to have problems.
BUT is yours even considered a relationship in the 1st place? A relationship is built on a foundation called LOVE. In your "relationship", love seems to be absent.
Have you figured out what you want?
FeowFeowOriginally posted by seancannot:I beg to differ ... for every relationship ..there is bound to have problems... this is wat I notice from my frens and myself... even you put two very nice and compatiable pple together there will be other problem say from in laws and such... there is a price to pay for everything
I am not asking for a solution here cos there is none for me...just airing my grouse thanks for listening to my whining ... these are thing I will not share with someone I know.. -
mmmm... personally, relationships that end with break ups then u patch up again but during the in-between she is with another guys is just a bit too much for me. During that in-between loads of stuff happens if u know what i mean. Maybe she is a jumper .. but only you will know. Take time think about it and see what others in AA has to say for you ya.
-
You did not mention: why is she coming back to you? And so soon after her break-up.
Anyway, I think you should move on. -
i guess u got to think thru what do u really want ?Originally posted by seancannot:My GF and I patch up after not seeing her for almost 11 months...
I missed her so badly but now she is back ... I feel like initating a break up i dunno y.... just feel that her heart is not with me ba ... wat the point of being togehter... guess the intensity is not there anymore
might be the pervious hurting has kill majority of the feelings n love in it
Of cos if I were to break up... I will fall into the misery of loneliness... I suppose I can concentrate on improvign myself and getting a new job and maybe a new gf may just come along... who knows
maybe it's just the plain loneliness u are worrying ? y worry abt loneliness try going out with friends or getting to know more ppl ?
I still love her and I will be sad to leave her but I feel if we go on it will be worse ba given I could never meet her expectations and needs
isn't the majority of the feels has die off when she left ?
or is it the expectations/ needs u are inferior.
if feeling is gone, i dnt see the point on holding on the r/l
being in a r/l whereby feelings fade, we will be more lonely n both will be miserable.
gd luck