I think you're being overly sensitive for now. On the long run, it's not healthy for your relationship?Originally posted by Kimosabe:See, I have this boyfriend, he's fantastic. He cares for me and we've been going out now for about ten months plus. Here's the crappy part, which might actually be my fault from the very beginning.
I was at his desktop, and I saw the ICQ conversations they had. Rather explicit. But hey its ok, i mean they were attached at that time. Her pictures at the chalet and other things about them were still there. Also, her stuff toys were displayed in his car. In the boot now, but still there.
Here's the thing --- I don't doubt his love, but it seems that everywhere I look, I always see 'her'...you understand? Like, our anniversary is on the same date, which I think regarding that part I've talked his ears off. He's gotten a little grumpy about me bringing her up all the time. But nothing's been done.
I want him to do what HE wants to do about it, he says he's too lazy to recall what's from her and what's not from her, and asked me why am I the kind of girl that wants him to curse her to death and burn everything. I don't....I just want something we both share.
I don't know...this may just be some stupid issue...he says he doesn't see it as an issue and when I try to talk it out he just keeps quiet and looks at me or plays with something else...what is actually going through his head? I need a guy's point of view, and a solution real quick, before I really unknowingly ruin the relationship.
I was so stupidly affected that I even wrote a song for him...here :
Does she hold you the way I do, Does she whisper sincere 'I Love You's',
Does she listen to everything and respect what you say;
Does she smile the way I do, Does she give you what you need,
Does she see what others don't see in you;
If the answer is 'yes', Then my dear I must confess,
That my heart is silently breaking in two;
But despite all that I fear, I'm still happy when you're near,
You should know by now that all I need is you;
(**) I only hope that I will never make you cry, I only wish that I could be that good and special like how she was, But I guess in time my love will show its truth, For I give it all, everyday, Anytime and anyway; That's all I can do, give it all to you;(**)
Does she brush your hair aside, just to look into your eyes;
Does she kiss you on the cheek the way I do;
Does she swallow her pride, Does she hold you justified,
Does she play those silly games you like with you;
Does she really trest you right, Doe she yearn everyday to hold you tight,
Does she cry and out of everyone, she only runs to you?
Ok, cheesy....but help...
Originally posted by Kimosabe:See, I have this boyfriend, he's fantastic.
Originally posted by Kimosabe:See, I have this boyfriend, he's fantastic. He cares for me and we've been going out now for about ten months plus. Here's the crappy part, which might actually be my fault from the very beginning.
I was at his desktop, and I saw the ICQ conversations they had. Rather explicit. But hey its ok, i mean they were attached at that time. Her pictures at the chalet and other things about them were still there. Also, her stuff toys were displayed in his car. In the boot now, but still there.
Here's the thing --- I don't doubt his love, but it seems that everywhere I look, I always see 'her'...you understand? Like, our anniversary is on the same date, which I think regarding that part I've talked his ears off. He's gotten a little grumpy about me bringing her up all the time. But nothing's been done.
I want him to do what HE wants to do about it, he says he's too lazy to recall what's from her and what's not from her, and asked me why am I the kind of girl that wants him to curse her to death and burn everything. I don't....I just want something we both share.
I don't know...this may just be some stupid issue...he says he doesn't see it as an issue and when I try to talk it out he just keeps quiet and looks at me or plays with something else...what is actually going through his head? I need a guy's point of view, and a solution real quick, before I really unknowingly ruin the relationship.
I was so stupidly affected that I even wrote a song for him...here :
Does she hold you the way I do, Does she whisper sincere 'I Love You's',
Does she listen to everything and respect what you say;
Does she smile the way I do, Does she give you what you need,
Does she see what others don't see in you;
If the answer is 'yes', Then my dear I must confess,
That my heart is silently breaking in two;
But despite all that I fear, I'm still happy when you're near,
You should know by now that all I need is you;
(**) I only hope that I will never make you cry, I only wish that I could be that good and special like how she was, But I guess in time my love will show its truth, For I give it all, everyday, Anytime and anyway; That's all I can do, give it all to you;(**)
Does she brush your hair aside, just to look into your eyes;
Does she kiss you on the cheek the way I do;
Does she swallow her pride, Does she hold you justified,
Does she play those silly games you like with you;
Does she really trest you right, Doe she yearn everyday to hold you tight,
Does she cry and out of everyone, she only runs to you?
