wad do i have to do to get out of this shit hole?
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my bf is in army... in the past few months, i started to regret.. started to feel tt he isnt the one i m looking for.. i shant go into the details about y i dun like him..
the problem here is tt i wan to break up with him. n he dun let me.. to make things more complicated, my bf A made soccer bets with my buddy B and lost 2000 over bucks. so far, A onli paid B 300 bucks.. this debt has been dragging for more than a month..
2 weeks ago, B found out tt i have intentions to break up with A. so B asked me for a favout. he told me the truth tt A has been betting with him. A actually promised me to quit betting months ago. we agreed tt if he bet again, we'll break up.. for the past few months, our relationship have been tensing up.. n i have initiated a break up numerous times. A always told me tt he did a lot for me, n even quit betting for me.. but it was all a lie... he betrayed my trust, broke the promise and never wanted to tell me the truth... A is such a loser.. dun u think so? he never had the intentions to pay my buddy B.. he wouldnt have paid tt 300 if A wasnt afraid tt b will tell me the truth..
recently, becoz of some quarrel.. things got real bad.. and i couldnt take it anymore.. for the last 2 weeks i have been pretending tt i am still giving a chance to someone i dun like. i did so so tt my fren can collect the debts from my bf A. so i blew up today... i confronted my bf A and asked for a break up again... the same thing happened.. he's so persisitent.. we talked on the fone for hours.. i tried not to anser him.. but he kept pestering me..
he used to threaten me tt he will commit suicide if i leave him. den he say he will come to my house and make a din.. i was scared in the beginning.. i didnt wan my mum to know all these.. i didnt want my family to be involved.. but i badly wan to get out of this relatipnship now.. so much tt i realli dun care anymore.. he threathened me tt he might come kill me if i were to break up with him.. n i repiled.. tt i dun care.. Ã told him i'll do anything to leave him..
pls.. pple... can someone give me some advices? how can i leave him? -
he made a threat to kill you? thats good i thik its classified under some criminal threat of force or osmething(experts around?) if you put him in jail or somethign it will definitely get him away from youOriginally posted by innocentme:my bf is in army... in the past few months, i started to regret.. started to feel tt he isnt the one i m looking for.. i shant go into the details about y i dun like him..
the problem here is tt i wan to break up with him. n he dun let me.. to make things more complicated, my bf A made soccer bets with my buddy B and lost 2000 over bucks. so far, A onli paid B 300 bucks.. this debt has been dragging for more than a month..
2 weeks ago, B found out tt i have intentions to break up with A. so B asked me for a favout. he told me the truth tt A has been betting with him. A actually promised me to quit betting months ago. we agreed tt if he bet again, we'll break up.. for the past few months, our relationship have been tensing up.. n i have initiated a break up numerous times. A always told me tt he did a lot for me, n even quit betting for me.. but it was all a lie... he betrayed my trust, broke the promise and never wanted to tell me the truth... A is such a loser.. dun u think so? he never had the intentions to pay my buddy B.. he wouldnt have paid tt 300 if A wasnt afraid tt b will tell me the truth..
recently, becoz of some quarrel.. things got real bad.. and i couldnt take it anymore.. for the last 2 weeks i have been pretending tt i am still giving a chance to someone i dun like. i did so so tt my fren can collect the debts from my bf A. so i blew up today... i confronted my bf A and asked for a break up again... the same thing happened.. he's so persisitent.. we talked on the fone for hours.. i tried not to anser him.. but he kept pestering me..
he used to threaten me tt he will commit suicide if i leave him. den he say he will come to my house and make a din.. i was scared in the beginning.. i didnt wan my mum to know all these.. i didnt want my family to be involved.. but i badly wan to get out of this relatipnship now.. so much tt i realli dun care anymore.. he threathened me tt he might come kill me if i were to break up with him.. n i repiled.. tt i dun care.. Ã told him i'll do anything to leave him..
pls.. pple... can someone give me some advices? how can i leave him? -
Just tell him u are ending this relationship wif him loh. And tell him tat ur family will be waiting for him if he dare to come. Simple as tat. He threaten you, you threaten him back loh.
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Eh? Can you kill the curiousity for me of why in the first place had you accepted him as your bf...?Originally posted by innocentme:my bf is in army... in the past few months, i started to regret.. started to feel tt he isnt the one i m looking for.. i shant go into the details about y i dun like him..
the problem here is tt i wan to break up with him. n he dun let me.. to make things more complicated, my bf A made soccer bets with my buddy B and lost 2000 over bucks. so far, A onli paid B 300 bucks.. this debt has been dragging for more than a month..
