another relationship dilemma... pls help...
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haiz... its v terrible... here goes the story...
(by the way, im currently a o lvl student)
some time last yr, around this period of the yr, i told my feelings to this gal tht i like. then she told mi tht she did have some feelings for mi, but she juz ended a relationship with another guy and need some time to settle down b4 she can accept another relationship. okay, so i accepted the reply and she asked mi to maintain the feelings.
then, some time in the beginning of oct, she told mi tht she had alot of stuff to concentrate on because she was the president of the student council and chairman of the chinese orchestra. moreover, she had to cope with studies at the same time as she wasnt doing well at tht time. yup, i have to understand tht and i contunue to wait. until the end of last yr, she told mi tht it will be better to be frens and didnt really give mi a reason(she said tht theres no reason, gan qing this kind of thing its hard to explain).
after tht pt of time, i was giving up alr becoz i believe tht theres no pt in pursuading a relationship if she doesnt like u anymore, am i rite? then the beginning of this yr... the first few months... i felt tht she kept coming close to me and i can sense tht she was trying to regain tht relationship. then i decided to ask her wht she intended to do. she said tht she wanted to start with me after the o's. okay... since i still had feelings for her.
then after tht, we had been going out to study, and she also toks to me abt alot of things abt her. and it was recently tht this terrible thing happened! tht sat we were supposed to go out and she told mi tht she couldnt go out anymore le. then on sunday, she didnt reply my msg and i got fed up abt it and was telling her abt it. then she came online and once again told mi tht it will be best tht we be frens and not to start any relationships. again, she didnt give a proper explaination abt it and dun you guys think its v immature way to handling such stuff? its like small kids having puppet love then break up for the sake of breaking up? okay, then its ok. no matter wht i still have to accpet it. then it comes to the most terrible part. she told mi tht she was actually with another guy now and they had juz started! WAH! i really felt cheated at tht time. she didnt even bothered to explain the whole thing to me. i was the one who called her to ask her to explain things properly. its ridiculous. i didnt expected tht she would have start with another guy and i got to noe tht they went out on tht sat when we are supposed to go out. i really could not agree with her way to handling of relationship. she was like running away from facts and didnt want to explain things properly.
she told me she started liking tht other guy since 1 month ago and didnt noe how to tell mi as she scare it will affect my o's which is ard the corner liao. she kept saying its her fault and shes sorry abt it. but the way she say it, its seems to mi tht she wasnt sincere at all. she was juz trying to make mi like a fool. i couldnt stand it and our conversation tht night was a heated discussion. i simply could not control my anger and u noe, men's hormones are uncontrolable. then in some ways and i duno how, she said tht i hurt her with my words and i backstab her which i cant believe i did tht! dun u guys think its v funny? and now shes the one angry instead of mi and says tht we are impossible to be frens anymore. but i think if i really say things tht hurt her, its my responsibility to settle it and whts more, she my classmate. it wont be nice to be enemies.
so, wanna ask u guys, wht do u think of the whole situation? wht u guys think i should do? im really in a dilemma.
NB: take note tht this is my brother's prob. preparing for o lvl, hope u guys can help him one way or another thnx
as a elder brother, really cant bear to see him feeling so bad everyday and i think this is considered to be his first love. -
forget about her... move on..
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the gal supposed to be shot ... seriously ... she aint some1 decent ... she may b some big shot student council but so wat ... don wan be frens then don be la ... i hate gals who play ppl feeling .. .obivously ur bro is cheated ... if i were him ... i might jus gave her a slap ... (lol) ... imagine ur bro is stood up in a supposed date n that gal got the cheek to go out with another guy ?? if she can do this while dating ... i cannot imagine when it comes to the real rlship .... mayb she go slp with this n tat whereby ur bro is waitin for her at the cinema waitin for a movie ...
good tat ur bro thrash things out ... conc on o lvls ba ... -
don't be an idiot lah..Originally posted by geran76:forget about her... move on..
every post also say move on..
do you know how hard it is for people to move on?
at least give people some hope..
but don't give them false hope..
at least must convince them that the relationship cannot be salvaged , for this case , it is infactuation..
you got
Two choices.