Ok, cheesy....but help...
Originally posted by Kimosabe:See, I have this boyfriend, he's fantastic. He cares for me and we've been going out now for about ten months plus. Here's the crappy part, which might actually be my fault from the very beginning.
I was at his desktop, and I saw the ICQ conversations they had. Rather explicit. But hey its ok, i mean they were attached at that time. Her pictures at the chalet and other things about them were still there. Also, her stuff toys were displayed in his car. In the boot now, but still there.
Here's the thing --- I don't doubt his love, but it seems that everywhere I look, I always see 'her'...you understand? Like, our anniversary is on the same date, which I think regarding that part I've talked his ears off. He's gotten a little grumpy about me bringing her up all the time. But nothing's been done.
I want him to do what HE wants to do about it, he says he's too lazy to recall what's from her and what's not from her, and asked me why am I the kind of girl that wants him to curse her to death and burn everything. I don't....I just want something we both share.
I don't know...this may just be some stupid issue...he says he doesn't see it as an issue and when I try to talk it out he just keeps quiet and looks at me or plays with something else...what is actually going through his head? I need a guy's point of view, and a solution real quick, before I really unknowingly ruin the relationship.
I was so stupidly affected that I even wrote a song for him...here :
Does she hold you the way I do, Does she whisper sincere 'I Love You's',
Does she listen to everything and respect what you say;
Does she smile the way I do, Does she give you what you need,
Does she see what others don't see in you;
If the answer is 'yes', Then my dear I must confess,
That my heart is silently breaking in two;
But despite all that I fear, I'm still happy when you're near,
You should know by now that all I need is you;
(**) I only hope that I will never make you cry, I only wish that I could be that good and special like how she was, But I guess in time my love will show its truth, For I give it all, everyday, Anytime and anyway; That's all I can do, give it all to you;(**)
Does she brush your hair aside, just to look into your eyes;
Does she kiss you on the cheek the way I do;
Does she swallow her pride, Does she hold you justified,
Does she play those silly games you like with you;
Does she really trest you right, Doe she yearn everyday to hold you tight,
Does she cry and out of everyone, she only runs to you?
Ok, cheesy....but help...
well was in this situation be4 and my gf dun like what my ex buy for me but she did not compalin what she did was slowly buy stuff to give me and i will replace them lo .. then i will keep my ex's stuff in boxes.. but slowly slowly lo start building the world that belongs to both of you but must be bit by bit ....Originally posted by Kimosabe:See, I have this boyfriend, he's fantastic. He cares for me and we've been going out now for about ten months plus. Here's the crappy part, which might actually be my fault from the very beginning.
I was at his desktop, and I saw the ICQ conversations they had. Rather explicit. But hey its ok, i mean they were attached at that time. Her pictures at the chalet and other things about them were still there. Also, her stuff toys were displayed in his car. In the boot now, but still there.
Here's the thing --- I don't doubt his love, but it seems that everywhere I look, I always see 'her'...you understand? Like, our anniversary is on the same date, which I think regarding that part I've talked his ears off. He's gotten a little grumpy about me bringing her up all the time. But nothing's been done.
I want him to do what HE wants to do about it, he says he's too lazy to recall what's from her and what's not from her, and asked me why am I the kind of girl that wants him to curse her to death and burn everything. I don't....I just want something we both share.
I don't know...this may just be some stupid issue...he says he doesn't see it as an issue and when I try to talk it out he just keeps quiet and looks at me or plays with something else...what is actually going through his head? I need a guy's point of view, and a solution real quick, before I really unknowingly ruin the relationship.
I was so stupidly affected that I even wrote a song for him...here :
Does she hold you the way I do, Does she whisper sincere 'I Love You's',
Does she listen to everything and respect what you say;
Does she smile the way I do, Does she give you what you need,
Does she see what others don't see in you;
If the answer is 'yes', Then my dear I must confess,
That my heart is silently breaking in two;
But despite all that I fear, I'm still happy when you're near,
You should know by now that all I need is you;
(**) I only hope that I will never make you cry, I only wish that I could be that good and special like how she was, But I guess in time my love will show its truth, For I give it all, everyday, Anytime and anyway; That's all I can do, give it all to you;(**)
Does she brush your hair aside, just to look into your eyes;
Does she kiss you on the cheek the way I do;
Does she swallow her pride, Does she hold you justified,
Does she play those silly games you like with you;
Does she really trest you right, Doe she yearn everyday to hold you tight,
Does she cry and out of everyone, she only runs to you?