2 weeks ago, B found out tt i have intentions to break up with A. so B asked me for a favout. he told me the truth tt A has been betting with him. A actually promised me to quit betting months ago. we agreed tt if he bet again, we'll break up.. for the past few months, our relationship have been tensing up.. n i have initiated a break up numerous times. A always told me tt he did a lot for me, n even quit betting for me.. but it was all a lie... he betrayed my trust, broke the promise and never wanted to tell me the truth... A is such a loser.. dun u think so? he never had the intentions to pay my buddy B.. he wouldnt have paid tt 300 if A wasnt afraid tt b will tell me the truth..
recently, becoz of some quarrel.. things got real bad.. and i couldnt take it anymore.. for the last 2 weeks i have been pretending tt i am still giving a chance to someone i dun like. i did so so tt my fren can collect the debts from my bf A. so i blew up today... i confronted my bf A and asked for a break up again... the same thing happened.. he's so persisitent.. we talked on the fone for hours.. i tried not to anser him.. but he kept pestering me..
he used to threaten me tt he will commit suicide if i leave him. den he say he will come to my house and make a din.. i was scared in the beginning.. i didnt wan my mum to know all these.. i didnt want my family to be involved.. but i badly wan to get out of this relatipnship now.. so much tt i realli dun care anymore.. he threathened me tt he might come kill me if i were to break up with him.. n i repiled.. tt i dun care.. Ã told him i'll do anything to leave him..
pls.. pple... can someone give me some advices? how can i leave him?
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Why I always hear the same thing about a girl breaking up with a guy stuck in the army??? Is it that the girl side is too bored while the guy is in there and unable to satisfy her or army is a good reason to find someone new???
Anyway, regarding the fact that your bf only return 300 might be because of his low allowance from SAF so ask your buddy don't think that he might not want to return him his money...
Anyway, if you want to break, just break off. Ignore his threatens. If he really hurt you, he will be in deep shit! Serve him right for finding someone like you who break with her bf when he is serving his NS. He should had known better before starting a relationship with someone like you.
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Another zao sai case....
zao lor, it's what every gal do.
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damn hes really not worth it... take up ur courage n break off with him straight... tell ur parents, tink they will understand... as for the threats threaten him back tat u will call the cops...
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no à am not attracted to anyone.. he jus.. he;s not the right guy la.. i.. i m convinced.. the longer i;m with him, the more faults i find.. it may not be his fault.. i just start to feel tt i dun like him for himself.. i cant find the connection.. he's not a soul mate.. not to me..
i agreed to be with him becoz i tot i might like him.. i did in the beginning.. well apparently, when i saw the real side of him, i didnt like wad i saw la.. it might be very bad to break up with a guy when he's in army.. he probably needs support.. but i cant be the one la.. love cant be forced.. n i dun think it;s right to pretend.. i tried.. i cant.. -
Dear Caleb,
I didn't see anywhere in her post that mentions her being attracted to some other guy. This is more an issue about the bf having a gambling problem, which, although doesn't seem serious to those of us lucky enough to have avoided the experience, can escalate into an addiction.
I'd read true stories about people so addicted to gambling, they dug into their children's bank accounts to fund their addiction. Some even got into trouble for stealing company funds.
Her concern is very real, & from what she says, the bf seems to have emotional issues. Lying to her about kicking his gambling habit (at least I hope it's still a habit), threatening to kill her & making a din at her house, etc. It's emotional blackmail, emotional threatening.
I can see why she wants to leave him...
This is a case whereby a woman has to take care of her own interests 1st, because her bf seems too self-absorbed to care about her well-being. It's Not as if she's dumping him to go off with a guy with better "prospects".
FeowFeowOriginally posted by caleb_chiang:Why I always hear the same thing about a girl breaking up with a guy stuck in the army??? Is it that the girl side is too bored while the guy is in there and unable to satisfy her or army is a good reason to find someone new???
Anyway, regarding the fact that your bf only return 300 might be because of his low allowance from SAF so ask your buddy don't think that he might not want to return him his money...
Anyway, if you want to break, just break off. Ignore his threatens. If he really hurt you, he will be in deep shit! Serve him right for finding someone like you who break with her bf when he is serving his NS. He should had known better before starting a relationship with someone like you. -
Alright... Pretty normal case, and I'd bet you are much much more younger than this... man-in-green.Originally posted by innocentme:no à am not attracted to anyone.. he jus.. he;s not the right guy la.. i.. i m convinced.. the longer i;m with him, the more faults i find.. it may not be his fault.. i just start to feel tt i dun like him for himself.. i cant find the connection.. he's not a soul mate.. not to me..
i agreed to be with him becoz i tot i might like him.. i did in the beginning.. well apparently, when i saw the real side of him, i didnt like wad i saw la.. it might be very bad to break up with a guy when he's in army.. he probably needs support.. but i cant be the one la.. love cant be forced.. n i dun think it;s right to pretend.. i tried.. i cant..
