Bad prediction comes true.( BG relation issues) help!
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HI all,I wanna tell my story and will try to make it short an clear...pardon my bad ang moh.
I had a gf from Ipoh,Malaysia from Nov 2001 - Feb 2003,lets call her "FF". I was not attached for a couple of mths before I knew FF.During those unattached times life was dull so sometimes I would pray to goddess asking for a gf,hopefully a potential wife!!(sounds funny huh but no other options)( *I am NOT superstitious nor those very devoted type).. Soon I was intro to FF by a friend and we became an item after abt 2 mths.
(of course I dunno if goddess was really helping me but it just happened)
We broke off after after 14mths.(shall not elaborate here on Why broke off..)
I was the one who initiated the breaking,FF was very very sad,and cried bitterly many times.I remember saying this to her..."after we break off,I MIGHT NOT be able to get gf anymore,maybe as a punishment from so and so"
Has been 20mths and I am still unattached today,in the last 20mths i had dated 5 girls,(waitress & beautician from Malaysia,health care asst from Indon,teacher and sales rep from SG) went out many times,had decent fun,some had spent a night at my place and so on...BUT none of them became my gf.We slowly reduced the number of times contacting each other and finally came to a point that we dun contact at all.No quarrels ,no arguements no reason watsoever.
I tell myself, it is Ok if thats only 1 or 2 or 3 cases but naturally find it weird that the same thing happened every time....seems like a "curse" or something is blocking me into relationship....haizz bo bian.......sianzzz 4/4.
Maybe I think too much......lets hear what you guys think?
**to the bro who reply my post below.....me not suffering from erectile dysfunction or any other related disorder** hahaha,thks anyway. -
you need...
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how old r u huh ???Originally posted by CannotMakeIt:HI all,I wanna tell my story and will try to make it short an clear...pardon my bad ang moh.
I had a gf from Ipoh,Malaysia from Nov 2001 - Feb 2003,lets call her "FF". I was not attached for a couple of mths before I knew FF.During those unattached times life was dull so sometimes I would pray to goddess asking for a gf,hopefully a potential wife!!(sounds funny huh but no other options)( *I am NOT superstitious nor those very devoted type).. Soon I was intro to FF by a friend and we became an item after abt 2 mths.
(of course I dunno if goddess was really helping me but it just happened)
We broke off after after 14mths.(shall not elaborate here on Why broke off..)
I was the one who initiated the breaking,FF was very very sad,and cried bitterly many times.I remember saying this to her..."after we break off,I MIGHT NOT be able to get gf anymore,maybe as a punishment from so and so"
Has been 20mths and I am still unattached today,in the last 20mths i had dated 5 girls,(waitress & beautician from Malaysia,health care asst from Indon,teacher and sales rep from SG) went out many times,had decent fun,some had spent a night at my place and so on...BUT none of them became my gf.We slowly reduced the number of times contacting each other and finally came to a point that we dun contact at all.No quarrels ,no arguements no reason watsoever.
I tell myself, it is Ok if thats only 1 or 2 or 3 cases but naturally find it weird that the same thing happened every time....seems like a "curse" or something is blocking me into relationship....haizz bo bian.......sianzzz 4/4.
Maybe I think too much......lets hear what you guys think?
**to the bro who reply my post below.....me not suffering from erectile dysfunction or any other related disorder** hahaha,thks anyway. -
You never know what you need until you find it.
You never know what you have until you lose it.
One word of advice. Don't linger over negative thoughts, especially about yourself. They tend to be self-fulfilling more often that we'd like them to be. -
Have you asked yourself who you really love?
It seems like you are chosing and have not settle down yet...
The special someone should be able to go through good times and bad times..
She should not be there only during good times..
some advice
find someone who can go through thick and thin with you
it may save your life one day, -
Are u able to commit?
The girls u dated.. was it u who din want to move one step further or was it the girls who refused to accept i as bf? -
At this point of time, we still want to know why broke off with FF.
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That could be a curse ....and until you realise what you had done wrong and paid for it in full amount in term of deed and repentance ... For God knows what you had promised and asked for ......"after we break off,I MIGHT NOT be able to get gf anymore,maybe as a punishment from so and so"
This phrase send cold shivers down my spine ... not uncommon anyway -
u sounded like u r not ready to commit.
nvm... it's better if u stay single. and stop breaking other girls' hearts.
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Hi,
seems that u guy can read my mind...
yes you were right, I didn't want to commit. before I knew FF, most of the time I hanged out wif my buddies but always felt something missing.when I had FF, I felt that I was slowly losing all the freedom I used to have.
Some more info to share:
I was actually asking for a "potential wife" when I prayed.(Not really expecting my prayers to be answered...but anyway just do it)
Soon I met FF, someone very very very different from all my past gf, why I said so,let me give u some examples:
-She loved me and she loved my family members too.....
-took my grandmother out for dinner even she couldn't speak or understand our dialect.(I was not around)
-massaged my mother when she knew my mum had a back pain problem.
-came to my house and wash my clothes.
-bought many cans of guiness stout for me just becoz she knew I loved stout
-she spent lots of effort asking around on what were the legal procedures for me to get married with a malaysian girl.
-and when we went shopping, I casually suggested that a particular dress might look great on her,her answer was always " you like? if you like then I wear lor"
etc etc.
I guess not many gals are like FF,ya agree?
But I asked myself many times, do I really love her? the answer is no.