Ok, cheesy....but help...
relax relax ! don sound as if u are picking on a fightOriginally posted by browniebaobao:What do u expect? The things are there, they do hold some memories for him. Who are u to take away those memories? Even if u are his gf, u are a demanding one. I'm a girl, but I think that u are overly sensitive and jealous of all those things. He said he can't remember what things were from her..and u still asked him to remove them. Come on, aren't u reminding him of her? Aren't you forcing him to recall those memories?
What about you? You ever had a bf before him? Do u throw away all ur things? Did he ever tell u that he dun like u to keep those things etc? If u dun have faith in him, then why make both of u so tired? He has the right to keep those things. If they are an eyesore to you, then dun look! And dun think! Who ask u to mind so much? The problem is not him, is YOU!
Let me put this simple for you.Originally posted by Kimosabe:Yeah I told him I said 'you don't know how it feels to put up with it because I never put you in a position like that'...I wonder how he'll react if I do the same...but I don't want to be vengeful or anything because I'll be a bitter person also...I've just been trying to accept things as they are...I just decided to keep quiet now and if I need to talk to anyone I'll talk to my stuff toys.
I don't mean to make a huge fuss out of this but for some reason it really makes me miserable...Yap my friend told me the same thing...fill up his life with my stuff...slowly...I already accept that she was a part of his life...*sigh* My birthday this saturday also...don't feel like celebrating...it just kinda hurts to know he still doesn't see it as an issue when I'm obviously sad about it...
yea i agree with you . so kimo you should be thankful ya bf is quite a sentimental person , i know you worry that you are just a substitute but ya gotta give the guy and yourself a chance , and concentrate on building ya futureOriginally posted by smudgey:Kimosabe, reading your post brings back memories....
My bf and I started our relationship 1yr ++ ago... i remembered that he refused to let me look in his wallet.... say there's things in there that brings back memories and he didn't want to see them so never even removed them. (he lost his wallet some months later. not intentially)
He used to show me pictures of his past but carefully removings the ones with his exs in them... but i insisted that he showed me the pictures( i dont believe in keeping things hidden from one another) and wow! his ex was a caucasian, slim very pretty gal. ( they broke up due to "cannot be help" reasons. (the reasons are private hence i shall not reveal)).
I was thinking like Whoo... ur ex is so pretty... etc why would you choose me?
and for a longest time I was so insecure. I even thought and asked him once what happens if the "cannot be help" reasons dissappears? will you want her back? he said that would never happen as the reasons will not dissappear!!!
so for the longest time i kept thinking that he loves me less than her... that he keeps all his gifts/pics from her because he loves her still... I kept thinking how she is more suited for him as she knows him so well and according to my bf they never fought... while with me we quarrel every now and then...
I have to say I'm not sure when i stopped feeling so insecure... but now that i think back... i realise I trust him. now IF the "cannot be help" reasons dissappears, I know he'll stick by me. cos he loves me.
Kimosabe, how long did your bf's relationship with his ex last? is it a wonder why they have accumulated so many stuff? what I'm saying is ur relationship is only 10 months old... hence total absolute trust may not be there yet... but in time to come the trust will build up. your love will grow stronger.and you won't feel that insecure.
point is, do not keep bugging him about this. be glad that he's a sentimental man, which means he is less likely to leave you.
I still have all the gifts from my ex. and I won't wanna throw them away... it's my gifts from a man i once loved of course i treasure them... and from time to time i'll think of all the good times I've had with him... and also i admit at times I'll compare my ex with my bf... but bottom line is I made my choice; i chose my bf. I'm not saying that i'll never change my mind, just that having those items around will not make me change my mind.
Kimosabe, the relationship is now in your hands it's up to you now whether you wanna
1. be patient and nourish it (by not picking fights with your bf about these things) and let it grow strong enough for you to trust him completely.
2. snuff the life out of the relationship by focusing on these issues instead of using this time to creat fantastic memories of your own!!!
"The choice is yours, CHOOSE WISELY!"
Originally posted by Komon:relax relax ! don sound as if u are picking on a fight![]()
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Take real good care with this relationship yeah?Originally posted by Kimosabe:Thanks guys...I understand. I must've been a real bitch. Thanks for all your help.