And this man-in-green is so stuck cos he's now stuck in a mud with only guys... most probably cos the way he reacts you report here is telling.
Normally NS only last so long, and if you ain't seeing nobody for now, me advise is during a weekend out, ask your boy to take you to his parents. Don't make any fuss at his place, and if his parents' not in, don't stay. Stop anymore intimate moments.
If he refuses, then you use that as big excuse that after months, you're still hiding, and he's not sincere, and he's just toying with you and bla bla bla. No matter how much he claimed to have done for you means nothing if he cannot bring you to his parents. And of course, a guy who cannot even be courageous enough to bring you to the parents probably would think twice cutting himself.
If you really do see them, or seen them oredi, approach them one day when your boy boy is in camp, and take time to seek their help. But should you do so, you must not be persuaded by the parents to stay with your boy boy. It's a final strike.
If you can wait, then let him finish NS and when he got chance to see other girls, you'd be free...
Let their parents do the middle-men's job.
I advise you to save up some monies and go Genting for a couple of days' stay. Even if he wanna jump, his parents and platoon sergents will be responsible, not you liao...
And... next time, don't just take any boy boy just because you thought you'd like him... It's like spending $100,000 signing the rental contract, doing renovations and spend more monies to buy goods and such... because you thought got shop must mean go business...
If anything happens that he threatens you again, you mentioned you got a buddy... I no know how buddy is this buddy... But don't be stupid to approach the buddy. No one in the right mind will borrow anyone monies for toto or 4D... drop me a note at me site, I'd try see if I can perhaps refer some counsellors or you should just call the police, quietly.
Police makes report... but they ain't definitely gonna be your bodyguards ... So... If all cannot, do you know you can approach his camp? Actually one motive of NS is to educate the youths... which sadly speaking, such is quite messed up nowadays. There are counselling centers at CMPBs for this purpose and the lieutenants of his platoon are supposed to care for them...
See? So many things you can do... why scare? -
hmm.. most probably he wont commit suicide or come n kill u ba.. all these are just emotional threats to tie u down.. he's betting again.. betting on his threats to be able to do their "magic"..
just be firm in e breakup.. F-I-R-M.. tt's e key word.. -
I think you should be more worried about yourself than your buddy B's debt?Originally posted by innocentme:my bf is in army... in the past few months, i started to regret.. started to feel tt he isnt the one i m looking for.. i shant go into the details about y i dun like him..
the problem here is tt i wan to break up with him. n he dun let me.. to make things more complicated, my bf A made soccer bets with my buddy B and lost 2000 over bucks. so far, A onli paid B 300 bucks.. this debt has been dragging for more than a month..
2 weeks ago, B found out tt i have intentions to break up with A. so B asked me for a favout. he told me the truth tt A has been betting with him. A actually promised me to quit betting months ago. we agreed tt if he bet again, we'll break up.. for the past few months, our relationship have been tensing up.. n i have initiated a break up numerous times. A always told me tt he did a lot for me, n even quit betting for me.. but it was all a lie... he betrayed my trust, broke the promise and never wanted to tell me the truth... A is such a loser.. dun u think so? he never had the intentions to pay my buddy B.. he wouldnt have paid tt 300 if A wasnt afraid tt b will tell me the truth..
recently, becoz of some quarrel.. things got real bad.. and i couldnt take it anymore.. for the last 2 weeks i have been pretending tt i am still giving a chance to someone i dun like. i did so so tt my fren can collect the debts from my bf A. so i blew up today... i confronted my bf A and asked for a break up again... the same thing happened.. he's so persisitent.. we talked on the fone for hours.. i tried not to anser him.. but he kept pestering me..
he used to threaten me tt he will commit suicide if i leave him. den he say he will come to my house and make a din.. i was scared in the beginning.. i didnt wan my mum to know all these.. i didnt want my family to be involved.. but i badly wan to get out of this relatipnship now.. so much tt i realli dun care anymore.. he threathened me tt he might come kill me if i were to break up with him.. n i repiled.. tt i dun care.. Ã told him i'll do anything to leave him..
pls.. pple... can someone give me some advices? how can i leave him?
