Originally posted by rumie:
Asking this on behalf of my friend... I can't help him with this cos it seems that we have almost the same problem and both of us are guys...
Anyway, HE broke off with HIS ex 9 months ago, and had since stopped contacting her for almost 3 months so far...
HE had never encounter this whereby HE started on a new r'ship after HE broke off with someone else. According to HIM, HIS ex is something like HIS first gf whom HE'd broken up with.
And now, HE is in this new relationship, and it's almost 3 months...
HE told me that HE felt weird becasue HE still think of HIS ex. Apparantly, HIS gf told HIM that she heard from her friends' bfs that it is pretty normal for HIM to think of HIS ex...
But my friend seems rather confused. Cos HE told me over a drink (HE doesn't really dare to tell HIS gf the entire truth) that HE still thinks of HIS ex in "certain way" (HE can't really pinpoint, but I think it MIGHT be that he still have a bit of feelings/concern for HIS ex) despite being with HIS current gf.
[b]HE wants to know if there's a way to find out if HE is just using HIS current gf to get over HIS ex, or is it really just NORMAL? And is it just feelings/concern for HIS ex?
And HE asked me this, which I really can't asnwer: how does HE know if HE had let go of HIS ex?
I told HIM (according to my feelings) that, HE had let go if for some reasons, when HE thinks of the past, it does not hurt as much as it did when HE had just broken up with HIS ex.
Told HIM that it is normal to still think of HIS ex, cos it's never possible to forget memories.
Am I correct?
And is there really a way for HIM (and I guess, even for me in the future) to find out the truth if HE had let go?
Btw, my friend initiated the break-up with HIS ex...
[/b]
He has LET GO, if the issue doesn't bother him anymore... No doubt you are right on the part where memories would often always be there... But certainly if you think too much and too deeply over things, they might just simply bother you....?
Ask him if he wants his gf? And if he does, shouldn't he be FOCUSING on HER INSTEAD of all these 'nonsense thinkings'...? And if he just can't help... Perhaps... Just perhaps... It could be like what MCSquare had said...