No.1
Wait and see how things go , i rather to view things from a positive light ,
since they are not getting married , that doesn't mean you don't have any chance .
No.2
you rush things too fast liao , spoil romance , your brother seems like a possessive freak , to be straightforward lor.
To handle girls , we guys must show that you can live without her..
don't be a ****** sissy.. -
Originally posted by Saint`:the gal supposed to be shot ... seriously ... she aint some1 decent ... she may b some big shot student council but so wat ... don wan be frens then don be la ... i hate gals who play ppl feeling .. .obivously ur bro is cheated ... if i were him ... i might jus gave her a slap ... (lol) ... imagine ur bro is stood up in a supposed date n that gal got the cheek to go out with another guy ?? if she can do this while dating ... i cannot imagine when it comes to the real rlship .... mayb she go slp with this n tat whereby ur bro is waitin for her at the cinema waitin for a movie ...
good tat ur bro thrash things out ... conc on o lvls ba ...
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for threadstarter
Tell your future gf that you have slapped a girl before and see how she reacts to it.
If the person is good enough , the girl will realise that she have went out with the wrong guy , true sincerity perseveres , and if you stay on to be there for her , you will slowly make her feel touched
You and the girl never started at all.
The girl has the right to break up and not go out with you.
Ask your bro to change his mindset..
If she moves on so easily and so fast by changing boyfriends , you will know that this kind of girl cannot commit into relationships one.
so why start? since both parties can't fully commit at this point in time -
firstly i will say the gal is very fickle minded about the types of guys she wants. And is she worth your effort to wait for her?? and even so, will she come back to u?? And you did try once.. but once again, she choose another guy instead of u.. So i guess that her feeling for u is not as strong as urs.. So why bother waiting for her the second time? Your first time waiting for her is right.. As she could have feelings for you.. But yet again...... So is best that you forget about her and find a new love.. As she does not deserve you waiting for her..
And Smap, she did tell her that " she said tht she wanted to start with me after the o's. okay... since i still had feelings for her. " isn't it a commitment on her part to start with him?? then later on, she turned to another guy... So she is not sure what she want.. -
Life is suffering. Learn to detach yourself from such feelings.
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yup... i think my bro has no feeling for this gal liao.. even if she wants to start with my bro again i also wont allow... lololol
but my bro had nv tot tht such a gal would be like this.. somemore.. he told mi tht he noe this gal since sec 2 liao and couldnt believe tht she is actually this kind of person as she is always giving him the feeling tht she not those play gal type of gal. therefore, its quite shocking for my bro to learn this. well, thts chan ku de shi shi. ppl can change pretty soon in a short period of time.
maybe this thread can give others a lesson to learn and to choose the right gal to date with. anyway, a big THANK YOU for the comments u guys have given and thanks in advance for those going to comment. -
i dont think she is worthy of ur love.. move on?
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GENERIC ANSWER SPOTTED!Originally posted by sweetevil:i dont think she is worthy of ur love.. move on?
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She's juz taking him as a jiu sheng quan.
Now that she's at the shore liao, she dun need 'it' (ur bro) anymore. -
just wondered.... ever thought that the girl herself maybe equally confused???
I mean at the age of wat 15? 16? these relationship feelings may be overwhelmingly confusing...
{you are young... still wondering what Love actually is (just got out of another relationship which Hurted you a lot and made you somewhat scared of commitment)... some boy A (gd friend) confess his feelings... you feel moved but reluctant to start(afraid of ruining friendship, plus must do the right thing and let both u and the boy conc on exams first...) so you tell boy A to wait first... you conc on studies... don't call A but scared A will forget you so you call him... ask him to wait...
While A is waiting... Boy B comes into your life and sweeps you off your feet... you wonder who to choose... A or B... deliberate for a long time and you decided to go with B... but dunno how to tell A... so you decided to not say anything... hoping that he too had lost interest...}
I'm not saying that what this girl did was right... but come on when you are 15+... you honestly don't really know what you are doing... and of course you'll make mistakes... she might not have meant to string your bro along... but all these may just be too much for her to handle...Originally posted by miaomiao11:yup... i think my bro has no feeling for this gal liao.. even if she wants to start with my bro again i also wont allow... lololol
but my bro had nv tot tht such a gal would be like this.. somemore.. he told mi tht he noe this gal since sec 2 liao and couldnt believe tht she is actually this kind of person as she is always giving him the feeling tht she not those play gal type of gal. therefore, its quite shocking for my bro to learn this. well, thts chan ku de shi shi. ppl can change pretty soon in a short period of time.
maybe this thread can give others a lesson to learn and to choose the right gal to date with. anyway, a big THANK YOU for the comments u guys have given and thanks in advance for those going to comment. -
Originally posted by smudgey:just wondered.... ever thought that the girl herself maybe equally confused???