For all you've mentioned's sake, just LEAVE HIM...
1. You can file a police report against him and you SHOULD. Just a matter of 'protecting' yourself? Don't think it's to the extent of needing a protection order yet? Not sure as you're the one in the situation, you should be more certain...?
2. No matter what, he's emotionally unstable.. Be caution on your moves and stay alert if he is to appear...? -
Originally posted by innocentme:my bf is in army... in the past few months, i started to regret.. started to feel tt he isnt the one i m looking for.. i shant go into the details about y i dun like him..
the problem here is tt i wan to break up with him. n he dun let me.. to make things more complicated, my bf A made soccer bets with my buddy B and lost 2000 over bucks. so far, A onli paid B 300 bucks.. this debt has been dragging for more than a month..
2 weeks ago, B found out tt i have intentions to break up with A. so B asked me for a favout. he told me the truth tt A has been betting with him. A actually promised me to quit betting months ago. we agreed tt if he bet again, we'll break up.. for the past few months, our relationship have been tensing up.. n i have initiated a break up numerous times. A always told me tt he did a lot for me, n even quit betting for me.. but it was all a lie... he betrayed my trust, broke the promise and never wanted to tell me the truth... A is such a loser.. dun u think so? he never had the intentions to pay my buddy B.. he wouldnt have paid tt 300 if A wasnt afraid tt b will tell me the truth..
recently, becoz of some quarrel.. things got real bad.. and i couldnt take it anymore.. for the last 2 weeks i have been pretending tt i am still giving a chance to someone i dun like. i did so so tt my fren can collect the debts from my bf A. so i blew up today... i confronted my bf A and asked for a break up again... the same thing happened.. he's so persisitent.. we talked on the fone for hours.. i tried not to anser him.. but he kept pestering me..
he used to threaten me tt he will commit suicide if i leave him. den he say he will come to my house and make a din.. i was scared in the beginning.. i didnt wan my mum to know all these.. i didnt want my family to be involved.. but i badly wan to get out of this relatipnship now.. so much tt i realli dun care anymore.. he threathened me tt he might come kill me if i were to break up with him.. n i repiled.. tt i dun care.. Ã told him i'll do anything to leave him..
pls.. pple... can someone give me some advices? how can i leave him?
You already can't wait to leave the relationship and if you think hard enough, nothing can stop you from doing it.
You are preventing yourself from ending the relationship due to non-related issues.
There is NOTHING he could do if you were to walk out of that door and vow never to return.
What you need is decision, not advice.
Cheers -
yup.be firm in ur decision.
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What a story? It seem like that happen evey second at any part of the world.
Well, just leave him if you think that this is the time. If you afraid that he might harm you, just report to the police, they will know how to handle the case. -
actually, y not see from the bf's point of view. i agree on feowfeow's reply that the bf may have compulsive gambling habits, which may be threathening to the relationship in long term.
but the excuse that you "thought" that you will like him in the future is totally ridiculous. the first 3 months of relationships are always the honeymoon period, therefore, i am not surprised you said that ur bf has changed after the inital stage of courtship. do you know about his gambling habits prior to accepting him? you said he promised you to change, how much have you helped him with that?
your bf is in NS, and my guess would be he's probably between 19-21, and you should be about 18-20. at this age, shouldn't relationships be abit serious, and not puppy love like, i "thought he will be the right one for me".
what if he was serious about it? then aren't you taking him for a spin?
i too have friends who choosen to break off with their bf when they are in NS, similarly, they quoted lots and lots of excuses to justify their actions.
judging from the replies you gave, you have already made up your mind, what you need is not advice but someone to support your decision. good luck! -
this guy has self-destructive tendencies and needs a shrink more than girlfriend.Originally posted by innocentme:no à am not attracted to anyone.. he jus.. he;s not the right guy la.. i.. i m convinced.. the longer i;m with him, the more faults i find.. it may not be his fault.. i just start to feel tt i dun like him for himself.. i cant find the connection.. he's not a soul mate.. not to me..
i agreed to be with him becoz i tot i might like him.. i did in the beginning.. well apparently, when i saw the real side of him, i didnt like wad i saw la.. it might be very bad to break up with a guy when he's in army.. he probably needs support.. but i cant be the one la.. love cant be forced.. n i dun think it;s right to pretend.. i tried.. i cant..
if you ask me, a guy is supposed to care for his girlfriend, instead of causing her needless worry.
if you think he will harass you, act out a lesbian relationship with another girl to back out safely -
next time he calls n threaten u again, record it down (assumin ur hp has recordin function which most hp have nowadays). bring it to the police station. going fwd, jus ignore him. case close. most pple only talk talk n wun dare to do it but if they do, jus like wat everyone says, bring in the police.