Just in case u guys tot I treated her like a maid,let me clarify,I treated her just as good...I like her but I dun love her...wat to do. Dun love means dun love nomatter how hard I tried,u know lar,love is all abt the feeling mah... -
!@#@#Originally posted by CannotMakeIt:Hi,
seems that u guy can read my mind...
yes you were right, I didn't want to commit. before I knew FF, most of the time I hanged out wif my buddies but always felt something missing.when I had FF, I felt that I was slowly losing all the freedom I used to have.
Some more info to share:
I was actually asking for a "potential wife" when I prayed.(Not really expecting my prayers to be answered...but anyway just do it)
Soon I met FF, someone very very very different from all my past gf, why I said so,let me give u some examples:
-She loved me and she loved my family members too.....
-took my grandmother out for dinner even she couldn't speak or understand our dialect.(I was not around)
-massaged my mother when she knew my mum had a back pain problem.
-came to my house and wash my clothes.
-bought many cans of guiness stout for me just becoz she knew I loved stout
-she spent lots of effort asking around on what were the legal procedures for me to get married with a malaysian girl.
-and when we went shopping, I casually suggested that a particular dress might look great on her,her answer was always " you like? if you like then I wear lor"
etc etc.
I guess not many gals are like FF,ya agree?
But I asked myself many times, do I really love her? the answer is no.
Just in case u guys tot I treated her like a maid,let me clarify,I treated her just as good...I like her but I dun love her...wat to do. Dun love means dun love nomatter how hard I tried,u know lar,love is all abt the feeling mah...
if tats the case, please let FF go. Please lors. U dont love her. Dont lead her ard aimlessly. -
Very curious, wat is ur definition of a potential wife ?
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Geez... err If I was not ready to commit.. I would be very freaked out if my partner does all these for me. It is not that it is not good. It is just TOO MUCH TOO SOON. I mean.. geez.. taking out my family members for dinner when I am not around.. is like... infiltrating the Headquarters u know! I mean Unless i REQUEST for him/her to do it.. or else.. I find it a bit too... pushy on this front. AND geez... "you like.. if u like I wear lor" is like.. ... u try to answer " i like u to don't wear.. then u don't wear issit?" better mah.
I don't know if you are getting punished or not. BUt I do know putting in TOO much effort in a relationship TOO soon is just as bad as not contributing enough. It makes the other party dont have enough opportunity to 'sacrifice' cos all the work done by one party liao. Which is why people just shouldnt TRY too hard - Quality is more important than Quantity.
Anyway I think you are just dating to make a point to urself - that u are giving urself a chance ot get to know more girls.. and while they may be attractive.. think perhaps your interest in them simply isn't deep enough for you to put in the effort to know them more. Plus the subconcious desire to punish urself maybe pushes u away from commitment. hurhurhur.
What you need is to get 'tekan' by another older wiser woman. Someone who abuses ur feelings, wakes up your heart and then hurt it. THen suddenly you will be back in the field again. Need to repay ur debt.. then u can make money again. -
faith have strange ways of doing things.
He maybe chossing now but....the world is around.. -
I ask for something and got that something but gave up in the end.
I think I kena punishment ler.
Can date gals(for a short period) but cannot have gf, is like having an ice cream but cannot eat it and watch it slowly melt away....
can't help,if its really a punishment.lan lan siao siao char kway tiao.... but dunno how long it will last. -
wow u definately like to date people from the service industry
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btw,wats FF? Feow Feow? Final Fantasy? ....must really be ur final fantasy man
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You don't love her? then why get together with her in the first place, get her hopes all up high and later dump her?
Worse still u prayed for a potential wife.. she's so nice and you did that to her...i wonder if it's really retribution... -
I know someone would ask this question,, here is what I have to say:Originally posted by silv3rgal:You don't love her? then why get together with her in the first place, get her hopes all up high and later dump her?
Worse still u prayed for a potential wife.. she's so nice and you did that to her...i wonder if it's really retribution...
2 persons become couple for some reasons and break up for 1000 reasons.My case is just one of the many reasons. I wouldn't know if FF is the right one for me if we didn't start at all. It all started becoz I liked her & she liked me,then her
likeness for me progressed to love while mine stayed as it was. The time when I
started to have the thought of letting her go was when she started to do all those great things for me....I began to get worried, my feeling towards FF wasn't love, till one day I hinted to her by telling her this:
You have spent many months loving someone and I know how fortunate it is to be loved, but I think it is your turn now enjoy all these......blah blah blah....
she answered : dun worry manz, I am still young and pretty,chances are all over the place...why? you scared I cling on you izzit?
I think u are right,it my retribution. -
if doing all that she did for you couldn't make you love her then i really don't know what can.Originally posted by CannotMakeIt:I know someone would ask this question,, here is what I have to say:
2 persons become couple for some reasons and break up for 1000 reasons.My case is just one of the many reasons. I wouldn't know if FF is the right one for me if we didn't start at all. It all started becoz I liked her & she liked me,then her
likeness for me progressed to love while mine stayed as it was. The time when I
started to have the thought of letting her go was when she started to do all those great things for me....I began to get worried, my feeling towards FF wasn't love, till one day I hinted to her by telling her this:
You have spent many months loving someone and I know how fortunate it is to be loved, but I think it is your turn now enjoy all these......blah blah blah....
she answered : dun worry manz, I am still young and pretty,chances are all over the place...why? you scared I cling on you izzit?
I think u are right,it my retribution.
maybe u need someone to treat you shabbily before you know what is treating you good.
you never taste bitter before thats why you dunno what is call sweet when u tasted it.