I mean at the age of wat 15? 16? these relationship feelings may be overwhelmingly confusing...
{you are young... still wondering what Love actually is (just got out of another relationship which Hurted you a lot and made you somewhat scared of commitment)... some boy A (gd friend) confess his feelings... you feel moved but reluctant to start(afraid of ruining friendship, plus must do the right thing and let both u and the boy conc on exams first...) so you tell boy A to wait first... you conc on studies... don't call A but scared A will forget you so you call him... ask him to wait...
While A is waiting... Boy B comes into your life and sweeps you off your feet... you wonder who to choose... A or B... deliberate for a long time and you decided to go with B... but dunno how to tell A... so you decided to not say anything... hoping that he too had lost interest...}
I'm not saying that what this girl did was right... but come on when you are 15+... you honestly don't really know what you are doing... and of course you'll make mistakes... she might not have meant to string your bro along... but all these may just be too much for her to handle...miaomiao11's bro:
the prob is... the boy B has alr like the gal alot and she had told mi tht she has no feeling for boy B and out of a suddenly she say she had start with boy B le.. anyway.. juz to say tht im not even her fren b4 i confess to her.. although we are classmate for alr 1yr plus liao but we dun really tok during tht period. its becoz of a proj in sec3 tht i was the assistant director and shes the actress which then cause some sort of a calayst and suddenly have feelings for her... then we start to noe each other more.. the how it started.. -
Be glad that he didn't start off in a relationship with her.Originally posted by miaomiao11:haiz... its v terrible... here goes the story...
(by the way, im currently a o lvl student)
some time last yr, around this period of the yr, i told my feelings to this gal tht i like. then she told mi tht she did have some feelings for mi, but she juz ended a relationship with another guy and need some time to settle down b4 she can accept another relationship. okay, so i accepted the reply and she asked mi to maintain the feelings.
then, some time in the beginning of oct, she told mi tht she had alot of stuff to concentrate on because she was the president of the student council and chairman of the chinese orchestra. moreover, she had to cope with studies at the same time as she wasnt doing well at tht time. yup, i have to understand tht and i contunue to wait. until the end of last yr, she told mi tht it will be better to be frens and didnt really give mi a reason(she said tht theres no reason, gan qing this kind of thing its hard to explain).
after tht pt of time, i was giving up alr becoz i believe tht theres no pt in pursuading a relationship if she doesnt like u anymore, am i rite? then the beginning of this yr... the first few months... i felt tht she kept coming close to me and i can sense tht she was trying to regain tht relationship. then i decided to ask her wht she intended to do. she said tht she wanted to start with me after the o's. okay... since i still had feelings for her.
then after tht, we had been going out to study, and she also toks to me abt alot of things abt her. and it was recently tht this terrible thing happened! tht sat we were supposed to go out and she told mi tht she couldnt go out anymore le. then on sunday, she didnt reply my msg and i got fed up abt it and was telling her abt it. then she came online and once again told mi tht it will be best tht we be frens and not to start any relationships. again, she didnt give a proper explaination abt it and dun you guys think its v immature way to handling such stuff? its like small kids having puppet love then break up for the sake of breaking up? okay, then its ok. no matter wht i still have to accpet it. then it comes to the most terrible part. she told mi tht she was actually with another guy now and they had juz started! WAH! i really felt cheated at tht time. she didnt even bothered to explain the whole thing to me. i was the one who called her to ask her to explain things properly. its ridiculous. i didnt expected tht she would have start with another guy and i got to noe tht they went out on tht sat when we are supposed to go out. i really could not agree with her way to handling of relationship. she was like running away from facts and didnt want to explain things properly.