last time i also like tat. scare parents found out so kena threaten. keep sayin wan to come my hse keep up a big fuss. in the end i buay tahan n i jus said u go ahead.
be brave gal! -
Originally posted by innocentme:my bf is in army... in the past few months, i started to regret.. started to feel tt he isnt the one i m looking for.. i shant go into the details about y i dun like him..
the problem here is tt i wan to break up with him. n he dun let me.. to make things more complicated, my bf A made soccer bets with my buddy B and lost 2000 over bucks. so far, A onli paid B 300 bucks.. this debt has been dragging for more than a month..
2 weeks ago, B found out tt i have intentions to break up with A. so B asked me for a favout. he told me the truth tt A has been betting with him. A actually promised me to quit betting months ago. we agreed tt if he bet again, we'll break up.. for the past few months, our relationship have been tensing up.. n i have initiated a break up numerous times. A always told me tt he did a lot for me, n even quit betting for me.. but it was all a lie... he betrayed my trust, broke the promise and never wanted to tell me the truth... A is such a loser.. dun u think so? he never had the intentions to pay my buddy B.. he wouldnt have paid tt 300 if A wasnt afraid tt b will tell me the truth..
recently, becoz of some quarrel.. things got real bad.. and i couldnt take it anymore.. for the last 2 weeks i have been pretending tt i am still giving a chance to someone i dun like. i did so so tt my fren can collect the debts from my bf A. so i blew up today... i confronted my bf A and asked for a break up again... the same thing happened.. he's so persisitent.. we talked on the fone for hours.. i tried not to anser him.. but he kept pestering me..
he used to threaten me tt he will commit suicide if i leave him. den he say he will come to my house and make a din.. i was scared in the beginning.. i didnt wan my mum to know all these.. i didnt want my family to be involved.. but i badly wan to get out of this relatipnship now.. so much tt i realli dun care anymore.. he threathened me tt he might come kill me if i were to break up with him.. n i repiled.. tt i dun care.. Ã told him i'll do anything to leave him..
pls.. pple... can someone give me some advices? how can i leave him?
first he said he is going to kill himself, then now change to he going to kill u.
Tell him to go to hell!!
He don't even know what he want to do.
He is not likely to do the things he said, he is just throwing empty threats.
If u r scared, ask yr family members to talk to him, better yet bring in the police.
let see how big his threats are -
Originally posted by Yunhaier:
Gals want advice while guys want results You already can't wait to leave the relationship and if you think hard enough, nothing can stop you from doing it.
You are preventing yourself from ending the relationship due to non-related issues.
There is NOTHING he could do if you were to walk out of that door and vow never to return.
[b]What you need is decision, not advice.
Cheers[/b] -
This kind of guy can get pretty distressed in a situation like this. Since he hides his gambling from you n is found out by his 'traitorous friend' he he..ahem.. well, he may get desperate and MAY continue to threaten you. Now you only have a few options.. coz he is either gonna come out of the Army pissed and out for some blood... or he is gonna do the weepy in your face.. heart wrenching .. ' i cant live without u.. n i am going to kill myself' scenario. Either way..its just not looking good for you. Obviously all verbal communications in sorting ur r/s has failed.. time to go to the most obvious plan. Rally your friends... coz no way u can go 1 on 1 with him n walk out of there alive. Contigency planning means hook up with as many friends as u can..at least he gotta slash through the mob to get to you.
Oh...n if he comes n tell you parents..or kacau your parents.. u can do the same to him. Just tell his parents he did unspeakable stuffs to you. He wanna play with fire..u make sure he gets BURNED.. besides.. i hella dun like guys like that. Its losers like him that makes us males look bad.. desperate and pussy ass...
but hey..everyone makes mistakes.. maybe he just needs more motherly love and understanding.. that pooor...thing... -
If gambling is his bad habit, theres nothing u can do about it. Serious speaking, i have a gf whose bf gambles oso. Always say will quit will quit....one yr later still saying will quit lors.
I suggest u dump him.
Usually guys with no balls will threaten their gf during break up de. Even if he does threaten u face to face, u can always call 999 de. Police shall transfer him to IMH de. So dont worry. If u are going out, please make sure u bring ur hp along. Make 999 ur speed dial. Bring along a pen knife oso. Self defence. If possible, u should make sure tat theres someone accompanying you.
of course, u should speak to ur parents n clsoe frens about this situation too. So they will know how to defend themselves n protect each one another.