she told me she started liking tht other guy since 1 month ago and didnt noe how to tell mi as she scare it will affect my o's which is ard the corner liao. she kept saying its her fault and shes sorry abt it. but the way she say it, its seems to mi tht she wasnt sincere at all. she was juz trying to make mi like a fool. i couldnt stand it and our conversation tht night was a heated discussion. i simply could not control my anger and u noe, men's hormones are uncontrolable. then in some ways and i duno how, she said tht i hurt her with my words and i backstab her which i cant believe i did tht! dun u guys think its v funny? and now shes the one angry instead of mi and says tht we are impossible to be frens anymore. but i think if i really say things tht hurt her, its my responsibility to settle it and whts more, she my classmate. it wont be nice to be enemies.
so, wanna ask u guys, wht do u think of the whole situation? wht u guys think i should do? im really in a dilemma.
NB: take note tht this is my brother's prob. preparing for o lvl, hope u guys can help him one way or another thnx as a elder brother, really cant bear to see him feeling so bad everyday and i think this is considered to be his first love.
As for the 'not nice to be enemy with a classmate' part... He's right.. But sometimes you just can't help with some people...? -
at least you now knows how it feels like to be a sit-warmer.
i would think that part of the problem lies in you. You chosed to wait for her when you realised that midway through the waiting, the girl still was not able to commit. What's more, what are you trying to do since your o level is around the corner? get your priority right.
i am sure that come feb next yr, when you realised that you did not do well for your o's, you will be blaming her?
just take this whole issue with a pinch of salt, my boy. -
Puppy love...
move on kavan -
its not like i am waiting for an empty shell? coz she did said tht she was intending to start the relationship with mi after o's and she even asked mi to maintian the feeling... well, in the process she also hint quite lot of things which i would go into details...Originally posted by Deportivo:at least you now knows how it feels like to be a sit-warmer.
i would think that part of the problem lies in you. You chosed to wait for her when you realised that midway through the waiting, the girl still was not able to commit. What's more, what are you trying to do since your o level is around the corner? get your priority right.
i am sure that come feb next yr, when you realised that you did not do well for your o's, you will be blaming her?
just take this whole issue with a pinch of salt, my boy.
well, once im preparing for o's, shes not in my mind. juz tht when im not doing anything, i may somehow thing of this issue -
haiz.. ya... its damn ridiculous in this situation. even i was able to forgive and forget so as to be frens with her, why cant she also forgive and forget? wht i tot was i should be the one angry now, and now it turns out to be she is the one being angry.... unbelieveable...Originally posted by Devil1976:Be glad that he didn't start off in a relationship with her.
As for the 'not nice to be enemy with a classmate' part... He's right.. But sometimes you just can't help with some people...?
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firstly, i am touched and impressed by your faithfulness for this girl, for waiting for her. its a shame that she didnt see this and did not cherish it. not many guys possess this quality and patience.Originally posted by miaomiao11:its not like i am waiting for an empty shell? coz she did said tht she was intending to start the relationship with mi after o's and she even asked mi to maintian the feeling... well, in the process she also hint quite lot of things which i would go into details...
as for her, she is being selfish by making you wait for her again and again by giving you false hope. you seem to be not her ideal one but finally accepted you since no one comes along, but once she found a better one, she dumps you. have witness such similar case before. you are only a reserve carpark lot to her. if you dont wanna stay as enemy in class, just respond if being spoken to, otherwise, just stick around with other classmates. -
There are more unbelievable things in life and more kinds of people you'll get to see...Originally posted by miaomiao11:haiz.. ya... its damn ridiculous in this situation. even i was able to forgive and forget so as to be frens with her, why cant she also forgive and forget? wht i tot was i should be the one angry now, and now it turns out to be she is the one being angry.... unbelieveable... -
give her the middle finger n walk to newer things in life... n ask yr bro to pray pray dun end up in the same sch as her next yr.... no point keep tinking abt it...
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you're such a nice brother =). ok, i believe this girl is seriously not worthy of your love. however, if you still wish to go for her, we are unable to stop you. she has played with your heart many times.. and i believe that it is more than suitable grounds to end the pursuit for her
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n u tink u r any better....Originally posted by SMAPLionHeart:don't be an idiot lah..
every post also say move on..
do you know how hard it is for people to move on?
at least give people some hope..
but don't give them false hope..
at least must convince them that the relationship cannot be salvaged , for this case , it is infactuation..
you got
Two choices.
No.1
Wait and see how things go , i rather to view things from a positive light ,
since they are not getting married , that doesn't mean you don't have any chance .
No.2
you rush things too fast liao , spoil romance , your brother seems like a possessive freak , to be straightforward lor.
To handle girls , we guys must show that you can live without her..
don't be a ****** sissy.. -
heheOriginally posted by coffeeortea:you're such a nice brother =). ok, i believe this girl is seriously not worthy of your love. however, if you still wish to go for her, we are unable to stop you. she has played with your heart many times.. and i believe that it is more than suitable grounds to end the pursuit for her thank you
anyway, the last few post is by my bro, i let him type wht he wanted to say...
lol.. i think ill ask him to go find flings in order to 4get tht gal ba...lol -
i find it difficult to read your language.Originally posted by miaomiao11:haiz... its v terrible... here goes the story...
(by the way, im currently a o lvl student)
some time last yr, around this period of the yr, i told my feelings to this gal tht i like. then she told mi tht she did have some feelings for mi, but she juz ended a relationship with another guy and need some time to settle down b4 she can accept another relationship. okay, so i accepted the reply and she asked mi to maintain the feelings.
then, some time in the beginning of oct, she told mi tht she had alot of stuff to concentrate on because she was the president of the student council and chairman of the chinese orchestra. moreover, she had to cope with studies at the same time as she wasnt doing well at tht time. yup, i have to understand tht and i contunue to wait. until the end of last yr, she told mi tht it will be better to be frens and didnt really give mi a reason(she said tht theres no reason, gan qing this kind of thing its hard to explain).
after tht pt of time, i was giving up alr becoz i believe tht theres no pt in pursuading a relationship if she doesnt like u anymore, am i rite? then the beginning of this yr... the first few months... i felt tht she kept coming close to me and i can sense tht she was trying to regain tht relationship. then i decided to ask her wht she intended to do. she said tht she wanted to start with me after the o's. okay... since i still had feelings for her.
then after tht, we had been going out to study, and she also toks to me abt alot of things abt her. and it was recently tht this terrible thing happened! tht sat we were supposed to go out and she told mi tht she couldnt go out anymore le. then on sunday, she didnt reply my msg and i got fed up abt it and was telling her abt it. then she came online and once again told mi tht it will be best tht we be frens and not to start any relationships. again, she didnt give a proper explaination abt it and dun you guys think its v immature way to handling such stuff? its like small kids having puppet love then break up for the sake of breaking up? okay, then its ok. no matter wht i still have to accpet it. then it comes to the most terrible part. she told mi tht she was actually with another guy now and they had juz started! WAH! i really felt cheated at tht time. she didnt even bothered to explain the whole thing to me. i was the one who called her to ask her to explain things properly. its ridiculous. i didnt expected tht she would have start with another guy and i got to noe tht they went out on tht sat when we are supposed to go out. i really could not agree with her way to handling of relationship. she was like running away from facts and didnt want to explain things properly.
she told me she started liking tht other guy since 1 month ago and didnt noe how to tell mi as she scare it will affect my o's which is ard the corner liao. she kept saying its her fault and shes sorry abt it. but the way she say it, its seems to mi tht she wasnt sincere at all. she was juz trying to make mi like a fool. i couldnt stand it and our conversation tht night was a heated discussion. i simply could not control my anger and u noe, men's hormones are uncontrolable. then in some ways and i duno how, she said tht i hurt her with my words and i backstab her which i cant believe i did tht! dun u guys think its v funny? and now shes the one angry instead of mi and says tht we are impossible to be frens anymore. but i think if i really say things tht hurt her, its my responsibility to settle it and whts more, she my classmate. it wont be nice to be enemies.
so, wanna ask u guys, wht do u think of the whole situation? wht u guys think i should do? im really in a dilemma.
NB: take note tht this is my brother's prob. preparing for o lvl, hope u guys can help him one way or another thnx as a elder brother, really cant bear to see him feeling so bad everyday and i think this is considered to be his first love.